One reason why many of us found ourselves victimized by sociopaths is because we did not know that dangerous personality disorders existed.
We may have heard of crazy people, but we assumed that we could spot them because they looked and talked crazy. We may have heard of psychopaths, but we assumed they were serial killers or some other type of obviously hardened criminal.
We did not know that people existed who could convincingly proclaim their love, cry tears of sadness, and make glowing promises for the future, all simply to exploit us. We did not know that these people were called sociopaths and/or psychopaths.
In my opinion, a big reason for the public’s unawareness of, and confusion about, this dangerous personality disorder is the lack of agreement in the mental health profession about naming and defining it. How can you educate the public about these social predators when you can’t even decide what to call them?
Range of names
Research psychologists in major universities use the term “psychopath.” The main reason is that they run their studies using the Psychopathy Checklist Revised (PCL-R), developed by Dr. Robert Hare.
The PCL-R is recognized as the gold standard for evaluating the disorder. The instrument includes a list of 20 characteristics. An individual is rated 0, 1 or 2 on each item, and the points are added up for a total score. A person must score 30 to be diagnosed as a “psychopath.” For more on the PCL-R, read Researchers minimize the psychopathy problem.
Psychiatrists and other clinicians follow the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, now in the 4th edition. At the moment, the official term in the manual for this malady is “antisocial personality disorder.” Psychiatrists use the term “sociopath” for short.
Currently, the DSM-IV recognizes 10 personality disorders, divided into three clusters—A, B and C. Cluster B covers dramatic, emotional or erratic disorders. It includes antisocial, borderline, histrionic and narcissistic personality disorders.
All of this, however, is in the process of change—the 5th edition of the manual is now being written. A year ago, a draft of the new manual was posted on the Internet, and the public was invited to comment. For the most part, the diagnostic criteria were much improved, but Dr. Liane Leedom and I had problems with a few of the descriptive statements. Read our views in Lovefraud’s comment about sociopaths for the DSM-5.
My biggest problem with the revision is that it creates yet another name for this condition, “antisocial/psychopathic type.” Personally, I think this term is ridiculous. I don’t even know how it would be used in a sentence. Do we say that someone is an “antisocial slash psychopathic type”?
Selecting “sociopath”
When I was first developing Lovefraud.com back in 2004, I had to decide which term to use. After some informal market research, I selected “sociopath.”
The main reason was that “psychopath” was just too scary. Hollywood and the media portray psychopaths as deranged serial killers. I worried that people would not believe they had a psychopath in their lives, because he or she had never killed anyone, and would therefore dismiss all of the information about this disorder.
My reasoning was supported by last year’s Lovefraud survey. The survey asked the following questions:
Before your involvement with this disordered individual, what did you understand the term “sociopath” to mean?
- Criminal: 19.2%
- Serial killer: 19.4%
- Someone who was delusional: 6.4%
- Person without empathy or a conscience: 19.7%
- I didn’t know what it meant: 35.3%
Before your involvement with this disordered individual, what did you understand the term “psychopath” to mean?
- Criminal: 15.0%
- Serial killer: 51.2%
- Someone who was delusional: 13.4%
- Person without empathy or a conscience: 8.9%
- I didn’t know what it meant: 11.5%
Fully half of the 1,378 survey respondents believed a psychopath was a serial killer. I think it’s safe to assume that this level of misinformation pervades the general public.
Overlap
So the experts argue over terminology. I’ve even had two college psychology professors contact me to tell me that I’m using the wrong name. Although they didn’t seem to be aware of the disagreement in the field, I am, and I summarize the disparate views on the Lovefraud.com page, Psychopath/sociopath.
In practice, the behaviors and traits exhibited by individuals diagnosed with psychopathy, sociopathy narcissism, and even borderline personality disorders overlap, so it’s hard to tell where one ends and another begins. Many Lovefraud readers simply describe the individual they were involved with as P/S/N, for psychopath/sociopath/narcissist. Others say that the individual has a “cluster B” disorder. Of course, no one knows what that means, but it is less prejudicial and more likely to be believed.
Proposed name
I propose a solution to the name problem. I propose that “sociopath” become the general term for a social predator, someone who exploits others.
In the general category of “sociopath,” there can be subcategories that reflect the different types of exploiters. “Psychopath” can be defined as someone who scores 30 or more on the PCL-R. “Narcissist” can be someone who uses others, but doesn’t necessarily set out to cause them harm. “Antisocial personality disorder” could describe the people who are worse than a narcissist, but not as bad as a psychopath. Other subcategories can be defined as the experts see fit.
“Sociopath” has the advantage that it is already in the lexicon, but does not carry the cultural baggage of “psychopath.” People are generally aware that the word has something to do with bad behavior. But, as our survey pointed out, the largest number of respondents didn’t really know what “sociopath” meant, so they could be educated.
“Sociopath” could be analogous to the term “cancer.” There are many types of cancer—lung cancer, skin cancer, colon cancer—but we all know that cancer is bad and we take precautions to avoid it. We don’t smoke. We use sunscreen. We eat fiber.
Here’s a key point: For many people, the harm caused by sociopaths is completely avoidable, if we take precautions.
Some of us were unlucky in that we were born to a sociopathic parent, or into a family that contained sociopaths. We were stuck in those situations until we could find a way to get out.
But the rest of us invited the sociopaths into our lives. If we knew that these predators existed, if we knew the warning signs, we never would have done it. We could have avoided the trauma that they caused.
In my view, settling on a clear name and diagnostic criteria for this disorder is a public health issue. People have learned how to protect themselves from cancer. With education, we can learn how to protect ourselves from sociopaths as well.
Witty Are you out there? I never asked but how is your situation with your son going? And remember if you ever need a big bear hug just look up at the moon and henry is there – thank you…Witsend
Thanks Oxy and LL-I am considering everything at this point. I am just wanting to fight because this is really f***ing with my ultimate goal for next year. I was supposed to hang in nursing this year while I get in shape and get my PD job back in 2012. If I have to move, it’s going to kill me. Just the firing is setting me back financially but so many PDs are laying off right now and St. Louis is one of them. That’s why I am fighting to not move and lose my home.
I am even investigating putting off the PD, getting some random nursing job, getting into a bsn program and getting weight off asap because I still have a few years to go in the navy. Military is my second choice after police work. If I go in as a nurse, I can be an officer and military nursing doesn’t have all the BS that civilian nursing has. I have friends who have done it, so I know. I got fingerprinted today and I’m mailing off my app for activating the MO license. I have applications out and I will be filling out more in the next couple days. I will be contacting the New Orleans legal aid.
Aussie-what kind of assistance are you talking about and what kind of info would you need? I am confused about what could be done from Australia-since the laws in Louisiana are totally different than they are in any other state in the US. I pretty much have not much to lose at this point. These people are black balling me. It burns me that I was completely through the hiring process except for the drug screen. I had a name badge and everything and these girls just fucked it up for me. The stupid HR lady who fired me told me that the hospital wasn’t even allowed to say I was fired-only the dates that I worked there and what my salary was. It seems to me that these girls may have opened the hospital up for legal action by trashing me.
hey 2bcop – I think you need a HUG
2 cop,
I’ll be hoping and praying for the best for you.
LL
Thanks Hens-I luv ya man! No one’s said that to me for a long time.
LL-thanks. I have been calling out to God a lot lately but I sort of feel like he’s not listening, especially cuz I got into it with the egg donor (mother) this morning by text message. I have had issues with her for too long and I cut her out back last spring. She messes with me periodically and she seems to know when I’m under stress and chooses that time to start with me. I told her to get her head out of her ass and come out the clouds and back down to earth where the real people live. I just couldn’t help it. She aggravates me so much!
2 cop.
I totally understand. Spath daddy seemed to have the same “target radar” that your Mom has. I had to cut off contact because he aggravated my stress levels so much. LOL! I don’t think I’m going to tell you that what you to her was something that she didn’t DESERVE lol! That’s funny!
Prayer does work and I know God does listen, even if we don’t think He is sometimes. I want to believe that even if the current situation is hell, that God’s plans are bigger than mine. That seems to be helping a lot too. Not so much self affirmations, but GOD affirmations are helping me sooooo much!
I’m praying for you and WILL be praying for you. 🙂
LL
LL-thanks and I’ve been praying for you too. I think about you a lot because I know it’s been rough for you lately. It’s so many ups and downs. You’re doin GOOD though!
2cop
Why thank ya!
I don’t think the road will necessarily be easier…but I’m finally reaching the point where I’m ready to wipe my ass and get off the pity pot. Just keeps me angry. No bueno.
Hang in there chica.
LL
nolarn –
I would be happy to research the laws applicable in your case – industrial and state. I know how to put together official letters of complaint. I would be happy to take all of the information you have and put into into presentable order for you to use.
Although it is standard practice to have an attorney (especially in the USA) draft such things and present them in court, there is no reason why you can not do so yourself. An added bonus of taking this on is that you take back your own power; you OWN the situation and you are in control of it – instead of reacting, you are proactive and YOU set the pace and the terms.
I just think it could help you on so many different levels – even if you choose to leave community nursing for good. It can be a much better “closure” when it’s on your terms.
However, if you are more inclined to cut it loose, then you should do that. If you have other options and would rather not revisit the wrongful termination, I can also understand that. All things need to be weighed up – sometimes it is better to let things go, sometimes it’s not.
It’s really up to you. xx