Ever since the beginning of recorded history, humans have been trying to understand and explain the mysteries of love and sex. Over the past few decades, scientists started using specialized equipment to measure physical arousal by attaching devices to private parts. More recently, they’ve been observing the most important romantic organ in the human body—the brain.
Forbes wrote about the research of Andreas Bartels, Ph.D., at the Imperial College of London. Bartels used a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) machine, which can capture images of brain activity, to pinpoint the areas of the brain that are activated by love.
Bartles did a study of 17 people who were madly in love. He had the test subjects look at photos of platonic friends and of their loved ones while he observed activity in their brains. The resulting images clearly showed that certain sections of the brain are stimulated by love.
The scientist then did another study to observe the brains of mothers looking at their infants. The images showed that exactly the same areas of the brain were stimulated by maternal love, except for an area in the hypothalamus in the base of the brain that seems to be linked to sexual arousal.
The conclusion, therefore, is that specific areas of the brain light up at the prospect of love.
Bartels also noticed something else: When the test subjects were feeling love, certain areas of the brain were turned off. The scans showed that three regions of the brain generally associated with moral judgment go dim.
Chemistry of love
Then there’s the chemistry of love. Helen Fisher, Ph.D., a professor at Rutgers University, has written that three networks in the brain, and their associated neurotransmitters, are associated with love. They are:
- Lust—the craving for sexual gratification, which is linked to testosterone in both men and women.
- Romantic attraction—the elation and yearning of new love, which is linked to the natural stimulants dopamine and norepinephrine, and low activity in serotonin.
- Attachment—the calm emotional union with a long-term partner, which is linked to oxytocin and vasopressin.
Fisher also did a study using fMRI technology. She scanned the brains of 40 men and women who were wildly in love. When these people gazed at photos of their beloved, the scans showed increased activity in the areas of the brain that produce dopamine. This neurochemical is associated with feelings of excessive energy, elation, focused attention and motivation to win rewards.
Dopamine, by the way, is also the neurotransmitter associated with addiction.
Effects of arousal
Research has also proven what we’ve probably all experienced—sexual arousal can make us throw caution to the winds.
In another study using fMRI technology, Dr. Ken Maravilla of the University of Washington found that sexual arousal dims down the parts of the brain that control inhibition and, perhaps, moral judgment.
“These are things that keep you in line, and in arousal they may become less active, allowing you to become more aroused,” Maravilla said, as quoted by Wired Magazine.
In a paper called, The Heat of the Moment: The Effect on Sexual Arousal on Sexual Decision Making, Dan Ariely, of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and George Lowenstein, of Carnegie Mellon University, documented that being sexually turned on affected the judgment of college-aged men. (Well, duh ”¦)
Specifically, Ariely and Lowenstein found that, “the increase in motivation to have sex produced by sexual arousal seems to decrease the relative importance of other considerations, such as behaving ethically toward a potential sexual partner or protecting oneself against unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease.”
But another of their findings was, “people seem to have only limited insight into the impact of sexual arousal on their own judgments and behavior.” In other words, most of us don’t appreciate how strong the sex urges are, and how they can make us do things that perhaps we shouldn’t be doing.
Sociopathic seduction
So let’s look at all this information in the context of our relationships with sociopaths.
Two of the main strategies that sociopaths use to snare us are love and sex. They emphatically proclaim their love and consciously seduce us into having sex. So what happens?
- Love causes specific areas of the brain light up, and at the same time, areas associated with morals and judgment go dim.
- The areas of the brain that produce dopamine become active, and dopamine is related to addiction.
- Sexual arousal dims the parts of the brain responsible for inhibition and judgment that might prevent us from making bad choices.
- We don’t recognize the impact that sexual urges have on our judgment and behavior.
Dr. Helen Fisher writes that the three primary brain systems associated with love evolved over the ages to play different roles in courtship, mating, reproduction and parenting. They are Nature’s way of ensuring the survival of the human species.
Sociopaths convincingly proclaim their enduring love and their sexual desire for us. Not realizing the pervasive deceit of these predators, we believe that they love us. We have sex with them, and the sex is great. Many Lovefraud readers have been amazed at the sociopath’s sexual appetite and prowess.
Therefore, sociopaths hijack our brain through our feelings of love and the bonds of sex. In their seductions, they turn the natural psychological and chemical functions of our brains against us.
Learnthelesson,
Hope you are having a wonderful summer 🙂
Witsend,
Thank you 🙂 …. my son hasnt had any fainting episodes since May! Hoping thats behind us for good… And Im reading lots of books at camp and devoting my free time to myself! Its fun to get to know ourselves.. its really rather fun to treat myself to ME…. (And gosh if you all didnt know me, Id think Id sound like an arrogant soul…but its been over 40 years since Ive treated myself as special as I treated the BAD SEEDS in my life!!!
Anyway, I , too, wish you a summer relaxing as it can possibly be, certainly with school out it I hope the stress level has subsided for you. I was trying to keep up and think i read you were struggling with something but not ready to share or cant put your finger on it… was that your post??? forgive if not…. maybe Blueskies?? so much going on in between the posts…but my prayers and comfort to you on your healing journey and that of your sons path… Hope you are getting some downtime for yourself too!!! YOU DESERVE IT!!! – LTL
MariaLisa,
I had taken a nap and when I came back here, this jumped out at me. You asked, “n short: he may have had a moment of insight into himself here?”
I was told (by whom?) that a narcissiopath is incapable of introspection. Wierd, huh?
I’d bet the quote had nothing to do with insight.
Wow, that is GREAT news about your son…..I am also glad that you are finding time to enjoy the summer. To often time just goes by so fast and summer is over before we know it.
I am struggling with something right now and still trying to figure it out in my head before I throw it out there.
Witsend, Thanks again:) I will see if I can find those episodes of (gulp) Oprah (I am not big on those kind of shows;) I will hunt down Kathy’s post too, I usually read all of her comments, but have bee a bit distracted last couple of days and not paying the actual articles enough attention:( I hope that the atmosphere on here gets lighter so that you feel you can post freely again soon.:)xx
Hey LTL!xx well thank you lady! That is a real boost to start my morning with! It is always wonderful to read your posts and to hear from you:)xxx VERY pleased to hear that you are having some relaxing down time and that your son is doing so much better!!:D LONG may it continue!! Arrogant soul?! PUH!:) I think its a blooming marvellous place to spend time: happily in the company of yourself, not doing too much of that lately, but I do have the odd ‘moment’.:)MUCH LOVE and Happy camping!
Blue.xx
Rosa:
Another tool I use is to do what oxy used to say:
iwould see the name and thing”vegetable” or “potplant”. And move on. I have to admit..it becomes automatic if you do it enough! xoxoxxoxoxo
Rosa:
It should read, THINK VEGETABLE” and move on.
Witsend (or Kathleen), I am reading through the posts and getting lost, but can you remember which thread Kathleen talked about ‘splitting’? Ta:)x
Dear MariaLisa, they all seem to operate on the same textbook. “Mine” told me exactly the same things, and I tried to fill his emptiness and tried to be his “missing link”, of course it was a fast moving target and in the end I never could fit in. In the end it was uncomprehensible, but it sounded SO PROFOUND in the beginning!
My father operates on the same mode, by not paying any attention to women but to seem to be a “internally tormented soul” whose “inner child” needs some “fix” and “rescue.” Because he seems so innocuous women are around him like flies around the honey pot. He turns 80 next January!
It reminds me of the scene in the old film “some like it hot”, one of my favourite films where Tony Curtis pretends of being incapable of feelings and Marilyn Monroe tries to “heal” him from the “disease” by seducing HIM, of course what he intended. He was playing a transvestite in a women’s band and Marilyn confessed to him (thinking of him as a woman as well!) that she was afraid of abusing men! Absolutely brillant, specially when she sings the song “I want to be loved by you, boopoobidooo”!
hi libelle. thats brilliant. they play right into every human giving themselves away through projection. i honestly know he is a brilliant ( in the sense of he is very good of manipulating without getting caught, he used to be caught more often, he keeps getting better at it) psychopath. but a really sick one. now i can move on from that joke of a man. BUT i still feel unsure about spotting them. i really wish they would wear signs or somethign. i just wish to never ever have to deal with one again. but they are too many to have that ever happen…and i dont wanna walk around this planet trying to read people all the time. problem is because my father was a manipulator ( he wasnt a psychopath but his mom was, so he unfortunately inherited some patterns to be able to deal with his fam.dynamic) i am ashamed to say, i feel more attracted to manipulating men. ofcourse not in the sense that fall for men who are clearly being manipulative! it happens in a more unconcsious level. anybody have any ideas how to change this?