Having spent time listening to many psychopathy researchers, I can attest to many times coming away with the feeling that very critical insights are being missed. An appreciation for the bigger picture just isn’t there yet. For me the bigger picture always includes the family. A sociopath may prey on strangers, but usually that is after a lifetime of practice on family members. The reason this piece is so critical is that the personality disorder, psychopathy is a pervasive disorder of human social behavior that affects every relationship the disordered person has.
Considering what this disorder actually is- a pervasive disorder of human social behavior, the perspective of family members becomes very important. Methods of victimization of others also shed light on the nature of the disorder itself. I think this may be the only psychiatric disorder that would not be present if the affected person was lost alone on an island somewhere. That observation is often lost amid the abnormal brain scans and cognitive tests that are sometimes seen in affected persons.
Without the balance of hearing from victims and family members theories of psychopathy can even miss the central features of the disorder. For example, one new theory of psychopathy called the Triarchic Theory, states that the three traits of boldness, meanness and dysinhibition tell the entire story. The theory is actually better than this sounds but meanness is not what the authors of the theory think it is. If sociopaths were obviously mean, there would not be as many victims.
Given the assertions of the Triarchic Theory it is not surprising that the DSM 5 Personality Disorders Task Force proposed that “acknowledgement and articulation of other emotions (than anger) such as love and anxiety is rare.” Researchers need to put their theories into a perspective that can only be gained through real life outside the laboratory. Therefore it is critical that meetings include work on victims and their experiences, as subjective and “unscientific” as this may sound.
The posters Donna and I presented were an opportunity to challenge researchers to consider their words and assertions carefully. Many came away from reading them doing just that. I had to explain why the language proposed for DSM 5 is wrong, as many tried to defend the proposed statement as true.
There were also two posters from Adelle Forth’s group out of Canada’s Carleton University by graduate students Henriette Bergstrom and Janelle Beaudette on the effects of victimization by a psychopath on victims’ relationship functioning and physical health. This group has identified several themes in the narrative stories of victims, ongoing suffering, transformation and transcendence. But they also say those victims who came through the experience stronger did not really describe how.
This group has identified something I think is very important, that is the question of how to survive victimization and grow from the experience. The fact that a relationship with a sociopath has detrimental effects on psychological, emotional and physical health that lasts for years after the relationship has ended, tells us a great deal about what this disorder is about.
Watch the video: Donna Andersen explains Lovefraud research at psychopathy conference.
quest, I will look forward to the follow-up, and glad to read of your perceptions. You are so sensible. You are obviously right about the fact that it all takes time. I have definitely been working on regaining my own balance. I was very balanced and firmly grounded, previously. I am hoping to recover all of it, at some point. No matter how long it should take. Good to talk to you, today. Goodnight. E
quest, I just saw your last post. We must have posted over eachother. You are someone that never could put me to sleep. I find your posts completely interesting and I completely relate to them, always. Thank you for your insight. I like the way you think and write.
Eden thank you! 🙂 I don’t mind you asking my gender at all. I am female. My handle has caused others to have the same question. Adam is my Bff since we were in grade school. We went different ways and we married others. Now as adults he is still my Bff but deep down inside I wish I would have married him because he is my hero! 🙂 Thus Adam’s Rib….sigh… 🙂 No hanky panky with him-his wife is a sweetie and they are crazy about each other. She’s a good friend too.
Eden thanks for asking with such respect.
Hi Adamsrib,
That’s a great story and choice of “handles”. Thank you for explaining! : ) Have a great day!
E
quest, another bang on statement- they do “act like they’re hurt” ( or what they think “hurt people” act like- since it’s just that : an ACT. Not real. ) in order to make YOU feel guilty. That’s the thing, they try and manipulate you into feeling sorry for them, when it is in fact THEM who are causing others to suffer. Lowest of the low, I’ll tell ya.
Wow! Great thread.
The subconscious ideas that quest put forward has my brain bubbling. I like that!
I think these disordered logisticians (sociopaths!) do highjack, in an attempt to destroy, our subconscious. Other sites have characterized, using other kinds of language, spaths as energy vampires, or those seeking the ‘light’ from those of us who posses it. I don’t necessarily relate to that model of interpretation, but it does seem to correlate to what quest has brought forward.
In that our subconscious, our creativity; our ability TO RESPOND in a VARIETY of ways, IS CREATIVE. It means we CAN create something new, some new way of responding and expanding and evolving, that the spath CANNOT figure out. It is a beautiful thing to be able to GROW, and learn and adapt, based on our ability to synthesize new experience and make it a part of us. TO CONNECT with what is around us! This is our subconscious at work, our natural ability to CREATE OUR REALITY.
Disordered individuals can only respond to ANY situation within a rigid framework of their disorder. They cannot, to the extent that it contributes to their CHANGING, adapt to their own experience. They cannot become more than they are right now. Other than to ‘create’ a new image. Which has NOTHING to do with real human potential and growth. This spawns in them, perhaps, their profound envy, and then their even worse manipulations to disable our creative abilities.
Cause if they can’t join us, they destroy us. If they cannot find their ‘light’, the will try and snuff ours out.
Hi there slimone – I felt as if he had stolen my identity, he was wearing my clothes, talking to my dog’s the way I did, it was so weird, when he moved in with me he was broken and a very sad person, soon he had taken my light and I was in the dark as to who I was…twilight zone kinda thing…..
Yeah Hens,
He did exactly that, adopted the image of you. But he never could figure out what made you the awesome, unique, and lovable person you are. And he will never figure out how to be himself. He will never change so he can actually talk to a dog as ‘himself’. Now he is on to imitating a host of others’. A HOST, because they are invaders. Parasites.
🙂
Hens ~ I’m so glad that you are free of that spath! I’ve got the really strong impression that there just couldn’t be another YOU!!
((((( hugs )))))
H2H