Two Lovefraud readers have created animations related to their experiences with psychopaths. They’re posted on YouTube. Take a look—you’ll certainly be able to relate!
But I love you—daily psychopath talk
By Openeyefilms
Be a warrior NOT a psychopath
By Sarah Strudwick
hey ana.. thank you for posting that. I really enjoyed it… so beautiful.
Hi Dancingnancies,
Glad you enjoyed it! It’s nice to see/hear something pleasant : )
Ana,
thanks for the post, BF and I enjoyed the scenery.
I just now came across the site while in the process of realization that I am most definitely involved with a sociopath. After a tumultuous 5yr relationship, I finally got out, & and believed after 2yrs apart I was finally over him. Unfortunately, he decided Now that He cant live without me & has changed, accepting all the blame for what happened between us. I, mistakenly decided to give him a second chance, only to find out hes not only everything I thought he was but so much more evil than I couldve imagined. I am now struggling to remove myself from the relationship, but it is an addiction, & his poison is still paralyzing me….I am finding so much out on this website, helping me realize it Is Him, not me. So I hope this will be a useful tool this time, in getting away from him for good.
Jennicat, welcome.
I’m sorry you encountered one, but glad you’ve turned the corner.
Since the spath still has control of your emotions, you need to be aware that you will have cognitive dissonance. When he is nice to you, your emotions will tell you that he must be human, even though you know that he isn’t. This is why it’s so hard.
Is it possible to go no contact? If not, the best strategy is called gray rock: bore him. be so boring that he goes away. Show no emotion, none, zero, zilch. Show no happiness, or enthusiasm, don’t smile. Show no anger, fear, or stress. Be expressionless. Don’t let him know what’s important to you, don’t express to him how he has hurt you. No matter what he says or does, say you don’t care.
Jennicat:
Sorry to hear you got sucked back in. You were two years without him and then BAM. Don’t beat yourself up about it…we all have done it multiple times. It amazes me how we think they have changed only to find out when we go back we just get more of the same crap. Listen to Skylar and go no contact. Today is exactly two months I have not talked to mine. Seems like an eternity, but I am better for it.
The “Gray Rock” thing is funny! I think I did that without realizing it and that’s why he dumped me! HAAAA!!!! I am very attractive and all that and exciting in bed, but I am quiet. I don’t talk a lot or tell a lot about myself. He was the one who just talked and talked all the time. I think I was too boring for him. He ran straight back to the naughty, exciting tramp!
I love the gray rock! I have been doing that too, without even realizing it. It was kinda just a mask to protect myself from him seeing how I felt of thought, and then using it against me. But now, I see that it actually does work. Remember, fear attracts attack.
setfree:
Too funny, yeah??? I can’t believe we were doing it and not even realizing it! We were obviously doing it subconsciously to protect ourselves and it worked.
Yep, I did it too, for years and years, I would meekly not react to his jabs. I felt like I was walking on eggshells. Still he could keep pushing until the drama broke out. It’s what he wanted and he knew that by doing outrageous things, he could push until I reacted.
Then I met a man in a sushi bar and out of desperation, started to tell this total stranger about the bizarre behavior of my spath. This man explained that I was with a malignant narcissist and if you leave him he will stalk you. I knew this was true because I’d left him a few times before and he always convinced me to take him back. In fact, when I left him, I would do it when he was gone, because I instinctively knew I’d never get out otherwise.
So this man explained that he had also had a malignant narcissist for a father and then ended up with a girlfriend who was the same. They are both lawyers and she was a high powered attorney who would come home after work and be abusive. He knew that leaving her would create stalking and possible damage to his career, so instead he bored her away.
He guaranteed this would work and sure enough, after I left the spath, I went NC (mostly). I controlled all contact and never allowed myself to display drama. He eventually slithered away. I have no doubt he still plots and plans against me. How could he not? It’s been his habit for 25 years, I’m sure it wouldn’t be easy to give up. But I know that he knows, that I know what he is. I think that helps.
Hello LF,
HELP. In major need of moral support.
Some of you know my saga of 3-year-effing long separation and 2-year divorce process.
I can’t take the waiting and uncertainty anymore. It’s psychological torture! Last pre-trial court hearing was in Nov, when supposedly court wouldn’t let us leave w/out setting a trial date, to force us to settle before that date.
It is now SIX EFFING MONTHS later and no agreement. He’s using every opportunity to sadistically prolong the process, not agree to ANYTHING at all, take advantage of my in the financial split, while mooching off me on joint med insurance/car insurance etc. that’s frozen by automatic court orders that don’t allow any changes in any joint coverages. I pay for it all, he won’t reimburse me or pay his share effing creep.
I emailed lawyer that I’m ready to set a trial date to put an end date to this torture one way or another. I am ready to sign off on a very unfair and screwed up agreement just to get him out of my life forever. If he still doesn’t want to sign, then f*ck him, I’ll put control in judge’s hands rather than his so he can’t play effing games any more and do a Snoopy dance by just tormenting me and keeping me his captive by not divorcing me.
I feel so furious and helpless at the same time–not sure how to shake the “victim” role that by endless delays he somehow has control over my life still, from a distance. I hate the feeling. Thus I want to just sing off and give him a ton of money or whatever it is he wants and make him be GONE GONE GONE GONE GONE!
I feel if I actually did go to trial he’s get off major, because he has nothing to lose. He’s already lost, and the only joy he can hope to have is to mentally torment me and keep me in suspense and fear.
So wonder if anyone has had the experience of a divorce TRIAL with an effing SPATH who love the arena of conflict and the spotlight to play up their victimhood for the world to see.
If I DON’T set the trial date, then I can’t hold him to sign or finish the effing divorce by a set date. He has delayed six months past the pre-trial hearing already, and there is NOTHING to stop him from delaying and just not responding at all–ENDLESSLY.
ANy experience with similar sadistic f*cked up twisted games in divorce context, lend a supportive ear and/or advice.
Thank you. DW