Lovefraud’s newest contributor is living the nightmare scenario. She met someone who she thought was a talented, successful businessman, because that’s what he told her, and that’s how he behaved. This man promised to make her dreams of a loving family come true. She had a child with him—and a few days after she gave birth, she fled with her infant, fearing for her life.
This woman believes the father of her child is a dangerous psychopath.
The woman is writing under the pen name of “Cappuccino Queen.” She cannot be identified. She’s already received death threats. She needs to stay alive to protect her child. She is truly worried, because at least one woman who was involved with the man is already dead.
Cappuccino Queen will be writing from inside the custody battle. She isn’t an “expert” offering advice; she is a front-row witness to the insanity of our country’s judicial system, where judges grant unsupervised visitation to disordered individuals because the child hasn’t been abused or assaulted. At least not yet.
So Cappuccino Queen may have more questions than answers. Many Lovefraud readers have already travelled the arduous journey that she is just beginning. So if you have any suggestions for her, please post them as comments to her articles. Even if you can only offer kind words, the moral support of the Lovefraud community will mean the world to her.
Cappuccion Queen starts writing for the Lovefraud Blog tomorrow. Please welcome her warmly.
Dear Queen,
Welcome to LoveFraud, and thank you for sharing your story and your journey. I know for a fact that there are others here who read (if not post often) that are in the same life and death batle in custody and being stalked.
Welcome to LF and I hope that you and they can help and support each other in a manner that only someone who is living with it day to day can.
I have no idea what it would be like to be fighting my X for custody and visitation with my child and still some how keep my sanity. I can’t even imagine it.
God bless you and keep you safe as you share here on LF.
Thank you both for your kind words. I am so happy to have the opportunity to share my story here on lovefraud. I am also very grateful to have found my way to this site. Learning that there were others out there who have suffered similar types of terror at the hands of a sociopath has been a life saver. Like Donna said, I am by no means an “expert” on this. I have, however, learned a lot about how truly flawed our legal system is and I am still fighting for my life and the life of my baby boy.
I can’t type your wonderful ID, so it’s CoffeeQueen, here from me.
Thank you for your courage and determination. The legal system is, indeed, flawed – and I am so very, very sorry that you’re in hiding and in such fear.
Brightest and most protective blessings to you and your baby boy….
CoffeeQueen works – I’ll take it. 🙂 Thanks for your kind words.
I have also been through a custody battle with my ex who I believe is a sociopath. Eventhough, I have sole physical and legal custody and we are in a Supervised Visitation Exchange Program I still worry about my daughter’s wellfare. He currently lives in a motorhome with his teenage daughter from a previous relationship whom I believe is a sociopath too. He conned his way to getting 65,000 of free legal services from an attorney Neal Olesker in Va. Until I wrote the bar association which did not apply sanctions to his lawyer I was harassed and spent 20,000 in custody court. Although the bar association obviously read my complaints because it was reviewed for about 5 to 6 months. Before that I received nasty letters and emails from his attorney almost weekly.
When I met this sociopath……..I was down on myself dealing with a personal problem and I thought he was the answer to my prayers. He quickly wanted to be engaged and was living in a house at that time. He told me he was going to remodel this house for his friend and that is why he got to live there rent free. Little did I know he would in the future damage this house and refuse to move out of it and took it to court supported by the same lawyer. He left a mountain of trash in the backyard for the owner to clean up.
Even when I asked him why not remodel your own house? He had vague answers of wanting to do something nice for someone ………….to having to pay for legal services.
Before this occurred and he was on his good behavior he told me he was going to get custody of his two other children. He did the pity play and said how horrible his ex was and I took it hook line and sinker being a Special Education Teacher at the time.
He also said he was going to remodel a house in West Va……for a handicap man who was conned into signing over the deed to his land. He had me out there clearing the land and doing hard labor for the “handicap man” little did I know he had no intention of letting the man live there.
The first time I saw his mood swings was when I had worked 8 hours a day with children that suffer from Autism to come over and help him with his children and running his chores. We were checking out of the grocery store and I put something on the conveyer belt not to his liking. He scolded me like a child in front of everyone it was a couple days after we had been sexual for the first time and I was so inwardly upset. Although I was embarassed …….because we were engaged I already announced to my family and friends I found my true love. However, it was like he forgot he went off on me and had no remorse or memory.
I know I have gotten a little off track but I wanted to tell you a bit of my story. We are still in court I am asking for a protective order currently ………. This sociopath continually tries to find ways to control me or upset me. What I have to say is DOCUMENT……..all dramas occurances …………..vague responses. My sociopathic ex is a master of court ……………..and he is starting to get a reputation of that. Copy the criminal history………mine has 21 judgements and leins ………….and a habitual felony offender record and has been an illegal detainer 8 times. At court they try to overlook that because the sociopath is a parent. Attach the records anyway……..someone will be savy enough to read…………god bless Donna Anderson her videos…..are wonderful……….but I am learning the hard way… I love this site………..and I will post more as I learn. I am willing to do surveys and interviews.
Tenta33,
I think I have said this before…but your story, too, sounds familiar. I don’t know why I keep being amazed that these people do similar stuff all the time. It is like there is a secret sociopath society and they meet to share stories about how they were able to torture us so that they can all be on the same page.
I have been at this custody thing for only a year, but one of the most frustrating things is that Family courts just love giving criminal parents 1 billion chances. Sometimes I wonder if people would even do half the horrible things they do if they really believed they would be held accountable for what they have done.
My ex had also been through a custody case before. He knew what he could get away with and he is an expert at coming into court and talking about how even though he didn’t do what he was accused of (even when there is proof), that he has changed and is a new man and ready to be a great role model.
When asked if he felt he was a good role model, my ex responded by saying, “I have never been convicted of any crimes – so yes, I am a great role model.” I wanted to fall off my chair laughing about how low the bar really was. But even if he had been convicted, it sounds like the court would just keep giving him chances.
When are the courts going to understand that these people don’t learn and they don’t change. EVER!
Keep your head up. Unfortunately, like many of us, your situation will probably get worse before it gets better; however, many people who have been at this for longer than me have told me that he will eventually mess up and as long as you are there to document it and expose the mess up…things will get better.
Dear Capuccinoqueen,
Remember to stay calm, no matter what is happening when you are in view of the sociopath.
Dont give him any clues to your emotional state.
Dont react.
I found that by appearing unruffled, I threw my soicopathic ex husband off balance and he could not read me, to enable him to play games with my mind.
They are lost if they cannot read you.
It takes a lot of practice to act calm and emotionless, but is well worth the effort.
In Court always keep the Welfare of the child as your main objective, in EVERYTHING YOU SAY.
He will expect you to be a spitting hissing tiger defending her cub, but if you appear calm and adult, and in control of yourself/emotions and asking the Court to consider the child’s welfare as paramount, instead of attacking your ex, it will come across better.
Then his lawyer cannot try to brand you as a vindictive liar.
GOD Bless you and your child, I hope all goes well for you.
Been there, done all that.
Amen Zoey
Dear CappuccinoQueen, I am 9 years into a custody battle… Here is my best advice: get the best dang lawyer you can afford. If you pay sooner, you’ll spend less overall. And I agree with the others: document, stay calm, and always talk about what’s best for the child. If you have to deal with the ex: only talk about the child. If he gets off topic, ask if there is anything else about the child. Then say, I gotta go. Don’t speak to him about Anything but the child…think of all other info as narcissistic supply &/or weapons to use against you later. Tell him only what’s absolutely needed and stop. Chances are that you tend to give too much, so consider what’s necessary in advance. If you pray, pray often. Prayer saved me & has led me to turn all the ex’s weapons into blessings.