By | November 25, 2014 22 Comments

‘Sociopath’ – A Poem

Editor’s Note: This poem was written by a Lovefraud reader.


By J. Boehm

Aren’t we taught there is good in every person?
But some are so evil you couldn’t imagine

Living with us in greater numbers than you can fathom
With no conscience to hinder their action

Their charm and wit gets us every time
Along with abundant compliments sublime

They will make you feel sorry for them too
With sad stories they never even went through

Every word they say is a lie
They are experts at feigning a cry

You may have reached out to a human shell
Believing all the lies they tell

If they hook you because of your trusting nature
You are not to blame for your kind gesture

They are practiced masters of deception
For those who have not yet learned the lesson


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J. Boehm,
Awesome poem!
Excellent work!


Thank you for your positive words

Applause! May I post your poem on


Thank you! ….and sure! Can you send me the link once it’s posted?


Fantastic! In my case, I would only alter one word and that would be to change “abundant compliments” with “abundant gifts”. My ex and children are incapable of giving compliments, only criticism and intimidation! Otherwise a very expressive poem! Thank you J. Boehm.


Thank you, Flicka. Sorry to hear your children are the same way. I can’t even imagine what you must go through! I feel so blessed that I didn’t have children with my socio. i did try, however, because he told me his ex wife and 2 young daughters died in a car crash. What a surprise when I found out they are actually alive and he destroyed them financially….along with many others before me.



Consider yourself among the few more fortunate not to have had children with your sociopath. I was one proud momma to release my 5 wonderful kids upon this earth until I found out how HUGE a factor genes play upon them as adults. Peace and great compassion to all fellow victims.




You are so correct. My ex was not able to make me any compliments in over 20 years of marriage. His words “if you want a compliment, go see a psychatrist “. On the other hand, he wanted to be worshipped, admired, complimented and treated as a God. This is why he left his family. One co worker told him how hot and sexy he was, they even called him
Cpt America at work. They are all police officers. Thinking about this still makes me sick in my stomach. In my case, my child, my 20 years old son, supports me 100 percent. He knows how evil his father is and I am so grateful that my son is humble, sincere and honest. I know that genes play a big role but luckily my son did not follow his fathers evil traits.
Very nice poem.


Your quote brings back so many memories! My ex, when I begged him that we go see a marriage counselor, always responded, “if you need one, go ahead; I don’t need one”! In other words, he was perfect!


I watched a guy on utube, talking about narcs. one vid talked about –what is the one question you can ask a potential dating partner?
How do you want to change or grow in the next 5 years?
A narc mite get outright outraged if you ask him that. Or not rly answer it. Or outrite say: Uh, Nothing. Are you saying there’s something wrong with me and you don’t even rly know me??
A normal person mite never even have thot of it, but will come up with something. A normal person knows They Are Not Perfect.
It’s a nice instant red flag finder.
The NPD i knew thinks his LIFE is good too, not just him lol. His life is terrible, he lives way above his means and often has no food in the house. He has ppl living with him sharing expenses and still can’t buy groceries often. He generally sits in front of the tv 12 hrs a day 7 days a week, as he doesn’t have gas money to even go anywhere. Can you say Ur Life Sucks?? So sad to be trapped in the mental state where you must maintain an image or your ego will beat you up. Too bad your mental state won’t allow you to change urself even just to the point of more education so you could get a high paying job.
Too bad I don’t care anymore lol


Thanks for the certain red flag; would never have thought of that! My only question is how many new daters would or could ask this question. But very good tip.


kaya, I just wanted to thank you for this post. I needed it most right now. My son is only 3 and is so sweet and thoughtful, already showing great empathy for others at such a young age. I’m in the fight of my life to limit the time his father has to ruin all of that. I know genes play a role, but I see that my son is good and I believe if I can keep his father from poisoning him he will grow up to a be a good man like your son. While this website has given me great insight and I’m thankful for it, I must admit I’m often terrified after reading posts from parents who’s children grew up to walk in the spath’s footsteps. Glad to hear from someone who successfully raised a wonderful child, in spite of their spath father. I needed to read your post to remember that it’s possible and my son isn’t doomed. Thank you.


CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY I FEEL IT IS MY FAULT THAT THE SPATH DISCARDED ME BECAUSE he didn’t like what he saw in my phone and has been obsessed with my phone for six months!

H even put some app on it to track my activity. didn’t know hed done that.

why do I feel..
“Oh… if I just hadn’t of deleted my messages he would still be here.”

is is my fault?

cant I do what I want with my phone?

I never ever would have lied or cheated on him and even allowed him to move in with me with a broken leg. nursed him back to health. even at the hospital he was obsessed with my phone.
even on damned Diludid and morphine.. all he could do was suspect me of things…of cheating… lying… texting people…
all nonsense and not reality.

someone reach out please.
thank you


Dear Kitty Lover,
According to my 40+ years of dealing with sociopaths (or whatever you want to call them), what they accuse their victims of is EXACTLY what they are doing themselves. His preoccupation with your phone may also be the one thing which you retain to “stay connected” and thwart his attempts to isolate you. BEWARE!!!


It was the sand with me. Mine actually went one time with me to a marriage counselor. But of course the counselor was an idiot, not knowing what she was talking about. His words “there is nothing wrong with me, it’s my wife, she is mentally ill. Of course there was nothing wrong with him. He only had affairs after affairs with his fellow deputy girls/women. I call them minions now. They are nothing. It’s been 2 years since I was discarded. To this day I thank God that he left us. It saved my life.
I will never look at him again , talk to him or have any cobtact with him. Besides the court ordered alimony he had to pay to me , he does not exist anymore. I will never forgive him for the pain he caused me and to my son, his only child. I will leave this part to God.


You are indeed very fortunate to have a wonderful son from such a terrible union. Happiness to you both. My ex’s court ordered alimony he stopped after 3 yrs. His IRS return showed no income for 3 yrs. as he was being paid “under the table” in timeshares from the realty Co. he worked for. I didn’t have funds to take them both to court and late 80’d so I dropped it! Happy Christmas to everyone.


I am so thankful for this website. I am so thankful to Donna. This website is definitely instumental in saving my life. I am so thankful for the people who shared their stories on this website. Your stories’ similarities made me realize that I wasn’t alone and I wasn’t crazy. I am at a very good place now in my recovery and I just want to let you know, it does get better. Time is a healer as long as there is no contact. For those of you who must remain in contact with these shells, God bless you and keep you safe.

I am touched by your words and I feel an aching sadness for how you felt before realizing you are not alone—or crazy. Being victimized is being in a very lonely place. Remember that telling your story can be the key to unlock someone else’s prison.


I have not been at this site for about for years, I thought I was cured from attracting Spaths and here I am again. Doubting if the person I am dating is indeed one of them.

We have dated for 4 months, by the 2nd month he was declaring his love for me. However, I am the secret girlfriend, his children dont know about me, his coworkers dont know about me. I recently noticed how his demeanor toward me changes when anyone he knows is around, I become invisible. There was no valentine celebration for me. He doesnt see me, calls me or texts me during the week because he is too busy, however, his facebook page tells otherwise as he spends time at a spin class in a nearby gym along with female coworkers or having drinks at a bar late at night. i hate feeling this way… again.


Arg. A nightmare. Again!
You know it HIM, not you.
You know to go NC and stay NC.
You know to self care and be gentle with yourself as you get your bearings and heal.

Sad that we have the skills to get through the nightmare but at least you won’t spend another day with the fn nightmare.


I know it hurts but this is not your fault. This time, you are armed with knowing the red flags and you’ve figured it out relatively quickly I’d say. Congratulations on that! Just remember that his words mean nothing. Concentrate on his actions. They obviously don’t match. You know what you have to do…

Wishing you strength

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