With all the uproar over Arnold Schwarzenegger and his “love child,” our friend Ann over at WomenExplode.com just wrote about her own experience of a cheating husband.
Read I can relate with Maria Shriver ”¦ at WomenExplode.com.
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Louise
nolarn:
Yeah, I think all cheating men use the same tactics with telling the OW all this bad stuff about the wife, etc. It’s all a ploy. Although, with mine, there were some deep seated issues there…that is why he was separated in the first place.
Oh and I can’t believe he actually told you after the fact that he would lie to her, do anything to get her back! Wow. I wish we could gather them all up and put them on a remote island with no food and water.
Funny you should say that about building you up so high you could fly…that’s how I felt. It felt fantastic at the time. Little did I know the pain that was going to follow…
KatyDid
romanticfoolnomore:
Am in agreement with you about some of the ow. My husband is SO charming. I am sure some dismissed that he was even married, b/c if he was married then why pursue them? Right? What they didn’t know what he set them up from the get go. By chosing a married man, he already put them one down b/c any woman who’d go with a married man deserved to be abused. DId I mention my husband at least started our marriage as kind of a prude, looking down on cheaters, ridiculing them, etc. My husband said he NEVER cheated b/c if he didn’t WANT Them, then it wasn’t cheating!! As I said before, my husband would changing the meaning of a word, so if I asked him whether he was cheating, he’d claim to be telling the truth, BUT according to HIS definition, a defintion no one else knew.
I asked my husband after the first woman, why he lied. He said it was b/c he was afraid I wouldn’t take him back and he couldn’t bear that thought. Don’t that melt the cockles of yer heart? Ohhh. Believe it or not, there were people who thought that lie ADMIRABLE. *&^#@!
ElizabethBennett
eb-I wish mine would fall in the Mississippi River across from downtown. He wouldn’t make it out.
Louise
nolarn:
Wow. He sounded extremely cruel. All they want is SEX. That is what it all boils down to and when they are done with us, that is it.
Stargazer
Nolarn,
I had this big long post written out for you, but I’m deleting it after reading the other comments. All I want to say is that I am not judging you and I hope you can forgive yourself some day.
Hugs,
Star
ElizabethBennett
“Any woman who would go with a married man deserved to be abused”-and on that note I say goodnight. Peace out ya’ll.
Stargazer
You know, my spath was married too. He lied and said he was in the process of divorcing, but technically I slept with a married man. I don’t feel the least bit of shame because he lied to me. Also his wife knew exactly what he was. She divorced him at one time for pathological lying, then remarried him. I (and the army) believed she stayed with him to live off of his pension. We believed she knew he was lying about his head injury and wanted the money he would have gotten if they had given him a medical discharge. The whole scene was sick. I’m so glad I walked away from that.
Louise
KatyDid:
Oh, believe me, I saw what the spath was doing triangulating me with this OW even though he was MARRIED…jerk!!! And that is why I finally just left my job. I refused to fight over a married man. That is nuts! And my X also has no intention of divorcing. I did not know that at the time of course, but that is the reality. And believe me when I say…of course I understand as the wife you have everything tied up…you have a house, kids, finances, etc. That’s something the OW has NONE of so I TOTALLY get that. After all, I am a smart woman, but those spaths are so convincing it is unbelievable.
Yep, we meant nothing. I understand that absolutely. And it’s sad. But I wonder all the time…does the wife even mean anything to the spath??? Or is she and family also just a ploy so he looks like an upstanding family man? I have to say that I believe that is what mine thinks. Oh, and I also am totally aware that they keep supply on the line so that we might be useful for the next round of drama with the next victim, but it is most likely that will NOT happen to me because I am not in the workplace anymore so I am of no use. It would be hard to use me to make someone jealous if I am not even there.
Peace to you…
Louise
KatyDid:
But you don’t think your X was only manipulating you when he was professing at the beginning of the marriage that men who cheated were bad…looked down on them and ridiculed them????
Louise
But what if THEY choose US and begin to con us??? I didn’t CHOOSE him!