May, 2008 I brought to your attention the tragic case of Dr. Amy Castillo, a pediatrician who lost her court fight to protect her children from their psychopathic father. Unfortunately, I have to inform you that another two children have been lost and another mother named Amy is left asking how we let her down. Yes I said we let her down. The judge who allowed the children’s father, Michael Connolly to have unsupervised visitation was representing all of us.
We have to put our heads together and figure out how to change the system. Children need and deserve protection from sociopaths. Mothers and fathers like Amy made a mistake in marriage and love, that shouldn’t mean the children conceived should pay the ultimate price!
According to the Chicago Tribune Connolly, like Dr. Castillo’s ex-husband told people he would kill the children. “In court documents dating back to 2005, she (Amy) detailed her estranged husband’s threats against her family and fought unsuccessfully to keep him from having unsupervised visits with their two sons. Michael Connolly violated the orders of protection against him six times, police records said, and he often vowed to kill himself rather than be separated from the boys.”
Now I often tell people not to believe sociopaths. Here is the official Lovefraud exception to that rule: If a sociopath says he/she is going to kill someone, believe him/her.
I ask that everyone reading this blog write their lawmakers and submit editorials to newspapers about the need to protect children. Not just physically but emotionally too. I also welcome your ideas about what we as a community should do.
One other thing, let’s get the word out that family members have to stop covering for sociopaths and enabling them. Don’t let pity cloud judgment, and stand in the way of safety. The Tribune quotes Connolly’s aunt as saying, “I feel sorry for Michael”¦I know that sounds terrible, but he must have been so tormented.”
(Thank you to Rune, who brought this story to my attention)
Oxy – Please pass me the kleenex box. Jeez I no sooner get myself together after Runes words and Im right back where I started with your inspirational and loving words. I clicked on to Amy Castillos link as I wasnt here when it was first posted. There are no words. There are no words. Truly there are no words after just reading her story. except….love you too
I also would like to mandate that the judges who set these P’s free – receive “punishment” in the form serving additional hours of service with residing judges and lawschools of educating/ sharing their experience from their chair… Share what they witnessed, what convinced them, what laws they felt supported the custody be awarded to a diagnosed mentally ill man – share that he often represented himself (HUGE RED FLAG)…share his testimony – and then share the newsarticles of how the man he set free murdered three beautiful innocent children.
Its along the lines of the surgeon who admitted my daughter on the presurgical observation floor of childrens hospital. Under observation for potential life threatening illness — all licensed physicians went into surgery or to their practices that day and their protocal is to let resident and interns “monitor” these patients.
I am proud to say, after dropping the ball with my daughter, childrens hospital no longer leaves “observation for potential surgical procedures” in the hands of residents/interns.
Once the word is out – once awareness is there – where its about the mistake that was made or through seeing the transcripts of the mastermind of Sociopath in the courtroom – once others are educated – rules change.
Beam me up Scotty . At the age of 52 I did not know what a psychopath was . Now when I say that , I was aware of the people like ted bundy and co as per the news net works but I never suspected that I would ever end up living with one and falling in love with one . In my case a female one . What am I saying here . Psychopaths are mankinds dark dirty secret and nobody wants to talk about it . Consequently the majority of the population knows nothing of it . The only ones that have any idea are the psychopath victims , the ones closest to the psychopaths . Most of them are living traumatised lives and as such are hardly aware of their own condition , let alone able to understand it and escape from it .It is as if mankind is living in a perceptual fog as far as being aware of these creatures . Is it coincidence or by design that we are floundering around in this fog . In the modern age with all the information that is out there about psychopaths how is it that the general population knows about as much about them as they know about 10th century mongolian needle point . Well can you smell the conspiracy yet . All through the ages there are hints of their existance , whether it be Caligula’s Rome , Hitlers third Reich or the symbolic vampires in Hollywood movies . The evidence is all there , but somehow, for the most part ,people are not seeing the psychopaths that they run into in their everyday lives . Kids go to school to learn mathematics , languages ,the sciences ,art etc but no where have I heard of a class called psychopath 101 . For the most part any teachings on psychopaths seems to be some small section of a psychology or psychiatry degree . My own schooling in the subject of psychopaths involved a real life encounter that almost psychologically destroyed me, followed by lots of reading trying to figure out what had been done to me , followed by further encounters to see what I could learn about them and see if I could out maneuver them. Heh…, I didn’t even sign up for the course . Now I am a real life psychopath detector which means that most people I know think I am nuts . The few that can relate , because they went to the same school have become closer friends . The world has a BIG problem . The world has to become more aware of the psychopaths around them . How about psychopath pride day , you know ,parades and all that , kind of like gay pride day . Maybe that will help them come out of the closet . They do like being the center of attention after all . How about some reality TV .“ Survivor “Romantic encounters with real life psychopaths . How about T shirts sold in pairs . One that says PSYCHOPATH , the other , PSYCHOPATH VICTIM . Trying to get psychopathic politicians to raise awareness of psychopaths would be like trying to raise the Titanic with a rubber dingy . And here lies the conspiracy . The people that rule the world do not want us gentle loving humans to realise that the people that are pulling the strings are for the most part psychopaths . Good heavens no , it might cause us to become unruly and we might descriminate against the psychopaths . Psychopaths have rights too you know , the right to express themselves in all their gory nastiness at our expense . The laws of the land protect the villans better than they protect the victims , and if that is not a conspiracy I don`t know what is.
I don’t know if someone already suggested this as I’m only able to skim the replies. If so forgive the redundancy… Each of the state bar associations has their own publication (sometimes different ones for different sections) read by attorneys and judges. It think an educational article in one or more of those would be a good place to start.
You have “low moral reasoning ability”, and then you have ’situational, unexercised reasoning deficit’. Assuming the judge isn’t the former, they’re the latter.
Everybody knows how hard it is to educate somebody who’s “in-S-perienced.” The truth is, most good and decent people have their heads up their asses. I sure did, even after several S encounters. It took my gaining the insight that my sociopathic friend wore a ’normal mask’, and that this behavior was exactly like all the other nice/evil people I’d known, before I began my knowledge quest.
Not only does a thing have to impact one personally, but they need insight and knowledge that reaches them on a emotional level. When I told my in-S-perienced wife that our friend had psychopathic qualities, I got the crazy look ”“ as in I was crazy.
I eventually figured out that some people get it right away, but usually you have to find a common reference in which to plant seeds of knowledge.
The “pundit” Chris Matthews asked about Blagojevich on national TV: “Is the guy crazy or stupid or what?” All the other political experts began to hash out all kinds of reasons why Blago was acting the way he was – mostly complicated rational ones. Everything but “sociopath” or “psychopath” was mentioned. Cue the S-perienced commentors on political blogs armed with links to Hare or wikipedia or whatever might work to educate their debate pals.
(Kathleen Hawk is looking at me exasperated with her hands on hips but white board marker still in hand…)
Okay, sorry. Back on topic. Amy needs good fact by fact evidence about her P which can then be supplemented with our vast S knowledge base. I’d suggest a format like this:
1a. Amy’s evidence/perception/fact/witnessed event…
1b. Concise credible quotes or links to experts (which busy authority figures will read and understand)
2a.
2b. etc..
Of course, a brief intro and summary before and after the list would be good.
And what the hell ever happened to Dr. Castillo’s judge?
Hi, I just checked into this thread before I go to bed. And this is wonderful. I have almost a whole whiteboard filled up. So now I’m moving to the next one.
I’m switching colors too, putting away the purple marker, picking up the green one. Just for some visual interest.
The late night crew is bringing in oysters, champagne and little tiny chocolate cakes. (I’ve got some money coming in tomorrow, so I put it on my card.)
Drink up and talk more about how we like to see things change. This is GREAT STUFF. Keep it coming.
Kathy
I’m also checking in before I sign off. I feel such a rising tide of resolve and agreement here.
I can wish this existed so many years ago, but my experience then makes me a ready soldier now.
May we share pre-cognitive dreams that encourae us to see the children we will rescue, the lives we can save with our caring hearts and our well-educated minds.
Good morning, brainstormers. Here’s a wrap-up from yesterday. Which hopefully will give you more ideas.
We have the beginning of a network of related actions:
* Educate the legal professionals — judges, police, attorneys
* Educate the child protectors — doctors, nurses, psychologists, teachers
* Educate people
* Seek new laws that bring personality disorder issues into the family courts in custody hearings
* Seek repercussions for judges who enable parental abuse or violence against children
These seem to be the big themes (though if they need to be broken down, they can be).
Oxy has already begun a practical list of things we need to do to get ready. These include:
* copies of the newspaper articles (xerox copies) to enclose with the letters to people.
* a “form letter” that we can all copy off and send
* address lists for specific campaigns
I would add a collection of articles or research (URLs are fine) that we think are particularly useful in explaining sociopaths in a credible way. These would include:
* descriptions of sociopathic behavior
* impact on sociopaths on community or work environments
* impact of sociopaths on children
That’s where we are so far. At minimum, I think we need more ideas to fill in these bullet points.
We may have more bullet points to add.
Again, we’re simply brainstorming here. What we want done and how to do it. There are no wrong answers, no matter how outrageous or impractical. Anything that occurs to you is good.
Finally, this may look big and complicated, but actually this is all linked very well. It’s really one thing with different facets.
So that’s really good. Anything we do in one area will support the others.
Congratulations on a fabulous first day, I’m here with my green marker. Keep it coming.