Having spent time listening to many psychopathy researchers, I can attest to many times coming away with the feeling that very critical insights are being missed. An appreciation for the bigger picture just isn’t there yet. For me the bigger picture always includes the family. A sociopath may prey on strangers, but usually that is after a lifetime of practice on family members. The reason this piece is so critical is that the personality disorder, psychopathy is a pervasive disorder of human social behavior that affects every relationship the disordered person has.
Considering what this disorder actually is- a pervasive disorder of human social behavior, the perspective of family members becomes very important. Methods of victimization of others also shed light on the nature of the disorder itself. I think this may be the only psychiatric disorder that would not be present if the affected person was lost alone on an island somewhere. That observation is often lost amid the abnormal brain scans and cognitive tests that are sometimes seen in affected persons.
Without the balance of hearing from victims and family members theories of psychopathy can even miss the central features of the disorder. For example, one new theory of psychopathy called the Triarchic Theory, states that the three traits of boldness, meanness and dysinhibition tell the entire story. The theory is actually better than this sounds but meanness is not what the authors of the theory think it is. If sociopaths were obviously mean, there would not be as many victims.
Given the assertions of the Triarchic Theory it is not surprising that the DSM 5 Personality Disorders Task Force proposed that “acknowledgement and articulation of other emotions (than anger) such as love and anxiety is rare.” Researchers need to put their theories into a perspective that can only be gained through real life outside the laboratory. Therefore it is critical that meetings include work on victims and their experiences, as subjective and “unscientific” as this may sound.
The posters Donna and I presented were an opportunity to challenge researchers to consider their words and assertions carefully. Many came away from reading them doing just that. I had to explain why the language proposed for DSM 5 is wrong, as many tried to defend the proposed statement as true.
There were also two posters from Adelle Forth’s group out of Canada’s Carleton University by graduate students Henriette Bergstrom and Janelle Beaudette on the effects of victimization by a psychopath on victims’ relationship functioning and physical health. This group has identified several themes in the narrative stories of victims, ongoing suffering, transformation and transcendence. But they also say those victims who came through the experience stronger did not really describe how.
This group has identified something I think is very important, that is the question of how to survive victimization and grow from the experience. The fact that a relationship with a sociopath has detrimental effects on psychological, emotional and physical health that lasts for years after the relationship has ended, tells us a great deal about what this disorder is about.
Watch the video: Donna Andersen explains Lovefraud research at psychopathy conference.
Ana
Dear H2H,
You are right! There just couldn’t BE another one like Hens. Ya hear that Mr.? : )
one/joy_step_at_a_time
slim – again a great post. the spath i know is all about trying to steal other’s creativity – to the extent that she has pretended to be a famous singer and has stolen the photos and bits and pieces of the lives of very many creative people – including me.
and that’s why my creativity feels ‘marked’. the bitch tried to steal it from me. maybe not to possess it (although her m.o. is to use parts of her dupe’s light in her subsequent cons) at this time, but to reflect it back to me to sucker me in and to watch me twist in the wind when she snatched back the fake person she presented to me. grrrrr.
Hope to heal
One/Joy ~ here’s a (((((((((HUG)))))))))) for you. That spath does NOT have your light. We see it shining here in your posts.
So glad to have you here sharing. I am learning from you, and I really appreciate you.
H2H
Ana
One Joy Step,
She may have tried to imitate it, but she DOENS’T have it! I’m sure she makes a very poor imitator of your creativity and light.
Ana
One Joy Step,
Ya know what? I think you and I are pretty much the only people here who got taken by a female spath. It’s different isn’t it? Even though they act like the guy spaths and even more evil, sometimes I feel like I can’t relate to people who where involved with a male spath (because it was not a sexual relationship). Do you know what I mean?
lesson learned
((((((((((((((((((( one J! )))))))))))))))))))))))))
Hope today is brighter for you!!!
LL
Louise
Ana:
Are you saying your spath was a female platonic relationship? If so, I can TOTALLY relate.
Ana
eb,
Really? How so? Glad to hear it by they way. Not that you were hurt, but that you can relate.
Louise
Ana:
Well, I can relate because I was “friends” with the OW in the triangulation before the X spath started playing us against each other. We had worked in the same office for five years; a pretty long time to grow a bond. That’s one of the reasons this has hurt so badly because not only was I taken by him, I was taken by her. I felt like this…men cheat and lie (at least from what I have seen in my life)…seems to just be the norm. But girlfriends are supposed to support each other, be there for each other, be truthful with each other, etc. So when I found out she was a lying, manipulative tramp, that hurt me to the bone. I think in all of this I can truly say that she hurt me more than he did and I told him that (he probably loved it). I know you can understand where I am coming from. It was just a horrible mess that is taking me a long time to get past. I boxed up every gift she had ever given me and sent everything back to her in November. I didn’t want anything from her in my possession. I sent a letter along with it telling her that I realized that she was lying to me, etc. Someone else told me a few weeks later that she texted them and asked for my cell number (this was the same day she would have received the package), but she never did call or text me. I am not sure why she didn’t have my cell number…she had it at one time, but I heard she had gotten a new phone or lost the one she had or something so she no longer had my number to contact me. I will never know why she wanted my number…was she going to grovel? I don’t know, but in the end, she didn’t care enough to try to contact me and make it right. That tells me everything.
Ana
eb,
Thank heavens you are no longer involved with either one of them. To have a girlfriend betray you like that is just awful! Triaglultation stinks! Been there too. You sound like you are getting stronger by the day, keep up the good work and be kind to yourself. Thank you for your post, I do appreciate it. <3