Lovefraud recently received an email from a woman in Israel. She says that she was involved with a man for almost two years, and had sexual relations with him. He promised that they would marry and have children. The guy seemed to have a wife, but he claimed it was a fake marriage to get a passport. Well, he was, in fact, married and leading a double life—a con man. The woman is trying to get him prosecuted for “rape by deception.”
Yes, Israeli law includes the concept that consensual sex based on a false premise is rape. Here’s the actual law:
RAPE
345. (a) If a person had intercourse with a woman —
- (1) without her freely given consent;
- (2) with the woman’s consent, which was obtained by deceit in respect of the identity of the person or the nature of the act;
- (3) when the woman is a minor below age 14, even with her consent;
- (4) by exploiting the woman’s state of unconsciousness or other condition that prevents her from giving her free consent;
- (5) by exploiting the fact that she is mentally ill or deficient, if — because of her illness or mental deficiency — her consent to intercourse did not constitute free consent.
then he committed rape and is liable to sixteen years imprisonment.
When I first heard of this law, I was amazed. A law like this actually exists? What a great idea! How many of us have been lured into sex through deception? My sociopathic ex-husband told me that he was a financially stable entrepreneur, a decorated war veteran and in love with me—none of which was true. I would be thrilled to have him prosecuted for his outrageous lies.
Israeli case
Only a few people have been prosecuted under the “rape by deception” provision in Israel. One case from last year was the subject of a lot of media hype. It turned out to be a very bad case, unlikely to gather support for a law that many of us would probably like to see enacted here.
A man by the name of Saber Kushour was convicted of rape by deception because he led a Jewish woman to believe that he was a Jewish bachelor, and they had consensual sex. In fact he was a married Palestinian with two children. The woman filed a complaint.
Here is what Tzvi Segal, one of three judges in the case, said:
“The court is obliged to protect the public interest from sophisticated, smooth-tongued criminals who can deceive innocent victims at an unbearable price — the sanctity of their bodies and souls. When the very basis of trust between human beings drops, especially when the matters at hand are so intimate, sensitive and fateful, the court is required to stand firmly at the side of the victims — actual and potential — to protect their wellbeing. Otherwise, they will be used, manipulated and misled, while paying only a tolerable and symbolic price.”
You can read about the story, and the verdict, in Arab guilty of rape after consensual sex with Jew on Guardian.co.uk.
As you would think by the above headline, the story touched off international criticism that the Israeli court was racist, and the law was a ploy to inhibit interracial dating.
Once details of the case were known, it got even messier. Apparently the woman, who was not named, approached Kushour as he walked out of a convenience store. Within 10 or 15 minutes of meeting, the two went to a nearby building and had sex.
The woman told police that she had been abused by her father since she was young and forced by him to become a sex worker. She also said that the sex wasn’t consensual; she was raped and left naked and bleeding.
Then it turned out that she had filed 14 previous rape complaints. The prosecution agreed to a plea bargain, reducing the sentence to “rape by deception,” supposedly to prevent a long cross-examination of the victim. My guess is that the prosecutors decided the woman wasn’t credible, and if they took the case to trial, they would lose. The prosecution took what it could get. But Kushour thought the sentence was too long—18 months— and he is appealing his conviction. Read:
Saber Kushour: ”˜My conviction for “rape by deception” has ruined my life’, on Guardian.co.uk.
Arab rape-by-deception charge ”˜was result of plea bargain’, on Guardian.co.uk.
Israeli Palestinian man to appeal rape-by-deception conviction, on CNN.com
Possible in the U.S.?
So, could there be such a law in the United States? Actually, a few states have similar laws—California, Tennessee, Alabama and Michigan. They’re called “rape by fraud” or “rape by coercion” laws.
Back in 1995, Nashville, Tennessee was all a-twitter about the case of the “Fantasy Man.” Raymond Mitchell III, a 45-year-old businessman, took to calling women late at night. In a sexy whisper, he persuaded them to unlock their doors, undress, put on a blindfold, and wait for him in bed. At least eight women thought he was their boyfriend and had sex with him.
Mitchell turned out to be a man with a double life. By day he was a churchgoer who spent time with his ailing mother and helped raise a fatherless nephew. By night he was the Fantasy Man. Mitchell was convicted and sentenced to 15 years in prison for rape by fraud and attempted rape by fraud. Read:
Three accuse ”˜Fantasy Man’ lover of rape on LATimes.com
Rape by fraud guilty verdict on NYDailyNews.com.
”˜Fantasy Man’ going to prison on News.Google.com.
In a similar case in Massachusetts, the perp was not convicted. A woman lived with her boyfriend in the basement of his father’s home. Her boyfriend’s brother also lived in the house. One night, while the woman slept and her boyfriend was at work, a man came into the room. It was dark, the woman thought her boyfriend had come home, they had sex—but it was the brother.
The brother was prosecuted for rape. But because Massachusetts law specifies that rape requires force, and the sex was consensual, the state supreme court ruled that no rape had been committed.
Read Does sex through fraud constitute rape? On Salon.com.
I have a feeling that we’re not going to see many rape by deception laws. Even if the laws were enacted, they wouldn’t be enforced. I mean, most prosecutors won’t go after people who commit bigamy, so they’re unlikely to go after people who are slick enough to talk themselves into other people’s pants.
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Sky, I agree the 3-trick pony thing of the charm, pity and rage has a lot of merit in looking at how the person high in psychopathic traits manipulates others to conform to his/her wishes. I think also in many ways, we ALL use those three “tricks” as well, only not to the extent that the person high in P-traits does, because we ALSO have empathy as well. The empathic part of us keeps us from using it to the greater harm of another because we experience remorse for hurting another person (or animal).
I think that empathy is what keeps us from shaking the colicy baby to death and keeps us walking the floor rocking it in our arms. Our bonding with that baby, our protective emotions, all serve to make us care for the infant or the lover, or the stranger we find in the ditch.
Constantine,
I don’t doubt that you can produce a person who does violent things by abusing them….but not ALL people who are abused become abusers.
You can take a breed of dog that is generally docile and tie it up, tease it, beat it and starve it until it will become a violent animal. Other dogs of the same breed will cower down and belly crawl, or just give up and die. So there is SOMETHING in the individual that is different genetics.
The identical twins raised apart is probably a very small sample, and also, consider that Psychopathic Diagnosis is not an IS OR AIN’T situation, it is a DEGREEs of….so if one twin scores a 30 and the other twin scores a 28 is one “worse than” the other, or are they BOTH psychopaths?
But for purposes of RESEARCH you have to have a “cut off score”—like they do with IQ in the situation of the death penalty. It is illegal to execute a person who is MR, so if a guy has a “borderline” score of 1 point at or above MR then he is okay to execute but if he has 1 point below the cut off then he is MR and you can’t execute him.
The captive psychopaths in our prisons are sort of “self selected” by criminal behavior, but most of the Bernie Madoffs, and James Montgomerys, of this world go undetected and unpunished. A few of the white collar criminals are actually caught and prosecuted but many walk free their entire lives and you are entirely right about them not volunteering for studies. LOL
I think we should start a book-a-holic group, but the problem is I do NOT want to quit and I think you have to WANT to quit your addiction before you can do it. LOL I have an Amazon prime membership, how about you! Free shipping! Whoopie! I’m going to have to at some point though, either give up heat and electric or my book addiction though. LOL
Yes Oxy, empathy is the difference.
As we grow, we learn new ways to deal with the world. The old ways don’t go away, they are buried in the layers, just like an onion, but we don’t need to go there as often because we have grown.
The spaths don’t grow. They just stay infantile. Empathy never takes root. From what I’ve read, it’s because they have willed themselves not to feel. Without feeling, there is no empathy. and there is no growth.
IMO, the spath serves one purpose: as an example of how not to be.
Oxy we posted over each other.
You talked about MR not being held responsible.
I’m just wondering if it’s just my head or if there is something wrong with the way that the criminally insane are not held responsible. It seems that they are given drugs until they finally get a hold on reality. Then they are tried as “sane” and executed. Does this seem weird to anyone else but me? I just don’t get the logic.
It seems like if the MR’s could be treated, then they would be treated and then executed too. Am I missing something?
Oxy
You are so right. All the times I’ve been accused of being after someone’s money was done by a person who was after mine…. And control isn’t just over money, like you I have learned to say no thanks to “gifts” b/c they nearly always came with strings attached. I do give gifts but in NO WAY do I ever attach even thank you as a condition… although I have STOPPED giving gifts b/c the person didn’t appreciate them. I’m part scottish… think I’m gonna waste money on something somebody doesn’t want??!!
an earlier post said something about gallows humor and someone replied about LF members being cynical or NOT. I don’t know who posted what but… I don’t think we are cynical as much as we are ironic.
Oh yes, I love the irony in things. (thanks Skylar for the word that fit.) There’s a lot of gallows humor in irony.
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Constantine,
Better at playing the game IS more sinister. Someone who has shallow emotions yet passes for a “saint” is sinister. As far as how dangerous they are, I guess it depends on who you are talking to. Many mothers are this way. They don’t act like your average spath, but they damage their own children beyond repair. They never break the law, or even any moral codes. Instead they seed envy and rivalry. They create pain and neurosis. They create other spaths, who go on to do the dirty work for them.
Maybe we are looking too hard for the spath profile, when in fact, spaths are more like a hive species. Each has a different role to play but in the end, they all have the same agenda : to increase the number of people who go to hell.
The queen bee doesn’t do anything but lay eggs, which become her minions and go out into the world to do her bidding.