One reason why many of us found ourselves victimized by sociopaths is because we did not know that dangerous personality disorders existed.
We may have heard of crazy people, but we assumed that we could spot them because they looked and talked crazy. We may have heard of psychopaths, but we assumed they were serial killers or some other type of obviously hardened criminal.
We did not know that people existed who could convincingly proclaim their love, cry tears of sadness, and make glowing promises for the future, all simply to exploit us. We did not know that these people were called sociopaths and/or psychopaths.
In my opinion, a big reason for the public’s unawareness of, and confusion about, this dangerous personality disorder is the lack of agreement in the mental health profession about naming and defining it. How can you educate the public about these social predators when you can’t even decide what to call them?
Range of names
Research psychologists in major universities use the term “psychopath.” The main reason is that they run their studies using the Psychopathy Checklist Revised (PCL-R), developed by Dr. Robert Hare.
The PCL-R is recognized as the gold standard for evaluating the disorder. The instrument includes a list of 20 characteristics. An individual is rated 0, 1 or 2 on each item, and the points are added up for a total score. A person must score 30 to be diagnosed as a “psychopath.” For more on the PCL-R, read Researchers minimize the psychopathy problem.
Psychiatrists and other clinicians follow the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, now in the 4th edition. At the moment, the official term in the manual for this malady is “antisocial personality disorder.” Psychiatrists use the term “sociopath” for short.
Currently, the DSM-IV recognizes 10 personality disorders, divided into three clusters—A, B and C. Cluster B covers dramatic, emotional or erratic disorders. It includes antisocial, borderline, histrionic and narcissistic personality disorders.
All of this, however, is in the process of change—the 5th edition of the manual is now being written. A year ago, a draft of the new manual was posted on the Internet, and the public was invited to comment. For the most part, the diagnostic criteria were much improved, but Dr. Liane Leedom and I had problems with a few of the descriptive statements. Read our views in Lovefraud’s comment about sociopaths for the DSM-5.
My biggest problem with the revision is that it creates yet another name for this condition, “antisocial/psychopathic type.” Personally, I think this term is ridiculous. I don’t even know how it would be used in a sentence. Do we say that someone is an “antisocial slash psychopathic type”?
Selecting “sociopath”
When I was first developing Lovefraud.com back in 2004, I had to decide which term to use. After some informal market research, I selected “sociopath.”
The main reason was that “psychopath” was just too scary. Hollywood and the media portray psychopaths as deranged serial killers. I worried that people would not believe they had a psychopath in their lives, because he or she had never killed anyone, and would therefore dismiss all of the information about this disorder.
My reasoning was supported by last year’s Lovefraud survey. The survey asked the following questions:
Before your involvement with this disordered individual, what did you understand the term “sociopath” to mean?
- Criminal: 19.2%
- Serial killer: 19.4%
- Someone who was delusional: 6.4%
- Person without empathy or a conscience: 19.7%
- I didn’t know what it meant: 35.3%
Before your involvement with this disordered individual, what did you understand the term “psychopath” to mean?
- Criminal: 15.0%
- Serial killer: 51.2%
- Someone who was delusional: 13.4%
- Person without empathy or a conscience: 8.9%
- I didn’t know what it meant: 11.5%
Fully half of the 1,378 survey respondents believed a psychopath was a serial killer. I think it’s safe to assume that this level of misinformation pervades the general public.
Overlap
So the experts argue over terminology. I’ve even had two college psychology professors contact me to tell me that I’m using the wrong name. Although they didn’t seem to be aware of the disagreement in the field, I am, and I summarize the disparate views on the Lovefraud.com page, Psychopath/sociopath.
In practice, the behaviors and traits exhibited by individuals diagnosed with psychopathy, sociopathy narcissism, and even borderline personality disorders overlap, so it’s hard to tell where one ends and another begins. Many Lovefraud readers simply describe the individual they were involved with as P/S/N, for psychopath/sociopath/narcissist. Others say that the individual has a “cluster B” disorder. Of course, no one knows what that means, but it is less prejudicial and more likely to be believed.
Proposed name
I propose a solution to the name problem. I propose that “sociopath” become the general term for a social predator, someone who exploits others.
In the general category of “sociopath,” there can be subcategories that reflect the different types of exploiters. “Psychopath” can be defined as someone who scores 30 or more on the PCL-R. “Narcissist” can be someone who uses others, but doesn’t necessarily set out to cause them harm. “Antisocial personality disorder” could describe the people who are worse than a narcissist, but not as bad as a psychopath. Other subcategories can be defined as the experts see fit.
“Sociopath” has the advantage that it is already in the lexicon, but does not carry the cultural baggage of “psychopath.” People are generally aware that the word has something to do with bad behavior. But, as our survey pointed out, the largest number of respondents didn’t really know what “sociopath” meant, so they could be educated.
“Sociopath” could be analogous to the term “cancer.” There are many types of cancer—lung cancer, skin cancer, colon cancer—but we all know that cancer is bad and we take precautions to avoid it. We don’t smoke. We use sunscreen. We eat fiber.
Here’s a key point: For many people, the harm caused by sociopaths is completely avoidable, if we take precautions.
Some of us were unlucky in that we were born to a sociopathic parent, or into a family that contained sociopaths. We were stuck in those situations until we could find a way to get out.
But the rest of us invited the sociopaths into our lives. If we knew that these predators existed, if we knew the warning signs, we never would have done it. We could have avoided the trauma that they caused.
In my view, settling on a clear name and diagnostic criteria for this disorder is a public health issue. People have learned how to protect themselves from cancer. With education, we can learn how to protect ourselves from sociopaths as well.
nolarn –
Where I am heading with it is here – to take that day off, was there any paperwork associated with it? Did you have to sign a leave form or did they have to sign off on a request for leave or anything like that?
If so, then there is PROOF that they knew how distressed you were over the issue, in that they granted you a day’s leave (or whatever) in order for you to clear your head. The fact that they then did not make you aware of all of your rights (for example, your ability to file a grievance within a certain period of time), KNOWING you were distressed, would go against them legally.
Aussie-I get ya. No, there was nothing on paper. I wondered why they were suddenly so cool about dropping it and why they were so adamant about not bringing it up again. The police chief thought it was because they didn’t handle the whole thing properly. In reality, an allegation like that should have gone straight to the police department and they should have approached me with it, not a supervisor alone in an office with me behind closed doors late on a Friday afternoon so I could go home and twist about it all weekend. I was panicking and vomiting all the next day-until I talked to my old boss from the New Orleans Police Department. They picked me to accuse, a total stable non-violent person with a solid clean background check and a pass on a psychological evaluation for the PD. Imagine if they had chosen someone who was not stable and that person did come to work and commit a violent act, the police wouldn’t have known about it and it could have been a bad situation. Both the police captain the chief from the two different departments said that they slandered me and that they are open to prosecution for what they did.
NoLarn,
Do you remember what I told you way back when, this shit first hit the fan? I said, “with a spath the only defense is an offense, GET A LAWYER” and you said you didn’t care a rat’s ass about them.
I can totally relate, I’m giving you advice that I didn’t take myself. BUT, if you had gone on the offensive they would not have DARED to fire you.
I knew that they were going to continue with their BS because it’s what SPATHS DO.
Now, Nolarn, what good is it for you to be here on LF and learn all about spaths if you don’t use that information? Bullies EXPECT you to cowtow to them. DON’T. DONT GIVE THEM EMOTION EITHER. Don’t do anything that they expect.
DON”T trust anyone. Not even your own lawyer. But get one anyway. Make sure that lawyer is paid on a contingency. Then you can trust him “somewhat”. The reason I say somewhat is because those lawyers have been known to get paid off. if the lawsuit is worth say $100,000, they get 33,000, but all the hospital has to do is offer them $34,000 for them to turn on you, SURREPTITIOUSLY (SP?).
Get a lawyer that wants to maintain a reputation for WINNING. the money is just pocket change anyway.
Sorry to be so aggressive, it’s just that it really bugs me to see a spath win. I HATE IT.
Sky-If I am unemployed an about to lose everything, I sure don’t know how I’m supposed to afford an attorney. It’s wishful thinking on my part, especially if they can turn on me. I am now convinced that everyone is spath until they prove otherwise.
Good thinking Nolarn,
As far as Im concerned everyone IS a spath!
But you CAN afford an attorney that you hire on contingency.
That means he makes 33% of what he can make for you.
If you are calm and state your case clearly, you can convince an attorney to take your case. Aussie can probably help you with that.
2 cop.
It’s getting late now and I”ve been here longer than I wanted to be tonight, need to get some bible reading and prayer in before sleep, but I just want you to know you’re in my thoughts and prayers and good vibes sent your way for the promise and hope for a brighter future and a GOOD job that is deserving of you, whatever way it is you choose to go.
Nite!
LL
Since my blog on Tuesday about what my ex did to me, I want to write about what he is currently doing.
I found out he is now out on workers compensation – seems he slipped on ice at his work place and hurt his neck and shoulder. However, he has damaged his neck but the shoulder injury has been an on going issue for about year – he knew he would need rotator cuff surgery and when we were together spoke about “falling” at some store and claiming the injury, but now he is claiming this injury on his fall at work. Again, lying for his needs.
In addition, I know when he is home that he amuses himself by surfing the web for porno and variious on line auction sites (like Ebay) and he is now on some on line auction site doing just that – looking for LCD tvs, etc. (I found this out my putting his name into Google and it came up with his auction name and what he has bid on)…. Even when we were together – he NEVER had money for food – but was always ready to spend $$$ on stuff he did not need…
They never change…
czarinamom,
Spaths totally LACK COMMON SENSE. It irritates me to no end how flippin irresponsible they are with MONEY, throwing it out the window, acting stupidly with it. They will spend money before paying bills. Thats’ a spath for you.
I thought of another name for the spaths.
We all know that the spaths create confusion with their lies and BS. In the end, nothing makes sense, so you just sit there, scratching your head saying WTF????
We need a name that will help people recognize what they are dealing with at the first red flag.
So the name we should give them is…….
drum roll please……..
WHATTHEFUCKERS!
ROTFLOL. 🙂
To Aussie girl,
Good for you! I hope it makes a difference.
I feel so beat down by my court experiences. All I was trying to do was to stand up for what I believe it right. And the guy who tells the better story discredits me.