Editor’s Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call “Mary Agnes.”
I married a Narcissist and am SO glad we are not together anymore!
It took stupid love-blind me a few years to work out what my Narcissist-ex husband was doing. In short, he was stealing money from my family wealth over the years and giving it to his mother to spend on first class travel, cars, paintings, clothes, etc.
I spoke to a psychologist who informed me that it was likely that his mother and he were both narcissistic personality disorders, plus he was co-dependent on his mother.
He stole to feed his mother, both of them without empathy. In fact, his mother was really nasty to me the whole time she was getting him to steal from us.
Anyway I was in hospital at the end of our relationship — for an unrelated condition. I was very sick and in ICU for four days. In total I was in hospital for six weeks.
I never saw him.
He decided while I was in hospital to leave our kids and take a trip to Hong Kong for his 40th birthday to the Peninsula Hotel (one of the world’s best).
I was too sick to cancel our credit cards and block him off my account.
He racked up 10,000 partying for his birthday while his kids were left with a nanny and their mother was very sick in hospital.
He is a true pig.
He has another girlfriend now and she doesn’t believe any of it.
In fact he has told her that I ripped HIM off, because I kept the house. The fact is, the house was NEVER his. It always belonged to my family for generations.
He just acted like it was and like he was the rich one who earned all that money.
He did not. He is a fraud in every part of his life.
It’s all about his image — his clothes, his car, etc. The same with his mother and they will stop at nothing to get it.
I am tempted to put his name but I won’t. He is very good looking and SEEMS charming, funny etc.
But he has no substance.
Mary Agnes – what a terrible story. I’ve heard of many cases in which sociopaths tag-teamed their targets. Those situations show just how cold and heartless these people can be.
Wow. Except I wouldn’t assume that the writer’s hospitalization was “for an unrelated condition.” There is no such thing as an “unrelated condition.”
Confession: I logged in only to share the following link, because it reminded me of both health problems caused by suppressing emotions and the lack of “substance” so often described here.
The repeated question: How do these people mimic substance so well? Restated: How are WE conditioned to view their act as having substance? Even better: What part of our emotions are we not accessing and expressing, providing that opening for manipulation, that je-ne-sais-quoi charisma that works inside our blind spots and looks like love? You can’t trust a gut instinct if you can’t feel it in your gut to begin with.
It is tempting to use the video’s five steps to “fix” the relationship. Instead, emotional groundedness might reveal the true colors of the people before us. I am well aware that a skilled spath might find a way to fake even that — but when the process of getting in touch with ourselves attracts more positive and constructive people, the spaths will look even uglier against that backdrop.
What do you think? xoSisterSister
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0wAs-u4A2E
Thanks SisterSister – this expresses some really interesting concepts.
I know a likely sociopath who left his pregnant wife in the hospital and bedridden while he ran up her credit card taking his mistress on vacations, all while his wife was paying for his graduate school.
Their level of disregard is stunning.
Spath horror stories. Try to imagine this man. A man who left his wife after she had extensive cancer surgery and spent a month in Australia while she does not even know if she will live. Then he came back, hired a moving van and robbed the house while she was at work. Then he filed for divorce. That was his third wife.
He did the moving van to me and his children too and cut off the phone when there were his little children in the house and no cell phones.
Their level of disregard is unimaginable to a normal person.
That is someone who doesn’t even know how to act in their own interest. Sooner or later, what’s left of their youth and good looks will give out, and no one, not even their children will have anything to do with them.