By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)
I recently read this article in the New York Times about Lance Armstrong. Armstrong is a world famous cyclist and well known “do-gooder” with his “Live Strong” website, which purports to tell others how to “Live Well and Live Strong.” Armstrong is a survivor of cancer. Testicular cancer is a “young man’s” disease and one that I sought to teach my college-aged patients about when I worked as a director of student health. I also have a close friend who is now a middle-aged man who is also a survivor of testicular cancer. It is a horrible disease.
Details of doping scheme paint Armstrong as leader
It has been rumored for years that Armstrong was “doping—”using stored blood for reinfusion before races and/or taking drugs. Only now is the vast amount of evidence coming out about just how prevalent this was for not only Armstrong, but for his teammates as well.
One of the things that stuck out in the article to me was the following quote:
But the evidence put forth by the antidoping agency drew a picture of Armstrong as an infamous cheat, a defiant liar and a bully who pushed others to cheat with him so he could succeed, or be vanquished.
I can’t say from what I know about Armstrong’s vigorous narcissistic self-promotion as a “philanthropist” and a “do-gooder,” or from the above quote, that Armstong is a psychopath. But I can say that if the above quote accurately describes him as a cheat, a defiant liar and a bully, that Armstrong is displaying some of the traits that we know are found in a psychopath’s behavior.
People who lie, cheat and bully are not the kind of people that we want in our lives. It is unfortunate when people who hold themselves up as role models for others, and for our young people, actually lie, cheat and bully those around them. Yet they are seen as “successful role models” for our young people.
Jerry Sandusky
Jerry Sandusky also held himself up as a role model and philanthropist, as well as a person of high morality. He was still a defiant liar as he was sentenced this week after being convicted of sexual abuse of multiple young children.
Sandusky gets 30 to 60 years for sexual abuse
“His statement today was a masterpiece in banal self-delusion, completely untethered from reality and without any acceptance of responsibility,” said Joseph E. McGettigan III, the lead prosecutor. “It was entirely self-focused, as if he, him, were the victim. It was, in short, ridiculous.”
Judge Cleland deemed Mr. Sandusky’s statement “unbelievable.”
Of course Armstrong’s “crimes” were not probably as damaging to our youth as Sandusky’s were to his victims. The point is that people who are high in disordered traits lie in the face of evidence against them. Dr. Robert Hare says psychopaths will “lie when the truth would fit better.” The lie when the evidence of their behavior is unequivocal.
Covering up
I could go on and name hundreds of media heroes who have been brought down from the heights of fame and fortune by having their bad acts and their highly psychopathic behavior exposed. The shame I think, though, is that there are way too many people who are in the limelight whose behavior is known among those close to them, just like Armstrong’s and Sandusky’s behaviors were known. Yet those people kept silent about it.
Why are people who know about such horrific behavior as the rape of young boys (such as Paterno knew) willing to sacrifice honor (at the very least) to protect a football program, or a racing team, or a priest who is abusing children? I wish I knew the answer to that, but I don’t.
What I do know, though, is that there are too many times that I have kept my mouth shut ”¦ kept the family secrets, or even lied to cover them up. So I, too, am guilty of covering up for those that have done evil. But I have made the decision to never again do so.
DawnG,
It sounds very similar to the demise of the rest. Sandusky, Madoff, catholic priests and so on. Their house of cards come tumbling down and the weakness which may have made them good minions was also what made them fold and do right when the pressure came from the other side.
It’s terrible to know he was so viscious and had so many players but it seems that is the MO of big “brand” as you say? I am glad they reported more of the story and think about it, I wondered how anybody could stomach OJ after that trial. He had followers and he was a cold blooded killer in my book. Eventually he didn’t ‘get away’ as he was so sure he could forever and by his own actions and I hope with some hard work from the victims families they kept the pressure on OJ enough to help him get where he is.
I wonder if they are intentionally withholding the original leaks about Lance Armstrong.
Ox Drover
I did warn one of his targets. She was very fragile emotionally and had only been involved for 4 months but, I heard she had some major hate going on. I feel good that I got her out after only 4 months and it spread his reputation at the large hot springs pool in town and stopped him there so he just moved on to a different arena. I’m done trying to warn targets. I have me to think about now.
Thanks
I have to wonder what Chery Crow is thinking with all the publicity. I wonder if she feels validated. Hmm….
Sheryl Crow at one time defended him publicly. I know that she was called to give testimony to investigators but that information has never been released. Other witnesses suggested she would have to be blind to not have seen at least some of the medical paraphernalia he has with him at training locations. Personally, I wonder if she feels duped by him.
I’m more curious to know how his former wife feels right about now. She was D&D’d rather brutally after standing by him and even apparently aiding with the doping scheme (this according to some of the witnesses).
Thank you for this post, Joyce Alexander, and the comments by all.
Joyce A’s statement reveals a great deal:
The shame I think, though, is that there are way too many people who are in the limelight whose behavior is known among those close to them, just like Armstrong’s and Sandusky’s behaviors were known. Yet those people kept silent about it.
Bystanders … silent witnesses…many “politically correct” reasons to not speak up; some are dismissed or worse.
Consider how many are injured by bullies…children, workers, us average citizens…and how little “meat” we have to seek justice for malicious slander, cons/theft, assaults, and so on the list of crimes that continue by ppaths…
Sharing a research article here on “victims and victimizers”
http://www.zurinstitute.com/victimhood.html
The praise/attention one obtains for persecuting/prosecuting….also has lead to being victimized by “false” allegations.
Great article Joyce…and enjoyed the follow up conversation.
I am personally so sick to death of the enablers, the silent people who (in my case) never speak up against the evil. My life was sucked dry by my spath mother. Unlike my ppath father, whom everyone knew to be ppath, my spath mother got to me by badmouthing me behind my back. She is one of those ‘relationship destroyers’ or ‘murderers by character assassination.’
I have no idea what stories she could have told so many people that would make them ‘shun’ me. I have nieces and nephews who do not speak to me, although we had a great relationship until they allowed themselves to hear the whispers out of my mother and sisters mouth.
I can’t win. I have no voice in that family. I could be Mother Teresa and still feel the pain of the silent treatment.
I once begged my brother to tell me, tell me what the hell is said that would cause him to break ties with me?! TELL ME TELL ME!! But no. NO ONE TELLS.
If you can’t tell, then you don’t really believe it and just WANT to follow the leader. So much sexual abuse going on against boys and girls and it is no small wonder to me. We breed them. We breed the enablers. We don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb so we go along with the pack.
So I am left, alone, sick and devastated even long after mother died.
If anyone gossips to me today I immediately worry about that person.
I have a personal aversion to anyone who follows without questions.
I could sit here and sound all strong and mighty over my own situation, but the truth is I don’t know when I will feel that inner strength I need to survive. In my case, at least to date…the spath wins. And that is why the ‘out there’ criminal ppaths are less scary to me than the silent ones with evil whispers and follower’s ears.
Just my two sense worth (((hugs)))
Dear Speaking up,
You know, I think there will always be a sad spot in my heart for my son C who was an enabler of his psychopathic brother, and who FAILED to warn me when the other psychopaths and his brother were teamed up to destroy me…he KNEW yet said nothing. What a betrayal. Yet, he isn’t a psychopath…but he is NOT the kind of man that I want for a friend…even if he has 50% of my DNA. It is SAD, but it is a fact.
As for my psychopathic son, Patrick…well…the adult man is a STRANGER to me, the child he was, well, that child is dead and gone. Emotionally as “dead” and buried as my late husband is. I still “miss” that child and have fond memories of him as a really great kid—and the STRANGER in the cell, well, he got the organs of my dead son, just like I got the achilles tendon of someone else who is passed on, but Just because I have that person’s organ in my body does not mean I AM them. So the STRANGER is not someone I love, or feel sad for, he is just that, a STRANGER that hates me. Wants to hurt me.
If that makes any sense. and the same with my egg donor. I wish I had a loving relationship with a mother that loved me, and I deluded myself for a while (decades) that I did have, but when push came to shove and the rubber hit the road, I saw that she would throw me under the bus in exchange for her “beloved Patrick” even though he is a cold blooded killer and I have spent thousands of hours taking care of her in her old age and disabilities. (head shaking here) and he has done nothing but con money out of her. LOL Oh, well, it is her choice and she isn’t going to change now at her age. So I just have to accept that I am an “orphan” as far as parents go, and since I have no other sibs from my mother, and no relationships with the half sibs from my father, I have no siblings and I wish I did have, but accept the fact I don’t.
What I DO have though are people that I LOVE and that LOVE ME, and they are my FAMILY. Not by shared DNA but by shared LOVE and that’s what’s important. So focus on those people who do love you, and love yourself. Let go of the others who don’t love you, or who will throw you under the bus for whatever reason. You don’t need those people in your life no matter what the DNA is.
You do make sense to me Ox…unfortunately we are both from families riddled with sociopathic behavior.
After I finally broke ties with my spath mother (well, truth be told, she ended it when I was no longer good supply).
she ended it, didn’t talk to me all the while she was dying of cancer…i lived 45 minutes away and unlike my crack addict older brother and alcoholic younger brother, and far away narcissistic sister, I would have been there for her if she had let me in. Her ego would not allow her to call me.
She died alone. Of course none of my siblings were there for her, they never were. But, spath mother had to have the last word and left her estate to the above people who now find it amusing to ‘silent’ treat me – and bad mouth me to the nieces and nephews. I was so outcasted I couldn’t even attend the funeral. A huge funeral. Yes, mother had every thing all set up for herself (yes, she planned her last event – made sure it was at an Eagles hall so all of those bozo’s would attend).
My sin? I cared for my ppath father in his dying months. It is my nature to care. I have feelings, unlike the drugged or the sociopath. I wouldn’t let a man on skid row die alone if I were nearby and knowing.
I care, I suffer. I don’t get it.
Thanks ox. I know your story and know you too have suffered deeply.
(((hugs)))
Has anyone seen McDreamy being interviewed today?
He sure seemed to be happy the cycling sport has been cleaned up with Lance Armstrongs exposure. He is an avid rider and I had to wonder about a man with integrity (it seems), fame and money loving the sport if he had anything to do with the house of cards coming down. I have seen more times than not, when a group of people are involved in bad behavior sooner or later they step on the wrong toes of someone larger than they are or large enough to take them on. I’ve seen it happen over and over again.
It gives me renewed hope to see this as much as it let’s me down if I was misguided about the individual/s.
what about McSteamy?