You would think parole boards would know better. After all, they deal with bad guys all day, every day, and they’re supposed to decide when criminals are sufficiently rehabilitated to return to society. But a study released in January found that when psychopaths in Canada’s prisons were up for parole, they were 2.5 times more likely to win conditional release than non-psychopaths.
The study was conducted by Dr. Stephen Porter from Dalhousie University in Nova Scotia and published in the Journal of Legal and Criminological Psychology. It looked at 310 men who spent at least two years in a Canadian prison between 1995 and 1997. Most had committed violent crimes.
Ninety of the men were classified as psychopaths. They had committed significantly more offenses than the non-psychopaths. The psychopathic child abusers among them had far more charges and convictions than non-psychopathic offenders.
Yet the psychopaths won the get-out-of-jail-free card much more often than ordinary criminals.
“Despite their long and diverse criminal records and much higher risk posed to the community, psychopaths appear to be able to convince decision-makers throughout the correctional system that they can be reintegrated into society successfully,” Dr. Porter wrote.
Oscar award winning performances
How did they do it? Charm and crocodile tears. The researcher said they put on a good show.
“They use non-verbal behavior, a ‘gift of gab,’ and persuasive emotional displays to put on an Oscar award winning performance and move through the correctional system and ultimately parole boards relatively quickly, despite their known diagnosis.”
And apparently, it wasn’t just the members of the parole boards who were fooled—it was everyone who had any input into the parole decision.
“I don’t want to pick on the (National) Parole Board,” Porter said in an interview. “The parole board gets all kinds of information therapy reports and case management reports and so on. So psychopaths are probably putting on a good show for everyone.”
What happened after the psychopaths won their freedom? They committed another crime. On average, they offended again and were returned to prison after one year, compared with two years for non-psychopaths.
Let’s not berate ourselves
Dr. Porter says that the parole boards and psychologists need help in dealing with psychopaths.
“We need to acknowledge that training in this area is essential and that objective file information is much more reliable than trying to assess performance in an interview context,” he said.
So here’s the conclusion for us survivors: We should never again berate ourselves for falling for a psychopath. After all, the professionals who dealt with these predators every day, and had access to their criminal files, were just as clueless as we were.
For more information on this study, see:
BBC: Psychopaths’ ”˜early release con’
Ottawa Citizen: Psychopaths use charm, lies to fool parole officials
Elizabeth —
You are so right. From the time the therapist started in on the truth is relative stuff I felt totally thwarted and frustrated. It defeated the whole purpose of going to therapy. The hardest thing in such a relationship (as with my h) is that they control everything, or try to, or think they do, including REALITY and all or any interpersonal relations between us. I’ve spent over 30 years dealing with this and when I go for therapy I want someone else to see what he’s doing. Regardless, there is such a thing as TRUTH. If you say his truth/ your truth you are denying this. And the stuff he’s done is so aggregious it cannot even fit into the category of “Let’s work on your mutual marriage problems” or “Everyone has a different perspective”. But, in my therapist’s defense I should add that if she was hearing from his psychologist (I’m sure she was) she was hearing absolute outright lies about me — I had no idea until recently how horrific these were. I think the tension was so great because she continued to believe me but also greatly respected her colleague’s opinion. And from the sounds of it my h has done a real job on him.
And this brings me to your other excellent points regarding church. My h and I do not go to the same church for various reasons, one being that he was in leadership at his, and another that it has similar issues as the church we left, and I couldn’t do that again . The church experience I spoke about happened 20 years ago when my husband was on staff as one of the pastors. I was very supportive and invoved with him in that work. But in recent years due to his abuse of me, total neglect of our relationship, and his continual overextion on anything and everything but his home and family I could no longer support him in his ministry aspirations until things were in better order (little did I know that he was also immoral). He had been in full time ministry at one time but recent years it was lay leadership including a lot of teaching from the pulpit, being an elder in everything but formally set in (the only reason that didn’t happen was because of my resistance to it), and being a chief advisor to the head pastor, which he still is.
Okay, I said all that to say, you are so so right about this. I have already experienced how my h has spinned it with his church and pastor and it’s far worse than I ever dreamed. He has them believing he had a simple pornography problem for which he’s repented and that I won’t forgive and reconcile, and has presented me as a monster. I have felt a lot of pressure from this quarter to reconcile, in spite of the fact that the h continues to lie and cheat and be immoral with impunity — of course they don’t know that part and believe whatever he tells them. Thankfully, I have the support of a pastor and his wife who have known both of us for upwards 30 years and they see through all of this. And our very best friends, who knew my h even before we married, are supporting me — they in fact left his church in part over the spin. So the situation is a mixed bag. Those that know only him, or who haven’t been around me in years and attend his church are under his influence.
It’s all quite overwhelming and I can’t wait until this is over. I don’t know why his defamation upsets me so much. I guess I feel so powerless. When he recently brought a no contact order claiming domestic abuse against me when in fact he was the violent one I realized he’ll stop at nothing. How to defend myself? God is my defense.
No more….
“He has them believing he had a simple pornography problem”
Well, if they thought that was simple, I think they need a religious education in that church.
TRUTH….yup…It’ll set you free, but first it WILL piss you off…and that’s good!
I’ve fired a psychologist/psychiatrist…one who had bias from her own recent divorce…lot of chaff to winnow out in that field…my therapist (LCSW) predicted it (once again) before I saw it. My teen daughter (the patient) caught on before I did.
Find someone who believes you…it makes all the difference in the world. I got lucky.
You’ll get there…the LIES they spin will upset you….but you’ll get past ’em.
We’ll believe you, too. Prayers and thoughts here are with you.
Jim —
You are right about the pornography problem not being “simple”. So good to hear a guy say it! I get so tired of , “Well, we understand” and dismissing it. It is THE thing or big part of what has led to the present moral disorder of h’s life, caused the destruction of a 33 year marriage and has done unbelievable harm to a lot of people, and may affect even more if he gets arrested. Of course, there’s the whole personality disorder thing with him as well, but I wonder how much choosing immorality early on helps to cement an underlying predisposition to such problems? Sure seems like a lot of these people have major moral issues.
Yeah, they minimized the pornography. And recently I spoke with his pastor and he minimized h’s involvement with another woman, “They only kissed passionately all night and only met about 10 times”. Not his exact words but in the context of h and his pastor pushing me for reconciliation the new girlfriend thing, yeah it’s just a little impediment.
Thanks Jim, and everyone here!
Thought I better add something to the above post. I sure don’t mean to imply that God doesn’t forgive us for moral failings if we ask Him with the intention of ammending our ways. It’s just that these disordered individuals seem to keep repeating these things without any concern for anyone or anything. They high handedly keep practicing these things. Different than, “Go and sin no more” and “Such WERE some of you”.
Jesus said “as a man THINKETH in his heart….” and he also said if a man “looketh up on a woman to LUST after he has committed adultery with her in his heart.”
The thought is the father of the act. It isn’t about just “looking at dirty pictures”—it is what is on your h’s MIND, what he is THINKING about, even if he never DOES anything, he is WANTING to. For that pastor to “minimize” what your husband did and to act like it is “okay” because there (supposedly) was no actual intercourse is HORRIBLE. I would be more inclined to “reconcile” with a man who admitted he had intercourse but was SORRY than with one who wouldn’t even admit what he did and would expect me to believe what is obviously a LIE. ROTFLMAO What kind of fool does this man think you are (the pastor?) Bett’ya he wouldn’t reconcile with his wife if she passionately kissed all night and ONLY 10 times with another man. sheesh! Where is the PUKE emotiocon when you need it!
nomore_discomBobulat,
I so empathize with what you are going through. My P husband had everyone convinced that he was right on everything. I was told that therapists that work with P’s have to schedule a session with a fellow therapist following a session with these P’s. The purpose is to get centered again. If this happens after only one session to the therapist, can you imagine how in need of deprogramming one is after living with one of these creatures for 42 years?
The only place I have found for deprogramming from a P is a place called Wellspring in Albany, Ohio. It is run by world renowned therapists who assist in the deprogramming of people that have been in all kinds of cults and abusive relationships. It is set in the woods with a locked fence so that no one can kidnap patients while they are there. I was very impressed with the therapy and overall care I received while there in 1996. I believe they have scholarships available for those in need. As for the whole church thing, and how cunning and crafty your h has been in the lies and deceit, just know that you are on the right track to be reaching out for help on this blog with people who can relate and care about you. My ex even conned a professional therapist who deals in forensic pathology and they put on a conference together on cults and their destruction. Talk about soul chilling!!! Just 3 days ago, I had an experience where suddenly after all of these years of trying to get over him I got it in my heart. Since then, I have had what appears to be a buttload of flashbacks of memories of his behavior much like a kaleidascope. The relief I feel is incredible. I have been set free after all of these years of always giving him the benifit of the doubt, and trying to get good enough for him and his perception that I was the problem.
Housie I have mentioned Wellspring on here in the past and have linked the free E-book about mind control and it is nice to see another person who found it helpful for not just cult issues but also abusive relationship issues.
Oxy —
I forgot to add that they also pretty much give him a pass on the STD he gave me. He has them convinced it came out of thin air and I must be nutty, I guess. I’ve never been with anyone but him the entire marriage, while he has admittedly “done everything but” with strippers and lap dances over the course of many years and all over the country. Duh, who most likely gave it to whom! Besides he is an excellent and proven liar so we can’t take his word as to what exactly he has done anyway.
The pornography and recent girlfriend are only the tip of the iceberg. He has committed mental and physical adultery in many more ways than one and for a long time. The Matthew exception for divorce is the Greek word porneia and it encompasses all kinds of immorality including lap dances (I found out what goes on with these lap dances and it is “everything but”). And he advertised himself on the internet and asked specifically for married women (or any woman who would go with a married man). Talk about blatant disobedience to, “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife”. I don’t have proof but believe in my heart he has had “flings” (his word) throughout the marriage. I’m to believe he did nothing with the new found girlfriend, didn’t give me the STD, didn’t, didn’t, didn’t… I could go with many other things. (to say nothing of the business and money lies and all the continuing deceptions)
I’m with you, if he had honestly admitted intercourse there would be hope. Though, in my case even if he admitted what he did with this lady there’s a whole lot more hidden that would have to be uncovered, and it’s too much now. If he had fallen into an affair period, and come clean there’d be something to work with. Or if he admitted to a pornography addiction alone and come clean, there’d be something to work with. But the list and the lies never seem to end. Actually, I finally was willing to work with him if he came clean about absolutely everything, but the opposite happened — dug himself deeper with more lies. And he crowned it off with one of the more horrible examples of his verbal abuse. And to that I would not go back.
I can hardly believe that I’ve gone through a year of torment wrestling with whether I am supposed to reconcile (feeling guilty about not wanting to), when to any outside observer with common sense, the answer was obvious.
Guess it sounds like I sure have a chip on my shoulder now. So be it, I need it. Thanks again Oxy for writing. I so appreciate it. Only hope I won’t wear you all out.
Housie —
Thank you so much for responding and answering my question about the deprogramming.
Giving the benefit of the doubt, always going the second mile to make sure I’m being fair to him — my experience exactly! Much of your story sounds familiar to me.
I think I understand just a little bit what you mean about the flashbacks of his behavoir. Often this past year when I would wake up in the morning I would get a brief, but amazingly unhindered view of some thing he had actually done or lied about, and for that moment it all was very clear to me. Then I would think, “I’m doing the right thing”. I think this helped me to have the strength to hold my ground, even with my everchanging emotions. Your experience sounds like wonderful deliverance. I’m so glad for you.
nomore:
From reading your posts, there is not a doubt in my mind that your ex has a sex addiction and is a compulsive liar, to say the least. From what I’ve read the statistics of church leadership officials that have sex and substance addictions is staggering, and it is common for the church to minimize it or cover it up, rather than confront it. If you haven’t read “The Betrayal Bond”, I recommend reading this. There is a story that is a lot like yours in there. I admire your strength in the face of so many people doubting you.
By the way, you are entitled to have a “chip on your shoulder” after what you have been through. You are entitled to be very angry about it. You have been exploited and traumatized for years. It’s very important to have support where people don’t think you’re crazy or overreacting. Don’t ever apologize for how much you are writing here. This is a great place to come and say as much as you want.
Dear Nomore,
BEing angry and even bitter is a natural and normal response to injury—even Jesus said “be ye angry and sin not.” So, even in the eyes of Jesus (who himself was angry at injustice) anger itself it not a “sin” or even bad, it is a natural response and we can expect to be angry when we are deliberately wounded.
I too struggled with spiritual aspects…ones that had been twisted by my egg donor that “forgiveness” meant “let’s pretend it never happened”—but I have come to see forgiveness in another light, as getting that bitterness out of my heart, but NOT TRUSTING them blindly again. I have eventually come to the point (afte rmuch soul searching, prayer and tears) to where I am no longer bitter and wrathful toward them, but trust them? NOT ON YOUR LIFE. Because they have NOT REPENTED, have not acknowledged their bad behavior, their lies, etc. I will NOT trust them, and if the time comes (not likely!) that they do acknowledge their “sins” the trust will have to be EARNED, not given blindly.
The story of Joseph TESTING his brothers before even revealing himself to them as their brothers, to see whether they had changed or not, is a good example to me of “forgiveness” vs “trust”—-you can have forgiveness without trust, but not trust without PROOF.
Your path will be strewn with pits and boulders, but you are taking the “high road” and not allowing these “false prophets” to lure you into their lies. Satan is the “father of lies” and these people ARE THE LIE….I firmly belive that these people have “sold their souls to the devil” for what they see as a “mess of pottage” (to mix metaphors here!) LOL
I do also recommend the book THE BETRAYAL BOND for you as well as LEGAL ABUSE SYNDROME. The last one mixes law and recovery, but since you are going through a divorce I think would be very helpful to you. I have read both books and highly recommend them for people in our situations. There is good information on defending yourself from these people, and also for RECOVERY tactics. Recovery from the acute stages of the grief is only the START of the healing process, but it is a good start, so that we can then go on and find out WHY, what it is about US, that made us vulnerable to them and their abuse. “tribulation worketh patience” and this is definitely a “tribulation” but in the end, I thinkk if we take the opportunity we can come out better, stronger, and more spiritual people having survived and prospered in spite of, maybe even because of, our encounters with the psychopaths, the earthly equivalent of Satan. Hugs and prayers.