With all the uproar over Arnold Schwarzenegger and his “love child,” our friend Ann over at WomenExplode.com just wrote about her own experience of a cheating husband.
Read I can relate with Maria Shriver ”¦ at WomenExplode.com.
- Menu
- Skip to right header navigation
- Skip to primary navigation
- Skip to main content
- Skip to primary sidebar
- Skip to footer
How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists
Interesting conversation…..immigrants from other countries come here to try to improve themselves one way or another….most of us had ancestors who came here, an d few had ancestors who met the boat, but the greater percentage whether they came in the the 1600s or in the 2000s came here to better themselves from bad situations in their home countries. Some came here to work, some to deal drugs, but whatever the “job” once they got here it was to “better themselves.”
I didn’t grow up in ABJECT poverty, but my step dad was a school teacher and my egg donor worked as an accountant and we lived very frugally but I had all I NEEDED. I have been in many 3rd world countries, both “christian” and “Muslim” from South America to Southern and eastern Africa….and I have seen people who had neither enough to eat or enough clean water to drink, and were DESPERATE.
DESPERATE people will do DESPERATE things to “better” themselves….and one of those things for women is to find a “powerful” (or at least more powerful than they are) man and attach themselves to him by sex and/or a child.
In many poverty stricken cultures this is the ONLY way out for a woman and in some cultures for a man to have a “mistress” in addition to a wife is not counter to the culture, and is fairly acceptable in reality if not legally or openly.
The mother of Arny’s child may very well have been focused on this aspect of her own desperation to attach herself to a powerful man in order to protect herself and her other children as well as the “love child.”
There are available today on the internet “mail order brides” from all over the world where women will essentially marry a stranger just to get a green card. Some of these women ARE psychopaths…some just desperate to get enough to eat and out of the horrible conditions in which they live.
IN much of the world, unfortunately, women are worse than “second class” citizens, they are chattel property of their fathers or husbands, and have little or no say in who they marry and are unable to find support even in the most abusive of arranged marriages.
Remember that little girl whose father in law cut her nose and ears off (her picture was on Time Magazine cover) because she ran away from the horrible beatings she received from her husband’s family….even her own father refused to take her in when she went to him. She was less to him than a dog being kicked.
I don’t condemn some of these women for doing whatever desperate thing they have to do to survive—however, Arny’s maid did have a job where she made darned good money, and she had a retirement plan and she was NOT destitute by any means and she knowingly went ahead and had sex with her boss in her boss’s house, knowing what it would do to her boss’s wife if the wife found out. So, I don’t have a lot of empathy for this woman, but it might explain some of what went on considering from the culture and back ground she came from.
My main disgust is focused on Arny. He is a slime ball Me thinks. I hope Maria’s pit bull divorce attorney cleans him out.
Oxy, YES!!! Like I said the maid should be sued up the yin yang. She is certainly living the life of Riley at the cost of HER SON and Maria and her kids. Sick!!
“DESPERATE people will do DESPERATE things to “better” themselves”.and one of those things for women is to find a “powerful” (or at least more powerful than they are) man and attach themselves to him by sex and/or a child. ”
This was my point exactly. I don’t care if she’s from Tookamunga she did just what you said and I see women doing it all the time (and some men who are gold diggers too-look at Za za Gabor’s husband) Don’t know how to spell her name…
Yes let’s not take the focus off Arnold. Looks as if Maria has hired a PI to sniff out all the other kids he may have from who knows who.
I hope she nails his ass to the wall!!
“eb92044 says:
behind_blue_eyes:
Uh, oh”maybe they were the same person?”
Was he gay?
Side note, I truly believe the “british charm” allowed me to ignore red flags I otherwise would have not…
Darwinsmom I knew there was someone here who has a connection to Central America. At 53 I am suffering from CRS! Thanks for giving your insight. TURD GF is not from Nicaragua but close. Don’t want to say because I know there are many many really good folks from her country and don’t wish to offend.
You are right on that even those from the upper crust can be very corrupt (and some of the poorest of the poor can be the best people). I wasn’t generalizing just saying that the one’s I know of are ruthless in their attempts to gain a foot up on the social mobility ladder.
So sorry that you have such yucky remembrances of him. I hope you are carrying on and getting some healing. I know I am with LF.
I think TURD GF is both. Ruthlessly surviving and spath. I won’t go any where near him not just because I am in NC but because I do not trust her. She could go postal.
behind_blue_eyes:
No, he is not gay as far as I know…hahaha!!
I TOTALLY agree with you…the accent definitely had a big impact on what happened to me. I tried to tell myself that was not part of it, but apparently it had to be. What is it with these Brits??
behind_blue_eyes:
Yours wasn’t married was he?
eb92044;
One of the manipulative things he did was to storm out of a very fine restaurant after I merely asked if he wanted to go back to my place after dinner. Outside, he told me that “you offended my british reservedness…”
Keep in mind this is come from a mid-30s gay man. Yet I figured that maybe he really was reserved and became embarrassed that I gave the appearence of “moving too fast.”
Online, in one of his many profiles, I learned his hobbies are “boys, beer and fooling around.”
In fact, his online trail presents strong evidence of his sociopathy, given these profile portray somebody almost 180 degrees opposite from the person I dated…
Mine was not married, although per my post above I saw a tweet which *may* indicate a civil ceremony to another man, or it could be just a joke…
behind_blue_eyes:
Wow, he sounds confusing as they all are!! Boys, beer and fooling around…that doesn’t sound very reserved. Just another manipulative ploy to make you believe he was “shy.”
It looks to me like the maid really did “WORK” for Arnold. And the kid was like a perk.
While the entire world feels horrible for Maria, and they should, I feel very sick for that boy. Ok he probably has wanted for nothing, he got to see his dad all the time too. He also got to see his own half siblings . Did he know his dad was Arnold? Did he know those kids were his half sibs? Did he get to live with them knowing this or not knowing this? Why did they move out? Because he was told the truth and it devastated him when they did? To realize who he was and that he was living there as ” THE MAID’s Son” all that time? Did her husband know it was Arnold’s kid all along or was this news to him too?
I just can’t help but feel for that boy, and his half sibs. They had to have played with him.
Now what do they all do? How do they all feel?
Were there times his half sibs snubbed him? How do they feel now?
Arny was going to take care of his children, and he kept them all together under one roof, and he wanted that boy near him.
What ended that?
How tragic. Its a real life, modern day tragedy.
The philandering in the culture of Latin America can find its root cause in the days of slavery and colonisation. Although the slaves were often allowed to marry, the men were sent to different plantations at some point in time, far away from the wife. The slave men would then eventually have a mistress at their new home, but still be married, and so on. This created a cultural philandering combined with wanderlust, but where the married woman who is the mother of a man’s children still has an above rank status.
It’s not that I do not disagree that poverty makes people seek for desperate measures. We just need to look at the accidents that happen at sea all over the world with unseaworthy boats filled with economical refugees hoping to make it Babylon (the refugee nick for Europe) or North America.
Guatemala, Honduras and Nicaragua are the most torn countries of Central America and most impoverished, through the civil wars that raged until the 90s last century, as well as corrupted through fraudulous international loans where the lent money never arrived at its destination (in the case of Honduras, most of the loan that makes them so poor stuck to the hands of the Brittish, and the railways never got built). But each of them has a different history and so have their own uniqueness.
Guatemala has a high percentage of indigineas, and most of the death squadrons for half of the 20th century targeted them. When peace became official, the death squadrons who used to kill people still had their weapons but no official targets anymore. They are the ones who turned to terrorizing communities for criminal reasons. And they are ruthless: many robberies end with killing other locals over little of a few hundred dollars from the cash register. Justice is so corrupt that civilian communities have turned to lynching a perpatrator, not only to protect their own lives and communities, but also to protect their livelihoods – the tourists.
Nicaragua is like Mexico predominantly mestizo (mixed), and Garifuna (Cuban or Jamaican slaves that fled and arrived at the Central American carribean coast and settled there), much like Honduras. Both the revolution and the contra-revolution demolished and bankrupted most if not all societies’ governing structures: justice, police, politics. Although they still have a good network of high school education and universal health care (that is good and reliable… plenty of people from the US go for their dental work to Nicaragua). A particular social problem there are teen pregnancies. Abortion is illegal, and frowned upon because of Catholicism. Add the fact that unemployment rate is very high. And you get a situation where motherhood gains a cultural status to be sought after. As a result there are of a lot teen and adolescent women (16-20) who wish to become a mother as fast as possible. And of course most of the fathers of a similar age are unprepared to commit to this. The fathers are then generally rejected as worthless, while the young mothers get a victim status. The young single mother living with her parents is a common sight, even in middle class environments. And often if you know one to be pregnant, most of her friends and sisters and cousins wil either also be pregnant or be pregnant soon. While in a general way it takes two to tango, and the fathers should own up to their responsibilities, it is likewise very unrealistic to expect teens (male and female) to form responsible and life lasting bonds. I know that many women in other Central America tend to be young when having their first child, especially the indigineas women, but I have never seen it in such a disproportianate way as in Nicaragua.
And yes, a foreign woman or man, often means a possible ticket out of the hopeless situations in that country as well as earns them a status of succes. But most couples I know are together because of each other, not pure golddigging. Nicaraguans tend to have a huge pride about their country (just mention the border river with Costa Rica to them and it becomes evident), and while some emigrate through a relationship with a foreigner, many also prefer to stay and have their international partner come and live there.
During my relationship with my ex P I grew to dislike Nicaragua, because of the “us versus them” situation and in particular the town he’s from. Since the break-up the fog has started to life slowly, and I can see how much of the evil and unsafety came from him and his ties to the criminal layer in society. As a consequence I can see again that most people there are decent people who wish to warn tourists from trusting the wrong people and work hard to make the best of things, in the hope of leading both a happy and more secure life.