Lovefraud recently received an email from a woman in Israel. She says that she was involved with a man for almost two years, and had sexual relations with him. He promised that they would marry and have children. The guy seemed to have a wife, but he claimed it was a fake marriage to get a passport. Well, he was, in fact, married and leading a double life—a con man. The woman is trying to get him prosecuted for “rape by deception.”
Yes, Israeli law includes the concept that consensual sex based on a false premise is rape. Here’s the actual law:
RAPE
345. (a) If a person had intercourse with a woman —
- (1) without her freely given consent;
- (2) with the woman’s consent, which was obtained by deceit in respect of the identity of the person or the nature of the act;
- (3) when the woman is a minor below age 14, even with her consent;
- (4) by exploiting the woman’s state of unconsciousness or other condition that prevents her from giving her free consent;
- (5) by exploiting the fact that she is mentally ill or deficient, if — because of her illness or mental deficiency — her consent to intercourse did not constitute free consent.
then he committed rape and is liable to sixteen years imprisonment.
When I first heard of this law, I was amazed. A law like this actually exists? What a great idea! How many of us have been lured into sex through deception? My sociopathic ex-husband told me that he was a financially stable entrepreneur, a decorated war veteran and in love with me—none of which was true. I would be thrilled to have him prosecuted for his outrageous lies.
Israeli case
Only a few people have been prosecuted under the “rape by deception” provision in Israel. One case from last year was the subject of a lot of media hype. It turned out to be a very bad case, unlikely to gather support for a law that many of us would probably like to see enacted here.
A man by the name of Saber Kushour was convicted of rape by deception because he led a Jewish woman to believe that he was a Jewish bachelor, and they had consensual sex. In fact he was a married Palestinian with two children. The woman filed a complaint.
Here is what Tzvi Segal, one of three judges in the case, said:
“The court is obliged to protect the public interest from sophisticated, smooth-tongued criminals who can deceive innocent victims at an unbearable price — the sanctity of their bodies and souls. When the very basis of trust between human beings drops, especially when the matters at hand are so intimate, sensitive and fateful, the court is required to stand firmly at the side of the victims — actual and potential — to protect their wellbeing. Otherwise, they will be used, manipulated and misled, while paying only a tolerable and symbolic price.”
You can read about the story, and the verdict, in Arab guilty of rape after consensual sex with Jew on Guardian.co.uk.
As you would think by the above headline, the story touched off international criticism that the Israeli court was racist, and the law was a ploy to inhibit interracial dating.
Once details of the case were known, it got even messier. Apparently the woman, who was not named, approached Kushour as he walked out of a convenience store. Within 10 or 15 minutes of meeting, the two went to a nearby building and had sex.
The woman told police that she had been abused by her father since she was young and forced by him to become a sex worker. She also said that the sex wasn’t consensual; she was raped and left naked and bleeding.
Then it turned out that she had filed 14 previous rape complaints. The prosecution agreed to a plea bargain, reducing the sentence to “rape by deception,” supposedly to prevent a long cross-examination of the victim. My guess is that the prosecutors decided the woman wasn’t credible, and if they took the case to trial, they would lose. The prosecution took what it could get. But Kushour thought the sentence was too long—18 months— and he is appealing his conviction. Read:
Saber Kushour: ”˜My conviction for “rape by deception” has ruined my life’, on Guardian.co.uk.
Arab rape-by-deception charge ”˜was result of plea bargain’, on Guardian.co.uk.
Israeli Palestinian man to appeal rape-by-deception conviction, on CNN.com
Possible in the U.S.?
So, could there be such a law in the United States? Actually, a few states have similar laws—California, Tennessee, Alabama and Michigan. They’re called “rape by fraud” or “rape by coercion” laws.
Back in 1995, Nashville, Tennessee was all a-twitter about the case of the “Fantasy Man.” Raymond Mitchell III, a 45-year-old businessman, took to calling women late at night. In a sexy whisper, he persuaded them to unlock their doors, undress, put on a blindfold, and wait for him in bed. At least eight women thought he was their boyfriend and had sex with him.
Mitchell turned out to be a man with a double life. By day he was a churchgoer who spent time with his ailing mother and helped raise a fatherless nephew. By night he was the Fantasy Man. Mitchell was convicted and sentenced to 15 years in prison for rape by fraud and attempted rape by fraud. Read:
Three accuse ”˜Fantasy Man’ lover of rape on LATimes.com
Rape by fraud guilty verdict on NYDailyNews.com.
”˜Fantasy Man’ going to prison on News.Google.com.
In a similar case in Massachusetts, the perp was not convicted. A woman lived with her boyfriend in the basement of his father’s home. Her boyfriend’s brother also lived in the house. One night, while the woman slept and her boyfriend was at work, a man came into the room. It was dark, the woman thought her boyfriend had come home, they had sex—but it was the brother.
The brother was prosecuted for rape. But because Massachusetts law specifies that rape requires force, and the sex was consensual, the state supreme court ruled that no rape had been committed.
Read Does sex through fraud constitute rape? On Salon.com.
I have a feeling that we’re not going to see many rape by deception laws. Even if the laws were enacted, they wouldn’t be enforced. I mean, most prosecutors won’t go after people who commit bigamy, so they’re unlikely to go after people who are slick enough to talk themselves into other people’s pants.
Great article, Donna. Lots of food for thought here! Actually, there are plenty of RAPES by FORCE, DATE RAE, and rapes by pedophiles that are NOT PROSECUTED now, so I can’t see many if any prosecution of “rapes by fraud” when a guy tells someone he loves them and wants to marry them and he already has a wife or has NO intention of going further with the woman than the bed. Like we used to say “Lay down, I think I love you, get up, I’m not sure.”
It amazes me what some people will do in order to convince some gullible woman or man to have sex. On the case where the woman was a “sex worker” and had made many previous prosecutions, I do think they should have turned the guy loose on that one, the woman was obviously “problematic” with her own behavior and contributed to the situation, but if her FIRST story had been true, then I think he should have been prosecuted.
Anyway, lots of food for thought in these articles. Thanks!
Wow, they are eons ahead of us. Brilliant law. Even moreso- how validating! And to think about in how many ways sociopaths would be limited in their machinations by this law… it really brings to the fore how important a country’s legislation is in doling out real justice and creating real, observable and tangible change.
I’m moving to Israel!
What a smart law though, really. I mean it brings to question, why hasn’t this law already been realized in the US? It’s so freaking EASY to lie and take advantage of a woman ( or man ) sexually… ( and cause an inordinate amount of pain in that individual’s life as a result.. so much is at stake!) and under “American Law” the individual would be seen as having done NOTHING WRONG! Think about how many casualties would be spared if this law were to be observed here. I’m sure the CDC wouldn’t be complaining either.
Wow, pretty progressive laws in Isreal. I’m all in for that. It is amazing we don’t have something like that in the US. On the other hand, “deception” may be hard to prove.
At what point are we on to the con?
I do feel raped by my spath. I think that’s why it’s been so hard for me to recover.
At some point, I discovered the lies.
It was much later that I discovered that it wasn’t just a few lies, it was PURE EVIL at it’s core.
There is a big difference in the shock impact to me.
PERFECT DESCRIPTION OF WHAT THE SPATH DID TO ME: RAPE BY DECEPTION!
There is a bit in Without Conscience where Robert Hare describes a female victim of a psychopath as saying “She has said that she wishes she had just been raped. Then it would be over with…”
It IS rape. Not only physical rape ( via deception ) but mental, emotional rape as well. A true mindfuck.
It is rape. It’s a disrespecting of boundaries, for one.
What about when you’re parents are guilty of it? Then it’s child mental rape.
Oh wait, what about when you’re government is doing it to you? What do we call that?
Bank rape, corporate rape, mortgage rape….
The irony is that my spath protected me from all the other types of rape. He wanted to be the only one.
There used to be laws against “alienation of affection” and a woman or man could prosecute (sue) the person who was the OW or OM in a marriage. Also tonight at my genealogy meeting we were talking about a man being criminally prosecuted for “seduction” of a young woman (getting her preg and not marrying her) This was in the early 1900s. Of course if she had been “lower class,” NOTHING would have been done, but she was from the “upper class,” so the man was prosecuted.
The betrayal of a person we loved/trusted is a form of emotional “rape” I agree….it is a VIOLATION of our most intimate selves. A physical rape is a violation as well of BOTH physical intimacy and emotional intimacy as well, but I am not sure that one kind is “worse” or “better” than the other. They are both devastating.
Proving physical rape, or assault or battery or stalking is difficult in a court, and I can only imagine that proving “deception” as a form of rape would be extremely difficult.
There are laws against murder and robbing banks but they happen every day and sometimes the bad guys still get away with it even with every effort made by the police to solve the crime and prove who did it.
Skylar,
Im so sorry.