BOOK REVIEW: A Dance With the Devil

Barbara Bentley was 35 years old and divorced back in 1981, when Admiral John Perry swept into her life.

She met him at a dinner party hosted by a friend. The admiral dominated the conversation with his stories—he’d lied about his age to get into World War II and became one of the original Navy SEALs. He was a naval aviator during the Korean War, and flew with the Blue Angels. Then, during the Vietnam War, he commanded swift boats fighting on the rivers. He won the Congressional Medal of Honor for saving some of his men when their position was overrun by the enemy. Afterwards, he did clandestine work for the federal government, going places where it would be better if the American presence wasn’t known.

Barbara Bentley relates the story of meeting Admiral John Perry in the beginning of her book, A Dance With the Devil—A True Story of Marriage to a Psychopath, which was published last year. I felt like I was reading part of my own story.

Different psychopath, same story

I, too, heard the tales of fighting in Vietnam from my psychopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. He claimed to have been awarded the Victoria Cross, which is Australia’s equivalent to the Congressional Medal of Honor. In fact, he sent me a copy of the “mention in dispatches” account of his heroism:

In heavy contact with the enemy, forward of the company in which Captain Montgomery was moving, the commander of the Mobile strike battalion was killed and an Australian Warrant Officer and several indigenous soldiers were wounded ”¦ Without hesitation, Captain Montgomery joined a small group under the command of a further Australian Warrant Officer, who was a company commander in the battalion, and went forward to the area of contact. While the remainder of the group were extricating the casualties ”¦ Captain Montgomery cut and prepared the casualty evacuation point on his own and under enemy fire. The helicopter attempted to extract the serious casualties but was forced away by heavy fire. Captain Montgomery, with complete disregard for his own safety, then, single handed, cleared the enemy from the close proximity of the evacuation point using hand grenades and small arms fire.

It was, of course, a complete fabrication, as were the stories of Admiral John Perry.

Marriage was a nightmare

But like me, Barbara Bentley didn’t know anything about psychopaths. All she knew was that this man who was so charismatic, so larger-than-life, was saying that he was smitten with her. He pursued her. He proposed to her. And even though he was 20 years her senior, she accepted.

The marriage, of course, was a nightmare, although Barbara couldn’t figure out why. John loved to live the rich life, even when he wasn’t working, and their finances were a catastrophe. He always had a plan though ”¦ his new job would pay better ”¦ he was going to sell some property ”¦ his inheritance was coming through ”¦ financial stability was always just around the corner.

But when Barbara finally started asking serious questions, John Perry attempted to murder her.

Then, the legal abuse

The guy was in jail when Barbara tried to divorce him, and he refused to cooperate. Even though he’d attempted to murder his wife, according to California’s no-fault divorce law, he was entitled to part of his wife’s assets, and he was going to get them.

Barbara was so outraged by the legal abuse—the law demanded that she pay the man who attempted to murder her—that she embarked on a crusade to get the law changed. And she did it.

A Dance With the Devil, by Barbara Bentley, is an excellent account of how psychopaths manipulate their victims. Reading it, I saw my own story, over and over. You probably will too.

This book is also the story of escape and recovery. And, it’s the story of a woman who turned near-tragedy into something positive. Now, in California, psychopaths who try to murder their spouses are not entitled to their assets as well.

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73 Comments on "BOOK REVIEW: A Dance With the Devil"

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Truebeliever – Way to go!!!! Glad you received some money back! My suggestion for the courtroom is to focus everything..all you have… on the Mediator. Answer the mediator only. Go with the intention of having one goal in mind and accomplish it… providing the financial evidence of what is owed. Do not get twisted up in any way shape or form in his responses or requests…focus on the mediator…believe in yourself…trust yourself…know you are right where you should be in collecting what is rightfully yours. Handling it like a busines meeting is a great way to go into it and out of it. Head held high, and stay focused on the Mediator. GOOD LUCK! Going to go check out the link you posted..

THANK YOU! learn the lesson- You are true to your name. I love your posts! You have truly learned so much and have much wisdom to share. Thank you for your help and wonderful positive attitude that you share daily. You are an inspiration to us all!
I will focus on the Mediator and conduct myself in a business manner. No emotional outbursts. Thanks again!

Pastor **** **** of **** Church fits this description. The pathological lies of **** **** has surface to create division. He is a sociopath. When his daughter was younger, she would tell people he beat her viciously with a belt. She is know to be a pathological liar, so we don’t know if this is true. Are Sociopaths genetic? She may be a sociopaths also as she manipulates and lies. Everyone felt sympathy for her in the past, but She may also be a sociopath. **** **** wife is a cold person, but if two sociopaths get marry, will one or two children be a sociopath?

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