Ever since the beginning of recorded history, humans have been trying to understand and explain the mysteries of love and sex. Over the past few decades, scientists started using specialized equipment to measure physical arousal by attaching devices to private parts. More recently, they’ve been observing the most important romantic organ in the human body—the brain.
Forbes wrote about the research of Andreas Bartels, Ph.D., at the Imperial College of London. Bartels used a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) machine, which can capture images of brain activity, to pinpoint the areas of the brain that are activated by love.
Bartles did a study of 17 people who were madly in love. He had the test subjects look at photos of platonic friends and of their loved ones while he observed activity in their brains. The resulting images clearly showed that certain sections of the brain are stimulated by love.
The scientist then did another study to observe the brains of mothers looking at their infants. The images showed that exactly the same areas of the brain were stimulated by maternal love, except for an area in the hypothalamus in the base of the brain that seems to be linked to sexual arousal.
The conclusion, therefore, is that specific areas of the brain light up at the prospect of love.
Bartels also noticed something else: When the test subjects were feeling love, certain areas of the brain were turned off. The scans showed that three regions of the brain generally associated with moral judgment go dim.
Chemistry of love
Then there’s the chemistry of love. Helen Fisher, Ph.D., a professor at Rutgers University, has written that three networks in the brain, and their associated neurotransmitters, are associated with love. They are:
- Lust—the craving for sexual gratification, which is linked to testosterone in both men and women.
- Romantic attraction—the elation and yearning of new love, which is linked to the natural stimulants dopamine and norepinephrine, and low activity in serotonin.
- Attachment—the calm emotional union with a long-term partner, which is linked to oxytocin and vasopressin.
Fisher also did a study using fMRI technology. She scanned the brains of 40 men and women who were wildly in love. When these people gazed at photos of their beloved, the scans showed increased activity in the areas of the brain that produce dopamine. This neurochemical is associated with feelings of excessive energy, elation, focused attention and motivation to win rewards.
Dopamine, by the way, is also the neurotransmitter associated with addiction.
Effects of arousal
Research has also proven what we’ve probably all experienced—sexual arousal can make us throw caution to the winds.
In another study using fMRI technology, Dr. Ken Maravilla of the University of Washington found that sexual arousal dims down the parts of the brain that control inhibition and, perhaps, moral judgment.
“These are things that keep you in line, and in arousal they may become less active, allowing you to become more aroused,” Maravilla said, as quoted by Wired Magazine.
In a paper called, The Heat of the Moment: The Effect on Sexual Arousal on Sexual Decision Making, Dan Ariely, of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and George Lowenstein, of Carnegie Mellon University, documented that being sexually turned on affected the judgment of college-aged men. (Well, duh ”¦)
Specifically, Ariely and Lowenstein found that, “the increase in motivation to have sex produced by sexual arousal seems to decrease the relative importance of other considerations, such as behaving ethically toward a potential sexual partner or protecting oneself against unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease.”
But another of their findings was, “people seem to have only limited insight into the impact of sexual arousal on their own judgments and behavior.” In other words, most of us don’t appreciate how strong the sex urges are, and how they can make us do things that perhaps we shouldn’t be doing.
Sociopathic seduction
So let’s look at all this information in the context of our relationships with sociopaths.
Two of the main strategies that sociopaths use to snare us are love and sex. They emphatically proclaim their love and consciously seduce us into having sex. So what happens?
- Love causes specific areas of the brain light up, and at the same time, areas associated with morals and judgment go dim.
- The areas of the brain that produce dopamine become active, and dopamine is related to addiction.
- Sexual arousal dims the parts of the brain responsible for inhibition and judgment that might prevent us from making bad choices.
- We don’t recognize the impact that sexual urges have on our judgment and behavior.
Dr. Helen Fisher writes that the three primary brain systems associated with love evolved over the ages to play different roles in courtship, mating, reproduction and parenting. They are Nature’s way of ensuring the survival of the human species.
Sociopaths convincingly proclaim their enduring love and their sexual desire for us. Not realizing the pervasive deceit of these predators, we believe that they love us. We have sex with them, and the sex is great. Many Lovefraud readers have been amazed at the sociopath’s sexual appetite and prowess.
Therefore, sociopaths hijack our brain through our feelings of love and the bonds of sex. In their seductions, they turn the natural psychological and chemical functions of our brains against us.
‘Healing is a process ”“we go backwards and forwards until we reach a more pleasant resting place of peace and tranquitity no matter what circumstances come up.’
Yep – just when i am feeling all ‘Zen’, something might come along and trip me, and when my reaction is way off like this, I need to see it as another learning opportunity.
Today’s lesson: Blueskies needs to find a way of dealing with triggers in a calm and objective way in order to not make herself unhappy and full of fear.:)x
oh and blueskies: please dont be ashamed!! i think we are excused for trying to be on the safe side!!! you werent rude or anything.
no matter what happens, or how people act all around us, we lift our heads and try to stick to our own dignity. its SO hard, but I have noticed it does wonders for ones selfesteem. and we may falter here and there. were human. im sooo drifting off. sleep well.
oh and btw i only NOW understand that you meant me when you said pianoman=ML. HAHAHA. I thought at the time i read it: oh wow this pianoman guy used to be here with his other alias: ML. Seriously!!! I thought yay they at least see though him.
OMG! I laugh about it now. So glad this is out of the way.
Have a good rest ML. I hope we didn’t keep you up all night lastnight:(x
so when you said:
” give it up you are soooo sprung. Yawn.” that was directed towards me? i thought to pianoman.
again: glad this is out of the way. in a sense we dont have to worry at all. its just a matter of time. ‘bad’ people wont get out of this what they want if they dont make those ‘ foul’ posts and sooner or later we all see through that. i never posted anything negative on this site. that is the best barometer. if everyone good sticks to that and assertively bring to attention only once or twice when people are not, we will all be fine.
i think america is going to sleep now. goodnight everyone.
Yeah goodnight America!xx Its a beautiful new day here in europe and hopefully a saner one for me!xxx
I also remember one other thing he said to me in our relationship. After a while I thought he wasnt truly interested in knowing how I was, he would only talk of himself. I asked him and he said: your questions to/for me tell me everything about you.
At the time I thought it was pretty smart of him cause i never looked at it that way. However analysing it more deeply it ofcourse still didnt provide answers:
1. by simply stating that is enough still means he only cared about what he needed to know of me. he didnt care about my needs or anything. clearly.
2. its super manipulative. looking at my questions from that perspective means he might not have any interest in answering them honestly ( as far as he has a clue what that truly means)
i remember trying to open up more myself so that he would have an example of how it can be done. talking about emotions and such. i would then ask him how he feels and he would say things like: “you see how i am paying attention to what you say, right now its all about you!” or ” dont ride me for answers about my trauma’s”
anybody else have similar experience? im so curious to know whether your psychopaths had similar traits. it would reaffirm me i suppose…
Yes. Definately.Exactly the same traits.
1. by simply stating that is enough still means he only cared about what he needed to know of me. he didnt care about my needs or anything. clearly.
2. its super manipulative. looking at my questions from that perspective means he might not have any interest in answering them honestly ( as far as he has a clue what that truly means)
you have hit the nail on the head there.
The one I knew was constantly trying to manipulate conversations, LORD it over people by either steering the conversation into what he required to know (like ‘if i talk about myself and my needs constantly, how long will this person take it, then I can gauge how much of a wimp they are and how little they will assert them selves’)or WITHOLDING information in a conversation to allow people to rattle on down the wrong path ( a feeling of superiority for the S/P and confusion as to why he didnt mention something on the part of the other persons or person… aim= superiority for the creep and confusion for everyone else, while everyone is confused they are easier to PLAY).
ML – I hope you no longer think he is pretty smart and see that everything that comes/came out of his gob is the product of a stunted and depraved mind.
yeah..yuck…it still baffles me. he sounded so sincere. SO sincere. sounded like he put a lot of thought behind his morals and spiritual path.
cant believe i fell for it. im so much wiser now. i wouldnt have been able to fathom such creatures before. now i can. hopefully it is so that it can prevent me from worse in the future.
sadly i was quite taken by his intelligence in conversation. now i know it was intelligence in manipulation…
blueskies i thought you wouldve went to bed…was your sociopath also your ex?