By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)
I recently read this article in the New York Times about Lance Armstrong. Armstrong is a world famous cyclist and well known “do-gooder” with his “Live Strong” website, which purports to tell others how to “Live Well and Live Strong.” Armstrong is a survivor of cancer. Testicular cancer is a “young man’s” disease and one that I sought to teach my college-aged patients about when I worked as a director of student health. I also have a close friend who is now a middle-aged man who is also a survivor of testicular cancer. It is a horrible disease.
Details of doping scheme paint Armstrong as leader
It has been rumored for years that Armstrong was “doping—”using stored blood for reinfusion before races and/or taking drugs. Only now is the vast amount of evidence coming out about just how prevalent this was for not only Armstrong, but for his teammates as well.
One of the things that stuck out in the article to me was the following quote:
But the evidence put forth by the antidoping agency drew a picture of Armstrong as an infamous cheat, a defiant liar and a bully who pushed others to cheat with him so he could succeed, or be vanquished.
I can’t say from what I know about Armstrong’s vigorous narcissistic self-promotion as a “philanthropist” and a “do-gooder,” or from the above quote, that Armstong is a psychopath. But I can say that if the above quote accurately describes him as a cheat, a defiant liar and a bully, that Armstrong is displaying some of the traits that we know are found in a psychopath’s behavior.
People who lie, cheat and bully are not the kind of people that we want in our lives. It is unfortunate when people who hold themselves up as role models for others, and for our young people, actually lie, cheat and bully those around them. Yet they are seen as “successful role models” for our young people.
Jerry Sandusky
Jerry Sandusky also held himself up as a role model and philanthropist, as well as a person of high morality. He was still a defiant liar as he was sentenced this week after being convicted of sexual abuse of multiple young children.
Sandusky gets 30 to 60 years for sexual abuse
“His statement today was a masterpiece in banal self-delusion, completely untethered from reality and without any acceptance of responsibility,” said Joseph E. McGettigan III, the lead prosecutor. “It was entirely self-focused, as if he, him, were the victim. It was, in short, ridiculous.”
Judge Cleland deemed Mr. Sandusky’s statement “unbelievable.”
Of course Armstrong’s “crimes” were not probably as damaging to our youth as Sandusky’s were to his victims. The point is that people who are high in disordered traits lie in the face of evidence against them. Dr. Robert Hare says psychopaths will “lie when the truth would fit better.” The lie when the evidence of their behavior is unequivocal.
Covering up
I could go on and name hundreds of media heroes who have been brought down from the heights of fame and fortune by having their bad acts and their highly psychopathic behavior exposed. The shame I think, though, is that there are way too many people who are in the limelight whose behavior is known among those close to them, just like Armstrong’s and Sandusky’s behaviors were known. Yet those people kept silent about it.
Why are people who know about such horrific behavior as the rape of young boys (such as Paterno knew) willing to sacrifice honor (at the very least) to protect a football program, or a racing team, or a priest who is abusing children? I wish I knew the answer to that, but I don’t.
What I do know, though, is that there are too many times that I have kept my mouth shut ”¦ kept the family secrets, or even lied to cover them up. So I, too, am guilty of covering up for those that have done evil. But I have made the decision to never again do so.
Athena:
Yeah, “projected” is the key word here…it was all fake. I don’t know…so confusing. Part of me thinks there was good in there and part of me thinks he was just evil as hell.
Looking back, I don’t think I really saw any “good.” By that I mean all the qualities that we as humans see as good, he did not or does not have. He is not selfless or helping or compassionate or any of those things. I was drawn in by his funloving, playful attitude. He’s physically adorable. And the soft voiced English accent was hypnotic…literally. He put a spell on me. And his physical touch was really something and I have to say, the best kisses in my entire life. Sexually, he left a lot to be desired so that really wasn’t a huge draw, but because I was in love with him and addicted, I wanted the sex even if it wasn’t satisfying. I was hooked. It was his goal.
Other than that, I don’t know what to say.
Louise, the exspath used to make all manner of claims of “helping” people that I never actually witnessed. At one point, “we” were donating food to a local animal shelter and, for whatever reason, this stopped.
They do what they believe is necessary to support their assertions that they are “good people,” but the exspath couldn’t ever commit on a long-termed basis. Committment to any cause was an impossibility for him. He simply could not do it. He could make the show for a little while, but he could never truly be “involved” in whatever it was. In essence, he was utterly selfish in his motives, no matter HOW altruistic they might have appeared.
Louise, what you were in love with was the illusion. That’s all. Same with me – the exspath isn’t particularly attractive, nor is he witty. He can read, absorb, and regurgitate information, but there’s no discussion that’s originally HIS. I can clearly remember asking him direct questions in an attempt to engage in deep discussions, and he simply could not – could NOT – get down into his soul and speak an original thought or feelings. Since he has no soul, this truth follows the fact that spaths are not original. They simply reflect what they think their targets want and/or need.
Brightest blessings
Truthspeak:
Thank you. It was an illusion. He, like yours, is not capable of anything long term except his marriage and his job and I believe those two are only because he “has” to do those things. He has been at the same company for at least 20 years…maybe more. Mine is a master of doing only what he needs to do to get by and whatever that something is, he will do it.
Louise, exactly. And, the long term entanglements (job, marriages) are simply a means to an end and NOTHING MORE. They just “go through the motions” of life, but they are not “living” or “experiencing” anything meaningful.
Truthspeak:
Amen to that! A means to an end. Interesting comment he made regarding his job. He had a DUI and didn’t want to get another because if he got another, he would probably go to jail. He said to me, “If I go to jail, I lose my job and if I lose my job…” He trailed off just like that. A means to an end. If he lost his job…well, we all know what that would mean. Wow.
“His statement today was a masterpiece in banal self-delusion, completely untethered from reality and without any acceptance of responsibility,” said Joseph E. McGettigan III, the lead prosecutor. “It was entirely self-focused, as if he, him, were the victim. It was, in short, ridiculous.”
Great statement. Describes sociopaths to the letter when you stand there and listen to them as I did over the weekend when my sociopath helped me work on my house and told me (the discarded one) how it was my fault because we had such a bad past history with all my anger over his cheating and devaluing. He was also telling me proudly about his new girlfriend who is giving up her job in Seattle with microsoft after many years to move 2000 miles to live in the same town as him. She only met him 2 months ago. He must have “lovebombed” the heck out of her. I feel so sorry for her but he has discredited me so badly that I can’t warn her. All of his friends think I am the crazy one.
It also would be so easy for her to do a check on him and maybe recognize a red flag. All she has to do is google him. I put him on a couple of websites. Wish someone had done that for me.
I read most of the Armstrong report yesterday via the NY Times.
Whatever Lance wanted, he got. He got the team doctors he wanted, the team director he wanted, the riders he wanted. And they had to follow the “program” to the letter or they were out.
One of the cyclists began riding to escape his father’s drug abuse, and the USPS team led him right to what he wanted most to avoid. The pressure to do what they wanted and expected of him must have been incredible. He was convinced that injuries he sustained and accidents in races were punishment for breaking his vow never to use drugs.
I think some of these people came clean because they were forced to do so. Some of them certainly intended to take secrets to the grave. But then, so many of them seem to have given testimony when it was clearly in their own interests to just lie and say nothing happened. Once the gate opened, the flood just came forth. I think a lot of them were just tired — tired of it all, tired of living lies.
The devaluation and smear campaigns brought forth against more than a few of them is just astounding. It’s obvious that Armstrong would do just about anything to preserve his “brand”. It’s equally astounding that so many people are going to continue standing by Lance Armstrong following the release of this report. It’s all there in black and white, and I don’t know how anyone can deny it happened now.
Kmillercats,
Warning their victims even if you could would be a never ending task that in the end would not give you a life to live of your own.
Unfortunately most victims once they are lovebombed do not listen to the wwarning. I have been both the warnED and the warnER and neither time did it do any good. So I no longer try to warn people unless it is OBVIOUS that they are interested in listening and only then if they come to me. I dont’ go seeking to warn people.
If it is a matter of a crime being committed I would (and have) gone to the police about it but unless a crime has already been done even they can’t DO anything but watch and wait.
It does make me happy when these media types are unmasked in public and even happier when they go to jail for it. I hope that Armstrong does get either some financial or criminal sanctions. As for the people “standing by” him in the face of all the evidence, look at Sandusky’s wife, and Paterno’s fans all standing by them or their memories…or my egg donor standing beside my murdering son Patrick, there are just some people who VOLUNTEER to be either dupes or victims. Can’t change their opinions no matter what.
Dawn, it’s sounding to me that Armstrong is an awful lot like Paterno and what he did.
The link that Oxy provided with the report about Armstrong and what those around him did is astonishing, but then again, no it isn’t. So many systems are inadequate and assume that people are honest. The dishonest ones will exploit them for everything that they can get out of them.
This is another article that says the evidence against Armstrong is “beyond strong.”
http://news.yahoo.com/did-lance-armstrong-avoid-positive-doping-test-182038095.html
Athena, I’ve come to the conclusion that the Universe does damage control by having our best interests in mind and sees to it that we do not get information until our ability to grasp what happened will consequently be for our fullest benefit and protection.
I’m going through all the docs that Daddy Dearest as submitted over the years, because the child support enforcement people in his state are questioning how I arrived at my conclusions and are asking for evidence.
Up until now, I haven’t been able to submit this evidence because the judges would not look at it. They want things sweet and simple. Now, the child support enforcement people are looking at it and are actually sending along my information to the judge prior to the hearing.
Since the child support enforcement people are asking for it, I am not restricted with what I can send. They’ll make their conclusions and send what they think is suitable.
I am presenting the collective evidence which absolutely is showing the trends, that everything is deliberate, and the P keeps doing this over and over again.
That’s a round-about way to say, Athena, that maybe it’s taken 4 years for you because the Universe can see around corners and IMHO has a reason for not overwhelming you. The Universe is being kind. We’ve been through enough.
Truthy, maybe you’re right and the Ps do these nice things to convince themselves that they are “nice people.” Maybe. I’m inclined at this point to not give them the benefit of the doubt on that level. I think it is more smoke and mirrors to confuse the general public.
Prime example – after my P sister attacked and got her case against me thrown out and a permanent restraining order imposed on her, she had her church saying prayers for me and my son. (Her church puts that in their bulletins, which they post online.)
Nobody will convince me that she cared one iota about our souls or that she sincerely was seeking any kind of help for us. She was covering her butt in case it came out that there was a restraining order on her. She was setting the stage to play the victim.
Am either very wise or terribly jaded in my old age.