One reason why many of us found ourselves victimized by sociopaths is because we did not know that dangerous personality disorders existed.
We may have heard of crazy people, but we assumed that we could spot them because they looked and talked crazy. We may have heard of psychopaths, but we assumed they were serial killers or some other type of obviously hardened criminal.
We did not know that people existed who could convincingly proclaim their love, cry tears of sadness, and make glowing promises for the future, all simply to exploit us. We did not know that these people were called sociopaths and/or psychopaths.
In my opinion, a big reason for the public’s unawareness of, and confusion about, this dangerous personality disorder is the lack of agreement in the mental health profession about naming and defining it. How can you educate the public about these social predators when you can’t even decide what to call them?
Range of names
Research psychologists in major universities use the term “psychopath.” The main reason is that they run their studies using the Psychopathy Checklist Revised (PCL-R), developed by Dr. Robert Hare.
The PCL-R is recognized as the gold standard for evaluating the disorder. The instrument includes a list of 20 characteristics. An individual is rated 0, 1 or 2 on each item, and the points are added up for a total score. A person must score 30 to be diagnosed as a “psychopath.” For more on the PCL-R, read Researchers minimize the psychopathy problem.
Psychiatrists and other clinicians follow the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, now in the 4th edition. At the moment, the official term in the manual for this malady is “antisocial personality disorder.” Psychiatrists use the term “sociopath” for short.
Currently, the DSM-IV recognizes 10 personality disorders, divided into three clusters—A, B and C. Cluster B covers dramatic, emotional or erratic disorders. It includes antisocial, borderline, histrionic and narcissistic personality disorders.
All of this, however, is in the process of change—the 5th edition of the manual is now being written. A year ago, a draft of the new manual was posted on the Internet, and the public was invited to comment. For the most part, the diagnostic criteria were much improved, but Dr. Liane Leedom and I had problems with a few of the descriptive statements. Read our views in Lovefraud’s comment about sociopaths for the DSM-5.
My biggest problem with the revision is that it creates yet another name for this condition, “antisocial/psychopathic type.” Personally, I think this term is ridiculous. I don’t even know how it would be used in a sentence. Do we say that someone is an “antisocial slash psychopathic type”?
Selecting “sociopath”
When I was first developing Lovefraud.com back in 2004, I had to decide which term to use. After some informal market research, I selected “sociopath.”
The main reason was that “psychopath” was just too scary. Hollywood and the media portray psychopaths as deranged serial killers. I worried that people would not believe they had a psychopath in their lives, because he or she had never killed anyone, and would therefore dismiss all of the information about this disorder.
My reasoning was supported by last year’s Lovefraud survey. The survey asked the following questions:
Before your involvement with this disordered individual, what did you understand the term “sociopath” to mean?
- Criminal: 19.2%
- Serial killer: 19.4%
- Someone who was delusional: 6.4%
- Person without empathy or a conscience: 19.7%
- I didn’t know what it meant: 35.3%
Before your involvement with this disordered individual, what did you understand the term “psychopath” to mean?
- Criminal: 15.0%
- Serial killer: 51.2%
- Someone who was delusional: 13.4%
- Person without empathy or a conscience: 8.9%
- I didn’t know what it meant: 11.5%
Fully half of the 1,378 survey respondents believed a psychopath was a serial killer. I think it’s safe to assume that this level of misinformation pervades the general public.
Overlap
So the experts argue over terminology. I’ve even had two college psychology professors contact me to tell me that I’m using the wrong name. Although they didn’t seem to be aware of the disagreement in the field, I am, and I summarize the disparate views on the Lovefraud.com page, Psychopath/sociopath.
In practice, the behaviors and traits exhibited by individuals diagnosed with psychopathy, sociopathy narcissism, and even borderline personality disorders overlap, so it’s hard to tell where one ends and another begins. Many Lovefraud readers simply describe the individual they were involved with as P/S/N, for psychopath/sociopath/narcissist. Others say that the individual has a “cluster B” disorder. Of course, no one knows what that means, but it is less prejudicial and more likely to be believed.
Proposed name
I propose a solution to the name problem. I propose that “sociopath” become the general term for a social predator, someone who exploits others.
In the general category of “sociopath,” there can be subcategories that reflect the different types of exploiters. “Psychopath” can be defined as someone who scores 30 or more on the PCL-R. “Narcissist” can be someone who uses others, but doesn’t necessarily set out to cause them harm. “Antisocial personality disorder” could describe the people who are worse than a narcissist, but not as bad as a psychopath. Other subcategories can be defined as the experts see fit.
“Sociopath” has the advantage that it is already in the lexicon, but does not carry the cultural baggage of “psychopath.” People are generally aware that the word has something to do with bad behavior. But, as our survey pointed out, the largest number of respondents didn’t really know what “sociopath” meant, so they could be educated.
“Sociopath” could be analogous to the term “cancer.” There are many types of cancer—lung cancer, skin cancer, colon cancer—but we all know that cancer is bad and we take precautions to avoid it. We don’t smoke. We use sunscreen. We eat fiber.
Here’s a key point: For many people, the harm caused by sociopaths is completely avoidable, if we take precautions.
Some of us were unlucky in that we were born to a sociopathic parent, or into a family that contained sociopaths. We were stuck in those situations until we could find a way to get out.
But the rest of us invited the sociopaths into our lives. If we knew that these predators existed, if we knew the warning signs, we never would have done it. We could have avoided the trauma that they caused.
In my view, settling on a clear name and diagnostic criteria for this disorder is a public health issue. People have learned how to protect themselves from cancer. With education, we can learn how to protect ourselves from sociopaths as well.
Aussie-the reason I was talking about trying to get an attorney was to dispute this and get the termination removed from my record. They refused to provide me with the documentation that I needed and requested to file a grievance. I never intended to file one with them though. When they made the initial slanderous allegation about me with the workplace violence and the firearms, they prevented me from filing a grievance by agreeing to drop the issue as long as I agreed never to talk about it again. They knew that I didn’t know that I only had seven days to file the grievance. Those 7 days came and went. The hospital police officer was the one who suggested the labor board because he didn’t think I would get anywhere with HR, since they were already being dishonest with me. It is proving to be next to impossible to get hired with this termination on my record. I have incredibly awesome references and I still can’t get hired. The supervisor at the level 1 trauma ICU where I worked told the agency that I was one of the most highly competent nurses she’s ever known. This woman does not give out compliments easily and I was blown away that she thought that much of me but yet I can’t get hired!
To Aussie Girl,
It is being victimized again. I am sorry you went through that. I agree that judges don’t want to recognise domestic violence. I also believe that when a women appears before this type of judge that she is wrong no matter how she presents herself. I think these judges are so tired of dealing with relationship problems that they take it out on the victim. Or maybe it is the judges ego, cause he has serious cases so lets just sweep this petty nonsense quickly off the calendar. I really don’t know what it is. I can only guess.
I am hiding in my house if Jim is across the street. I had this brave plan to get a tape recorder and video camera so I don’t have to be afraid to step into my yard, and catch Jim if he tries anything. Instead I hide in my house.
It is wrong for the court to treat women this way when she is asking the court for help.
No wonder these situations turn into the “burning bed”.
no larn –
“they prevented me from filing a grievance by agreeing to drop the issue as long as I agreed never to talk about it again. They knew that I didn’t know that I only had seven days to file the grievance. Those 7 days came and went.”
Okay, so it needs to be approached from a different angle. You were off on “stress leave” when this happened, right? Were you offered any counselling? Most large organisations are obliged by “duty of care” legislation to refer staff in such cases. And they concealed inportant information from you – was anything given to you in writing stating that you had no further recourse? Did you sign anything to that effect?
It ain’t over ’til it’s over babe! Don’t believe everything they tell you – there is usually a way around the obvious – you just need to find it.
Jeannie –
Don’t worry, I lodged a complaint against that magistrate to the Chief Magistrate in my state.
Funnily enough, I just emailed the Chief Magistrate today.
In part my email reads –
“It has been over three and a half months since I wrote to you complaining about Magistrate Malone.
It has been over three months since you replied, stating that you had referred my complaint to Mr Malone for his comments.
As yet, I have received no response from him.
The result of his minimisation of the breach of the Violence Restraining Order that I had held against my ex-husband B********** between August 2007 and December 2010 was unfortunately as I had expected.
When I applied to have the VRO extended at another hearing on 6 December 2010, the presiding magistrate there referred to Mr Malone’s notes and decided that as the breach had been “so minor in nature”, he did not believe that further protection for me was necessary.
The fact that I also went in feeling strong (for a change), and was able to make eye contact with ***** for the first time in over three years, having been prepped by my doctor and by my counsellor in the lead-up to the hearing not to let my ex-husband “psyche me out”, also went against me; it back-fired. That magistrate said that he did not think I appeared to be frightened of ***** anymore.
So – if I am shaking in my boots, crying and incoherent (as I was on October 18) then I am a drama queen; but if I present as determined and clear-headed (after much work on my part), then I am no longer in any danger…..
So much for justice and protection of the innocent victim.
I would appreciate an update on Mr Malone’s response at your convenience.”
So – now we wait and see. I just wasn’t going to let that sort of thing happen to another person if I could try to stop it. I probably won’t get anywhere, but at least Malone will be put on notice and he might think twice before going down the same track again.
Aussie-now way! There has NEVER been any kind of stress leave for any reason in my life. I was fine and I thought the job was fine and everything was fine. I got called into the supervisor’s office and was told that several of my coworkers told her that I said I was going to bring my gun to work and shoot everyone-OUTRIGHT BLATANT FALSEHOOD LIE that could cause me to lose my job, my license, go to jail, and lose my ability to become a police officer. I called my friend/former boss who is a New Orleans police captain and we took the guns out of the equation and locked them up in her home and I went to the hospital police and filed a report for workplace hostility, since I had been accused of something very dangerous that was untrue and could have terrible consequences. I documented all this and they were told that I had a police report and they never reported “the allegation” to the hospital police. The hospital police only heard about it from me and determined that it was done to fuck with my head and nothing else. This was the incident where I was denied the chance to file a grievance, and I was told my the boss that they couldn’t pursue the allegation because there was no proof. When they went digging, they found that no one would give a straight answer on who started the rumor. I told them that if I had to, I would get an attorney because I was being slandered, and there was no end to how far I would go to defend my character and reputation. After they agreed to drop the issue, and I was told never to speak of it again, I was told by the head nurse that “they wouldn’t be offended if I felt like I needed to go work at another hospital”. To me, that meant that I now had crosshairs drawn on my back and I immediately started looking for other jobs, cuz I knew that they would be finding some other reason to get rid of me. They were able to set me up before I was able to get another job, and that’s how the termination came about. My own physician said that “this is personal and that’s all there is to it”, they wanted you out of there”.
Nolarn –
I may be getting confused here, but before the termination, did you not get told to take some time off?
After the incident I had a day and a half off to have time to myself. But then I came back to work scared out of my mind that they were going to find some reason to get me and sure enough, they did-two weeks later. I went to work in fear for two weeks. It was a total hostile work environment.
But they KNEW you took that time because of the stress of the situation didn’t they?
They offered me that time after the situation. After they swept it under the rug. They wanted me to think they were doing me some kind of favor. I was more than happy to be away from them for a day. I refuse to call it a stress leave. The police even said that they manipulated the situation and manipulated me.
Aussie-I don’t understand what you’re meaning about me taking that day off. If anything, it shows just how much their false allegations affected me in a negative way. The police captain told me that what they did was slandering my character by making that false allegation against me. Accusing me of trying to incite workplace violence is a very serious offense-especially if I’m not guilty of it. It’s like comparing me to that psycho in AZ and I’m offended by it.