Editor’s note: The American Psychiatric Association is in the process of updating its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, which is the main reference book used by mental health professionals. Back in February, Lovefraud invited you, our readers, to complete a survey on issues related to the new DSM-5.
We will be preparing a full scientific paper on the results of the survey. In the meantime, following is Lovefraud’s comment to the DSM-5 committee, which includes the basic survey results.
To read the revised definition of antisocial personality disorder in the draft of the DSM-5, click the following link. (The working group has recommended changing the name of the disorder to “Antisocial/Psychopathic Type” personality disorder.) Also, feel free to submit your own comments to the committee. The deadline for comments is April 20, 2010.
COMMENT ON THE PROPOSED DSM-5 DEFINITION OF ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER CONTRIBUTED BY LOVEFRAUD.COM
Lovefraud.com is a website that teaches people how to recognize and recover from people with antisocial personality disorder — we use the term “sociopaths.” Lovefraud was launched in 2005 and now averages 3,000 visits per day. Our writers include a journalist, a psychiatrist and a marriage and family counselor. Readers are also invited to tell us their stories of entanglements with sociopaths. We have collected nearly 1,900 cases related to sociopaths in the community, only a small minority of whom have extensive criminal records. Most of our readers were victimized by “professional” con artists who use “love” to prey on victims and who have evaded prosecution.
Lovefraud readers have all learned about sociopaths the hard way—through being deceived and destroyed by them. Many of our readers believe that knowledge of antisocial personality disorder and the existence of people who are “without conscience” could have helped prevent their victimization. The biggest reason our readers fell into the relationships is ignorance of the personality disorder and its symptoms. Therefore, Lovefraud’s primary goal is public education.
The proposed DSM-5 definition for antisocial personality disorder is, in our view, a vast improvement over the language in DSM-IV. However, we have three concerns with the new definition. They are:
1. Although the traits described in the first paragraph—arrogance, entitlement, manipulation, superficial charm, etc.—are accurate, these traits are frequently not apparent upon meeting a sociopathic individual or early in a relationship. In a community setting, the only way a clinician would find out about the traits is through interviewing the people around the sociopath. Many of our readers tell us that sociopaths successfully con mental health professionals and the legal system.
2. The second paragraph of the definition includes the following sentence: “Their emotional expression is mostly limited to irritability, anger, and hostility; acknowledgement and articulation of other emotions, such as love and anxiety, are rare.” This is incorrect. The vast majority of Lovefraud readers have experienced sociopaths professing their love and devotion, quite convincingly. We’ve seen them cry at the thought of losing us. It is only when the sociopaths have drained us of everything they could and discarded us, that we learned it was all an act.
3. The public is extremely confused about the name and definition of this disorder. The suggested name, “Antisocial/Psychopathic Type,” only muddies the water further. From a communications perspective, it is unsuitable for educating the public about this disorder. And education is the only way of preventing more people from falling victim to these individuals.
Lovefraud conducted an online survey of our readers in order to provide evidence and documentation for our point of view. We received 1,378 responses. Readers were questioned regarding their observations of the abusive individual—78% of them identified the individual as a romantic partner or spouse. Respondents were also asked questions related to the emotional expression issue, and their understanding of the terms used to describe this personality disorder.
We are writing a scientific research paper to describe the complete survey results, which we will send to the DSM-5 committee when it is finished. However, for the purposes of this comment, we include the following highlights.
WERE OUR RESPONDENTS INVOLVED WITH INDIVIDUALS WHO FIT THE SOCIOPATHIC PROFILE?
We know from the many narrative stories we receive that our readers have been involved with highly antisocial individuals who enter relationships with the aim of predation. Respondents were asked to rate how closely the individual they were involved with matched the scale in the new DSM-5 criteria for antisocial personality disorder. Here are the results:
1. Antagonism: Callousness
Very little or mildly like that: 3.7%
Moderately like that: 14.5%
Extremely like that: 81.9%
2. Antagonism: Aggression
Very little or mildly like that: 18.1%
Moderately like that: 24.7%
Extremely like that: 57.3%
3. Antagonism: Manipulativeness
Very little or mildly like that: 2.2%
Moderately like that: 8.7%
Extremely like that: 89.0%
4. Antagonism: Hostility
Very little or mildly like that: 18.4%
Moderately like that: 24.0%
Extremely like that: 57.6%
5. Antagonism: Deceitfulness
Very little or mildly like that: 2.5%
Moderately like that: 11.0%
Extremely like that: 86.5%
6. Antagonism: Narcissism
Very little or mildly like that: 8.4%
Moderately like that: 17.4%
Extremely like that: 74.3%
7. Disinhibition: Irresponsibility
Very little or mildly like that: 15.0%
Moderately like that: 18.0%
Extremely like that: 67.0%
8. Disinhibition: Recklessness
Very little or mildly like that: 21.2%
Moderately like that: 23.5%
Extremely like that: 55.3%
9. Disinhibition: Impulsivity
Very little or mildly like that: 17.2%
Moderately like that: 22.7%
Extremely like that: 60.1%
Respondents were asked when they first noticed each of the above traits in the individual. The choices were: right away, within the first month, within the first six months, within the first year and after one year. For every single trait above, the timeframe selected most often was “after one year.”
Conclusion: Lovefraud readers were indeed involved with individuals who seem to possess the characteristics of the antisocial/psychopathic type. However, these individuals were almost always able to keep their true natures disguised until the relationship was well-established.
WAS THE ARTICULATION OF EMOTIONS SUCH AS LOVE AND ANXIETY RARE?
Following are survey questions related to the issue of love and anxiety, and the answers.
Did the individual you were involved with verbally express love or caring for you?
Yes: 85.1%
No: 11.9%
If the person verbally expressed love or caring to you, how often?
Daily: 44.1%
Weekly: 14.7%
From time to time: 24.9%
Rarely: 16.3%
After a period of time, was the person’s emotional expression mostly limited to irritability, anger and hostility, and acknowledgement and articulation of other emotions, such as love or anxiety, became rare?
Yes: 72.0%
No: 21.1%
Did the person you were involved with display charm and concern in public, but hostility and anger in private?
Yes: 84.8%
No: 12.8%
Did the person you were involved with express fear or anxiety?
Yes: 47.9%
No: 50.7%
Conclusion: Antisocial individuals do indeed express love, although they are acting. Unfortunately, it is an extremely convincing act. When asked to describe how the person expressed love, comments from the survey included:
“He used expressions of loving and caring to lure me into a relationship with him and to keep me from leaving the relationship. Therefore, he did express love and/or caring throughout the relationship, although in hindsight I know that these were calculated performances designed to fit my own needs.”
“It was the greatest game for him totally adoring, expressing love in every way imaginable until he had ”˜conquered’ and was sure of me which took some time to get me into the trap completely, but once that happened, he changed and as I became more aware of his lies, his imagination, he then found another.”
“A convincing way of expressing love, such that I was 100% sure she experienced it.”
“He would say, ”˜I only do and say these things because I love you.’ I became confused about what love really means.”
Recent news stories have included con artists like “Clark Rockefeller” who was evaluated by a psychiatrist, found to be antisocial and yet claimed to “love” his family. The judge in this case acknowledged the defendant’s “love for” his daughter, whom he kidnapped. It is our concern that if this statement remains in the DSM, the presence of professed love will be interpreted as “ruling out” this personality type.
Lovefraud recommends that the sentence, “Their emotional expression is mostly limited to irritability, anger, and hostility; acknowledgement and articulation of other emotions, such as love and anxiety, are rare,” be ELIMINATED FROM THE DEFINITION. We are concerned that if it remains, a clinician, hearing a sociopath talk about his/her love for partner or family, or his/her fear and anxieties, will fail to diagnose the personality disorder when, in fact, this diagnosis is appropriate.
In fact, people with this disorder negatively, and often tragically, affect their spouses, romantic partners and other family members. Perhaps this fact should be included in the description of the disorder.
WHAT SHOULD THIS DISORDER BE CALLED?
The public does not understand antisocial personality disorder. This is an extremely dangerous situation. Antisocial individuals are social predators at worst, and parasites at best, who live by exploiting others. We find that once a person becomes entangled with a sociopath, there is virtually no support from institutions such as law enforcement and the courts. Therefore the only way to protect the public from sociopaths in the community is to teach people what this disorder is all about, so that if they start seeing the signs, they can escape before serious damage is done.
The survey asked the following questions:
Before your involvement with this disordered individual, what did you understand the term “sociopath” to mean?
Criminal: 19.2%
Serial killer: 19.4%
Someone who was delusional: 6.4%
Person without empathy or a conscience: 19.7%
I didn’t know what it meant: 35.3%
Before your involvement with this disordered individual, what did you understand the term “psychopath” to mean?
Criminal: 15.0%
Serial killer: 51.2%
Someone who was delusional: 13.4%
Person without empathy or a conscience: 8.9%
I didn’t know what it meant: 11.5%
In your view, what term should be used to describe this disorder?
Antisocial personality disorder: 10.9%
Sociopath: 34.9%
Psychopath: 11.3%
Antisocial/Psychopathic Type personality disorder: 43.0%
Conclusion: If we are going to educate the public about this disorder, we cannot use the term “psychopath.” Probably due to mass media, most people believe that a psychopath is a serial killer. This cultural bias is simply too strong to overcome.
People are confused about the term “antisocial—”people tend to believe it refers to someone who doesn’t want to be around others, like a hermit. This is certainly not the case with the individuals we are discussing—they love being around people, although they view every social interaction as a feeding opportunity.
Although 43% of our survey respondents approved of the term “antisocial/psychopathic type personality disorder,” from a communications perspective, this terminology is a disaster. In order to educate, we need to be able to identify the individual. What do we call this person? An “antisocial slash psychopathic type personality disordered person”? The suggested term obfuscates the definition. We need clarity.
Lovefraud recommends using the second-place term”—sociopath.” The word is already in the lexicon, but it doesn’t have the cultural baggage of “psychopath” and the misunderstanding of “antisocial.” The fact that most people are unsure of what “sociopath” means gives us an opportunity to teach them. “Sociopath” is one word—a word that can be defined. Remember, in 1930, Dr. Partridge made very strong arguments against the use of the term “psychopath.” His arguments remain valid today.
This is perhaps the only disorder in the DSM where the very criteria imply victimization of others. Therefore, the need for victim and public education should be taken into consideration as the disorder is renamed and described. Perhaps professional societies such as the Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy should be consulted to arrive at a consensus name for this disorder. Then, once the disorder is officially renamed, issue a press release and actively discourage the use of other terms. Confusion was created when mainstream psychiatry had valid reasons for changing the name of the disorder from psychopathy to sociopathy, but since there was no real consensus, many continued to use the term “psychopath.” The use of multiple terms has thwarted efforts to educate people about this disorder. These many terms also give the false impression that there is more than one categorical disorder, one that is largely genetic and another that is entirely environmental in origin.
If any member of the DSM-5 committee would like to discuss Lovefraud’s findings, the needs of victims and family members, and our recommendations further, we are available.
Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com
Liane J. Leedom, M.D., contributing author to the Lovefraud Blog
How to recognize and recover from the sociopaths – narcissists in your life
https://lovefraud.com/blog/
I’m hoping I get a good bloom this year…..
I’ve got gazillions of them planted….and last year they were a weak blooming season…..
I still have about 2 feet of snow on the ground in the front of my house, so those dont even think about coming up until they get some warmth….
so It means I get about 2 months worth of major YELLOW in my yard.
My staff comes over and picks and picks….adn I ship them to my gf’s before they bloom….big boxs of them.
I love having my moroccon cobolt blue vases full of them around the house…..the fragrance is wonderful!
I love flowers…..
After the daffodils are gone…..farmers market starts and I go to the sunflowers…..then the gladiolas…..
I like flowers that last.
erinb you would love going to the green houses with me.. I buy flowers buy the flats, last week I planted about 30 flats of new guinni impatients in one clients back yard mixed in with the hosta’s and other things – I love spring and planting and making things pretty – I am very good at planting pot’s and hanging baskets I find old unusual containers and turn them into living art,,patting myself on the back here …
I’m a geranium girl myself.
They come in such beautiful colors, and they keep blooming over and over again.
Having beautiful flowers around gives me a sense of peace.
~Henry, I wish I was your neighbor instead of Toby Keith. Then I could hire you to design my planters.
rosa i just lost a loonng post about Tobys place, it is awesome..I have been planting lots of geraniums also…not for Toby but other common folk..
OxD, with regard to the “banter” of self-professed spaths, I agree 100%. Whether they are, or not, getting onto a healing site and deliberately pouring gasoline on a smoldering fire is not only juvenile as hell, but a waste of time for the rest of the members.
LoveFraud Admin, would be it be an idea to create an area where discussions of banter are contained. It happens all the time on any forum: a thread with a specific topic soon dissolves and we all get sidetracked. Please don’t let this statement leave a negative feeling. Hope you understand.
–
“WHAT SHOULD THIS DISORDER BE CALLED?”
I shared my early beliefs and knowledge with a friend who responded with ‘hang on I’ll get my dictionary’. Up until meeting a high malice sociopath (other than my disorderd sis); I’d not been victimized as strongly (according to Tim Field’s wesbite, my sis could fit the ‘wannabe’ sociopath profile. See here http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/serial.htm#Types but she crosses well into the The Socialised Psychopath / Sociopath profile.
Of course the majority of people won’t have crossed paths with a homicidal psychopath. Television covers criminal profiling, the cases are always textbook socipathic PDs, but the word ‘sociopath/ antisocial’ are not used. Programmes are hesitant to apply a formal “label”, criminal profilers and senior detectives are shy of mentioning key words, despite the fact the majority of authorities and departments handing a criminal case involving psychopathic behaviour are saying the same thing.
“Domestic abuse” also brings to mind physical beating to all. The more common kind of abuse between spouses (psychological, emotional) avoids the spotlight. The justice system seriously needs to be informed and trained in psychopathic profiling. The victims are too easily misunderstood and disempowered through stress, resources and exhaustian. In the case the victim turns on their abuser via crime (last, extreme resort), despite all the signs of abuse, trauma, the victim’s experience is far from understood among the media and justice system.
Sociopath/socialised psychopath is the phrase I felt most comfortable using. Serial bully describes them well. It is worth a little effort among LF users to take note of those posters who describe offspring/adopted children/any children on here. It offers an exclusive insight into the hallmark traits within the child’s mind, as it is unlikely they will develop into normal adults, thus they become the men/women we have all crossed paths with.
PS thank you for a great survey post; I was keen to read the results. The survey itself allowed me to view the abuse in more in a more ‘clinical’ viewpoint and was a pleasure to participate in this. I appreciate the time and effort in conducting this excercise. Your daily blog visitor stat, I’m sure is a sign that your work is always vauable. Many more people will continue to keep this resource active and visitors who visit (many years after its conception) will regard all articles and links and insight as close enough a true definition of antisocial personality disorder. [Ironicaly, I owe my abuser thanks for brining ASPD to my attention; having a career in the mental health field gives her all the necessary data of PDs. Naturally she projected onto an innocent “passer by” (me) her own disorder (when I reported her long standing antisocial behaviour!). As she resembled my S sis so much, it took one google and before me acres and acres of validation into the sociopathic dialogue, vocab and mindset.
The danger this presents is that she can educate her enablers (my family) the traits of a sociopath and apply them with me. So their education is thwarted and distorted. This would apply very much to an ‘off the scale malicious’ sociopath with strong connections in the mental health field as is the case with the one I know.
Oxy,
Actually, I haven’t asked readers not to banter with those who say they are sociopaths. I HAVE asked readers not to engage with people who are abusive or who attack others.
So far, I haven’t seen abusive comments from Douglas – unless I’ve missed them.
Of course, this is very tricky, because the abuse can be subtle. But I do remember one poster who admitted to being sociopathic – Secret Monster – who turned out to offer a fascinating look into the thought processes of disordered individuals. Several readers felt that the discussion was enlightening.
With my background in journalism, my position is to keep censorship to a minimum – as long as people are respectful. I will not delete posts that offer unpopular opinions. I will delete posts that attack others.
I understand that people are here to heal, and some may view this approach as similar to admitting a fox into a hen house. But part of healing is learning how to maintain our composure when sociopaths are in our midst. Until we can send them all to an island or another planet, that’s the world we live in, so we need to be able to cope.
Donna, I think that part of the healing/learning process might be to learn how to cope with these people, whether it’s on the interwebs or in Real Life. At some point, we have to figure out whether or not we’re going to allow ourselves to react, and it’s very simple: if it’s annoying or unsettling, then ignore it and move on. WE have to determine if we’re going to allow someone else to pour gasoline on the fire, or not, and hypervigilant moderating of any forum can really become something of a nightmare: who’s got it in for someone else? which one is just typing bullshit and which one isn’t? which one irritiates the majority of the other members? etc., etc., ad nauseum
I feel that your approach is most appropriate, Donna. I’m grown up enough to ignore stuff that might rub my fur the wrong way, especially on the internet! 😀
Donna, an interesting response. Equally reading the responses of others directed to “Douglas” for example struck me as a knee jerk reaction (trying to explain, reason with someone who claims to be one). All the while I could see a non abusive dialogue (per rules), but someone ‘stirring the pot’ in a place he/she wouldn’t find of any use (like we do), but a useful place to learn about the effects of their targets.
“Douglas” is clever with words; I think elsewhere on the forum she/he asks posters if they prefer dating powerless weak, unsucessful men when a poster makes reference to the kind of power sociopaths have over targets.
The most fascinating posts I’ve read on LF are those conducted between the forum and the individuals who astonishingly (but famously annonymously!) introduce themselves as sociopaths.
Donna, Can there be a link for Self-proclaimed Sociopaths when they come to LF and anyone who would like to engage or heal or become more enlightened or get taunted and confused by them can do so in LF’s Self-proclaimed Sociopathic page?
To view “engaging” with a self-proclaimed sociopath as healing/learning seems counterproductive. Then why is it recommended we not engage with our x-sociopaths? Its a bit confusing to me. If self-proclaimed Sociopaths are permitted to engage unsuspecting or newly recovering victims on any level at LF- be it questions or trying to give negative advice — I just dont see the purpose. The temptation for some is too great to ignore. Its not a maturity thing its a freshly wounded thing and the healing stage/process that one is in.
They dont change. They wont change. As the recent self-proclaimed Sociopath here at LF pointed out…. people here feel good from having affection from others, he feels good from having power over others.
I do understand how it can be interesting or entertaining or by some stretch “healing” to engage with self-proclaimed sociopaths (depending on the stage of healing one is in )- otherwise it becomes a slippery slope trying to enlighten a Socipath about “us” and a Sociopath trying to enlighten “us” about “them”….so wondering if there can be a place set up on the site for those who come here as Self-proclaimed Sociopaths and those who wish to engage with them. Then others who choose to can continue focusing on removing Sociopaths from their lives by NOT ENGAGING WTH THEM OR NOT HAVNG TO WITNESS IT.
Otherwise, I suppose those not interested in or those not needing to witness the conversations can simply scroll down or switch to another thread. Just a thought on how to provide an open forum for self-proclaimed sociopaths at LF while giving bloggers an option as to whether or not they would like to witness or become involved with circular conversation with Self-proclaimed Sociopaths here at LF.
Thanks for your consideration and for making this Site a place for any and all who wish to visit LF!!