Editor’s note: The following poems were sent to Lovefraud by the reader who goes by “Gia Rad.” She describes herself as a “recovering people-pleaser, ex-victim, natural health practitioner, mother and survivor.”
Positive ”¦
by Gia Rad
Today, I feel positive.
Positive that a new era is emerging
And I’ve left behind for good the hell I once lived with you.
Positive that not every day and night is a nightmare in disguise.
Today, I choose to smile at the rainbow
And stand defiantly in the pouring rain
As I’m positive, for the first time in ”¦ forever
That I’ve survived what many don’t, and will even blossom with time.
Positive that I’ve learned to avoid your type
And keep myself away from the evil lurking in the darkness of your soul.
Penniless I am, emotionally impoverished yes, I admit
Yet POSITIVE I’ve gained my strength ”¦ and tomorrow I’ll show the world
I’ve learned ”¦ To love and trust myself again.
You’ll see that Positive is proof I’m getting better particularly in contrast to an earlier poem called Life ”¦
Life
by Gia Rad
“Life” has dealt me a fatal blow
and I’m lying here dying ”¦
On my deathbed I write to say
That “Life” is code for You.
Didn’t know that giving you my heart would cost my life
Had no idea that your vampire self would drink my blood.
Good bye my former friend and lover
Farewell, to the one who never deserved a moment of my time.
shane
I neglected to say, “Thank You” for sharing your beautiful and most insightful poetry, Gia…
Gia
Dear Alive: yes, we’ve all known that pain, that soul rape that was perpetrated against us for no good cause…. other than we were too compassionate and too pure to see the blackness in their soul…. we couldn’t have imagined there was such a thing so sick, so perverse, so ugly. Yet, we’re alive, and smiling with the wisdom experience brings, with the knowing that our purpose has yet to be fulfilled… glad to be your sister, your fellow survivor, your friend.
Shane, I agree we should have a place to share our poems.
Here’s another one i wrote recently:
Words, words and more empty words
so much wasted time, precious time
discontent, hatred and envy
lurks in that empty man devoid of feeling
the man who never was…
once the mask slipped and the devil was revealed
she turned her back and gone was she
never to give him another thought as he’s
the man who never was…
he loiters, cringes and whinges his drama
wallows in his self inflicted version of hell
he stalks, sneers and mocks
planning his revenge, venting his fury to all and none
the man who never was…
his feckless attempts to malign and slander
are nothing more than positive proof
that nothing good comes out of him who’s a lie
the man who never was…
for he is empty, devoid of human love and feeling
his hollow self is entirely false
masquerading as a man with honor, values
yet is nothing… but a man who never was.
skylar
Gia,
yes, laughter is good medicine. I used it so many times to survive the spath. Thank you for reminding me. Sometimes I forget and get dragged back into sadness.
kmillercats
These poems are so good. They say exactly what goes on in the dynamics of the relationship with a sociopath. It’s still and I assume will always be difficult at best to try to make people who haven’t been in a relationship with one, understand what happens. The poems are so right on.
LiedTo
Hi, all. Long time lurker, first time responder. Olga, I am deeply sorry to hear of your loss. May you both be at peace.
I really wanted to share this little “poem” that popped into my mind the other day. I’m sure you’ve all heard the popular song that this is based on, so sing along. I call it, “No Contact.”
I’ve known you ten years,
And this is insane.
You know my number,
Don’t call me a-gain!
That’s all I got. Peace and love to you all.
david
I had a friend and co-worker who has destroyed my life after Ten years,who I believe is a Sociopath. The poems here are great. I can’t say how much of a strain I go through daily. Thank You for sharing them.
Ox Drover
Dear David, Liedto and Kmillercats, welcome to LF and sorry that you have a reason to be here, but glad that you found your way here. There’s lots of good support and learning here.
They do destroy, but they don’t get US, the essence of US, so read, learn and take back your power! God bless.
Delores
Interesting how we survivors become poets…I write some dark ones myself. LOL But there is great therapy in poetry. Thank you Donna, Gia and LiedTo for sharing yours.
shane
SPATH HAIKU
serene soft fall breeze
fare-thee-well thine psychopath
darkness fades to light
Gia
Betsy ~ i chuckled at your comment – “interesting how we survivors become poets” so true that is… i guess we’re proving that necessity IS the mother of invention. We all have been brutally betrayed and we have a lot to grieve and a lot to share. SO Much pain to purge. Most people who haven’t had the misfortune we’ve had cannot possibly understand or believe such monsters really exist. We know otherwise. David, i hear your pain when you say “can’t say what a strain I go through daily”…. I’ve been there, I understand the torment. Just know and trust that brighter, better days are ahead. You WILL heal, you WILL feel free again — to trust and to enjoy friendship without fear and anxiety. It brings a smile to my heart to know that my “expressions” blessed any of you in some small way. I encourage all of you to share your poetry here. Doing so has been strangely liberating for me. I used to post on Lovefraud under another name… not my own. It was that shame and fear of further humiliation and possible retribution from the exspath. Now I really don’t care anymore. He doesn’t exist for me… as I know the “he” I thought he was.. is actually not human, so “it” doesn’t matter. When I finally turned THAT corner…. I wrote “The Man Who Never Was” — for that is truly what these people are…. subhuman.
Blessings and gentle tender hugs to all!