Having spent time listening to many psychopathy researchers, I can attest to many times coming away with the feeling that very critical insights are being missed. An appreciation for the bigger picture just isn’t there yet. For me the bigger picture always includes the family. A sociopath may prey on strangers, but usually that is after a lifetime of practice on family members. The reason this piece is so critical is that the personality disorder, psychopathy is a pervasive disorder of human social behavior that affects every relationship the disordered person has.
Considering what this disorder actually is- a pervasive disorder of human social behavior, the perspective of family members becomes very important. Methods of victimization of others also shed light on the nature of the disorder itself. I think this may be the only psychiatric disorder that would not be present if the affected person was lost alone on an island somewhere. That observation is often lost amid the abnormal brain scans and cognitive tests that are sometimes seen in affected persons.
Without the balance of hearing from victims and family members theories of psychopathy can even miss the central features of the disorder. For example, one new theory of psychopathy called the Triarchic Theory, states that the three traits of boldness, meanness and dysinhibition tell the entire story. The theory is actually better than this sounds but meanness is not what the authors of the theory think it is. If sociopaths were obviously mean, there would not be as many victims.
Given the assertions of the Triarchic Theory it is not surprising that the DSM 5 Personality Disorders Task Force proposed that “acknowledgement and articulation of other emotions (than anger) such as love and anxiety is rare.” Researchers need to put their theories into a perspective that can only be gained through real life outside the laboratory. Therefore it is critical that meetings include work on victims and their experiences, as subjective and “unscientific” as this may sound.
The posters Donna and I presented were an opportunity to challenge researchers to consider their words and assertions carefully. Many came away from reading them doing just that. I had to explain why the language proposed for DSM 5 is wrong, as many tried to defend the proposed statement as true.
There were also two posters from Adelle Forth’s group out of Canada’s Carleton University by graduate students Henriette Bergstrom and Janelle Beaudette on the effects of victimization by a psychopath on victims’ relationship functioning and physical health. This group has identified several themes in the narrative stories of victims, ongoing suffering, transformation and transcendence. But they also say those victims who came through the experience stronger did not really describe how.
This group has identified something I think is very important, that is the question of how to survive victimization and grow from the experience. The fact that a relationship with a sociopath has detrimental effects on psychological, emotional and physical health that lasts for years after the relationship has ended, tells us a great deal about what this disorder is about.
Watch the video: Donna Andersen explains Lovefraud research at psychopathy conference.
Yea I turned the kittens loose a a couple of days ago opur tom cat, Shrodinger, took a hike from the barn when he saw them, doesn’t want anything to do with them, but they are female so that will change soon enough I am sure! LOL
SHHHH! Oxy! Don’t tell my parole officer that I’m not completely reformed. I don’t want to get hauled back to never never land by another evil peter pan.
((Ana))
great news that you got a better job away from Steven King land. Your awareness is going to keep you safe. Watch for red flags.
Oxy, yeah, i want to hear about the kittens too.
holy crap this thread is moving fast . Eden about your question a while back . When a psychopath says that something you have said has hurt them ,,,,,,,,,bullshit!!!!!!.
If a psychopath said that to you it is because they know that you are a sensitive person and that you would feel guilt if you said something that had hurt their feelings . Chances are you were dumb founded by their hurt of whatever you said . This is all part of the shut down mechanism . As time progresses you will be afraid to say anything because you will be afraid to offend . With a psychopath it is a head game 24 , 7 and when I say 24, 7 , I mean all the god dam time . Never forget this , there is no let up , no time for a break , just non stop bullshit .
Oxy,
Oh, lawdy, you’re gonna have more kittens! Hey, I’m reading a good book right now. It’s called ” Personal History” by Katherine Graham. At first I could not relate to this woman. She grew up rich, had no idea about money, her father was worth 40-60 million during the great depression, therefore the “depression” did not happen to her! It’s not until she gets married and she has NO IDEA how to cook…lololol that endeared her to me. She works at her father’s newspaper, The Washington Post for $15 bucks a week…it’s pretty good, but you’ll need to get it from the library as it’s quite the volume…who knows you might like it.
Thanks Sky! That makes so much sense! I will act on those most wise words. Have you read the book, Cold Blooded Kindness yet? If not, I think you would find it interesting. For me, It has been an eye opener, and honestly, I can hardly put it down. I have been so busy with work lately, but if that weren’t the case, I would have read srtraight through it, it is so good. Also reading Betrayal Bond. I think you or Ox Drover recommended it. When I read about the book, I thought it wouldn’t apply to me, personally, because normally if I dedect any disfunction in a person, I run the other way. I thought that since this was my first experience with a P, and getting slimed, the book would not be worth my time, but it has not been the case. It is so informative, and has tought me a lot.
Anyway, talk to you soon,
E
Eden, so glad to make your acquaintance! My views are not as honed as some here but I do have my own personal experiences which I feel give me some sort of insight. I am always grateful if I manage to help another even if it is in a wee way :).
EB I consider myself blessed that I have many wonderful church friends whether they are Mennonites or Catholic. I attend regular mass but my Mennonite brethren will always be in my heart and they still help me out whenever I need it. I try to visit their church on occasion. I also have some really good Buddhist friends I still see. Helps me to see that there is no right or wrong in people’s choice of faith. We are all striving to be the best we can humanly be. It’s all about acceptance.
(((((((((((( Eden )))))))))))))))))
Six months YESTERDAY for me!
Humor added is a good thing to do when you’ve been listening to nothing but spath bullshit for months!
You’re doing well. YOU WILL BE OK!
Questy, absolutely right. 24/7 bullshit. Could not have said it better.
Ox, I don’t agree with you all the time, but do respect what you say, even if it pisses me off!
HOpe the ducklings are doing okay!
LL
Quest,
Thank you for that! I am copy/pasting your post, if you don’t mind! When I read it, I feel as though, I am aware of what you point out, but I must not have it come into view, when I find myself contemplating the reasons for this sick behavior of theirs. Yep, you are so right about their awareness of a person being sensitive, and using this crappy tactic of theirs to shut one down. Everything you said from start to finish is so apparent in them. Especially this: “With a psychopath it is a head game 24 , 7 and when I say 24, 7 , I mean all the god dam time . Never forget this , there is no let up , no time for a break , just non stop bullshit”.
I like how someone reffered to their behavior as a creepy Roadshow. I love that. I sometimes run into the P these days, as we work in the same industry, within the same city. Next time I run into him, which could be this Tuseday, if he gives me that horrible, usual, dirty look, I will tell him to take his “Roadshow” somewhere else. I was NO CONTACT for 6 months straight. I’m ready to tell him where to go, and get over his sorry Ass.
Thanks for your input, for sure, quest! I really appreciate it!
Eden
Eden,
I get the smear campaign. Boy do I EVER
LL
Questy,
It’s time for a follow up to O for Umbrella I think.
LL