I just read the story about Melissa Jenkins, a popular teacher in Vermont, who went to help her neighbors, only to be brutally murdered as soon as she got out of her car.
I am sick to my stomach. Not only because of the stupid, horrific crime, but because I believe the victim suspected something was wrong.
The story in the Burlington Free Press begins:
ST. JOHNSBURY When Melissa Jenkins answered the phone Sunday night, the couple who used to plow her driveway said they were stranded half a mile from her home. Their car had broken down on the remote country road, they said, and they needed her help.
Before driving out to meet them, Jenkins called longtime friend and coworker Randy Rathburn and said she “wanted someone to know what was going on,” police would recount later. She told Rathburn about the “weird call” she received from the couple whose first names she could not remember. She still had their business card and asked Rathburn to write down the pertinent information: the name Prue, a phone number, an address in Waterford.
The fact that Jenkins called her friend tells me that she had a bad feeling about the call for help. My guess is that she was afraid, but chided herself for her fear, convincing herself that she had no reason to worry.
Jenkins should have listened to her intuition. As Gavin de Becker eloquently explains in The Gift of Fear, our intuition has been honed over millennia to keep us safe. The best thing we can do to protect ourselves from predators is heed that inner knowing.
But we don’t. We are not taught to listen to our intuition. In fact, our rational world seems to regard intuition as mumbo jumbo, so we talk ourselves out of our fears.
This is one of the most important points that I make in my new book: Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath. The book is based on last year’s survey of Lovefraud readers. The results showed that 71% of Lovefraud readers had a bad feeling about the sociopath or the relationship early in the involvement. But most of them did not listen to their gut. Instead, they doubted themselves, or felt like they had to give the individual the benefit of the doubt.
My guess is that Melissa Jenkins had those same exact thoughts. If she didn’t, why would she have called her friend to let him know where she was going?
This murder is a tragedy that I suspect could have been avoided.
Read Melissa Jenkins answers a call for help, and then a sudden attack, on BurlingtonFreePress.com.
Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.
20years
LOL, Skylar, was I married to your brother?!? word for word quote from my ex-husband. “you’re always bringing up the past!”
his past transgressions got transferred to me, though: “you hit me!” “you made legal threats against me”
Uhmm…. no. That would be YOU, dear ex-husband, against ME.
Ana
I know first hand how nasty and vile a woman can be. The spath that I knew was a woman (at least I think so). Lie, cheat, steal. On and on….She is truly a disgusting human being.
On another note, my friend Bob who has since passed used to infuriate his male friends with this:
“It’s not the woman in your bed, it’s the woman in your head that’s bothering you” LOL
darwinsmom
Methinks alls spaths are vile liars, cheaters, thiefs… 😉
Louise
Ana:
I agree. The woman I knew lied so much it was unbelievable. They think for some reason that no one will ever find them out. Really???
Ana
Dear Darwinsmom,
Yep, that’s right. 😉
Ana
Louise,
Of course they think no one will EVER find them out. They are far superior to us and much smarter…LOL
You should SEE her criminal record! My husband and I made a bet today. I think will be Oct. before she is evicted again…he say’s ok I think sooner! It’s good to have a laugh at their expense sometimes….
witsend
Skylar,
Holding grudges….Do you suppose that holding grudges is something that is a common for toxic/disordered people in general?
Growing up I noted that my father could REALLY hold a grudge. My mother once told me that my father had held a grudge for over 3 decades with some friends that he once belonged to a card club with. My fathers grudge basically broke up this club that was made of up friends that had been getting together monthly for many years.
She told me at the time what my father perceived these guys had done to him but I can’t remember the details now.
I DO however remember thinking at the time that it wasn’t such a big deal to still be angry about this 30 some years later.
I always wondered why he could never let things go? It seemed the more time that passed the more my father would get angry over “old stuff”.
In my fathers case I always put some of the blame on the fact that he was an alcoholic. Alcohol seemed to “fuel” his fire and also contributed to how he percieved himself as a victim and not the perpetrator in so many situations.
skylar
Witty,
I hadn’t thought of it but it sounds reasonable to me that being stuck in the past is equivalent to the definition of narcissism : emotionally arrested development.
So perhaps their attitude about the past is projection too.
When we bring up the past, they tell us that we are stuck in the past because actually THEY are stuck in the past (but pretending not to be)
They accuse us of everything ELSE they do, so why not this too. LOL!
I’m actually cracking myself up just thinking about how ridiculous their thinking is!
Yes 20years, you were married to my brother. One spath is the same as the next. There is no difference worth mentioning.
😆
Ana
Skylar,
Now, you’re cracking me up!!!
Annie
Skylar, no worries, I knew where you were coming from.
And my apologies – I was a bit grumpy back there!
I have to ask – are you really saying that your ex hated his mother his entire life because she tried to force him to go to school? I must be missing something here…?