Ever since the beginning of recorded history, humans have been trying to understand and explain the mysteries of love and sex. Over the past few decades, scientists started using specialized equipment to measure physical arousal by attaching devices to private parts. More recently, they’ve been observing the most important romantic organ in the human body—the brain.
Forbes wrote about the research of Andreas Bartels, Ph.D., at the Imperial College of London. Bartels used a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) machine, which can capture images of brain activity, to pinpoint the areas of the brain that are activated by love.
Bartles did a study of 17 people who were madly in love. He had the test subjects look at photos of platonic friends and of their loved ones while he observed activity in their brains. The resulting images clearly showed that certain sections of the brain are stimulated by love.
The scientist then did another study to observe the brains of mothers looking at their infants. The images showed that exactly the same areas of the brain were stimulated by maternal love, except for an area in the hypothalamus in the base of the brain that seems to be linked to sexual arousal.
The conclusion, therefore, is that specific areas of the brain light up at the prospect of love.
Bartels also noticed something else: When the test subjects were feeling love, certain areas of the brain were turned off. The scans showed that three regions of the brain generally associated with moral judgment go dim.
Chemistry of love
Then there’s the chemistry of love. Helen Fisher, Ph.D., a professor at Rutgers University, has written that three networks in the brain, and their associated neurotransmitters, are associated with love. They are:
- Lust—the craving for sexual gratification, which is linked to testosterone in both men and women.
- Romantic attraction—the elation and yearning of new love, which is linked to the natural stimulants dopamine and norepinephrine, and low activity in serotonin.
- Attachment—the calm emotional union with a long-term partner, which is linked to oxytocin and vasopressin.
Fisher also did a study using fMRI technology. She scanned the brains of 40 men and women who were wildly in love. When these people gazed at photos of their beloved, the scans showed increased activity in the areas of the brain that produce dopamine. This neurochemical is associated with feelings of excessive energy, elation, focused attention and motivation to win rewards.
Dopamine, by the way, is also the neurotransmitter associated with addiction.
Effects of arousal
Research has also proven what we’ve probably all experienced—sexual arousal can make us throw caution to the winds.
In another study using fMRI technology, Dr. Ken Maravilla of the University of Washington found that sexual arousal dims down the parts of the brain that control inhibition and, perhaps, moral judgment.
“These are things that keep you in line, and in arousal they may become less active, allowing you to become more aroused,” Maravilla said, as quoted by Wired Magazine.
In a paper called, The Heat of the Moment: The Effect on Sexual Arousal on Sexual Decision Making, Dan Ariely, of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and George Lowenstein, of Carnegie Mellon University, documented that being sexually turned on affected the judgment of college-aged men. (Well, duh ”¦)
Specifically, Ariely and Lowenstein found that, “the increase in motivation to have sex produced by sexual arousal seems to decrease the relative importance of other considerations, such as behaving ethically toward a potential sexual partner or protecting oneself against unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease.”
But another of their findings was, “people seem to have only limited insight into the impact of sexual arousal on their own judgments and behavior.” In other words, most of us don’t appreciate how strong the sex urges are, and how they can make us do things that perhaps we shouldn’t be doing.
Sociopathic seduction
So let’s look at all this information in the context of our relationships with sociopaths.
Two of the main strategies that sociopaths use to snare us are love and sex. They emphatically proclaim their love and consciously seduce us into having sex. So what happens?
- Love causes specific areas of the brain light up, and at the same time, areas associated with morals and judgment go dim.
- The areas of the brain that produce dopamine become active, and dopamine is related to addiction.
- Sexual arousal dims the parts of the brain responsible for inhibition and judgment that might prevent us from making bad choices.
- We don’t recognize the impact that sexual urges have on our judgment and behavior.
Dr. Helen Fisher writes that the three primary brain systems associated with love evolved over the ages to play different roles in courtship, mating, reproduction and parenting. They are Nature’s way of ensuring the survival of the human species.
Sociopaths convincingly proclaim their enduring love and their sexual desire for us. Not realizing the pervasive deceit of these predators, we believe that they love us. We have sex with them, and the sex is great. Many Lovefraud readers have been amazed at the sociopath’s sexual appetite and prowess.
Therefore, sociopaths hijack our brain through our feelings of love and the bonds of sex. In their seductions, they turn the natural psychological and chemical functions of our brains against us.
hi libelle. thats brilliant. they play right into every human giving themselves away through projection. i honestly know he is a brilliant ( in the sense of he is very good of manipulating without getting caught, he used to be caught more often, he keeps getting better at it) psychopath. but a really sick one. now i can move on from that joke of a man. BUT i still feel unsure about spotting them. i really wish they would wear signs or somethign. i just wish to never ever have to deal with one again. but they are too many to have that ever happen…and i dont wanna walk around this planet trying to read people all the time. problem is because my father was a manipulator ( he wasnt a psychopath but his mom was, so he unfortunately inherited some patterns to be able to deal with his fam.dynamic) i am ashamed to say, i feel more attracted to manipulating men. ofcourse not in the sense that fall for men who are clearly being manipulative! it happens in a more unconcsious level. anybody have any ideas how to change this?
libelle: about the honeypot you mentioned:this is a quote from my psychopathic ex:
“I tended to be that guy that girls always think is harmless, mostly because I am..”
I FEEL SO STUPID NOW!!!
Dear MariaLisa, I think we got it!
Of course with this camouflage tactics they do NOT NEED TO CHANGE, it would be downright stupid for the P as it is far more difficult catering for the feelings of the other and standing back and NOT ALWAYS GETTING WHAT YOU ARE AFTER. LOL.
You are NOT STUPID!!! I had it all my life right in front of my nose, and my father did warn me from his like since I was 6 years old (by constant cheating, the discussions the parents had in front of us about his infidelity, once he told a woman that he would sleep with Mom but think of HER, my mother was aware of it and they quareled in front of us, I was 7 years old or so, driving my mother into an attempt of suicide when I was 15 years old, warning me from the danger of men in general, and with his constant hints of how to seduce women), but I had to become 46 years old to GET IT! Better late than never.
When I meet a person (any kind of person) and I get a fuzzy or slightly too cozy feeling in the stomach, I ask myself what trigger he/she pulled. Mostly I find that it reminds me of either my younger brother or some traits of my manipulating father, the urge to help, or the “instant soulmate”- routine, i.e. mirroring me. I try not to figure out every person and hunt for them red flags, but I listen very careful to my stomach and let the guard down VERY carefully, and with every red flag the guard goes up again a little further.
It is no paranoia, just common sense to me now! I am not here on earth to please people and make them happy. They have to earn my trust with deeds not with words, as Oxy and others say. It is so true. I have learned all about these things dearly in life and it has been confirmed here on LF, and I stick proudly to it! Have a peaceful weekend!
Thanks Libelle.
I am also learning to feel my intuition better. I find it very hrd when my brain messes me up so much. I dont know whether you are acquinted with the Myers_Briggs typology, but I am an INTJ. Meaning my way of dealing with everythign is rather rational and by using logic. At the sme time I am vulnerable and have some wrong brain programming from my youth. SO it is the perfect ground or how does one call that, for a psychopath. Not for too long ofcourse cause thinking logically I started looking at his actions at a certain point and it became clear. BUT i was hooked cause I was emotionally attached. Anywho, since my ex I find it nearly impossible to be flirtatious or anything like that with a man. My spontaneity is gone in that area. I sometimes wonder whether I will ever have a real relationship again. But you seem to have the answer, which lies in leanrning to feel your intuition. I think I need to learn to do that more, and it will take time. How did you help flourish that in you?
an INTJ! – a mastermind! Counts for about 1% of the population:) Pragmatic, logical with a low tolerance for emotionalism! I guess if you are true to type your emotional intuition might need tweaking a bit!;-Px
Learning to feel your intuition? You FEEL your intuition, it is what you FEEL. Its learning to listen to it that is the trick.
Hey blueskies.
Are you familiar with the typology or you looked that up?
My N is well developed ( N stands for iNtuition in the iNtj), however not my F ( feeling) instead of the F i have the T meaning thinking….i have only recently done a course on this. I still havent figured it all out. Do you ahve suggestions how to not only sense things ( feel thngs) but not pushing them away by using the brain? I guess Im forming the answer right here: just dont right?
oh btw intuition in the MBTI typology doesnt mean intiution in the meaning we generally use it. its more about seeing patterns and so forth…
blueskies:
just read your second post: yeah thats it. learning to listen to it.
totally hard. at the same time sort of exciting to know there is that area of wisdom inside you that you can learn to tap into in a better way!
🙂 Sorry ML, but I think It is odd to ask if i have suggestions as to not only sense things but feel things in the context of this site! You have read the posts here right? But no , I dont think its a ‘JUST dont’… I think there is a middle ground to be found(see me and my poetry) where the brain catches up with the intuition:) NIRVANA!
*typo* ‘as to how to’ not ‘as to’