When sociopaths have problems in their lives, it’s never their own fault. Donna Andersen explains why this is one of the most important Red Flags of Lovefraud.
To watch the entire Lovefraud Lessons series, go the the Lovefraud Videos page.
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I am a first time poster. I have a child with an spath. My son is now 9 and I have a 5 year old with another wonderful man who is now my husband.
My spath basically has had no contact with my older son for 6 years which has been a blessing as he is very destructive and abusive.
My problem is that I am seeing my 9 year old have this trait above. Anything that goes wrong is not his fault whether it’s fighting with his sibling, bad grade on a test, etc. it drives me crazy and scares me as this was a big thing with my ex obviously. It also is the trait that scares me as I feel need to save my son from what may be ingrained in his DNA. Any help or advice would be much appreciated.
@....... Darwinsmom,
Based on your examples you give, within your initial post, my instincts say; Do NOT go to meet with principle, unless accompanied by at least one colleague of whom you deeply trust. Principle could be disordered, or maybe I remember you already refering to her as a spath. Or you never know, she could even be an accomplice. Regarding math teacher, my instincts say; trying to mindfuck, manipulate and frame you, for sure! Same thing happened to my sister, last year. Fortunately other teacher shot herself in foot and then just like that, game over, spath was suspended, then aligations came out from other victims, including students about much worse bad behaviors. She was sued, lost her case. No more teaching career for her now. Yay! Ugn. Toxic folks everywhere these days.
Sorry, forgot to mention, Principal was co-mindfucking and manipulating with bad teacher and together, they framed other teachers, gave very bad teacher-performance reports to the district, etc. Never meet with shady Principle, alone.
escapefromaspath, there is an extremely helpful and informative article that was posted most recently, on this very subject that you are requesting advice, for. I would personally try to help, however, others here, as well as the article that I make reference to would indeed be much more helpful to you, given your particular circumstance(s). I will go search it out, and attempt to post the link here, ASAP. Best of wishes to you, and you have absolutely come to the right place for support.
escapefromspath, attached, find the link to the arlticle I made mention of. I had forgotten that it was geared toward teens and young adults, however, you may still find the information quite useful. All the best to you~
Ooops…
http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2012/09/08/parenting-at-risk-teens-and-young-adults/
Escaped from a spath – I’m very glad that you did get away from your ex, but yes, the disorder is highly genetic. You should to take steps to prevent the disorder from developing. I highly recommend that you get “Just like his father?” by Dr. Liane Leedom. You may also want to read her articles on this blog.
http://www.lovefraud.com/Store.html
Shane, thank you for the article.
Donna, thank you for the book. I will definitely check it out. This site is amazing and truly a blessing.
Darwinsmom,
I think your instincts are right. Sounds like professional jealousy. You are better at the job and more popular with the pupils and from the sounds of things more effective. I have been there and have the scars. Cover your back and behave with dignity at all times.
escapedfromaspath, my pleasure! Glad that you found the site. I am new here, as well. It truly is a blessing….