Having spent time listening to many psychopathy researchers, I can attest to many times coming away with the feeling that very critical insights are being missed. An appreciation for the bigger picture just isn’t there yet. For me the bigger picture always includes the family. A sociopath may prey on strangers, but usually that is after a lifetime of practice on family members. The reason this piece is so critical is that the personality disorder, psychopathy is a pervasive disorder of human social behavior that affects every relationship the disordered person has.
Considering what this disorder actually is- a pervasive disorder of human social behavior, the perspective of family members becomes very important. Methods of victimization of others also shed light on the nature of the disorder itself. I think this may be the only psychiatric disorder that would not be present if the affected person was lost alone on an island somewhere. That observation is often lost amid the abnormal brain scans and cognitive tests that are sometimes seen in affected persons.
Without the balance of hearing from victims and family members theories of psychopathy can even miss the central features of the disorder. For example, one new theory of psychopathy called the Triarchic Theory, states that the three traits of boldness, meanness and dysinhibition tell the entire story. The theory is actually better than this sounds but meanness is not what the authors of the theory think it is. If sociopaths were obviously mean, there would not be as many victims.
Given the assertions of the Triarchic Theory it is not surprising that the DSM 5 Personality Disorders Task Force proposed that “acknowledgement and articulation of other emotions (than anger) such as love and anxiety is rare.” Researchers need to put their theories into a perspective that can only be gained through real life outside the laboratory. Therefore it is critical that meetings include work on victims and their experiences, as subjective and “unscientific” as this may sound.
The posters Donna and I presented were an opportunity to challenge researchers to consider their words and assertions carefully. Many came away from reading them doing just that. I had to explain why the language proposed for DSM 5 is wrong, as many tried to defend the proposed statement as true.
There were also two posters from Adelle Forth’s group out of Canada’s Carleton University by graduate students Henriette Bergstrom and Janelle Beaudette on the effects of victimization by a psychopath on victims’ relationship functioning and physical health. This group has identified several themes in the narrative stories of victims, ongoing suffering, transformation and transcendence. But they also say those victims who came through the experience stronger did not really describe how.
This group has identified something I think is very important, that is the question of how to survive victimization and grow from the experience. The fact that a relationship with a sociopath has detrimental effects on psychological, emotional and physical health that lasts for years after the relationship has ended, tells us a great deal about what this disorder is about.
Watch the video: Donna Andersen explains Lovefraud research at psychopathy conference.
Erin,
No bad nick indeeed…. Evalasting, the lash of the psychopath 😀
like ‘everlasting’…..as in YOU will survive ANYTHING!!!
yes, if one survives a psycho is able of surviving many things.
Eva has bugs? oh my !~
Kimmie – i hope you get this.
there have been times when the dynamics on lf have scared, triggered or angered me, but i have rarely felt ambivalent. i have been pretty much all in since i showed up. having said that, i do see a trend here – when one of us goes through a time of great change in the 3D world, we often take a big step back. my job was keeping me away for the last few months (that and having to go to bed early to get enough sleep before the db upstairs wakes me in the wee hours). and now i know i am a bit out of step these days. usually it is the folks who have been around with each other for awhile who keep an eye out – we all have gone through so much and through so much together.
as i am out in the world more and not as much as a weirdo as i have been i want to be in the world more – which naturally means less time here.
bringing the important bits here that may seem out of step was a bit hard. haven’t experienced that much here. it’s like a meeting kim – we come here to get ‘normalized’; it’s the great healing of groups of people who have been similarly harmed. i am one joy and i have been spathed and you are kim and you have been spathed and the moment one of us opens our mouths we ‘get it’ to some degree. we bond in our commonality. and i deeply love the different perspectives i have come to respect here. we are all quite unique – and only ‘terminally’ so every second thursday. ( i know you know where that saying comes from 😉 )
you are going to do fine kim. you will find a job that doesn’t make you crazy and maybe even makes you happy. i know it’s huge, but i also have read your posts for a year and a half and i know you can and will do this. it’s gonna be a ride, but you are going to do it. my wish for you is that whatever you find makes your heart happy. i used to work part-time in this funky bookstore. i loved that job. great customer service and best customers ever. i can see you there. you need something where some of your intelligence gets to shine, where some of your light and loves have some air. it’s all about the elements. you are in my thoughts and best wishes. xo one joy
hens….you NEVER cease to amaze me…..
My first outloud laugh of the day!!!!! 🙂 🙂
Hi guys,
Im sad that 1 of us is leaving,I wish so much happiness & a wonderful life spath free.
Kim, I started working and now I don’t have a lot of time to be on the web,
it was hard at first, but it is probably good for me. I pop in and out of here.
Thank you for being on this journey with me… I never thought I’d be able to be alone either.
Chic…..you too are NOT alone darlen!!!!
XXOO
personally I find that when I have been on this site regularly I reach a saturation point and i have to take a break . Then as life goes along i eventually figure something out that has to be discussed in order for it to become clear . Right Now I am still pondering the segments of the brain . The logical part , the subconscious etc . At the moment there is something that is very unclear to me about the logical and the subconscious and how it all fits together . It would seem to me that a psychopaths creative abilities are very limited , however their logical abilities are apparently cunning and nasty . I suspect that the biggest problem for a normal person trying to figure out a psychopath is not realising that you cannot use your own standards of behaviour to explain a psychopath . a few days ago I was trying to explain the psychopath way to someone and was using an example of something that I had experienced . The woman I was talking to looked at me totally bewildered and said ” , Why would someone even think of doing that let alone actually doing it , what was the point .”
To most people it all slides by . However if one happens to have been in a relationship with one, that psychopath way never slides by again .
For some reason a psychopath would prefer to react to the world in a destructive way rather than a creative positive or real way . The more i learn about them it would definitely appear to me that something in there brains is not quite as it should be . I do not think it is the product of up bringing but more of a birth defect type of situation . Where I work there is at least one psychopath . whenever one is in a conversation with this person reality is getting distorted . For why or what purpose is the weird thing . trying to explain this persons behaviour toward other workers is a mind blower . One thing for sure , it is all done on purpose . A few expressions come to mind . Riddle talker…merchants of confusion…reality twister…blame transfer …etc, etc