With all the uproar over Arnold Schwarzenegger and his “love child,” our friend Ann over at WomenExplode.com just wrote about her own experience of a cheating husband.
Read I can relate with Maria Shriver ”¦ at WomenExplode.com.
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How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists
They won’t wake up from being a spath and start feeling anything-that’ll never happen.
I almost committed suicide over being the other woman.
Huh, Stargazer, you are the second person that I know used stripping to get out of a bad (in her case abusive) relationship. Her story is virtually the same as yours. Gives me hope she might show up here someday.
Maybe those men were happily married, but I wonder if their wives were.
There is a heck of a lot of difference between someone who does something they feel is morally wrong and a sociopath. Sociopaths don’t HAVE morals, no matter what they may say. If they want it, it must be right. No one else counts. It’s difficult and maybe impossible for a normal person to understand how single mindedly selfish they are. They live in their own worlds and admit no one else. They are gods, and have the perfect right to destroy at a whim. They enjoy chaos, so long as it happens to others.
I had one of those easy going spaths, I rarely saw him angry. When he did blow, he was a totally different person. The signs of a sociopath were very clear then, but I didn’t know them. I think it should be required reading as soon as you are old enough to be interested in dating. So many of us have similar tales it feels like they are the same person. At one time the idea of someone killing a cow by beating it to death would have been totally alien to me. Now it is much too easy for me to imagine.
nolarn:
I feel your pain. An affair is painful for everyone involved. It’s truly a no win situation, but I will tell you what I have experienced. You or me will never, never, never, never, ever get any sympathy for being the other woman. I have been there and it is one of the worst feelings ever. So yes, the wife is hurt as hell, but so is the OW, but the OW will NEVER get any consideration. I have found that extremely frustrating especially when I was DUPED. UGGHHHHH. So I am the BAD one because some spath conned me????? I had friends turn on me (not permanently), but just say extremely cruel, rude things to me. I am a really sweet, compassionate, sensitive person and was so hurt when these friends turned on me, but people in general have no sympathy for women who are involved with a married man. That is just the world we live in.
Peace to you lady. I wish you all the best this world has to offer you…
romanticfool no more:
The cow killing story is the most crazy thing I have ever heard. So sorry you had to experience that. Truly.
The only reason that I allowed myself to be brainwashed by the spath and give up my morals to be the OW, was because I didn’t think I deserved anything better. I was carrying around the shame from the rape 18 years ago that I never reported and never dealt with. I wouldn’t let myself feel the pain. That’s when I became a spath magnet.
well if they lie and say they are not married, or seperated, or oh she/he is just a roomate…but your right the ow/om get’s no sympathy, but they do get a life lesson..
nolarn:
I can understand that. At least you KNOW what your issues were and why you became a magnet. What is my excuse?? It’s almost worse to make these mistakes and not for the life of you know why. At least you can work on it. Maybe I need to go to therapy to see if I can maybe uncover reasons I don’t even know exists.
eb-what you said made my cry and I really really appreciate it. You sound so much like me and like me story. All my friends but a few turned on me too. I ended up getting blacklisted at a hospital here in town because after he and I had been together for 8 months, the wife decided to get a job at the same hospital where I was working. When the shit hit the fan and she threw him out and filed for divorce, she told EVERYONE she could get to listen to her at work. I’m so glad that I have you on here because you are the only one who can relate to how it feels. I almost ended my life over it. I couldn’t deal with the shame. It was just as bad as my rape-nothing but shame and guilt.
Hens:
Yeah, I am over that “separated” shit. NEVER again. They always go back.
Yes, I learned some beautiful lessons!!! So beautiful I can hardly stand it!
nolarn:
Now I am teary eyed. Yep, it can really bring a woman down. And unless someone has gone through it, they just don’t understand. I just pray it never happens to them. It is hell just as I am sure it is hell for the wife. Again, EVERYONE suffers EXCEPT maybe for the man. Sometimes they suffer, too, but in the end, they always end up on top. They go back, they have their family again, they are still married, they are settled. What do we have?? Like you said…nothing but the shame and guilt.