By | June 2, 2009 38 Comments

Lovefraud extra: Let’s support Sandra Boss

The kidnapping trial of “Clark Rockefeller” the psychopathic con artist who is charged with parental kidnapping is happening at the time of this writing. The defense is claiming “insanity” and attacking Sandra Boss for having fallen for his lies. A survey of internet blogs reveals public abuse of Sandra. Please add your comments in support of Sandra to the blogs, particularly this one

To watch the trial live visit:

This is outrageous,Sandra was worked over by the defense. Someone (perhaps an attorney who reads this blog) explain to us why the judge and prosecution allowed this.

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I am astounded. It’s as if SHE is on trial for being conned by someone who, the article mentions, had conned aristocracy in Europe. Clearly no one in that arena has any idea of the emotional coercion that this creep could exert. And it should be apparent that he used their daughter as a coercive tool.

If this guy is diagnosed as psychopathic, my understanding is that he is still considered to be responsible for his actions, from a legal standpoint.

Everything the guy’s attorney was saying seems to point to his PD.

Ox Drover

It is like the old “rape” trials where women were PROSECUTED and PERSECUTED and painted as “asking for it” when the guy was a stranger and had beaten them up.

If she didn’t “holler” (even though he had a knife or gun to her head) she didn’t “try to resist” so therefore “she must have wanted it.” And, God forbid she had EVER had sex except with a husband, because if she had, then she was obviously a “slut” or a “whore” and it was OK to rape them.

I’m sorry gang, I didn’t even go look at it, cause I KNOW I would be so pithed off that I would rant for days! The last trial I watched that was SO UNFAIR was the OJ trial and it broke me from watching that kind of crap! IT IS OUTRAGEOUS, and my heart goes out to this woman. I hope the judge has the fleas of a 1000 camels and the crabs of a 100 HIV infected psychopathic whores for the rest of his life, hang nails, infected ingrown toe nails, dental abscesses, hemmriods, anal fissures, holes in his ear drums, ingrown hairs on his balls, herpes outbreaks, and anything else —oh, yes, shingles attack on his eye balls and chronic stys, and when he dies, I hope there is a hot spot in hell for him, and the defense attorney too.




P.S. I didn’t watch it either for the same reason.


i.e. because I’ve been in the chair in court and I get totally PTSD


That is why psychopaths are so scary.

It is not just the lies. It is the COMPLEXITY of the lies, and their ability to weave them all together to make themselves look favorable in the eyes of the courts, or anyone for that matter.

It is always the psychopath (abuser) who looks calm, cool, collected, and “in the right”.

It is the VICTIM who is frazzled, nervous, and on the verge of a breakdown.

I’ve been reading some of the testimony the last couple of days- hurray for criminal defense attorneys. Gack. I feel so bad for her. It’s bad enough dealing with the clarity when the fog clears, but a public flogging for not instantly noticing the fog is dreadful. Everyone is a street smart socio expert who would NEVER fall for a bag of tricks when faced with someone who was conned.

If I was able to get a message to her, it would be something like, “While seemingly all the world is chastising you for having the nerve to trust someone like we’re all told to trust, there were many of us, while reading your responses, nodding our heads and uttering, ‘Yup, that’s what they sound like. Miserable Lying B*st*rds.’ Hang in there Sandy, you’re not alone.”

One of the articles I read (might be one of the ones above) printed one of her responses, which said to the effect: I’m from a world where you don’t even jaywalk- why would I think someone was lying to me?” Ain’t THAT the truth!

PS- also keep in mind that public postings, such as those at the bottom of newspaper sites, are truly public. That kind of idiocy is largely filtered out and fizzles out when it shows up places like here. The same people you avoid by not going to carnivals have access to keyboards now. Despite the internet providing nearly unlimited information at lightning fast speeds, many people are just as ignorant, uninformed, and wearing virtual purple polyester double-knit pants 2 sizes too small as before…only they are harder to avoid.

Ox Drover

Glinda!!!! YOUR PS IS GREAT!!!

BTW–what is wrong with purple polyester double knit pants 2 sizes too small? Have you been peeping into my closet? ROTFLMAO!!!!!

Well, in your case Oxy, if the matching t-shirt says, “MILF” or “Juicy” I’ll let it slide as a historical costume 😉

Ox Drover

GOSH, GLINDA! You are tooooo kind, waaay too kind to an old biddy, but actually I retired those pants when we decided on yellow and black tu-tu’s with hip wader boots for the LF party we are going to throw! You’ll recognize me, I’ll be the one BOINKING Henry over the head!!! with me trusty cast iron skillet!


Let’s keep a close eye on this trial. By my understanding, a personality disorder does not meet the legal definition of “insanity” — the professional community feels that the disordered person can distinguish between right and wrong, but chooses not to. Therefore, if “Clark Rockefeller” is a psychopath, he cannot get off on an “insanity” plea.

Matt?? I know you are doing the most important work you have in front of you, and I am glad that you don’t have a job to interrupt your time with your family. My heart goes out to you as you do this profound work of being present for your family in a time of crisis.

And when you want a distraction that will also help others, . . .

If you have a moment to look at this story and give your assessment, as a criminal defense attorney, I think we all would appreciate it. (I’m buying you a (virtual) bottle of Laphroaig in appreciation!)

I commented– and noticed a lot of well-informed folks commenting. I suspect a few of the LF gang! : ) YAY!

OK, I posted a comment there. I strongly believe that psychopaths of his caliber are a danger to society, a danger society must be protected from. Involuntary commitment to mental hospitals should be applied to them, with different rules of evidence than required in legal proceedings (but that’s another subject). Anyway, the post:

“Clark Rockefeller” is the real mccoy, a psychopath in full expression, the equivalent of an alien masquerading as a human. Whoever finds the distinctions between his DNA and the norm would win a Nobel Prize.

Psychopathic conmen/bullies move in on their victims inexorably, like rust. His aim from the start was to undermine her personality, her self trust, her strength of character. That he was willing to spend years doing this, single mindedly, is one of the traits of psychopaths. That she lost her ability to defend herself is tragic (but she did gain it back, to her great credit).


Whats laphroaig?

Ox Drover

Pathwhisperer, I went to your blog site and you have an AWESOME BLOG!!!! GREAT INFORMATION!!!! GOOD JOB!!!

You all go to his blog site and read it if you haven’t already, it is some great information!!!!!

There is also a face book group called “DARE to CARE” re domestic violence awareness that I have just joined and it is a really good site as well. I have several friends there who have recommended it to me.


Whoa! your blog IS awesome pathwhisperer! Truly amazing!

Jim in Indiana USA

pathwhisperer…I read through your blog this morning. Good stuff.

OxD, Tilly & Jim, thank you for the comments, it’s great that you consider my blog interesting and informative . If visitors keep going to my old posts, I’ll have to go back and fix some of the sloppy writing (I’m not complaining, this is a good problem).

OxDrover, thanks for sending visitors over. My traffic’s gone up. I’d also like to thank you for your posts and topics here. I’ve learned quite a lot from you.

For anyone interested, WordPress blogs ( are very easy and userfriendly. You’ll be blogging in no time.


Not a watcher of TV, this story only came to my attention thru LF, and I posted under my LF name. Saw a few friends there, cool.

Funny, this exact problem has been weighing on me for days: How do you convince a jury that a really successful woman can be taken in by one of these guys? And here she is, made more in a week than I did in a month at my best.

Because as Ms. Boss said, intellectual intelligence and emotional intelligence are different things. The whole time I was with the S, friends, colleagues, people who did work for me, all had him pegged. Only my eyes were blinded by love and always ready to believe the next lie, to give him another chance.

Maybe her lawyer needs to bring Donna in as an expert to rehabilitate her. Maybe Matt or me should be on the legal team.

Yes, I’m Out. I don’t care anymore. Victims need legal help and I’m a lawyer too. Thanks, Matt, you probably figured it out and didn’t post anything until I was ready.

This is awful!!!!



It doesn’t take ten years to discover that your husband has an anemic conscience, even if he is a clever psychopath and even if you never met any of them beforehand.

Many women truly fall in love with psychopaths and seem to be enthralled by their very lack of conscience.

They don’t really get conned. They fall in love with psychopathy.

Having a child with a gifted psychopath makes sense from an evolutionary point of view. You children, if they become promiscuous psychopaths, may well spread your own genes far more widely than if you had monogamous children.

I don’t know if there is an english translation of “L’alliance de la brebis”. The author, Gabrielle Lavallée, seems to be aware that her cult leader is a psychopath (although she has no psychological knowledge of the notion). Still, she craves for sex with him and she wants a baby.

Psychopaths exist because many women are willing to make a sexual deal with them and get a genetic lift. They may suffer as a person. But it is in their own genetic interest. It is a sacrifice in the sake of their genes.



I respectfully disagree, its obvious to all that it can take 10 minutes or l0 years to discover you are with a psychopath.

Many women get CONNED.

Many women ffall in love with the ILLUSION a psychopath helps to create in their mind with lies and charm and words and mirroring by their very lack of conscience

There is no such thing as a gifted psychopath. A dangerous psychopath is no gift. Psychopaths may spread STDS far more widely than if they were monogomous healthy beings.

It sounds as if Gabrielle Lavallee may be stuck in the infamous FOG…and caught up in the disarming and self-disconnecting ways of her cult leaders dangerous psychopathy.

Psychopaths are not just men. They are women too. They exist because they exist. It can be a genetic nightmare – sometimes.

But once you become a psychopath there really is nothing that can be said or done to change your psyche… so to each his own opiinion and view and choice in life….thanks for sharing yours too!


And what a mess when one psychopath gets involved with another. Or two personality disordered people of any type get involved sexually. That happens too.

As I mentioned on another thread, an interesting book is Freeing Yourself from the Naricissist in Your Life. She gives real life examples from history. It is possible to fall in love with one of these narcissiopaths without knowing what or who they are. I did it. And getting out is not easy if you believe in forgiving, if you believe in thinking the best of everyone, if you are very relationship committed, or worse….if you have stockholm syndrome. Poor Elizabeth Smart at first denied to the cops who she was. That can happen to ANY of us, given the right situation. Think of the poor prisoner of war, making remarks against the US. Does anyone hold that against him no matter how much he believes what he is saying at the moment? Of course NOT!

Can there be women who are a bit or a lot narcissistic themselves that without a stockholm syndrome feel “oh well, the lifestyle he gives me is worth it?”….but talk to them when they are 80. anyway, I’m sure a whole range of truths are possible….but to judge from a distance is surely hard and unfair I think.


Good posts, LTL! Great points. I hope Nicolaid takes them to heart, for his/her own education.



There are female psychopaths indeed – I have met three of them in my life – but you will rarely find testimonies of men having utterly been conned. “Love fraud” seems to interest mainly women.

The criteria that make a mate “sexy” are different for each gender. Men are more focused on the body and the signals of fertility. A beautiful body is hard to mimic, even for a genius con artist female.

On the other hand, women are more sensitive to status, resources, power and romanticism. And those qualities are quite easy to mimic for an astute psychopath: they just have to practice conspicuous consumption, forge credentials, use name-dropping, etc. Pluss the flowers to display their romanticism.

You can not easily change your body, but it takes a few minutes to launch a brand new persona.

Moreover, I sincerely think that some women, more or less consciously, turn a blind eye to the accumulating evidence that there is something wrong because psychopaths are truly very sexy. Their psychopathy is what makes them so sexy, the equivalent of the hourglass shape body in men’s eyes.

Neither genders are really concerned about conscience or morality when it comes to sexuality and mating, at least when we are young.

Psychopaths exist because so many women are volunteering to bear them a child and offer their nefarious genes another round. Of course, they don’t consciously decide to have a baby with a bastard, but they self-deceive themselves.

I am French. You may remember the story of Christophe Rocancourt who pretended to be “Christopher Rockefeller” in New york in 2001 with his thick french accent. So there were two psychopathic con men using very similar personae at the same time in New York. 🙂 Maybe others will come up later. The Rockefellers are a big family.

When he got out of jail and was expelled to France, it took Rocancourt about ten days to seduce and have sex with a former Miss France who knew who he was.

There are millions of honest men, but psychopaths will always be sexier. Honesty is dull. They had a child and he dumped her.

He has pledged several times on prime time TV Shows that his career as a con man belonged to the past. However, I’ve just read that he bilked $600 000 from a famous french movie producer named Catherine Breillat.

She recently had a stroke and she is half hemiplegic. He had to hold her forearm to help her sign the checks. Conning is hard toil.

But she really was stupid because she knows very well that he is a complete crook. He has sold piles of books to brag about his schemes and his sexual prowesses. Still, she hired him as an actor for his film and let him become her new best pal.

She said that the day she met Rocancourt was worse than the day she suffered her brain stroke. She is going to publish a book about her ordeal with her ex best friend.


Has anyone heard from Healingheart? I miss her! I hope she is busy having a wonderful life.

And Kathy, have you read Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life? the last chapter is all about “Beyond Narcissism” and is about growing inner peace and a healing stillness.

Sandra from How to Spot a Dangerous Man also wrote recently about the need for PTSD victims to create a peaceful, quiet, drama free environment.

I have been a workaholic all my life and feel myself rebelling finally! Hence I’m on here instead of working. LOL! But perhaps part of healing is really getting in touch with what is important in life. And today, being surrounded by the dogs who love me, watching them sleep, seems like the pinnacle of happiness for me today!


One more post! In the Betrayal Bond the author states that survivors “were able to transform suffering into meaning. ….They become people of substance, with no more tolerance for living in the lie. The know evil for what it is and arm themselves with rituals that keep the meaning close to their hearts. They have a high regard for that which connects, and reject all that divides or hides. Inescapable pain creates enduring honesty and accountability.”

So congrats to all of us, we come out winners!


We have plenty of men here on Lovefraud who have been conned by female psychopaths. Although you are entitled to your opinions, I recommend that you read Lovefraud thoroughly before posting any more comments. You may change your views.

Ox Drover

Dear Nicolaid,

I suggest that you go to the link here of “true lovefraud stories” and to the other articles with information about how the “bonding” works with them, how they sucker in people, and keep those people hooked even after betraying them.

Many people know the “truth” about a psychopath like Rocancourt, but the psychopaths are good at “explaining” away those truths and covering it up with a mask. Many people just “can’t believe” someone is that EVIL….denial is a “protective” emotion to help us in some cases endure what is unendurable, but on a long-term basis, it is destructive to us. It allows the psychopaths to continue their abuses.

I am the daughter of a psychopath, (but not a psychopath)and also the mother of one, and believe me if I had known the genetic risk in having children, I would have elected not to have children. One of my sons (the non-psychopathic one) has elected not to have biological children due to the many psychopaths on both sides of his family, though neither his father nor I are psychopaths, appaently the genetics are there to pass on. I support him in this decision. My P-son is in prison so has no offspring at this time, though I am sure if he ever gets out he will make every effort to spread his genetics far and wide.

While more women are on this blog than men, there is a cross section of people, ages, genders, sexual orientations, and the experiences are different, people with children, parents, loveers, husbands/wives, neighbors, bosses, etc. so everyone here for the most part is a past victim, and in the recovery stage. Some people were conned for decades, others caught on in a few weeks or months, but no one here is denigrated because they didn’t “catch on” QUICKLY.

We exercise compassion for those who were “conned” because we have been “conned” as well…we know what it feels like and can therefore validate that these men and women were not stupid or greedy and did not knowingly decide to have a child with the psychopath. In fact, some of the psychopaths that they were involved with had NO status except as a financial parasite. We are in all different stages of “recovery” and “healing” but we are all compassionate to others (whatever their stages of healing) because we have BEEN THERE.

I hope you will hang around, read and learn about psychopaths and the whys and wherefores of how people get conned and why they stay for “so long” in pain, agony and confusion, before getting out.


P’s are sexy? I guess almost all P’s think so! LOL! You can bank on that! Part of their disordered brains.

At some point, as Keith Campbell says in his book, you just lose your appetite for them. We live in a narcissistic society, now. People are busy managing their images, on facebook etc. But even there, the true narcs can’t help themselves. Keith Campbell did a study about what their fb pages have in common.

I think I’m going to write the first joke book about psychopaths. I’m serious! There is a lot about them that is very funny, like the youtube video on John Edwards primping! Pimping? Darn, it is rough being dsylexic. hahaha.


Oxy, you are on here a lot. Is HealingHearts even on here anymore? I really liked her posts.


I just had one more thought about the book “Are you being hurt by the one you love? Freeing yourself from the Narcissist in your life”…..If narcissists and psychopaths COULD heal, this is the book for them. For they are truly being hurt by the one they love (THEMSELVES)….and the only path to happiness for them, away from all the envy, the emptiness, the depression…would be if they COULD free themself from the narcissist in their life…THEM.

It also shows what a pretty much hopeless task it is.

My husband once said “If I had a million dollars, then I would be happy”. I said no, because everywhere you go, there you are.

That is a famous quote from some place, not sure where! but it is really true. I mix with millionaires and even quite a few billionaires (despite how few there are in the world) because of the work I do, and it is absolutely true. They are as happy or sad as they are, due more to how they react to a bird singing than how they react to the $$.

those who inherited great wealth are almost always more happy than those who sought to become wealthy. One is focused on the wrong gods in life.

Ox Drover

Dear JAH,

I have not seen healingheart in quite some time. During the about 2 years I have been here though, I have seen hundreds of posters come and go. There are very few of the same posters here that were here when I first came here. We have quite a few that have been here 1+ years though, and there are those that have “left’ that come back and check in once in a while or read here, but don’t post much.

Life goes on—because I am retired I most likely have more disposable “time” and check in several times most days between “projects.” Since I don’t watch much TV, I spend time in the evenings on LF some evenings.

There are many people who think/thought that money was the “salvation” of their happiness—and like you, I’ve been around some really really super rich (and/or famous) folks and you know, money doesn’t make them happy.

Look at many of the media stars who have had tremendous “success” and “money” and they ended up dead of an OD—Michael Jackson can’t be said to have led a “happy” life, and all the “stuff” and “fame” in the world didn’t seem to make him happy, ditto Anna Nichole Smith, Nichole Brown Simpson, OJ, and the list is endless….my observation about people who inherited money being more happy than those that tried to make it depends on a lot of variables.

What a person IS rather than what they HAVE is what makes people happy or not. Yet, so many people seem to think that money will ‘buy” happiness.


Thanks. I actually have drifted but keep coming back. Agree about the money. The richest person is the one who gives the most, not the one who has the most. YOU ARE LOADED! 🙂

super chic

I have been thinking about some other bloggers I haven’t seen in a while and I am wondering how they are doing… kindheart & akitameg… and others who were giving so much good advice… Rune, Wini, Stargazer… I miss them. I know Aloha Traveler posts once in a while and I look for those. Anyway, just wanted you ALL to know you are important you are to me.

healing the heart

Thank You all for missing me !
I have been healing by taking care of myself… working out, swimming and just hanging out with girlfriends..! I know my s is the lie…. and will always be the lie… just coming to terms with that… letting go of the anger… and the shame…. that comes with letting go of the dreams… he my heart…. the complete acceptance.
I am so happy for finding all of you.. its here that I let it all out… and with my friends… I say nothing.
I have learned to not give him any more of my energy, and allow him to ruin my friendships… as I learned.. people say things that trigger me all over again…. because no one really know.. the love / hate that we suffer from.. but us who has experienced it….
thank you all… and I will always be here.


I haven’t had the time to peruse the entire blog yet but I will. I didn’t mean to offend anyone and I apologize if I did.

This story (Sandra Boss’s) has similarities with Enid Green Waldholtz’s and her sociopathic husband Joseph Waldholtz.

He pretended to be a multimillionaire akin to the Mellons and had a lavish lifestyle, until it turned out he conned everyone, fleecing his own grandmother and mother, and his stepfather.

She was an intelligent and educated woman though, being a lawyer and a promising politician. She was elected to the congress in 1995 thanks to the many cons of her husband who was her campaign manager.

When people came to report oddities to her, she turned a blind eye. They had a baby girl.


Nicolaid_ If you are interested in high achieving psychopaths and what attracts people to them, why they “turn a blind eye”. a great book is Freeing Yourself from the Naricissist in Your Life.

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