Having spent time listening to many psychopathy researchers, I can attest to many times coming away with the feeling that very critical insights are being missed. An appreciation for the bigger picture just isn’t there yet. For me the bigger picture always includes the family. A sociopath may prey on strangers, but usually that is after a lifetime of practice on family members. The reason this piece is so critical is that the personality disorder, psychopathy is a pervasive disorder of human social behavior that affects every relationship the disordered person has.
Considering what this disorder actually is- a pervasive disorder of human social behavior, the perspective of family members becomes very important. Methods of victimization of others also shed light on the nature of the disorder itself. I think this may be the only psychiatric disorder that would not be present if the affected person was lost alone on an island somewhere. That observation is often lost amid the abnormal brain scans and cognitive tests that are sometimes seen in affected persons.
Without the balance of hearing from victims and family members theories of psychopathy can even miss the central features of the disorder. For example, one new theory of psychopathy called the Triarchic Theory, states that the three traits of boldness, meanness and dysinhibition tell the entire story. The theory is actually better than this sounds but meanness is not what the authors of the theory think it is. If sociopaths were obviously mean, there would not be as many victims.
Given the assertions of the Triarchic Theory it is not surprising that the DSM 5 Personality Disorders Task Force proposed that “acknowledgement and articulation of other emotions (than anger) such as love and anxiety is rare.” Researchers need to put their theories into a perspective that can only be gained through real life outside the laboratory. Therefore it is critical that meetings include work on victims and their experiences, as subjective and “unscientific” as this may sound.
The posters Donna and I presented were an opportunity to challenge researchers to consider their words and assertions carefully. Many came away from reading them doing just that. I had to explain why the language proposed for DSM 5 is wrong, as many tried to defend the proposed statement as true.
There were also two posters from Adelle Forth’s group out of Canada’s Carleton University by graduate students Henriette Bergstrom and Janelle Beaudette on the effects of victimization by a psychopath on victims’ relationship functioning and physical health. This group has identified several themes in the narrative stories of victims, ongoing suffering, transformation and transcendence. But they also say those victims who came through the experience stronger did not really describe how.
This group has identified something I think is very important, that is the question of how to survive victimization and grow from the experience. The fact that a relationship with a sociopath has detrimental effects on psychological, emotional and physical health that lasts for years after the relationship has ended, tells us a great deal about what this disorder is about.
Watch the video: Donna Andersen explains Lovefraud research at psychopathy conference.
Louise
Kim:
I will say a prayer for you. You are always welcome here.
Eden
Kim,
I am lighting a candle & saying prayers for you, starting now! You have helped me beyond words, here. I deeply relate to all of your posts. I wish you so much strength and that good things come your way, and changes happen most quickly in regard to your present circumstance.
Much Love,
Eden
lesson learned
((((((((((((((( Kimmy )))))))))))))))))))))))
You are one SMART chica! And I know that whatever needs to be done, you’ll be the one to do it. Your wisdom is invaluable here and i’ve learned a lot from reading your posts.
I will say prayers for you in finding a job. I hope you get to find some joy and have lots of fun Kimmy.
you deserve it!
LL
kim frederick
Thanks, eb, Hens and Eden.
Some folks were discussing movies about spathiness a little up-thread and I wanted to share this: I live very close to the library and visit it at least once a week. I check out movies…usually a little bit dated. I don’t often find particularly current ones. (But, I did manage to get my hands on both, “Doubt” and the other one you guys are disscussing. I found the later one to be prettty triggering, too, BTW.)
But last week, I picked up, “3:10 to Yuma.” Has anyone seen it? I think it’s an excellent study of the ideological need to believe, “there’s good in everybody, if you just look deep enough.” This is a culterally taught belief, and this movie does a great job of re-establishing that culterally held belief. Check it out, and let me know what YOU think.
The lady at the library is an excellent example of this. She enjoys talking about the movies I check out, almost like an English teacher would talk to her students about a book they are about to read. She likes to engage my curiosity and will tell me for things to watch for, and then ask me to report back to her and tell her what I thought. She told me to watch out for the bad guy, because it would turn out to be someone other than who I assumed it to be.
Well, the movie does have a twist in the end, but I’m not buying it. The bad guy IS the bad guy, and the movie only works at the level of cog dis, and reestablishes the ideology that there is a little good in everybody. It’s worth watching for this lesson alone.
kim frederick
Thanks, LL. I will be thinking of you guys a lot, too. I know I will miss you all. You have been my SOCIAL LIFE, for the last 2+ years. I think this is ultimately good for me, though. Get a real world social life and establish a sense of self-reliance and financial security.
Hope you are feeling especially spiffy, today.
Eden
Hi Kim,
I am absolutely going to check the movie out, tonight. In fact I just received my new laptop and it will be the first DVD I will get to view on it. I am looking forward to it, based on your description. It sounds intrieging. Thanks for the recommendation.
Eden
Eden
H P. you couldn’t be more right, in what you have stated. My gosh!
E
Hope to heal
Kim ~ I will keep you in my prayers. You do sound as if you are ready for this change in your life. I am certain that you will do just fine. Good luck to you in your job search and keep in touch. You will be missed around here!! H2H
kim frederick
I hope you like it, Eden. It’s very violent, and it’s a Western, not usually my favorite Genre, but it was highly acclaimed and had an excellent cast, so, I took Library ladies advice when she said it was a great movie. It was entertaining, but, like I said, what I found most interesting was how it supported the notion that everybody is good way down deep inside. No wonder there are so many dupes, when our culture teaches that….and our movies and literature support it.
kim frederick
H2H, 🙂 Thanks. I’m keeping the faith that this will be a break through time for me, even if it is challenging.