Dr. Delroy L. Paulhus and his colleagues ran experiments to study “everyday sadists” people who enjoy inflicting pain on others. According to this article in the New York Times, “Psychopaths want to get things from people and don’t care about hurting them to do so,” Paulhus said. “Sadists look for opportunities to hurt people, and prolong it for their own pleasure.”
‘Everyday sadists’ among us, on NYTimes.com.
Well I can answer the question “why some people are chronically mean” because they are Sociopaths who have no feelings for others. If you lack the most basic human emotions then you are left with no choice but to be chronically mean…ask any of us on this site. Sociopaths are chronically mean because that is the ONLY emotion they have.
So, we were appointed a GAL (guardian ad litum) back in May 2012. She met with my s/p ex 3 times before she met with me. On our first meeting she told me , and I quote “We’re all sociopaths, we all lie”…This GAL, who is supposed to be advocating for the kids, has refused to speak with the pediatrician about the abuse my kids have reported to her on several occasions, not to mention the serious physical manifestations that have surfaced because of the emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse they have been subjected to for years by their father and step mother. The GAL goes into court and blatantly lies and no one questions her. When does this crap end and the s/p falls into his own pit that he dug. I have no faith in the judicial system and have spent well over $250,000 defending myself and my kids from the accusations and lies. Can someone please give me some words of encouragement. I mean, everything unthinkable that could happen in this case that has persisted for 8 years has happened. When do these people exhaust themselves or when are they finally exposed because I can not depend on the courts for justice by any means.
HGG522 -I am so sorry for this misery. I endured years of court battles with my ex husband as he fought tooth and nail to get my young daughter away from me for NO greater purpose than to NOT pay monthly child support.
Sadly, many in the “business” – attorneys, judges, therapist and whatever the hell a GAL is in your world are sick individuals that enjoy watching you suffer.
I considered fleeing the country at one time with my children. I went to EVERY court battle and thank God had FEMALE judges that saw the sickness of my ex husband. He NEVER got my daughter and ended up divorcing the second wife that used to show up in court with yellow post it notes on her “notebook” of evil.
God help you. When do they stop? Never. It’s a game that is fueled by money and sickness. The only thing I could do was to show my children love and what “sane” looked like.
Today, I have two young adult children that are compassionate human beings. Don’t give up ever. Stay the course and love your children. Justice will prevail – if not here, then in the hell where ALL of these people will end up. Peace to you.
hgg52, I truly feel your pain as I have also endured eggregious actions of the system. Through in-depth research of sorts, I just learned that the GAL in my case had affidavits filed against her determining probable cause for “check deception” not once but twice, low and behold the Judge in both cases just so happens to be the same one assigned to mine. The Judge believed this individual (the monster bordering sociopath as far as I’m concerned) involved in “deception” and discounted tangible evidence I provided to support every allegation cited against my ex. The GAL lied about everything and suppressed evidence including death threats to which my ex pled “guilty” he was serving a 6 month probation sentence during change of custody. To add insult to injury, I was subjected to unwarranted Psychological evaluation and supervised visitation, because “you cannot let the murder for hire incident go.” I have not seen my 3 children for the past 7 months, he allows them to speak to me 3 times a week if I’m lucky. Reprehensible actions such as these are inconceivable yet no one seems to care. See for yourself… http://pharostribune.com/local/x488883084/No-charges-in-murder-for-hire-plot
http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-638722
Good luck to those dealing with the so-called “justice” system, serving up one injustice after another banking on no one noticing. My First Ammendment Right to Freedom of Speech grants me the capacity to share my story and till the last breath I take, I will continue to do so for the sake of my children and victims such like myself.
Do the community a favor and hit the SHARE button. Peace b with u
I agree with kataroux,the reason some people are chronically mean is they do not have humane feelings for people or animals…even bugs!
Spath wants to convince everyone that the reason for his actions during our marriage is “mental instability”.If that’s the case ,the problem goes waaaaaaaaaay back.He was just plain mean as a child;provoking conflict among family members all the time and being cruel to pets.
I’ve known people who are truly mentally ill or considered “mentally unstable” and other challenged people who still love to the best of their ability;and their pets aren’t afraid of them!
I think there is a difference between people who inadvertently hurt people because they are extremely insensitive and those who look for opportunities to inflict pain on others and delight in it. I also think there is a spectrum. I believe this spectrum extends even to sociopaths. I don’t know if all sociopaths enjoy causing pain as their main motive – “main motive” being the operative phrase. I think some just want stuff – sex, money, and power, for instance – and they don’t care if there are casualties. There is a difference in that and deliberately hurting someone to delight in the reaction. The sociopath I dated didn’t actually enjoy the suffering he caused me through his pathological behaviors. Hurting me was not his main motive. Rather, he did not understand my reactions because he had no real empathy. He would lie to get what he wanted, but he had no real understanding of how lying hurt me. In fact, if someone were to lie to him, he’d think it was completely normal.
Amongst non-sociopaths, I believe there are also sadistic tendencies in many people, and the tendencies fall along a continuum. Someone posted a video on my reptile forum of an experiment they did. In the experiment they put a large rubber snake in the road where people were driving and could clearly see it. The experiment was also repeated with a fake turtle. In both cases, the animals looked real. He wanted to see if anyone would try to avoid running the animal over or even stopped to help. Here is what he found: 97% actually deliberately ran the animal over! Some sped up to do it! This was shocking even to me who is all too familiar with the general hatred of reptiles, because I own two of them. I mean, I am phobic of spiders, but I still try to rescue them when I can. And when I kill them, I feel really bad about it. I certainly don’t enjoy it.
I don’t know at what point insensitivity toward the suffering of insects, mammals, and other living things becomes sadism.
I had 4 socios and they all fill the criteria for sadist.
Ugh!
No, there is NO difference. I think we are splitting hairs on evil. Some folks will do ANYTHING for that new book or new lecture.
Please, stop it. We all know better, don’t we???