With all the uproar over Arnold Schwarzenegger and his “love child,” our friend Ann over at WomenExplode.com just wrote about her own experience of a cheating husband.
Read I can relate with Maria Shriver ”¦ at WomenExplode.com.
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How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists
Nolarn:
I know what you mean. I wore myself out for quite awhile stressing and worrying about everything I had gone through, but I must say this LF site has helped me tremendously!!! Thank you everyone! It really opened my eyes to the way “they” really are and that absolutely nothing will change them or stop them so why even bother? Plus, mine is married so I refuse to get caught up in that. Funny…because I was soooo stupidly in love with him, I think nine months ago I was willing to see him even being married (which we never did, thank God). But now I see how stupid my thinking was. I am becoming much clearer. One of the questions that keep swirling in my mind though time to time is how in the world has he stayed married and maintained that facade?? Having kids I guess is keeping him there, but bigger than that, I suspect it is all just about his image. He wants the married, family man image while he is still out there sleeping with whoever he wants. And the wife loves him and has his kids, home, etc. She’s not going anywhere and he knows it.
eb-the end of your post is absolutely identical to my spath and how he is about the family man image and all that. The only difference is that his daughter is grown already. I am just exhausted of it all. I am so tired of everything going wrong and I can’t stand paying my rent late-it pisses me off-it’s humiliating and not being able to pay my car payment is also humiliating.
92044
He has picked a really nieve woman. she was specially selected for her faith in humanity. This is a woman who thinks we are all alike deep down. That we all have some goodness. Does she go to church? that’s a great place to find them. She is who I was.
Years ago, I read in my horoscope that my fate was to lose my faith in humanity. I was perplexed, but I never forgot that. Then it happened, and I got it, I knew what losing faith in humanity feels like. It’s finding out your soulmate was a spath and that it was easy for him to dupe you because he had help from so many people. Friends, relatives and strangers. My own parents could have warned me when they overheard him say, when I was 18 years old, that he was only with me for my money. But they waited until all my money was gone – 25 years, to say anything.
Yes, I lost my faith in humanity, then. But it’s only in replying to you NOW, that I understand WHY I lost my faith: It’s because I had too much faith. I was just like your spath’s wife and just like Maria Shriver. BTW, she’s catholic right? seems like most victims are.
skylar:
Yes, she does go to church and she takes the kids, too, which I am grateful for that. The spath does NOT go (of course); he is pretty much an atheist. He did not find her at church. They have been married about 18 years I think and met in college.
Interesting…I get that. They sure do have help from everyone, don’t they?? It’s amazing to me. The same with mine. All kind of people enabling him…his wife, his coworkers, his subordinates, even his own boss! Wow, your own parents didn’t warn you?? That is very cold. You must have felt like you were taken by your own parents.
Of course people like us have too much faith in humanity…that is how and why we were duped. Too trusting. Yes, Maria Shriver is catholic, but my spath’s wife is not. She goes to a Presbyterian church.
skylar:
I am not catholic either. Just Christian! 🙂
nolarn:
I know…it is humiliating and makes you angry that you are not able to pay for rent and your car, but this is temporary. You will dig yourself out of this as soon as you get that great nursing job and things will be better in your life!
eb-I just hope someone can get me some assistance on Tuesday when I go in. I don’t know what is available or how to go about obtaining it. I am going after counseling on Tuesday.
nolarn:
Maybe they can guide you at the counseling center on where you should go or what you can do for help?
eb-they already gave me a referral and that is where I am going after the counseling on Tuesday. My counseling is through Catholic Charities and the referral is for Crescent House for assistance. I am so deeply depressed about not having a full time job. It is getting to me really really bad. It’s making me just wanna go to bed and put the covers over my head. I am sad all the time.
I’m an atheist, and have morals and values… humanistic ones. And I’m also spiritual, but without believing in a divine creature, before- or afterlife.
My P was Catholic. Never noticed it in Nicaragua, but here in Belgium, he’d start to talk about Jezus and God, once in a while. He wanted me to watch “The Passion of Christ.” While I respect the right for someone to have religious beliefs, including Christian ones, there is much I do not allow into my personal sphere. The Passion of Christ I know because of reviews of others is heavily focusing on the guilt-tripping of humans for someone sacrificing himself. And imo guilt-tripping people for all their lives is one of the worst motivators in my very personal views. I don’t want to be confronted with it. And I told and explained P very clearly that it was a movie I would refuse to watch. However, I did tell him that if he felt like watching it, I would have no problem if he rented it for himself and watched it while I was off to work. One day I returned home, and found tears rolling from his cheeks, and the movie he was watching was finished, the end credits rolling across the screen. I asked him gently, “Did you just watch the Passion of Christ?” And he said he did (the dvd case proved it), and I gave him a hug. Strangely enough, I’ve seen him cry a couple of times with movies. One was about the Jewish resistance army in the woods with Craig Wise. He didn’t seem to understand tragicomedies either. The Full Monty is a comedy, but also tragic because it’s about guys who can’t find a job, etc. And all he could say was, “When does it get funny? I don’t like this movie… it’s too depressing.” Maybe the humor and self-laughter with our own myseries in life at times is too subtle for spaths to understand?
Anyway, I know plenty of highly moral atheists who are idealistic and humanistic (and part of Jezus story is humanistic). And there are atheists who don’t give a damn, and use it to mock religious people. The same applies to people who follow a religion: some are highly moral, some don’t care and use it as a mask.
And then there are spaths… I can imagine how a religious person would regard them as godless. I just think of them as devoid of humanity.
🙂