I am late getting my blog done this week partly because I have been helping a crime victim get justice. I hope at some point to be able to share the entire story with you but for today I want to share part of it and not yet name the offender. The offender is in prison for kidnapping and physically assaulting (torturing) a child.
The victim’s mother provided me an official copy of the sentencing transcript where the defendant plead guilty to those crimes. He was sentenced to 3-12 years in prison. It is unclear to all of us exactly how it is determined if the defendant serves 3 years or 12 years or something in between.
The sentence of 3-12 years was handed down after the defendant and his attorney made the case that OCD caused him to torture the child. There was apparently a psychiatrist and a psychologist who diagnosed OCD and prescribed medication for same.
OCD is a mental disorder that involves obsessions or thoughts that keep replaying in a person’s mind and compulsions or behaviors that the person has to repeatedly do to reduce anxiety. For more on OCD see the US NIMH website.
Because I did not remember from my training any association between OCD and violence, I did a search and found this statement in an article summary of two cases of OCD with violent obsessional thoughts, “Both cases were characterized by preoccupation with aggressive thoughts and images, a need for reassurance that they would not act on their impulses, and a history devoid of violent or aggressive behavior.”
Nevertheless the court transcript indicated the Judge and even the DA believed the assessment that the defendant had OCD and that this played a role in his violent behavior. Furthermore they believed this to be a mitigating factor that lessened the sentence. The words of the Judge according to the transcript were, “My gut reaction in a situation where a person does not have OCD and getting treatment and so forth would be to really hammer you hard for a long, long time.”
I spoke with both the victim (who is now of age) and victim’s mother, because they wanted to understand the psychological state of the defendant. I asked them for specific examples of the offender’s behavior and verbal statements relating to both the offender’s contact with reality and symptoms of OCD and psychopathy as measured by the PCL-R. The offender was known to the victims for years and never displayed any symptom of OCD. He is your basic grandiose, charming and manipulative, power motivated psychopath who lacks empathy and remorse. His lack of empathy and remorse were apparent during his sentencing statement.
Both sources were able to give me specific examples verifying that the offender is likely highly psychopathic. There was also some evidence that the offender hallucinates and is paranoid. That evidence was provided by the victims and also by the offender’s statements during the sentencing. A psychotic psychopath is the most dangerous felon there is, want proof, check out Charles Manson.
In reading the transcript which was 45 pages long, I was struck by the observation that everyone in the proceeding seemed to be searching for an answer to the why question. Why did this perpetrator do what he did? In answering the question “OCD” they could maintain their sense of safety. The Judge said to the offender,
“I do believe that at your core you are a good person, this is just a problem you have. In the 10-15 years I have been doing this I have seen relatively few evil people come through the courtroom. Three, I believe, that were so inherently evil that everybody in the courtroom couldn’t wait to get them in the prison system because they hurt everybody they were around. And I don’t believe you are a monster and I respect your religious beliefs and hope they help you heal.”
The offender had convinced the Judge that not only did he have OCD, he was a true believer and constantly asked WWJD! And I mean this literally.
If the mental health statistics are correct and that 80% of offenders have some degree of psychopathy and 25% have the full blown syndrome there are so many sociopaths out in the world that it is likely no life will be untouched by the disorder. However, this Judge feels safe in his little bubble where he has seen only 3 evil defendants in his lengthy career.
It should be mandatory that all Judges receive an officially sanctioned educational program on psychopathy/sociopathy. That would help immunize them against being fooled by sociopaths/psychopaths and their corrupt attorneys.
Backatcha … not once, never, not at any time in my childhood years or early adult years did my caregivers or educational system ever forewarn me about the evil that exists out there in potential mates… I truly feel so STUPID about this… especially because I cant put the blame on anyone. I just WISH I had some kind of knowledge going into the adult world… I wouldnt have been so naive and trusting and seeing everyone as “good” souls. Anyway talk about “triggers” your post totally hit home with me about warning women and men and OUR CHILDREN out there to be leary with regard to accepting a mate into their lives! MAKE BETTER CHOICES AND HEED THE RED FLAGS!!! Thanks for that reminder for me to keep following up with our highschool counsellor about bringing more awareness to our teenagers!
Yes….Learnthelesson, it is hard for me to talk to my daughter, who is 24 about this. She is just too trusting and she gets very annoyed with me when I try to explain to her that some people are just not “good”, females included. Yes, some people do fit the Socio profile perfectly, while others meet perhaps the first 5 characteristics on what I refer to as the “long list”. That does not make them Socio’s, but if you can check off the first 5 as matching a person perfectly, steer clear! While nobody is perfect, we must still warn our children about the dangers that can and will ultimately change their lives. On a lighter note!…….I have always wanted a vanity license plate, so I ordered one when I had to get new tags. I am waiting patiently for it to arrive in the mail. It will read “JADID”. Another person already has a tag that reads “JADED” which was my first choice. Go figure! hahahaha My friends think I’m crazy, but I thought it was appropriate AND funny!
Dear Backatcha,
I think it is funny too! Though I actually dont’ think we ARE “Jaded” I think that we are becoming WISE and CAUTIOUS.
I was reading a book last night about horse training and the author pointed out that horses are prey animals and that their primary defense is to RUN AWAY and that anything “new” in their environment may “spook” them because the ones that did NOT spook at just about everything were weeded out of the gene pool by the predators eating them! Since man was a predator of horses and hunted them for food for 100,000 years before we domesticated them about 6,000 years ago, in some ways they still “see” us as predators, so we must over come that in training them.
Even though horses are no longer (in most places) subject to attacks from lions etc they still maintain their instincts. Humans have also been “prey animals” in the past, but now that we no longer live in caves and trees and don’t have to worry about lions and tigers preying on us, the ONLY PREDATOR FOR BOTH HORSES AND MAN IS MAN.
The horse has maintained his instincts and so have we, but we have “dampened them down” with social TRAINING just like we have trained the horses not to be so afraid of us. Our socialization starts at birth and we are trained that “there is good in everyone” (THAT’S A MYTH!!!!) and that we must “Not make a scene” or “we must not embarass someone in public no matter how outrageously they behave” and all the other “we must do so-and-so” and not “hurt someone’s feelings” and we must “put others before yourself or you are selfish” and so on and on and ON!
We are adults now, but we must RETRAIN ourselves to be cautious and to LISTEN TO OUR INSTINCTS, but because of our training, our instincts are diminished. Like for example the horse, who would view a dog as a WOLF predator, but because the yhave been trained that a dog running along side of them is “okay” they have dampened down that instinct to be afraid of wolves.
My wonoderful step father tried his best to train my instincts, HIS WERE EXCELLENT MOST OF THE TIME, about other people being “problems.” I would bring home a friend that he saw some problems with (though I didn’t) and he would calmly and sweetly tell me “Honey, that person just ‘won’t do’ ” and I, of course, would NOT listen, but before long, the person would do something that was dead WRONG and I would see he had been RIGHT. This happened over and over. He wasn’t pushy about his advice, but I eventually came to appreciate SO MUCH his instincts. HE LISTENED TO THEM TOO.
I know that my instincts are not as sharp as his, but I do know some CARDINAL SIGNS of someone who “just won’t do” and so I use the observations of behavior to “weed these creeps out of my garden of life.”
People who lie….and we know all psychopaths lie
People who steal…we know all psychopaths are dishonest
People who treat others rudely….we know psychopaths are rude when they think they can get away with it.
People who try to become too familiar TOO SOON…CAUTION with people is a good idea…
People who really don’t know me and yet want me to TRUST THEM completely…trust should be EARNED not given away.
People who do not live up to their own responsibilities and do not provide for themselves–we know psychopaths want us to provide for them something….whatever their goal is.
By observing behavior and being CAUTIOUS with trust, and withholding trust from those that show ANY of the signs of a disordered person, whether they are a BIG TIME P or just a creep-jerk, doesn’t matter. I keep them at “arm’s length” where they can’t hurt me much if any. they are the snakes I can SEE rather than the snakes hidden in the grass that rear up unexpectedly and bite me!
Backatchya – Cool license plate! Its so fun and rewarding when we do something for ourselves that feels good and doesnt really bother us if our friends think we are crazy!!! Good For You! ps. I have printed out a few Lovefraud Articles and required my daughters to read them. It seems talking to teenagers/young adults is so challenging – Ive found that by having “required reading time” they may actually start to process that its not just Mom who is going “blah blah blah blah blah”…but real life stories in the real world. Especially Kelsi’s story it really touched my eldest into being aware that not every guy is a guy with good intentions…
Oxy,
I giggled. Because right now if I so much as whispered to my middle one “honey, that friend just wont do” – I think she might become best and inseparable friends with that person…. but I do like the People list you posted..its helpful to just be able to provide her with things in writing that didnt come from my mouth… Why is it that Mom all of a sudden doesnt know what she is talking about when her kids are in the teenage years? Its like all of a sudden (in their minds) I just stopped being able to care for nurture protect …and Im like a bump on a log…during the years I can give the most to them in terms of advice and warnings.
Life is so strange that way! I guess its the independent years… maybe it shouldve been that the flashcards we use to play with as toddlers should have had “Good Guy” “Bad Guy” on them instead of “Apple” “Banana” – lol…. just rambling…just so frustrating trying to teach them anything at this age! LOL
Good point LTL, fortunately my sons do GET IT NOW in spades! But only after one was married to a P, and the other one dated a P and was engaged to her.
Young people that age are learning to make their own decisions and want to feel smart, knowledgable and independent, which is a normal stage of development and all the studies show 99.999% (made up statistic) listen to their peers more than parents! LOL I know I did at that age. Hopefully your kids will get the message in the “required reading” LF print outs!
When I was in labor with my first child, I was FURIOUS with the world in general because no one told me just how bad it was going to hurt. Ha! So once my own daughters reached puberty, I made certain to tell them the facts of childbirth and not sugarcoat them one bit. The daughters who have given birth so far tell me they were prepared for the tough, gritty reality in the delivery room.
As far as human predators go, like so many others, I did not know they existed. And so I went into relationships as unprepared as I had been in that first delivery room. Growing up, I had listened to my grandmother, mother, and other female relatives say things like “men only have one thing on their minds,” or “so-and-so is a sorry no-good leech.” But those cautionary tales were just normal life lessons, and didn’t prepare me for what was to come.
There was even a phase in young adulthood when I took to reading true crime books and giving myself chills by reading scary stories, but the things I learned from books didn’t prepare me either. I thought psychopaths were serial killers, formed only rarely, by the worst of abusive backgrounds. Now I know better, but my children had to bear the brunt of the damage from the psychopath I didn’t see, by being misused and abused. I can’t say that anything in particular could have warned me off the evil man who pretended to be everything I ever wanted. But some education about predators early on certainly couldn’t have hurt.
I’d love to see judges and DAs get some education on this subject, but more than that I agree with the previous posts about high school education. We have programs to teach young people how to handle finances, how to cook, how to take care of a baby, and how to drive. Some progressive schools even educate young women about date rape and boyfriend batterers. That sort of program should be expanded to include toxic relationships of all kinds.
And getting this sort of education into schools is a real possibility. The “life skills” framework already exists.
In the meantime, I’ve had at least 50-50 luck with this link in particular, as I continue through life, warning others where and how I can:
http://counsellingresource.com/quizzes/loser/index.html
That’s Dr. Joseph M. Carver’s “Are You Dating a Loser?” quiz. I’ve passed that one along to a couple of young people in bad situations. One understood right away, but another didn’t, and eventually married the loser in question. All the information is presented in such a nonthreatening and accessible way. It’s a good way to start a conversation.
Oh yes…Tood.. that link is AWESOME! I think it was James who got me hooked on Dr. Carvers articles…Its been a while tho, so I should def get some of my “required reading” for my kids from that link too!
And I hear you about the tough, gritty reality in the delivery room!!! I never curse and apparantly I cursed at my OBGYN with my firstborn – because after pushing for hours he said Is that that best you can do? Im disappointed! (In an effort to not let me give up!:) Well…I let him have it with all my might and voice…and low and behold she arrived ! We still laugh about it… He said it was the first time a Mom cursed at him!!! And I must add, I remember the ensuing week, of healing and nursing while taking a sitz bath and all the “aftermath” of my stitches healing in the most awkward of places and the breast soreness etc….I remember turning to my sister who had not given birth yet and said “SOMEONE NEEDS TO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT THE 1st WEEK AFTER HAVING A BABY” and what to expect, because it was nothing AT ALL like I expected! LOL
Re: Educating our teenagers. Our highschool is open to discussions about how to proceed and build the proper forum – but there is concern about labeling and isolating some. Looking forward to following through with it in the fall!
And hopefully Dr. Leedom is making progress with the Judges and DA’s getting some education on the subject too!
Oxy,
In going through recent posts I havent seen any from IndianaJim…I havent been able to catch up in a while tho…just wondering if he mentioned how he is doing and if things were getting better with all the chaos he came across. If theres any update I missed, please let me know. Thanks.
Otherwise, Jim, check in soon when you can! Thinking of you and all those flags over your way that werent part of the Indy 500!! xoxo
Last night was the first time I didn’t attend a back-to-school night, in the past 20 years. My ex N/S who’s been uninvolved in our children’s lives, suddenly decided to get involved; not with the kids, as much as with the appearance of being an involved parent. The kids are outraged that he gives more energy to the appearance of “involved” then he cares to put forth in the actual realtionship.
Today, when my 15 year old daughter went to school, she had several teachers comment…”Oh, I met your Dad. He’s really nice.” My daughter described feeling suddenly weak, helpless, nervous, anxious, and angry all at the same time.
When she responded, “You see, I don’t have anything to do with my Dad.” These well meaning teachers (like well meaning judges) kept singing his praise. One of them, proceeded to lecture her about how much her father cares about her, and how lucky she is that he’s so dedicated to her.
Even when my daughter repeated herself, they didn’t get it. And, spoke to my daughter, as if she were ungrateful, to not realize how lucky she is to have such a dedicated father.
She finally said, “I don’t spend any time with my Dad. He abused me, my brother’s and my sisters. He cheated on my Mom for most of their marriage. He is constantly dragging my Mom back into court, telling the court that we want to spend time with him, and my Mom isn’t letting us. The truth is… We HATE him. He knows nothing about who I am, or what I do. He doesn’t ask me about my education, my grades, my sports. He could care less. He’s only came to the school, so he could make my teachers believe he’s an involved Dad. He wants the world to believe he’s a great Dad, more then he wants to actually be one.” Then she broke down, sobbing.
What worries me is that I’ve introduced myself to her teachers, every year, communicating with them, several times a year, and never once has any of my children’s teachers commented… “What a nice Mom you have.” My ex N/S shows up one time; making such a big impression, the teachers perceive that he’s a wonderful father.
After my daughter made known how she feels about her father, the two teachers that really pressed her about how wondeful her father was, immediately felt her pain, and shared that they had father’s who were all about appearences also; offering my daughter support, compassion, and an open door, should she ever want to talk. I just wonder why they didn’t pick up on my daughter’s immediate reaction to their praising her Dad. She didn’t smile, get excited, blush…she went pail, felt sick, and disoriented. Why didn’t they see this, when they had similar experiences?