Many who have been hurt by sociopaths develop a general distrust of others. This distrust is understandable given how difficult it often is to tell if another person is a sociopath. However, going through life with distrust is not a pleasant way to live. Victims naturally then want to know in detail what sociopaths are about so they can identify the untrustables, and go back to trusting everyone else.
One of the purposes of this website is to describe sociopaths and teach people to identify them. Sociopaths are pathological liars who like to talk as experts on many topics. They manipulate others and generally have a high opinion of themselves. They also lack remorse for their actions and don’t seem to care about the pain they cause others. In fact they seem to enjoy inflicting all types pain (harm) on others.
The enjoyment of hurting another person is called sadism. Sadism usually refers to enjoying another’s physical pain. However, sociopaths enjoy inflicting all manner of pain on others including financial, emotional, psychological and social.
To sum it up sociopaths are in the business of reducing people to nothing and then taking glory in their accomplishment.
I have just described the most important “traits” of sociopaths. Many of you are saying, “Yes right on, that described mine exactly.” But are you satisfied?
You probably do not feel satisfied because you are left with wondering why. Why would someone do that? If you discover the answer to the “why question” you can go back to trusting everyone else again because you would understand the sick motives of sociopaths.
Normal people don’t enjoy watching other people suffer do they?
Here is where some get stuck, because many people secretly and not so secretly hope they live long enough to see the sociopath finally suffer. Well, if you can enjoy another’s suffering what makes you different from the sociopath?
If we examine the reasons why we would take pleasure in a sociopath’s suffering, we see there are two basic reasons. One is revenge and the other is our ability to consider the sociopath as “inhuman.” If a sociopath is not really human, then it is OK to enjoy that private moment of our imagined revenge.
There are therefore two basic routes to sadism. The first is through the power motive. Revenge is about reasserting power over someone who has robbed us of power. The power motive is also called the social dominance drive.
I am grateful to Caesar Milan the dog whisperer, for educating the public about dominance. We all know that a dominant dog has no problem inflicting pain on underlings to assert his dominance.
The second route to sadism is called “compartmentalization” by psychologists. A person who compartmentalizes has a motive (drive) to inflict pain on someone and so rationalizes it by saying that the other person is inhuman or “deserves it.”
Interestingly, both routes to sadism operate in sociopaths. Jack Levin and others have written a great deal about compartmentalization in sociopaths. Sociopaths are also ruled by the power motive and so enjoy hurting because it is confirmation they are achieving power.
That gets me to warped empathy. Many, including Jack Levin, have pointed to the faulty logic behind the idea that sociopaths lack empathy. If sociopaths lack empathy then how can they enjoy another’s suffering? If they can’t identify other’s emotions how can they know they are inflicting pain and so get enjoyment? Is there any question that the sociopath that hurt you knew you were suffering?
Most of us have seen clearly the sadism of sociopaths, so we know they must have some kind of warped empathy. Empathy should lead to sympathy with another’s suffering not pleasure in another’s suffering.
In 1982, while reporting the results of a very well done study in which he found that violent sociopaths of normal to high intelligence actually have increased empathy, Heilburn* made the following statement:
“One way to interpret these results would be in terms of a sadistic, effective-processing psychopathic model of violence in which inflicting pain or distress upon another is arousing and reinforcing (pleasurable). Such a model would assume that acts inflicting pain are more intentional than impulsive and that empathic skills promote arousal and sadistic reinforcement (pleasure) by enhancing the psychopath’s awareness of the pain and distress being experienced by the victim.”
Now in 2008 researchers have obtained results that confirm Heilburn’s theory.
Researcher Jean Decety from the University of Chicago found that young sociopath’s brains light up with pleasure when they experience another’s suffering. In this study, the pleasure was especially present when the suffering was being inflicted by another person. How did the researchers demonstrate this? They showed violent movie clips to sociopaths and non-sociopaths then used fMRI to scan their brains.
Most importantly, the study showed no abnormality of the brain pathways involved in empathy. Sociopath’s empathy centers appeared to function just fine.
So how can I help you feel comfortable trusting the 90% of the rest of humanity who are not significantly sociopathic when I have already said that that most people can be sadistic under certain circumstances?
The answer is found again with motives, specifically the power motive. Learn to recognize the signs of excessive power orientation. It is OK to want a certain amount of power, but the pursuit of interpersonal power should not occupy a person’s every waking moment.
Well balanced people enjoy love and affection more than they enjoy power and control. I encourage you to learn to tune into love motives in others. I have found that consciously choosing to notice loving behavior in others has also helped me better recognize the power motive.
Avoid people who dehumanize others because whether or not one who dehumanizes is a sociopath, this compartmentalization is an important contributor to man’s inhumanity to man.
Lastly, I encourage you to stop supporting violent entertainment with your consumer dollar. Such “entertainment” fosters the development of sociopathy in at-risk youth. It also brings out the worst in everyone else.
*Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 1982, Vol. 50, No. 4, 546-557
People really are puzzles, and I would like to add my 2 cents worth which may contribute to the solving of said puzzle.
There was a program on TV about chimpanzees and aggression – was it Dianne Fossey (not sure) – anyway there were some good points which related to us humans.
The part was about a “Demonic male” – the conditions described were
1. The behaviour was only seen in
(a) chimps which lived close to humans
(b) habitat threatened
(c) all chimps were fed on an equal basis
The last point was interesting because normally the dominant individual in every group gets the most to eat – so the natural heirarchy was “equalized”.
2. The “demonic male” in this instance stood out from the get go. He was super aggressive, beat up everyone else, became the top male in group very quickly, was the most expert hunter, bullied other males into joining his group. He was bold, super aggressive, and sadistic.
It was the SADISTIC element which had all the observing humans most intrigued as this demonstrated a quality which made the chimps seem more like us. It was evidence (in their view) of EMPATHY.
This rang true to me because my mother is disordered and I am in no doubt that she gets a real kick out of hurting people.
Power over others is another HUGE part of it.
When I was a kid she made me eat a bowl of sugar every morning for a week. Now that was a bowl of neat white sugar – that’s it, just plain sugar in a breakfast bowl with a spoon – nothing to wash it down with. Trembling and crying in fear I managed to get it down – she stood over me and seemed to enjoy my situation enormously.
She had some idea that by making me eat the sugar like that that I would be cured of my “sweet tooth”.
oh and to continue, she does get excited by weakness in others – she really goes in for the kill, her attacks are heightened almost frenzied.
My father was greatly humiliated by her when he was at his weakest and the second man she was with became very sick and she attacked him in the hospital.
When her mother was comatose and days from death my mother spat venom at her, saying derisively “oh look at her now, look at her teeth, what a vain fool she is, I don’t care that she’s going to die”
My point being being that her degree of viciousness is influenced by the degree of weakness in her victim.
oh and by the way my mother is a proud atheist, she has a real problem with religion in any form. She does not accept that there could be a God, much less there is one.
oh and the sugar thing was just one example of the many things she did.
Atheists
Know God , They just choose evil ! Notice how an Atheist allways fights religion . Instead of Ignoring the weekminded folk!
Dear Puzzle,
I am so sorry that you were raised and abused by this crazed woman.
It is so odd to me that most of “them” ARE atheists even if they pretend to be religious (for control reasons) and it is interesting that they (if they are openly atheists) try to CONVERT people to their view so rabidly. If there is no God, then what does it hurt someone else to believe there is?
It is kind of I think a “whistling past the graveyard” kind of thing, maybe. So that if they are wrong (are they EVER wrontg? in their minds anyway?) they will have some company! LOL
Thanks for your post puzzle, glad you found your way to love fraud, but sorry you “qualify” for “membership” in our club. (((hugs))))
Indi, darling…..
Before you try ordering us “wenches” around, you should LEARN TO SPELL THE FREAKING WORD! LOL
You must be into S&M if you think you can order this bunch of WOMEN around! Remember I am the one with the BIG SKILLET! So watch’yer’self’bub! LOL
I’m afraid, dear, that I am going to have to send you back to fifth grade—have you seen that show! “Are you smarter than a 5th Grader?” Jeff Foxworthy! My hero! So far, only one contestent, who happened to be a school superintendent BTW has been smarter than a 5th grader and answered all the questions.
Oxdrover, thanks for the welcome and thanks for the hugs and things.
My mother is the original know-it-all, and she is full to overflowing with anti-religious zeal. She would try and convert the Pope to atheism given half a chance. lol
It is amazing just how smart they are in their own eyes, they seem to know everything and you must agree with them or be punished.
My mother is a religious zelot, but the rules apply to you but not to her. She probably does more damage to people’s beliefs than your mother does. LOL She almost succeeded in undermining my own faith, but fortunately my step-father was a believing man, and also one who lived his religion, not just preached it. His quiet example was more of a sermon than all her Bible-tumping hell-fire and brimstone condemnations, especially when I caught her lying to my face.
I went NC with my bio-father 40+ yrs ago, but only went NC with mommie-dearest about a year ago. The only one of my sons now in contact with her is my P son from his prison cell for the express purpose of getting money! Which she send faithfully to him in exchange for letters from him, after he tried to have me killed, so my other sons are NC with her now too. Since I am an only child and my 2 bio and 1 adopted sons are all her grandchildren, this leaves her very much alone, but whe is willing to pay the price apparently in order to “protect” my poor P-son in prison for a violent, brutal premeditated murder from his mean old mommie. Saint that she is! LOL
You guys are cracking me up. The “demonic male” LOL. I think this is supposed to be the “dominant male”? And BTW, if anyone wants spelling corrections around here….AHEM. Spelling Nazi here.