With all the uproar over Arnold Schwarzenegger and his “love child,” our friend Ann over at WomenExplode.com just wrote about her own experience of a cheating husband.
Read I can relate with Maria Shriver ”¦ at WomenExplode.com.
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How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists
Nolarn:
Hey, cleaning is good! It can be therapeutic, but I hate doing it myself. Not sure why. It will get better; it will. I know it doesn’t seem like that now, but it will and it does. This time last year, I didn’t think I was going to make it, but I have turned a corner and hope to keep turning.
eb-If I could just get some assistance with bills set up then I will feel better. I have orientation on June 10 for a major hospital system through the temp agency-that way I can pick up shifts at all their hospitals. I also got the name of ICU manager at the big hospital who has my application. I am going to write her a letter and send her a copy of my updated resume with references and a letter of reference and see if she will interview me. If I could get work and stay busy than I wouldn’t be so focused on DK next door. I don’t want to focus on her but right now I am having a hard time not doing it due to my situation.
Nolarn – No matter how many “nos” you get, you only need one YES”……AND IT’S COMING. It just likes to take its own sweet time getting here.
Yeah, I was upset… first it was a shock… he told me in a 10 min break of the soccer World Cup games. I had to make a silent exit with my head down, his parents not even knowing why. 5.5 years. Only the last week I started to notice something was off. He didn’t want to help me out with my end project, nagged about it, dragged his feet. I had worked tremendously hard to get my paper pratical and theoretical in. Cum Laude on both. But he said he had been doubts about it for a couple of months by then. He just didn’t want to ruin my last graduation year of my master. But he was an honest guy on everything else. The year before we had both had a crush on someone else, but didn’t act on it, and simply told each other. Then I had suggested a trial separation for 2 months, but he didn’t want to lose me then.
We tried to stay friends, but after 2 months my anger started to finally rise. I met up with him to tell him how angry I felt and that I couldn’t be friends with him. Before I could tell though, he was suddenly telling everything he was doing: he was going out, mixing with people, he was traveling to California for just 5 days. I always wanted to travel or go out, but he couldn’t be dragged outside of the house. My ID-crisis became clear on NY-eve, when he suddenly said he just wanted to remain at home and rather not go to the NY party with my friends. The next day I found myself crying over nothing, when my mom critted me over not having done the complete dishes.
Anyway, when I heard him talk about finally doing all the things I had always wanted to do with him, I got just even more mad. He was totally surprised when I told him how angry I really felt and why I had done the meeting. He even said, “Maybe let’s try again, make a go of it again.” It was what I had silently hoped he would be saying. But when he said it, I realized the hurt was still there, and I didn’t want to try anymore.
After a while though it got better. And once I discovered my true adventurous nature, my identity, that’s when I realized how him and I were simply a bad fit from the start. After 2 years I was happy that I wasn’t with him anymore. And then I met Inspiring Soul.
My first bf was young too, so I have long forgiven him. He didn’t know any better. Nor did I. We were each other’s first sexual partner, and first relationship. He was in every other respect a decent guy. He’s now married and has a kid that is going to elementary. My mom ran into his mom with his wife, and she couldn’t help notice that she looked very much to me in appearance.
Hate soccer though… completely… Am allergic to it, and not just because of the break up. Him and his dad watched it 5/7 days. Sigh
darwinsmom:
I have always heard to never try to stay friends with an ex. It just is never a good idea. What do you think about that? I am not surprised that he married someone who resembled you. You were his first love; he will never forget you. He was probably somewhat trying to recreate that with marrying someone who looked like you.
I do like soccer, but it’s somewhat boring. I watched a match yesterday between Man U and Barcelona. But I much prefer my American football…way more action.
nolarn:
I have a good feeling about this. I see a job coming along soon! You have all the credentials and are a great nurse…it will happen!
eb-I really hope you’re right because I am getting really tired. Now I can relate to the tired that my neighbor feels when all the people wear her out. All the anxiety and stress about not finding a job is wearing me out. I honestly wouldn’t mind if they cancelled me on the surgery floor tomorrow because I want to be alone to deal. I’m exhausted. I have been under severe stress for 18 years since the rape and I just feel totally burned out and exhausted.
Joanie
Well, I don’t know for sure that my spath’s ex-wife (and now, wife again) new about all the women.
but I made sure she knew about me – I called her – I was occasionally visibly present – and it was fairly clear by the way she treated me (ignoring me / freeze out) that other women had come and gone. I wasn’t the first.
My spath had this way of ensuring all the women in his life KNOW about all the other women. He hints, he suggests, he does these outrageous things…..and when you call him on it, he denies it.
In any case, the former ex-wife is remarrying the SPATH, or already has. I just can’t get over it. She might just be in denial, but I don’t think so. I think she has some degree of awareness and blocks it out?
I don’t know, that’s why I asked you about your frame of mind. I’m trying to understand it.
SK