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New research shows that 1 in 3 women worldwide suffer intimate partner abuse

According to the World Health Organization, 30 percent of the world’s women experience physical or sexual abuse by a partner. And, a new study published in The Lancet says that 38.6 percent of female murder victims are killed by intimate partners.

1 in 3 women worldwide suffers abuse from partner, on KTUL.com.

Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.

 

 


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16 Comments on "New research shows that 1 in 3 women worldwide suffer intimate partner abuse"

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Now, we have current, statistical proof for when people try to post ridiculous numbers to the contrary here…

I saw this mentioned in the news on TV and the thing I wished they’d kept quiet was that ALL doctors will be checking into their women patient’s histories,to find the ones who are affected by domestic violence.I thought as I heard this,that if a woman is timid or scared,or her husband prevents her from going to the Dr knowing about this,IT’S NOT GONNA BE A GOOD THING!I’ve mentioned on here a couple of times how I nearly walked out of my gynecologist’s office while filling out paperwork,when I came to the questions about abuse.But I’m truly grateful to him today!!!

It’s true that in some countries and regions,that women are considered a man’s property if they are married,or living together.
The men feel “it’s their business and no one elses” as to how they settle matters.Sometimes religious and foreign culture enter into the picture.As N.America remains a ‘true melting pot’ it is difficult to understand the things some people allow to happen.But then again,those people must remember if they wish to remain in this country,they must live by the laws and customs of this country….not where they’re from.However,for the most part,we’re familiar with people of our own culture.I do know,for instance,that many men where fight lives, have that attitude of dominance.

Proof positive that there are no such things as coincidences, I recently made a new female freind. On our third time of getting together, she shared with me that she was married to a narcissist for many years. She was discarded after the kids were grown. She is still traumatized, and feels worthless. And she meets me!
The things she described sound textbook to what we all have experienced. I hugged her, told her it is not her fault. Shared my own tale with her and as time passes, I plan on showing her what I have come across, including LF. It just amazes me how pervasive in our society this disorder seems to be. Maybe I am paranoid now, but I think one of my bosses is a spath, my Dad, for sure, my Brother, most likely…oh my goodness. And the aftermath of what they leave behind. She still visibly shakes when she speaks of him. It makes me sad and mad.
I am spreading the word of what I have learned here. Thanks again to you Donna, for enlightening us all, so that we can heal and go forth and do the same.

Bluemosaic

A very fortuitous meeting Blue, saddened to read of your new friend’s trauma. I shoke when my abuser got a call through to me a few weeks ago, despite not seeing him at all since I ended the ” relationship” last November. The fear and the adrenaline charge is still that strong and I hope your friend’s healing can begin with the implementation of no contact, and that her adult children will support her as she moves towards what you, I and many others posters now have – a life free of our disordered ex.

Blue,
Sorry to hear about your new friend;I hope you can help her heal!

I don’t know if Nigella Lawson is known outside the UK where she is a celebrity cook and broadcaster. Her husband accepted an assault caution last week from the police after a paparazzo photographed him appearing to choke his wife in broad daylight at a London restaurant. The photographs have ignited a lot of debate here on domestic violence. This is the domestic violence organisation Refuge’s response which makes a lot of relevant points about how much work needs still to be done t educate society including law enforcement about perpetrators of domestic violence. Many if not all of whom are going to be highly disordered, whether socio/ psychopaths, sadists, or anti socials. Critically this horrible case demonstrates that these abusers can be powerful, wealthy, ‘ respected’ and charming.
http://refuge.org.uk/2013/06/21/refuge-response-to-charles-saatchis-assault-on-nigella-lawson/

Tea,
I read the link.How sad when domestic violence is taken so lightly!But I noticed that Refuge kept repeating the seriousness of it~~that 2 women are killed weekly;and that strangulation is one of the methods used! I was glad that it was also repeated that DV is never a one time thing!

One of the comments talked about telling Doctors and that is fine but the majority of them will not listen to them talk about what they are going through. I have experienced this myself and not just with my MD. I saw therapists MD’s, psychiatrists, nurse who dealt with therapy. Not one of them could say to me that you are in an abusive situation. One said I would leave one day. One said it made her sick listen to me talk about it.

I have commented before that it took me thirty years to discover that I was dealing with someone who had sociopathic issues.

How I found out and I had worked for a psychologist who taught this at university level it was through a magazine article on a sociopathy and why people didn’t know what they were dealing with. At the end of the article it said for more information to log into Lovefraud. That said I continue to research and work on my own recovery and recently found an article on ’emotional blindness’. My husband went to a very abusive small private school where he was a scholarship student and was caned every week from the age of seven until he was seventeen. His crime was that he was attention deficit and hyperactive. This was in the Britain in the late 50’s and 60’s.
I was one of the few people if only person who listened to him and eventually instead of having proper treatment for the abuse, his Doctor didn’t believe in stress. He saw a psychiatrist once. I also became unknowingly, his therapist and got to deal with both sides of the coin.
I don’t believe until both professionals and the public are educated to not abuse children and teens and also to what the effects of marital abuse and its destructive effect on the family will there be a change in these numbers. I think it starts with all of us and working together, we would all benefit as the costs of this on society must be enormous let alone what it means to the individual welfare. Thank you Lovefraud and the woman like Donna Anderson who have openly talk and discuss these issues.

Hear, hear panthonyt. And I’m saddened to read of the lack of awareness and sheer ignorance you encountered.

panthonyt: Absolutely right! I live in a wahoo place where people believe that sparing the rod will spoil the child which translates into beat the HELL out of them and screech at them instead of talking to them as if they are little people who will grow up to be whatever they teach them to be. They then pound into their heads that if they are “saved,” they will be forgiven for anything wrong they do. Many do EVERYTHING bad for them and others and then brag that they are forgiven and will reap great rewards now and later. It is pretty creepy and it creates a kind of sick region that is always in the top ten nationally for everything abusive and/or bad for women in children. It is really a lot of abuse (and a lot of illegal and other questionable activities) going on and people say it is from a God! Hitting kids is what tired and lazy people do because it takes a few minutes longer to talk calmly and explain how to grow up and be a decent human being.

I always find that putting the era in posts makes them more understandable. From post WW2 through the 60s, the baby boomer generation, was a very different place. Parents and society in general, had a very different outlook on how to raise children. No one thought good or bad; it just was. I remember going to Macy’s 34th Street, Bloomies, etc. all the time, as a little kid and seeing mothers dragging their children by their hair or kids laying on the floor throwing temper tantrums; no one looked, no one spoke, you just stepped over them.

My parents never hit me or sent me to my room, but they never told me that they loved or complimented me or encouraged me either. I was just doing what was expected. If someone else said I looked nice or behaved well, my mother always answered ‘that’s because I only have her’. I grew up believing that only children were special, better than everyone else. Boy was my misguided belief destructive to me; so many missed friends, opportunities, because someone had siblings.

The nuns were a different story. From K through 3, if you misbehaved, did not have on the entire proper uniform, talked in class, passing a note, they put you in the coat closet and closed the door. From 5 to 12, punishment was standing still on one square of tile, with hands at your sides for one hour.Parents never complained, you got punished more when you came home. Make up was grounds for expulsion. A boy’s school ring or ankle bracelet, would be permanently confiscated and you would get 2 hours of detention. You listened to the rules.

Then the early 70s exploded. I was a fish out of water. More important I was very naive. I never believed that anyone would disobey the rules, would lie.

I could never conceive of someone not appreciating the opportunities they were offered. People went to work, took care of the home and children, fulfilled their obligations, had responsibility, accountability. They did what was expected of them.

Abuse was never mentioned. I had no idea of what abuse was, other than the physical kind. I was shocked when a paralegal told me that the latespath was abusing me, way back, by having me ask my parents to help with law school expenses, while he stayed in the background.

I was a prime candidate for the latespath. I could never see him for what he truly was, rather a kid from the neighborhood who I expected to have grown up with the same values.

Hi FFWR. A wahoo place eh ? That’s a new one to me, but I like it. It’s a shame when people armed with a twisted version of something that in its proper form or context can be really helpfull and then run with it, and with such entitlement. The original scriptural reference was to the rod or staff of discipline. In proper context it’s about giving children guidance, direction, and sometimes reproof or discipline. While not everyone is going to agree on whether or not some corporal punishment is helpful, clearly beating the hell out of them is obviously way out of bounds to say the least. Again the ‘saved ‘ thing is many times taken out of proper context thus obscuring the meaning. Being able to do whatever you want to do without any accountability makes no rational sense. Basic ethics and morality 101 teach us that, right. No accountability and entitlement are incongruent with advanced spirituality or morality.

Hi 4Light:

I began calling these people here wahoos decades ago when I realized what type of groupthink I was up against and was so miserable. For me, yahoos are nice, but just don’t gather much information in life. Yahoos will smile, but they are difficult to have any depth of conversation with beyond “Where do you go to church?” The Wahoos for me became the other 75% of people in my region who were cruel, mean, and hateful without bounds. People who break all the rules they claim to follow. People who will abuse even though they do know better. Not all brilliant, but not all ignorant. They all tell each other, “WE are the ones who know the truth” and then they use a book to attack with that groupthink and piety system where a normal person does not have a chance. I was 16 when moved here and the other kid were doing sexual things I had not yet heard of because they believed they would still be virgins when they got married. They were doing many things I had never really been confronted with in my highly educated, progressive city. Yet, they then would beg me to go their church and often state that I was not “normal” if I was not like them. Wahoos are twisted and caused me a great deal of cognitive dissonance. They use a book to do what they want and say one thing while doing another. Something my previous friends and I never did. It has made me sick to live here all of these years. It is the evilgelical capital of the country.

Now, back to wahoos. I just used that word to describe the mean yahoos. One day, my sister asked me if I had ever remembered reading a certain Dr. Seuss book. I didn’t but it came out when I was 4, so I probably had read it. It described OUR story! And the bad people where the protagonist finds himself are called…WAHOOS! Her daughter had the book and she told me to take a look at it. It was exactly what happened to us. One bad thing happened with a next door neighbor in a very good neighborhood and the next thing we knew, we were being moved halfway across the country where there are more pedophiles, abusers, sociopaths, murders (especially of women and children), child abuse, STDs, and on and on. A place where the evil Wahoo was the norm and WE were the enemy.

I don’t believe in what they believe in. I did before I moved here and for many years afterwards. But, when you live amongst people who, as a large group, use a very popular book to abuse and hate others, and you are empathetic and intelligent, you have to walk away from the nonsense.

So, I just stay in my house. Do what I have to do to survive and my goal is to get back home….which is exactly what the intelligent and insightful character in the Dr. Seuss book did.

I agree wholeheartedly with you. That book is taken out of context more than anything I have ever witnessed in my life. Wahoo relatives who moved here and then did something (I think it was some form of brainwashing) to make my father want to move here. He hated it from the moment he got here and then wouldn’t leave. They tried to brainwash my sisters and me. They succeeded with the youngest one. But, there are two of us who mostly hide from them and now, when one of them asks me “What church do you go to?” which I never heard of as an American conversation starter until I moved here, I am proud to say, “I want no involvement in organized religion and I keep all of my ethical beliefs to myself.” It feels good when I am finally able to be me at this age. I am going to do anything I can to get back home and away from the horrible, horrible Wahoos. Dr. Seuss usually knew what he was talking about.

FFWR I have many times read in your posts your disdain for the regional mentality for lack of a better way to put it. After seeing so much hypocrisy from those who claim to be spiritually enlightened many feel the way you do. And who could blame them. I too have seen plenty of hypocrites, I mean wahoos, and they exhaust me. Please don’t lump me in with them because I too have a book. Through a careful examination I like you have come to see that many of the actions, practices, and overall attitudes of those confessing to love the book are in opposition to its message. Maybe a fresh location would give you a boost. Hope you can work that out. Btw I enjoyed how you used the term protagonist and wahoos in the same sentence. Just struck me as funny. Take care.

Oh, I have the book, too. It’s got my name spelled wrong by my evilgelical grandma! Terrible grandparents on that side. I get bugged by it more probably because of what I’ve seen in Wahooville. I used to go to different churches in the other state. But, I only remember interest and nice people when I went with both grandmothers (before the one went goofy and most of that side of the family went goofy and moved with her), with friends, etc. in my home state. It was never a bad experience….except when those same grandparents came to visit on vacation and went to a big mega goofball place and my parents used to make us feel guilty if we didn’t go….even though my parents stopped going to church soon after they married. They taught us that THEY would be disappointed if we did the wrong thing. My mom used to say that it was very easy to do the wrong thing as a child if one was told some invisible being would get you LATER. But, disappointing your parents in the hear and now was much more viable. I remember my grandmother telling my 5 year old sister to look down at the floor while “tucking us in” when she came to visit. She would make us say, “Stay away from me, old smutty face” like we were talking to the devil. Creepy! When my sister and I were told we were moving to where she lived and this kind of stuff went on, we were devastated. It really made both of us very ill from the time we got here as teens. We have not been OK since. They talk about the devil all the time. Not how I want to spend my time.

I appreciate the freedom to share that I have been abused by a LOT of religious people. Many sites would not allow it and one would be attacked for it. So, I appreciate that has not happened to me here. I really do. I just get bothered sometimes when people assume that everyone is religious and everyone is their particular religion. The religious abuse really is one early component of PTSD from a teen’s perspective, and after a very traumatic move. I actually call it “The Great Kidnapping.” I know I am over-reactive about it and I appreciate that others show concern and encouragement and acceptance of me for that. Thanks, 4light.

There’s a lot of layers of bizarre there FFWR. I had a freak of a grandma too on my dad’s side. Fortunately she wasn’t a big part of our lives usually. When she was there were always devious, deceitful things she just had to do. Most of the time my mom was the target. As you can imagine having a spath for a mom did a number on him and he seldom stood up to her. This infuriated my mom and was a constant theme growing up. My moms mom was also a piece o work, I suspect NPD, but nothing approaching the freak. Probably growing up w a narcissistic mom herself helped her spot some of the issues quicker. She was very protective of us kids. It just baffles me how someone can be so cold and creepy like you said to a young child. I’m a 50 yr old man w no kids, and if im at work or at the mall or wherever and one of those little tiny humans walks by or goes by in a stroller and they interact with me, a smile, a wave, or just as they stare in wonderment like ‘ who in the world is that guy ? ‘ honestly that’s usually the high point of my day. That’s the closest thing to pure joy that I know. I gotta go. Hang in there FFWR, and try to have a wahoo free day.

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