If there is one thing that gets me argumentative it is statements like this one that appeared in a recent research paper: “non-incarcerated psychopaths have an arguably equal potential to illuminate our understanding of the emotional difficulties, such as lack of empathy and lack of conscience, which underlie psychopathy and which lead to offending behaviour.” (emphasis mine)
Now I agree that we can learn from non-incarcerated psychopaths, I wrote recently about a well designed study where sociologists conducted interviews of some. But I cannot believe that statements like the one above make it through editorial review for another reason. Researchers in psychology have spent the last 50 years and untold millions of dollars uncovering the cause of behavior. There is no mystery, we know what causes behavior!
Behavior is caused by rewards and stopped by punishment. Actually rewards cause behavior a lot better than punishment stops it in most people. That is because the brain reward system is functionally stronger than the brain punishment system for most, and especially for sociopaths/psychopaths. The rewards that cause behavior do so because they increase dopamine activity in the mesolimbic dopamine system.
Offending behavior exists and persists because it is rewarding and that reward affects the activity of the mesolimbic dopamine system. To put it bluntly, nothing but desiring/liking to offend leads to offending behavior. To say otherwise is to negate all the work that has been done in this area. The evidence is so strong that genes involved in dopamine metabolism and that system have been identified as candidate genes in the familial transmission of “offending behavior”.
I will repeat, a lack of empathy does not cause offending behavior, neither does a lack of conscience. These two may cause a person to show restraint if he is tempted to aggress against another, but it is the aggressive impulse that causes aggression. So a person with empathy and conscience can still offend if he has the inclination to do so. Furthermore, there is evidence that repeated offending erodes away empathy and conscience.
There is another source of evidence that calls into question the hypothesis that lack of empathy causes the sociopath’s behavior. That source of evidence is people with autism and autism spectrum disorders.
I recently found two very impressive discussions comparing moral agency in autism and psychopathy. The first is, Autism, Empathy and Moral Agency, a paper published in The Philosophical Quarterly (52:340, 2002) written by Dr. Jeannette Kennett, Deputy Director and Principal Research Fellow, Centre for Applied Philosophy and Public Ethics, The Australian National University. Since I didn’t know to search Philosophical Quarterly for papers on psychopathy, I didn’t find that paper until I read “Moral Psychology, Volume 3, The Neuroscience of Morality: Emotion, Brain Disorders and Development” MIT Press, 2008. Dr. Kennett also has two chapters in that book. But Chapter 5, Varieties of Moral Agency: Lessons from Autism, is a discussion of Dr. Kennette’s paper by Dr. Victoria McGeer, of Princeton University’s Center for Human Values. There is a back and forth discussion of the issues raised, with several noted professors also participating.
Both sources begin their discussions by saying that moral agency has two parts two it, a thinking part and a feeling part. They trace these concepts back to philosophers Kant and Hume. Dr. Kennett concludes that Kant is right and that reason is the most important aspect of moral agency. Dr. McGeer points to emotions being important even for people with autism. I am going to summarize the arguments, then give you my own opinion.
Now like sociopathy, autism is a spectrum. A large percentage of people with autism are mentally retarded, so this discussion involves those autistic individuals who are not mentally retarded. I should point out that many sociopaths also have poor intellectual functioning. These sociopaths tend to live in prison.
Dr. Kenneth quotes the following description of autism,
The most general description of social impairment in autism is lack of empathy. Autistic people are noted for their indifference to other people’s distress, their inability to offer comfort, even to receive comfort themselves. What empathy requires is the ability to know what another person thinks or feels despite that is different from one’s own mental state at the time. In empathy one shares emotional reactions to another person’s different state of mind. Empathy presupposes amongst other things a recognition of different mental states. It also presupposes that one goes beyond the recognition of difference to adopt the other person’s frame of mind with all the consequences of emotional reactions. Even able autistic people seem to have great difficulty achieving empathy in this sense.
Autistic people also experience an “aloneness,” yet this aloneness does not bother them. They are indifferent to the presence of other people and do not require affection. One autistic adult is quoted as saying, “I really didn’t know there were other people until I was seven years old. I then suddenly realized that there were people. But not like you do, I still have to remind myself that there are people. I could never have a friend. I really don’t know what to do with other people really.”
High functioning autistic people recognize that they are very different from other people and report feeling “like aliens.”
Dr.Kenneth correctly concludes, “Both psychopaths and autistic people experience outsider status, deficiencies in social understanding and social responsiveness… Both have a tendency to treat other people as tools or instruments, (they have) a lack of strong emotional connectedness to others and impaired capacity for friendship.” She says clinicians and researchers link these impairments in both psychopathy and autism to impaired empathy. But autistic people are in fact worse off in this respect than psychopaths. Psychopaths at least can interact socially with ease and behave in a charming way.
She correctly questions, “If empathy is crucial to the development and exercise of moral agency, then why is the autistic person not worse off, morally speaking, than the psychopath?” She points out that in spite of the lack of empathy which is at the core of the disorder, “Many autistic people display moral concerns, moral feeling and a sense of duty or conscience.”
That autistic people are not antisocial is evidenced by the observation that few come to the attention of police. I did a Google news search using the terms autistic and arrest. Although there were many arrests of people for abusing those with autism, all of the arrests of autistics for aggression were for aggression that stemmed from self-defense. For example, a 10 year old boy with autism was arrested for assaulting staff at his treatment facility. The boy assaulted staff members because he was afraid and they tried to prevent his escape.
Drs. Kenneth and McGeer basically agree on the source of moral agency in those with autism, and what they say is fascinating with respect to sociopaths. The source of moral agency in autism is a preference for order and organization. Autistic people have reported that their sense of morality comes from a desire to see their world as orderly and organized. Dr. Kenneth states that this need for order gives rise to an extraordinary rationality in high functioning people with autism. She says that since morality is organized and logical that those with autism easily pick up moral principles.
I also did a search on morality in autism and can attest to several studies demonstrating normal levels of moral reasoning in autistic children who are not mentally retarded.
Drs. Kennett and McGeer also agree on the issue of the lack of moral agency shown by sociopaths/psychopaths. They both say that this group just plain doesn’t care about morality or regard moral principles as important. This is where psychopaths and autistics differ. Autistics identify with and value moral principles. Dr. Kennett states, “It is not the psychopath’s lack of empathy, which (on its own at any rate) explains his moral indifference. It is more specifically his lack of concern, or more likely lack of capacity to understand what he is doing, to consider the reasons available to him and to act in accordance with them.”
The point of disagreement of the two experts involves the relative role of emotion and reason in autistic people’s moral agency and valuation of morality. Dr. Kennett says that the autistic person is like Dr. Spock of Star Treck, and views life in purely logical terms. Since morality is logical and rational, autistics embrace it. Dr. McGeer disagrees, she states that the autistic need for order leads to an emotional connection to order and rationality. She feels that emotion does play a role in the moral lives of autistics, since she sees them as emotionally as well as rationally invested in maintaining order.
What about sociopaths/psychopaths and the need for order/organization? This disorder truly involves disorder. Psychopaths/sociopaths thrive on chaos and seem to have a dislike for order. Everywhere they go they are a source of extreme entropy as they take order and turn it into disorder. Both Drs. link the lack of appreciation for order to a lack of thoughtfulness in sociopaths/psychopaths. Sociopaths are both disordered and not fully rational or logical.
Dr. McGeer States:
This failure of reason may seem surprising. After all, our image of the psychopath is of a person who is rather good at serving his own interests without concern for the damage he does to others; hence of someone who is rather good at thinking and acting in instrumentally rational ways”¦As Dr. Carl Elliot observes, “While the psychopath seems pathologically egocentric, he is nothing like an enlightened egoist. His life is frequently distinguished by failed opportunities, wasted chances and behavior which is astonishingly self-destructive. This poor judgment seems to stem not so much from the psychopath’s inadequate conception of how to reach his ends, but from an inadequate conception of what his ends are.”
I agree with Dr. McGeer in that I believe that the emotionality associated with the need for order leads to the rationality of autistic people. The brain punishment system is relatively intact in autistics as compared to sociopaths and when an autistic person senses danger instead of being disconnected from the source of anxiety/fear, the autistic person engages thoughtfully to avoid danger (punishment).
The brain punishment/anxiety system of sociopaths is both hypofunctional and hyperfunctional in that they experience anxiety but fail to engage their thinking brains in the presence of danger. The high functioning autistic is well practiced at using his thinking brain to avoid anxiety. The psychopath rarely uses the thinking brain he has- to do anything other than get into trouble and hurt other people.
There are interesting parallels between the autistic’s use of reason to manage anxiety and normal development. It turns out that anxiety and fearfulness in the first two years of life actually predicts the development of conscience. The brain punishment system seems to be more plugged in to the rational brain in kids who are dispositionally more anxious. These kids also have a more highly developed sense of empathy later on.
I am thankful to Drs. Kenneth and McGeer for their seminal contributions to our understanding of sociopathy/psychopathy. I encourage the scholars among you to purchase their book from Amazon. However, I think they both missed a further unifying explanation for why autistics are moral and psychopaths/sociopaths are not.
That explanation involves the brain reward system, which is fundamentally different in autistics and sociopaths. Autistics do not experience social reward, maybe not even in the sexual sense. They are indifferent to relationships. The main reward autistics live for must be the love of thinking because that is all they have. I don’t see that too many are obese, so I don’t think they even turn to food for their source of pleasure. Instead their inner worlds are rich with thoughts and reason. They busy themselves with their own thoughts. Most like who they are, enjoy life and wouldn’t choose a different life if they could.
The sociopath on the other hand, is completely dependent on social reward. The sociopath cannot tolerate aloneness because he has no entertaining thought-life to fall back on. The problem with the social reward system in sociopaths is that the only social reward they experience is dominance. All of their antisocial behavior is motivated by their dominance drive. When they lie, cheat or steal it is about gaining short term interpersonal dominance over some poor unsuspecting person. Autistics can’t lie and are as indifferent to dominance reward as they are to affection reward.
Dr. Keltner and associates at UC Berkeley are engaged in important research on the effects on people of obtaining social power. It turns out that when many people get power reward they change. Self-esteem increases, empathy is suspended, and they become uninhibited and less rational. They also think more about sex and tend to use more foul language. Their moral agency is diminished.
I believe that this response to power reward is the point of connection between sociopaths and the rest of us. Sociopaths are constantly in a state of power intoxication, or are in search of their next power fix. The rest of us can manage the power reward better, but the behavior of our politicians suggests that power intoxication doesn’t only make sociopaths less rational.
I could use your help on two things this week. First, I want your opinion on the term moral agency. I have been looking for a single term that would describe the moral deficits of sociopaths. Up until now I have used the term low “moral reasoning ability” because I couldn’t find another better term. Do you think people will better connect with/comprehend the term low “moral agency” or poor “moral reasoning ability”? Actually moral agency is more precise and technically more correct, but will people get it?
The second question I have concerns successful psychopaths. When I read the autism papers, it occurred to me that successful psychopaths do one of two things that unsuccessful ones don’t do. They either have a better appreciation for order or organization, or they find someone to organize and order their lives for them. If you know a successful psychopath, can you comment on how he/she is successful in spite of the chaos he/she tends to cause?
Jim …getting there… I havent accepted an offer in over a year and a half. Well I did accept a few and then cancelled at the last minute. Just couldnt bring myself to go through ANY of the social graces/meet for lunch/dinner drills. I just havent been ready to go through that hoopla. I recently accepted an offer from a friend I use to work with years ago, weve stayed in touch, but Ive said no to all the formal invitations and finally agreed to just get together and catch up. He was taking the metro home from Manhattan and I agreed to meet him at his place… he phoned an hour ahead of the time we agreed upon to say the train was running late (weather was bad) …I said okay another time… he said oh no Im not canceling I just wanted you to know I ordered us a pizza and hope you’re hungry…When I got there, he still had his coat on and was rushing around putting the pizza and a bottle of wine on the kitchen counter. Everything was fine until we sat on the couch with our pizza and glass of wine. It was the smell of the warm pizza box being lifted open.. just sent me WAY BACK..and reminded me of xtox… many, many times the x-tox would ask me to stop and grab a pizza for us because he was on his way home from gym or auto store or some other insignificant place — and I would go out of my way to accommodate him. But the other night, something felt so right about this guy taking the initiative to go out of his way for me. I dont know how I got through the feelings that overwhelmed me (esp. because Im a TALKER lol)… but I sat quietly in the moment and just convinced myself to enjoy the moment, his company and the movie. When it was time to leave, I said next time pizzas on me (can you believe i said that!)– he said next time I hope you will say yes to me taking you out to dinner . LIVE AND LEARN. I had alot of mixed feelings that night, but I was proud I got through it, and didnt fall apart afterward. The trigger memory of being with my xtox is STILL so raw for me – and its not all entirely bad memories – thats whats so messed up.
But there are decent ones out there… just have to watch for the red flags EVERY STEP OF THE WAY…and let go of the past and stay in the moment – a little more each and every day.
learnEDthelesson-good job! Yes, there are regular old decent people out there. And remember the yellow flags and green flags. Trust your intuition, and your new knowledge. One day at a time. Stay safe.
I’m not sure if this answers your question exactly, but my experience is this: I think the best description of my X is narcissist, although many descriptions of sociopath, psychopath, and sadist apply very well to him.
Sociopaths are often described as having no moral compass. My X seemed to have several levels to him, like an onion.
On the surface, to a casual contact in society, he was charming and gracious and an upstanding citizen. When we were dating, he was flattering and attentive.
At the next level, for those who got to know him, he was a liar, a backstabber, and very emotionally sadistic. He got a great deal of pleasure out of hurting other people, sabotaging their work or their dreams, thwarting their plans.
After we got married, he pretended to be supportive while doing whatever he could to upset me. Then he would pretend to be innocent and pretend to not have any idea why I could possibly be upset.
I learned, for example, that telling him what I wanted was a recipe for disaster. If he asked what movie I wanted to go to and I told him, it was a guarantee that we would NOT go to that movie. If he asked me what I wanted to do over the weekend, he would be sure to interfere if I told him. It didn’t matter if the plans were large or small. If I planned to scrub the floor, he’d want to go out of town. If I wanted to go out of town, then it became an emergency to clean the house. He did it in such a way that for many years I didn’t understand what was happening.
He always managed to make it seem that he was helping while in reality he was doing the opposite. It was very much like someone who is practically twisting your arm off while they smile and pretend that they are helping you put your coat on. If you say anything about it, they act all innocent and indignant. Now, not only are you ungrateful for their wonderful help, you are now a bad person for saying anything negative about it.
The third layer is where my X seems to diverge from what I read in the literature. This may be the part that would be most interesting to a professional. Unlike the description of a sociopath, I believe that my X *did* have a conscience. What seemed to happen, in my opinion, is that when he behaved badly, he looked for a reaction. I have a very long fuse and I think I have a natural tendency to look for the best in people. So, I tended to explain away and excuse much of his behavior. For example, with the movie issue, a disagreement over one movie is not a pattern. I had no problem going to see the movie he preferred. The second time, too. He would have some compelling argument about why, once again, we should do what he wanted. It took many incidents before I realized that not only did we never do what I wanted, but what was worse, he would find out what I wanted in order to thwart it. I would have had a better chance of seeing a movie I liked if I had not admitted what it was and left it to chance.
Stating my preference was a guarantee that it wouldn’t happen. So the next step for me was to point out the pattern (still naively thinking I was married to a normal person, who loved me and therefore had my best interests in mind and if I just pointed it out, he would realize what he was inadvertently doing and stop) or I would say very calmly that something was bothering me. Pointing it out just helped him refine his technique and prolong it.
Finally, what he was doing would become impossible to deny, it would become clear that any rational calm discussion had no positive effect, and I would blow up (cry or yell). Since both crying and yelling were very rare for me, this actually got his attention.
If I cried (maybe 5 times in 20 years), I could tell that he actually felt sorry. This was unlike the pretend contrition that he often feigned which was just another technique to manipulate people. I think he truly felt bad on these very rare occasions. But what I think separates him from a normal person, is that to make himself feel better, he needed another “fix” of sadistic success, only he had to be careful that he didn’t go too far. It would be like a physical sadist who nearly killed his victim. That would be too far.
I think part of why the X felt sorry on these rare occasions is that in his mind, he maintains the careful fiction that he is a good and moral person side by side with his emotional abuse of others. (Maybe this is like an adulterer who thinks it doesn’t count if it’s only a prostitute, or it’s out of town, or whatever.) The rare occasions when he felt sorry were when the results of his behavior could not be explained away. He would apologize and try to make up for it. When he asked what was wrong and I cried and said we hadn’t been out to dinner in over 5 years, we went out to a very nice restaurant and he bought me flowers. That is like putting a bandaid on an amputation. (And by the way, we were not poor. He had plenty of time and money to take other people out to restaurants, but never me.)
It took something very jarring to shake his view of himself as perfect, but when it did, and he was forced to face it, he felt sorry. Maybe he felt more sorry for himself than for his victim, but I think he felt sorry for me, too. It was as if all the other abuse just fed his appetite, but when it reached the point of being the last straw, he was forced to see it.
I think that perhaps his brain was wired so that all the sadistic things he did caused an increase in “dopamine activity in the mesolimbic dopamine system.” They were rewards (in his warped world). But when I cried, he was no longer able to get that dopamine fix. It disrupted his typical reward system and he actually felt sorry. Then he would try to be nice (press the reset button on the brain reward system) so that he could go back to his familiar patterns of abusing others to get his reward.
Jim and Matt,
What a way to start the day!!! You guys ROCK. I’m laughing out loud !!!
keeping_faith….we live to serve…keep on laughing!
nottakingitanymore-I read your post twice, or three times. Glad you’re here, sorry you have to be. I think you’re giving him too much credit…I don’t think he’s sorry…just adjusting his game. Maybe one of the other people here has another take…
Jim,
Thanks for the kind words. I’m doing pretty well now and just hope that what I post can help others.
I used to talk about “recovering from the divorce” which came as a shock to me. Now I realize that it was a blessing in disguise and I am “recovering from the marriage.”
Jim, Matt, keeping_faith,
Thanks for the stories. Made me laugh! Sorry that the bad parts had to involve you. I knew I was recovering from the bad relationship when I started to recover my sense of humor. Sounds like your sense of humor is doing fine!
All,
Thanks for all the posts, information, and support. God bless you all!
nottakingitanymore,
I can’t tell sometimes if the XS was narcissistic, S/P Borderline……. it’s probably irrelevant in the scheme of things. I too used to thing he DID actually FEEL something. he seemed to show empathy, and sorrow…… Every single time he had told a story about his military career and being tortured, killing terrorists on bahalf of the NSA and US gov’t, he cried hysterically, passionately. REAL? Seemed traumatized by these events and he got the attention, adoration, pity, that he sought. Yet he would apologize later and say how he does not usually talk about these things. it’s against the “rules”. He was so proud of his service. The man wore dog tags and a diving watch 30 years later. WHY WOULD I NOT BELIEVE HIM?
None of this was true about him. I later learned that he served all of four months in the Navy before he was kicked out. He was a really good liar, fake, phony. He appeared to care, to show sorrow and empathy on many occassions….. but the reality is that what you see in alleged emotion and even behavior is totally different than what goes on inside their head and it’s hard for us to comprehend that. One should relate to the other. Right?
Now when I start to think about the times he professed to love me and the engagement ring he bought and how I was supposedly the most beautiful woman in the world and allegedly the best sex ever….. I think back to how believeable he was when he told his stories and gained all kinds of satisfaction from conning me. THIS is who he REALLY is. He is/They are cons who don’t know who they are themselves. They don’t feel. They show what they need to in the moment for any or no reason at all and sometimes it has no rhyme or reason.
It’s incomprehensible to those of us who do as we say, are truthful, respectful and show the emotion that we truly think and feel.
nottakingitanymore-I didn’t think my words were very kind…but, now, you can see the movies you want to see, spend the weekends the way you want to…right?
I was familiar with a long campaign of “appear to support while subverting” when I was in the fog. I was far from perfect, but the subtle “devalue’ went on for a long time, accelerating as the “discard” was planned. She’d have done it sooner, but she needed a source of backup supply….
On my first visit to my therapist he said…”Did she support you in your work?” The more I looked back, the worse it looked. There wasn’t a partnership, it was a “power struggle”.
I found out after the divorce was filed she had revealed this concept of marriage to my oldest daughter.
I wish someone had told me…I didn’t know I was in a game, much less what the rules were.
Jim,
The thing is we were palying real life and they were playing a game where NO RULE APPLY, unless they benefit them. RULE 1: it’s inappropriate for me to have coffee with a friend (a guy) at Starbucks. But it was OK for him to crawl in bed with the nearesr biker chick x stripper two days after we picked out all the things for our new home. (because he ditched me first). That’s not being disloyal….but because i questioned all the lies about military service and them discussed them with his sister….I WAS DISLOYAL. but he wasn’t for lying…..WTF????
Believe me, he ditched me a lot and i am thinking each of those times it was probably a different bar and a different biker chick.
Nice rules. Huh?
Nottakingitanymore
Thank you so much for your post. I know EXACTLY what you mean in terms of THWARTING. That is a word I seldom used, but it came to dominate how I felt. I also could never quite get a handle on how things never seemed to work out my way. I began to feel that I had an evil spell on me, a hex, because my luck was so bad. It was uncanny how I was thwarted, every time, despite enormous efforts on my part.
It tends to make you start to feel paranoid. It errodes your belief that you can achieve even simple things. It results in that constant, low-level dispair that others have mentioned.
I too began to feel hugely frustrated. Its part of the stratergy – I knew, unconsciously, that if I acted out my frustration, Id be labelled the nut. If I did nothing, then Id just get thwarted somemore.
It is a passive-aggression that is so insidious that it, over time, is literally soul destroying. It kills your Joy.
Mine also went too far at times (though not often), and feigned regret. My trust was so damaged, however, that I didnt know what to make of his regret.
I think that one day he may pick on someone with a little less self-control, and come to a sticky end. I live in hope.