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Rest In Peace Baby Boy – The Courts Failed Us

On October 21, 2012 at 8:38pm my baby boy was officially pronounced dead.  I sit here typing and I am still in complete shock.  I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to write about, but tonight as I sit here I realize that baby boy needs me to tell his story — our story.  It is a tragic story.  It is a story about a guardian angel and his mama.  It is a story about the day I lost my little angel, my soul, and my reason to keep living.

8:30am Friday October 19th:

Baby boy had been running a fever and the night before his fever had spiked again causing another seizure.  I called the ambulance, per usual, and again was told that baby boy was fine and that Febrile Seizure are benign and that I should just take him into the doctors in the morning.

We arrived at the doctor’s office before it opened.  Baby boy was an eager beaver and loved opening doors and pressing buttons.  Even though he woke up with a low grade fever, he was bouncing around and ready to see who was going to be behind the door.  In true baby boy fashion, he beamed with a huge smile when the door opened and continued to bounce into the office and start playing with the toys.

During the exam, I told the doctor about the febrile seizure that had occurred the night before and noted that I wanted them to check and make sure he was ok.  Part of me wondered if they would think I was over paranoid as it was clear that baby boy was healthy and had completely forgotten about being sick.  I told the doctor that baby boy’s father had a court ordered visit the next day and asked him if I should cancel the visit until I am sure he is past the fever.  The next thing the doctor said, I will never forget:

“Febrile seizures are a benign condition.  They don’t kill people.  Are you just looking for an excuse to cancel the visit with his father?  Because his father should be able to handle the fever just like you can”¦”

6:30pm Friday night:

Baby boy spikes another fever, we medicate, and no seizure occurs.  I started to text the supervisor of the exchanges to tell her that I worried he was not over what he had that was causing the fevers.  I asked her if we could reschedule.  She told me that I would need doctors proof to cancel the visit (which I didn’t have as the doctor blew off my concerns) and that if I didn’t agree to her terms for another date she would have to tell Luc that I had refused to comply with the order.  This was a clear threat that she would give Luc the ammunition he needed to fight me in court.  After all of the threats and the fears, I collapsed under the pressure and told her that I would send him on the visit if he woke up without a fever.

Saturday October 20th: Morning

Baby boy slept in and woke up with a huge smile on his face and ready for his morning routine.  He threw blocks at the dogs, hugged me, hugged grandma, and ate his yo baby yogurt.  He didn’t have a fever, so I made the decision to take him to the visit.  I decided that after the confrontation my mom had with the supervisor after the last visit, that I would take him to the visit this time.  (It was the first time I ever dropped him off for a visit with his father)

Just before the visit, I took baby boy into Harris Teeter grocery store.  I wanted to see if they had some more snacks I could pack for him and I wanted to give him a chance to run around and play for a bit before the visit.  Baby boy loved to be independent.  He hit the ground running and wanted to talk to everyone in the store (though nobody understood his special language).  He ran for the balloons and pointed at all the lights.  I chased for a bit and watched him laugh as we played tag.

When it was time for the visit, me and a friend took him to the police station. We were a bit early so I changed his diaper and let him play with the steering wheel of the car.  He wanted to press all the buttons in the car and talked his head off as if he wanted us to know something.  At that moment, I felt him a little warm and started to panic.  I thought, ”˜oh no”¦another fever”¦what if he has a seizure there.’  Then, I remembered the doctors words.  I ran back to the Harris Teeter to get him some fever medication just so that I could be sure he wasn’t going to spike a fever.  I then told the supervisor that I had created a log with medical information and noted the time I administered medication and told her it would be important for Luc to watch him to make sure he didn’t get another fever.

The next moment was surreal.  I looked at baby boy, lifted him out of the car, and hugged him close.  I said, “It’s going to be ok baby.  Mama loves you SO much.  Have a good day baby and mama will see you tonight.”  When I put him in the car, baby boy looked as if he was in shock and appeared worried.  I kissed his forehead and told him how much I loved him.  ”I love you GeGe Bean”, I said to him.  (That was one of his many nicknames)

(Note: This was the last time I saw my son alive)

Saturday October 20th:  Evening

I was nervous all day and anxiously awaiting the time when I could return to the Police Station and pick up baby boy.  I thought about how he would smile and reach for me and how I would breath a sigh of relief knowing that we had gotten through another week.  I was at work making up some hours when I got a phone call from my mother telling me that baby boy was at the hospital again and that I needed to call the supervisor.  I dropped everything and ran out of the office and jumped into my car.

Initially, I tried to remain calm.  I said to myself, “ok so baby boy must have had another seizure and he must have just been taken to the hospital and he is fine just like last time.”  Then, a police officer called me.  He didn’t give me any medical information other than that baby boy was being flown to a different hospital.  It was weird that nobody was talking to me while I was driving.  Why weren’t they telling me what happened?  Why did a police officer call me?

When I arrived at the hospital, I waited a torturous three hours.  I met with a social worker and a police officer all before I even know what had happened to my baby and why we were all there.  As the hours passed, I felt myself dying inside because I knew it couldn’t be good — we were in the pediatric ICU.  Baby boy had never gone there before.

The News:

After hours of waiting and pacing the hallway of the pediatric ICU (just a few halls from where I gave birth to baby boy just 15 months prior), I was finally led back to see him.  As I looked through the glass to the room, my heart broke in two.  I saw my baby laying on the bed unconscious and full of tubes. I went to touch his head and he felt as cold as ice.  I will never forget how cold his hair felt.  I didn’t know hair could get cold like that.

As soon as the doctor saw me going to touch baby boy, she grabbed my arm and told me she needed to talk to me.  She said, “Baby boy suffered cardiac arrest.  We don’t know at this time what happened, but when he arrived at the hospital his heart wasn’t beating and they were administering CPR.  He is not responsive to the medication, he is on a ventilator, and the prognosis is poor. He will likely die.  He will likely die soon. If he doesn’t die, he will have significant neurological deficits.”

I was in shock.  As I stood there with my father, I couldn’t even cry.  I just stood in shock hoping to wake up from this nightmare.  I walked over to baby boy and held his hand.  Before I knew it, a nurse was shoving a chair under me as I fell to the ground.  My word was slipping away.  My baby boy was gone and I was staring at his body.  His soul had already passed on.

The Aftermath:

The next few hours seemed like a blur.  They let me hold baby boy and my entire family (about 12 people) crowded into the room and prayed with me.  I sung to him and cried.  I said, “please don’t leave me baby — mama loves you SO much.”  He didn’t respond to my voice.  He didn’t move.  We just prayed and cried.

Moments later, the nurses shuffled everyone out and told me that they needed to speak with me alone.  As soon as everyone was out of the room, they said that “the father” had arrived and they had to let him see baby boy.  I started to scream at them and tell them I had sole legal custody and that I didn’t want my baby to have to be with his murderer.  They told me that they didn’t care about custody and that I needed to understand that it was best for baby boy to allow his father to see him.  I held onto baby boy and shielded him with my body while I cried.

Luc came into the room twice and made a huge scene.  (He is a good actor)  The hospital staff was getting ready to have “visitation hours” ordered where we would have to take shifts, when I decided it was time to finally put my foot down.  I said, “I know my rights!  Give us some peace!”  I called my attorney and told him to talk to the staff and explain how they were breaking the law.  After hours of distress, they finally backed off and I made Luc leave the hospital.

I sat with baby boy for 48 hours as his body shut down.  Since we were informed that it was a criminal investigation, I was advised that if I could wait out the 48 hours for them to confirm brain death”¦we would be able to get a more accurate read on cause of death without legal distractions.  So we waited.  As my son’s body shut down, the smell was indescribably awful.  His body looked less and less his own with each hour that passed.

Finally, he was pronounced dead.  The nurses handed me his lifeless body, took off the collar on his neck, and unplugged life support.  He died in my arms bleeding all over.  I felt as if I was dying along side of him.  As I felt his heart stopping, I sang, “You are my sunshine”¦.my only sunshine”¦you make me happy when skies are grey”¦you’ll never know dear”¦how much I love you”¦please don’t take my sunshine away.”

Thoughts:

There are no words to describe the horrible feeling I feel every moment of every hour.  I am a zombie moving through life without my heart.  I can’t eat because my son will never eat again.  I can’t sleep because I have nightmares of what he looked like dying in front of me.  I want to go with him.  I want to hold him.  I want to see his smile just one more time.

I have fought so hard to save him from Luc.  I hate myself for deciding to send him over to that devil.  If I had violated the court order, he would be sleeping beside me right now.  I should have run.  I should have left.  I have spent the last 15 months fighting to keep my baby away from a monster.  The justice system failed.  My son will never walk again — never smile again — never call for his mama again — never fly in an airplane — learn to swim and learn to read.

I don’t know who I am if I am not baby boy’s mama.  I have fought long and hard for 15 months.  I fought but I couldn’t protect my baby when he needed me.  There are no words”¦

Baby boy,

Mama loves you SO much.  I chose you.  You are my guardian angel.  I wanted to spend the rest of my with you.  I wanted to protect you from this evil world.  I wanted to show you all the happiness I could give you.  I don’t know how to live without your smiles, your hugs, and everything you are.  Life will never be the same without you.  I will see you in heaven son.  Please know how hard I tried and how much I would everything to be back with you.

Love,

Your Mama

His name was Prince.  He is my angel and I want you all to know our story.

Posted in: Cappuccino Queen

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62 Comments on "Rest In Peace Baby Boy – The Courts Failed Us"

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God Almighty! I am so, so sorry.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I ask for guardian angels to surround you and keep you safe. I too have experienced horrific torture from the Family Court System. If you will trust me, I have used a neurofeedback machine to help with the intense physical reactions that I have had to the trauma I have had to endure with the court system. I am trained and I use it with others who have lost children from domestic violence crime. You can email me at: [email protected]
I love the machine, you can talk if you want, you don’t have to and the machine will work to clear the trauma in your body and brain. When you are ready, email me.

You are still in my thought CQ. I can’t stop crying reading this.
There are no words I can give you that will ease your pain. I am so sorry for your loss.

CQueen…

I have no words. I sit here and cry and can’t imagine the pain and grief you are feeling. So sorry for your loss 🙁 Makes me sad and angry with our “unjustice system.” As always, I’ve admired your strength and transparency. Sharing this must have been difficult. I was just sharing with my fiance that I’ve been reading every CQ blog since you started writing on here, and that as someone who shares 3 children with a spath, I’ve always been able to connect with your story, your ups & downs and advice. You’ve invited us into your world and I’ve felt like I’ve grown to you know you, like a sister from another mister.

Thank you for sharing your story of Mama Bear and her sweet Cub. I know you will continue to fight for him!
Praying for peace and comfort for you and your loved ones.

My deepest sympathy,
Shelly

All of us weep for you. I am so sorry.

Janet

cappucinoqueen,

What pain beyond words.

I am praying for you and Prince. <3

Cap Queen,

I could barely get through your words. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine and I wish I could do something to help you. Big HUGS to you.

Hello cq, praying to Our Lord for your healing and can offer solace in your grief that your faith will sustain you knowing you will see your sweet angel again.

There is so much corruption and legalism involved in courts, and heartbreaking stories of intrusion by courts, judges and the system that break not strengthen families. I know other parents who suffered loss of children through horrendous, outrageous intrusions by family courts. My daughter continues to live but was damaged by outrageous events of the “legal” system. God have mercy on all and pray HE smites our enemies of justice and His riteousness.

CappuccinoQueen , I am beyond sorry for your loss and for the agony I know you are enduring. I am enraged at the system once again.

Do not second guess yourself and torture yourself for choices you really did not make – if not then there would have been another time and you were constantly in the position of weighing what was in Baby Boy’s best interest long term and short term.

Cap- Please don’t let yourself slip away from life in your grief. Let the grief build a fire and help all of us in whatever way we can to fight back against a system more devoted to the rights of evil parents than the well being of innocent children.

To Baby Boy, GeGe Bean – sleep sweet child. Your Mommy will see you and fly with you one day after she has lived fully here for you. You are so loved.

Oh Dearest CappucinoQueen,
I send my saddest condolences for your loss. What a terrible tragedy for you to have to endure. Words are not enough, nothing is. Add my heart to all those others who pray for your baby boy angel, and for you, his fierce mama protector. There will be some tiny pieces of consolation, like how you were able to push the evil one from baby boys room as baby boy gently made his way to heaven. You were his protector angel on earth. Every child should have a mother such as you, your love, your devotion. You were blessed to have each other, a bond of love eternally.

Be gentle with yourself. You were the best and your angel knows it. All my very best I pray for you.

CappuccinoQueen,

It’s impossible to have the words that convey my feelings.

I have been dealing with the injustice courts also. I felt trapped and unable to do what I as a mother felt was in the best interest of my child. I was rendered helpless. I never stopped searching for an answer and running did get looked at as an option and not just once in the 3 and a half years of hell in the courts.

I want you to know since 911 running has become almost impossible and every woman I know of who actually attempted it faced “kidnapping” charges and the abuser was given sole custody. Many mothers ended up with supervised visits of their children only.

Please do not second guess yourself. You were only in the first or second year of this and there are no instructions and very little, if any, guidance on how to navigate through the “system”. Every step you took was from a loving heart and to protect baby boy. The “system” is condescending and belittling to our reality of the dangerous man we know the psychopath to be. You should never have been put in the position to “would of, should of, could of” but it is very normal to go there. You did what you could, would, should to the best of your ability and with absolute love in your heart for your child.

I am hoping and praying you are given a path to recovery with your guardian angels guiding you gentley.

I am so sorry cappaccinoqueen. We all feel so deeply for your loss as we know your story and have come to know you as a friend from your heartfelt writings. I hope everyone who comes in contact with you brings strength for you to help get you through this.

Cappucino Queen,

I am sitting here crying and fighting for breath.

I am so sorry for your loss. So sorry that your son had a P for a father. So sorry for the theatrics you had to endure. So sorry for the ignorance of the medical profession thinking that just become a thing donated sperm that makes him a father and the child needs it in his life.

I wish I knew what to say to comfort you. I have no words.

I wish you eventual peace through love, comfort, and support.

Words fail me. Much love.

Grace

C’queen,

There are no words to convey what I feel…or what I felt Sunday morning when I got up and saw the blog posts about your baby.

My only comfort is that I firmly believe your baby is with God and that God will NOT be mocked and that if your baby was harmed by his father that that man and any other who have harmed a child will be facing a very JUST AND ANGRY JUDGE.

Jesus said that if anyone harms any one of these (children) they would be better off to tie a millstone around their necks and fall into the sea. I believe that with all my heart.

Comfort to you and your family and Peace to your baby boy. God bless.

Dear Cappuccinoqueen,

My heart breaks for you. I, too, lost a child, due to the dysfunction in the family, being married long-term to a spath. My dear son, aged 21 years, took his life 6 years ago last month.

I have been where you are now, and I know firsthand the nightmare you are living. I know this is the worst kind of pain a parent can endure.

I am praying for you and for Prince, that you will survive this tragedy, and use your time left on earth to make a difference for others who also face the devastation caused by these evil individuals. This is what helps me to survive, is that I feel by helping others, and sharing our story, I am honoring my beloved son’s memory. I feel driven to make a difference, so that his life and death have meaning, and hopefully, can save someone else’s life.

Know that you are surrounded by love, from us here on earth, and by your angel, Prince, God, and all the loving spirits in heaven, and that you WILL be reunited with him someday. And you will spend eternity with him, never to be apart again.

For now, take the time you need to grieve this horrible loss, care for yourself, let others help take care of you, and just know that others are sending heartfelt prayers and love your way.

Again, I am so, so sorry for your tremendous loss. Sending much love and many prayers to help you at this time,
Almostlost

Cap Queen

Words cannot express how sincerely sorry i am for your loss. I have read your articles but did not see this coming. My hope for you is that each day brings you more peace in your life. My prayers are with you

Snow

CQ,
I can’t begin to understand your loss. I can’t even contemplate it. I am not strong enough. I can only offer my deepest sympathies and my prayers for you and your family.
Grace

Cappuccinoqueen

Words fail me right now.

You are both in my prays and thoughts.

T

cappaccinoqueen,

You are a tremendous parent, mother. I am very sorry for your loss. One day (and I know that it can’t be soon enough), you will see your son again, in Heaven. He was a gift and you treated him as such, treasuring him very much.

Dearest C’Queen – our love and our prayers are with you during this incredibly difficult and surreal time. You share a bond with the Prince that can never be broken. God bless you.

OpalRose

CappuccinoQueen, I am so, so sorry for this senseless loss and the horrific grief you must be experiencing.

Quite honestly, you are made of a much stronger fiber than I could ever imagine to be. I don’t know how you can dig so deep and write such moving words during the worst time of any parent’s life. Take that for what it’s worth, and thank you for sharing your experiences. It takes courage and something that I can’t even put a name to for you to be able to even communicate during this terrible time.

Brightest comforting blessings

I don’t post much here, but I read and I have been following your story. I am so very sorry for your loss. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to endure this on top of everything else. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Please reach out to those around you for support and love.

Oh, Cappuccino Queen, I am SO sorry!! When I saw the link to this blog on Facebook this morning, it literally took my breath away and as I read, I cried. I have been reading all of your posts and felt connected because I also have a son with a sociopath and have to deal with the insanity of the legal system. There are no words to even begin to convey my sadness for you. I am so sorry that our messed up legal system failed you and Prince. I am sorry that the doctor and staff at the hospital were just as bad. I hope that everyone involved is held responsible. You will be in my prayers.

CapQueen: As I read your story above, my heart absolutely
completely and totally goes out to you.

I understand every fiber of what you are saying.
I know it’s difficult to focus right now and I so hope
and pray that you have your family and dearest of
friends around you to surround you with all the love
and comfort they can.

There are no words to express what I feel for you.
My youngest Daughter had a 2-1/2 year old Son,
my Grandson, murdered at such a tender age.

I had no time to grieve.
I had to be that rock and strength for my family.

He would be turning 20 years old this year.
It’s been so long since I have seen his face.

I hope you will get justice for you and your son,
if it is rightfully deserved.

I believe that sometimes Angels come into our lives
for such a brief moment to show us the way. I feel
that our loved ones who have passed never really
leave us. I will pray you find that on the other side
of your sorrow.

I am so so so sorry, from the bottom of my heart.
Don’t lose sight of the beautiful and wonderful “YOU”
that you are; alright?

If you ever need someone – I am here.
Donna has my email address.

My thoughts, prayers and hugs are with you.
From now until always.

Dupey
xxoo

Cappuccinoqueen,

I’m so shocked and so sorry. I hope you get the answers you need and deserve as to what happened to your sweet boy. And I hope justice is served swiftly and severely. And I pray most of all that you have faith in a loving God and that you know that your little boy is in loving arms as he waits for you, and that you find comfort knowing that you will be with him again one day.

Dear Cappuccinoqueen,

There aren’t any words. I’m so very sorry for all you and your Prince have been though, and for your profound loss.

I’ve read your stories and been inspired by the deep love you have for your little boy – that love is the best thing in the world. Please don’t second guess yourself – it’s clear that you lived your love every single day. That’s everything.

Please, please utilize all the support you possibly can.

Cappuccinoqueen, bless your broken heart. Such a shocking and sudden thing to happen. I wish you peace and comfort, and sweet thoughts of your precious boy.

You are strong to write and post your story; don’t be harsh on yourself in any way. Please take care of yourself amidst the anguish. I haven’t posted for months, maybe years, but I wanted to add my support and caring.

Cqueen,
no matter what happens, rest assured that God knows the truth and His justice will be served. In His own time.

Jesus told us, “happy are those who hunger and thirst for justice, for they shall have their fill”.

(((CapQueen)))
Just dropping some love on this page for ya….

Saying a ‘nite nite’ prayer for you and Prince.

Hugs & Love,

Dupey

I am so so sorry for the loss of your son.

Tears are pouring down my face and out of my heart. Please try to find comfort in knowing that you WILL see him again.

I am crying as I write this. The fact that you shared this with us shows you have strength that I can’t even fathom. I am so sad for your loss. You are in my prayers. I can’t even begin to know what to write. I will be thinking of you and your baby.

Dear Cappuccinoqueen,

My heart breaks for you and your baby boy Prince. I am so sorry for your deep loss, all the pain you are enduring. I weep as I read your story, you are a brave soul for sharing this personal tragedy. Know that your precious baby’s memory lives on with us all.

Wishing you much peace and comfort.
Aeylah

This is such a painful story. Cappuccino Queen, I have thought about you throughout the last few days and my heart has felt like a stone. It’s difficult to think about it without crying. I am outraged at the failure of our so-called justice system to protect you and your young innocent child. It breaks my heart. I don’t know where you find the meaning in something like this. I hope the _________ (fill in your choice of words to describe a subhuman being) is brought to justice. I don’t know you and I’ve only loosely followed your story. But my heart goes out to you. I wish there was anything anyone could do to console you in your grief.

Oh my heavens, CappuccinoQueen. What a horrible horrible thing you’ve been through. My thoughts and sympathies are with you.

I want to wish you strength enough to grieve, to mourn, to withstand the incredible pain you must be going through, to fight whatever fight for justice may lie ahead, and then – eventually – to heal and to come back to some kind of peace in your life. Although your life will never be the same, your words here on this blog tell me that your Prince was a force for good in this world – just as you are – and I hope the memory of your incredible love for him, and him for you, can help to offset the incredible loss you’ve experienced.

Bless you. My heart goes out to you.

Dear CQueen,

Words seem totally inadequate at this time. I have followed your story and felt the deep connection and love you have for that little boy. I am so sorry for your loss my dear.

Dear CappuccinoQueen, I am so very sorry about the loss of your son. My heart and soul are crying for you. I will pray for God to give you comfort during this time. I cannot even imagine. Thank you for sharing your story, it is important for the rest of us to understand how dangerous some of these psychopaths can be.

C Queen – I am speechless. I do not have the words to express my absolute sorrow for your loss.

I am praying for you, Prince, and your family.

Peace and prayers…..

CapQueen, I am so sorry this has happened to you and your beautiful child. The death of a child is every parent’s worst nightmare, and is a fear that is closer to the heart for those of us here on LoveFraud than most. My heart breaks for you!

Don’t blame yourself – you did the very best you could. Bless you and bless little Prince. You will be reunited in time.

CappuccinoQueen, My deepest sympathy and prayers are with you. I am kind of new here but I have read your posts about your love and protection of Baby Boy and thought how lucky he was to have you. I cannot imagine your loss and grief. There is no excuse for what the doctor said. The system failed you. The legal system, the doctors, hospital, are all to blame. There is no excuse for such things to happen. Your courage to tell your story is an amazing tribute to your courage and devotion to your loving child and to justice against these inhuman predators who are a danger to us all. May God bless you and keep you until you meet again.

To the dearest Mama of “baby boy”:

I am so sorry for your loss and the pain it is causing you. Anything I could say would be meaningless. I wish with all my heart I could wave a magic wand and take all your pain away and bring your son back. But I can’t. All I can do is pray for you both. Please know that we are all praying for you and your little boy.

Wishing you peace.

CQ,

I am at a loss for words. My heart broke as I read this post. We must come together to do something about this. Your story needs to get out so that something like this does not happen again. My thoughts are with you and if you need anything, we are all here.

Sending my prayers and hugs from Canada

I have no words for your loss. I have never experienced the pain of losing a child and I can’t imagine it. I do know you still have more of a story to tell. Your life will continue slowly and gradually and I’m sure painfully and then you can tell the story of your Prince in heaven and the story of your life as your Prince as your guardian angel. The story always continues her on earth and in heaven.

Sympathies to you and your family.

CQ~
My deepest condolences. I’m in shock. My prayers go out to you and your family. The system is so broken to not let a mother’s instincts prevail over visitation time.

It’s hard to know just what to say,
When one so young is taken away.
Far too soon he had to part,
His memory forever engraved on your heart.

He was only here for a short while,
But the life he led made his entire family smile.
He was so beautiful and oh so rare,
Life as they say just isn’t fair.

Those gone before him will watch him with care,
Till the day comes when we’ll all join him there.
Know Prince is watching from heaven above,
And with each ray of sunshine, he’s sending his love.

I was so moved by your story and I am so so sorry. You did everything you could possibly do.

namaste and blessings.

Cap Queen,

May you find peace any way possible. I have followed your story and it’s heart breaking, but please for yourself– find strength. I know just by your story you are so strong.

It’s sad, buy if dirt ball Luc had a hand in this (seems likely) he probably did this to try to hurt OR get back at you. Always remember……what you give is what you get. I understand and live it, that spaths never seem to “get theirs.”

When a spath is “stood up to” or the prey defends themself, they want revenge.

Donna, maybe one more red flag is revenge. I have often noticed that.

Cap Queen, may you find peace, may you remain loving, and may God hold you until the grief passes.

Hugs,
HKG

I am so sorry…there are no words to convey the deep ache in my heart for you and your dear child. I also could not get through your story without tears.

Please know you did what you had to do, and my spath also used the parental alienation card on me. I have never understood how the courts can actually facilitate the abuse of a child under the guise of parental alienation. I totally understand your fear of needing to turn your child over so as not to perhaps lose custody or visitation to your monster. It is an insane position that the law puts us in when we are trying to protect our children, but again, don’t second-guess yourself because I have done the same thing, handing over my daughter when she was sick knowing he could not completely take care of her but having to do so because I knew I would be in court if I didn’t.

I hope you can find some type of peace at some point and again, I am so sorry for your loss.

cq- my heart goes out to you, and may God watch over you and ease your pain.

cq- in my belief, you know… babies go back to God. perhaps God has spared him that growing up with a spath, and claimed his soul clean and safe with him. and you are both now free of your spath.

Dearest Cappuccino Queen, you are still in my heart and mind. I hope you are doing “well” and that you’ve got people around you who loves and support you.

Still thinking about you,

Sunflower.

CQ,

I love your handle. You are a bright and courageous soul. Your little guy chose you because of that.

I have found that the guilty agents try to blame the victims. Hold on to your courage and strength. You will need it. I hope the media will give this the attention it needs.

These agents are not trained effectively. They are probably still trying to fit his behavior in the DV wheel that all are given without an explanation to how the abuser uses coercion, especially when you leave them. How their minds are not normal and they cannot protect a child or their mate, all people are for manipulation.

These agencies have accepted millions of dollars in government funds. One source of funding is the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). This act was implemented in 1994. It is very clear about the abuse and coercion and the danger of families who leave. The problem appears to be that Family Court Judges are not required to have training. While the grant specifies training for court personnel. The training is voluntary.

All LF readers need to read this act. Their states must give “full faith and credit” to public acts as per the Constitution. I am asking my state to require training. I am also asking that the DOJ refuse to give grant funding to states that do not require efficient and effective training.

In the 2012 grant, the DV coalition in charge of distributing funds is offering scholarships for judges to come to a conference and take the training. BS, this training needs to be a mandatory webinar, graded and a requirement of any agent working with families.

Be brave, and strong. The corporate agent spath will want to use your vulnerable state and discount and blame you.

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