With all the uproar over Arnold Schwarzenegger and his “love child,” our friend Ann over at WomenExplode.com just wrote about her own experience of a cheating husband.
Read I can relate with Maria Shriver ”¦ at WomenExplode.com.
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How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists
LOL “no one is truly evil….” ROTFLMAO LOL Choke snort snarf! Yep!
Star, you are entirely right in your assessment….and that is the thing that too many people REFUSE to see or acknowledge. It took me a LONG TIME to come to the conclusion that I can “forgive” someone and still not restore a relationship or trust with that person. My own spiritual walk finally came around full circle where I saw the light that I could make up my OWN MIND about what the Bible teaches and did not have to accept carte blanche anyone else’s opinions (the only other option being to burn in hell forever) LOL
My MIL is her own kind of special spath, using her religion as a stick to beat people with. SHe knows the way to hurt and control people is through their children. So she’d befriend children, and then divide families.
But what amazed me is how people excused HER b/c she was “Christian” and approved of her b/c she has Christian motives. Just say you are Christian and people forgive you anything…. That logic Amazed me.
You know, before I met the spath, I was alway an open-minded and non-judgmental person. And I am STILL an open-minded and non-judgmental person. I will not let a stupid spath take that away from me. HOWEVER, I have learned something very important from him. That there really are some evil people out there. Everyone is NOT good deep down. And all I need to know about judging them is to protect myself from them. That is the one time you want to truly call a spade a spade because it could mean the difference between life and death.
I disagree with you Oxy – “there are people that are truly EVIL….you have not met my MOTHER…..~!
Katy, I once saw a documentary about a city in Texas somewhere – I forget which one. I want to say Dallas, but can’t really remember. In this town, there was a huge population of fundamentalist Christians. They liked to go to prisons and homeless shelters or door to door and try to convert the poor “sinners” to their ways. Ironically, this town also had the highest crime rate per capita in the country. It seems that the type of “help” those Christians gave them *forced down their throats* had the opposite effect of helping. Imagine that. I remember how utterly disrespected I felt when various Christian sects came knocking on my door trying to convert me. They were basically telling me – whom they didn’t know – that I wasn’t good enough the way I was and that they were better than me. Fuck them! They should have walked just a quarter of an inch in my shoes before telling me the right way to live my life.
I have since had a Christian friend tell me that since I am Jewish (by birth) I already have a direct pathway to God and don’t need an organized religion. Whatever that means.
eb, regarding the karma bus moving slowly, this is how I see it with spaths:
When basically good people do bad things, they have to be in denial not to feel the pain of their victims. Being in denial is painful in itself for a normal person. When the denial wears off, they feel pain, and that is the karma. Buddhists believe that you might not get the karma in this lifetime but you will get it in the next. In the case of sociopaths, unfortunately, they do not feel the effects of karma because they never feel empathy for their victims, and they never feel that kind of emotional pain. We hope in our hearts that they will “get what they deserve.” But even punishment and karma is different for them than it is for us because they have no remorse. They may end up in prison or on death row, and they will still be laughing and playing their games, while their victims are suffering. For those who want their spaths to suffer, you may never see it, unfortunately. You may get to see them lose their money, wives, or possessions, or even go to prison. But they will never suffer like the rest of us. Emotional suffering is reserved for those of us who can love and feel empathy. That is why revenge is so pointless with a spath. It will hurt you more than it will hurt them. The best thing you can do is get them out of your life and not waste one more minute worrying about what happened to them.
Stargazer,
I told a couple of the more vicious women that my husband cheated with that I was not vindictive, that I didn’t have to be, b/c HE did it for me, just by being himself. (I told HIM the same.)
I can be a weirdo but I had to reconnect with my humanity (I had gotten numb), so I made a little mission to counter his evil with good but I must NOT get any credit. I found it was really hard to do. B/c it had to benefit the recipient but not be traced to me. Then I just accepted that doing whatever good always blesses the giver. I don’t take credit but I don’t avoid doing good just b/c someone will find out.
Stargazer:
I was gone for awhile this afternoon so just now reading all these posts. What I meant in my post this morning was actually #2…that I observed that you and the spath are both not Christians and viewed the 10 commandments in the same way. Definitely NOT that you are an spath…haha!! No way!! Sorry if I said it wrong. I am not always the best articulator. I try though 🙂
Stargazer:
Thank you soooo much for your post about Karma. It really has me re-thinking some things. It rang true to me. If they can’t feel, how are they even going to suffer? They can’t.
It’s okay, eb. I didn’t take it that way. 🙂 It’s not often my thoughts are compared to a spath’s. LOL