One reason why many of us found ourselves victimized by sociopaths is because we did not know that dangerous personality disorders existed.
We may have heard of crazy people, but we assumed that we could spot them because they looked and talked crazy. We may have heard of psychopaths, but we assumed they were serial killers or some other type of obviously hardened criminal.
We did not know that people existed who could convincingly proclaim their love, cry tears of sadness, and make glowing promises for the future, all simply to exploit us. We did not know that these people were called sociopaths and/or psychopaths.
In my opinion, a big reason for the public’s unawareness of, and confusion about, this dangerous personality disorder is the lack of agreement in the mental health profession about naming and defining it. How can you educate the public about these social predators when you can’t even decide what to call them?
Range of names
Research psychologists in major universities use the term “psychopath.” The main reason is that they run their studies using the Psychopathy Checklist Revised (PCL-R), developed by Dr. Robert Hare.
The PCL-R is recognized as the gold standard for evaluating the disorder. The instrument includes a list of 20 characteristics. An individual is rated 0, 1 or 2 on each item, and the points are added up for a total score. A person must score 30 to be diagnosed as a “psychopath.” For more on the PCL-R, read Researchers minimize the psychopathy problem.
Psychiatrists and other clinicians follow the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, now in the 4th edition. At the moment, the official term in the manual for this malady is “antisocial personality disorder.” Psychiatrists use the term “sociopath” for short.
Currently, the DSM-IV recognizes 10 personality disorders, divided into three clusters—A, B and C. Cluster B covers dramatic, emotional or erratic disorders. It includes antisocial, borderline, histrionic and narcissistic personality disorders.
All of this, however, is in the process of change—the 5th edition of the manual is now being written. A year ago, a draft of the new manual was posted on the Internet, and the public was invited to comment. For the most part, the diagnostic criteria were much improved, but Dr. Liane Leedom and I had problems with a few of the descriptive statements. Read our views in Lovefraud’s comment about sociopaths for the DSM-5.
My biggest problem with the revision is that it creates yet another name for this condition, “antisocial/psychopathic type.” Personally, I think this term is ridiculous. I don’t even know how it would be used in a sentence. Do we say that someone is an “antisocial slash psychopathic type”?
Selecting “sociopath”
When I was first developing Lovefraud.com back in 2004, I had to decide which term to use. After some informal market research, I selected “sociopath.”
The main reason was that “psychopath” was just too scary. Hollywood and the media portray psychopaths as deranged serial killers. I worried that people would not believe they had a psychopath in their lives, because he or she had never killed anyone, and would therefore dismiss all of the information about this disorder.
My reasoning was supported by last year’s Lovefraud survey. The survey asked the following questions:
Before your involvement with this disordered individual, what did you understand the term “sociopath” to mean?
- Criminal: 19.2%
- Serial killer: 19.4%
- Someone who was delusional: 6.4%
- Person without empathy or a conscience: 19.7%
- I didn’t know what it meant: 35.3%
Before your involvement with this disordered individual, what did you understand the term “psychopath” to mean?
- Criminal: 15.0%
- Serial killer: 51.2%
- Someone who was delusional: 13.4%
- Person without empathy or a conscience: 8.9%
- I didn’t know what it meant: 11.5%
Fully half of the 1,378 survey respondents believed a psychopath was a serial killer. I think it’s safe to assume that this level of misinformation pervades the general public.
Overlap
So the experts argue over terminology. I’ve even had two college psychology professors contact me to tell me that I’m using the wrong name. Although they didn’t seem to be aware of the disagreement in the field, I am, and I summarize the disparate views on the Lovefraud.com page, Psychopath/sociopath.
In practice, the behaviors and traits exhibited by individuals diagnosed with psychopathy, sociopathy narcissism, and even borderline personality disorders overlap, so it’s hard to tell where one ends and another begins. Many Lovefraud readers simply describe the individual they were involved with as P/S/N, for psychopath/sociopath/narcissist. Others say that the individual has a “cluster B” disorder. Of course, no one knows what that means, but it is less prejudicial and more likely to be believed.
Proposed name
I propose a solution to the name problem. I propose that “sociopath” become the general term for a social predator, someone who exploits others.
In the general category of “sociopath,” there can be subcategories that reflect the different types of exploiters. “Psychopath” can be defined as someone who scores 30 or more on the PCL-R. “Narcissist” can be someone who uses others, but doesn’t necessarily set out to cause them harm. “Antisocial personality disorder” could describe the people who are worse than a narcissist, but not as bad as a psychopath. Other subcategories can be defined as the experts see fit.
“Sociopath” has the advantage that it is already in the lexicon, but does not carry the cultural baggage of “psychopath.” People are generally aware that the word has something to do with bad behavior. But, as our survey pointed out, the largest number of respondents didn’t really know what “sociopath” meant, so they could be educated.
“Sociopath” could be analogous to the term “cancer.” There are many types of cancer—lung cancer, skin cancer, colon cancer—but we all know that cancer is bad and we take precautions to avoid it. We don’t smoke. We use sunscreen. We eat fiber.
Here’s a key point: For many people, the harm caused by sociopaths is completely avoidable, if we take precautions.
Some of us were unlucky in that we were born to a sociopathic parent, or into a family that contained sociopaths. We were stuck in those situations until we could find a way to get out.
But the rest of us invited the sociopaths into our lives. If we knew that these predators existed, if we knew the warning signs, we never would have done it. We could have avoided the trauma that they caused.
In my view, settling on a clear name and diagnostic criteria for this disorder is a public health issue. People have learned how to protect themselves from cancer. With education, we can learn how to protect ourselves from sociopaths as well.
sorry onestep – I know all about retaliation – that is why I ignore some of the crap my white trailor trash neighbors do – I dont want my house burned down because I reported them for having a trash dump in their front yards or mistreating their animals and kids…..
Dear Hens and One/Joy,
Yea, ditto, got one of those white trash families up the road, their adult son is a tweeker…and a SCARY PIECE OF CARP…I try to stay on good terms with them, but I do set some limits on them, like when their dogs that they let run loose killed a calf of mine by ripping it apart…I made them pay for it. The wife takes in these “stray” dogs and lets them run in a pack in the neighborhood, and they do what a pack of dogs does—kill things. So I sort of keep the pack thinned out, and she finds more dogs to take in. We have sort of come to a balance.
A while back though, they had an old horse that was literally skin and bones. I didn’t even know the horse was there until all their horses got out and came to my house to find something to eat. I literally cried when I saw this old horse, I couldn’t believe it was alive and walking. It looked like a Nazi camp survivor. Actually to have a horse in that shape in Arkansas is a FELONY and I could have called the sheriff and pressed charges on them but they WOULD have burned my house for that one…so I talked them into letting me put it down for them and they agreed. You should have seen the ACT I put on, complete with tears to get them to let me put it down for them. They could just WATCH IT SUFFER, but they couldn’t bring themselves to put it down so it wouldn’t suffer. (It wasn’t BTW just a matter of needing feed, the animal had a problem from previous worm infestation that had ruined its gut so it couldn’t absorb food, so their neglect and stupidity had caused the problem in the first place) The thing is that these people through STUPIDITY, willfulness and/or malice cause problems for their neighbors and their pets and their families by their very existence and if you directly and openly challenge them, they may become violent overtly or covertly.
My other neighbor “Crazy Bob” the guy who sued me for $50,000 because the plane my husband was in crashed and burned in his pasture and HE NEEDED MONEY TO HELP *** HIS **** EMOTIONAL TRAUMA OVER IT….that guy I used to think was “just” a lonely and socially maladjusted adult ADHD but I realize now he is that, but he is also much worse and as time has gone on I realize his “elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top” either. The guy is now openly dangerous. (and, One/Joy, he does live more than 1/4 mile away but he’s still WAYYYYY too close to me) Fortunately, though both of these guys do live far enough away from me that most of the time I can ignore their presence, and in general, they don’t keep me awake with loud music or parties—the red neck tweekers have “partied on down” over the last 20 years now, so they don’t make quite as much noise any more when they party. Even those of us like Hens and myself who live in the boonies without neighbors over our heads have some problem neighbors too.
Living in a crowded environment, like the Japanese do, has given them over a long time a culture that allows others to live near by and not be problematic….unfortunately, our culture has not kept up with that. Studies of very crowded conditions in both human and animal populations show that the crowding is very counter productive to peace and tranquility in the community.
I think “noise pollution” is one of the things I respond most to. Just the “normal” sounds of cars, car horns and radios, doors slamming and people yelling just goes to my spinal cord like an electric shock. Even back here in my “hole in the woods” I hear the traffic a half mile away on the highway, planes etc. sort of like a background of a hive of bees always humming….and that’s without my hearing aids in!
Having a place to live that we feel SAFE is I think very important to us for our healing. Finding a place within ourselves that we can find a peaceful oasis is also important. Even if we have to clean out a corner of a closet and go there and wrap up in a blanket, put in ear plugs, and sit in the dark and quiet to find that, I do think it is important.
nice post oxy. lots of heart. i completely agree with your sentiment at the end, about the safe place both within and in our environment, but i had to laugh at the clost suggestion. it is absolutely right, but if i did that in my closet, with the smoke from the neighbors, and the off-gassing of the floors, it would kill me. 🙂 I go outside a lot, to walk and that’s where i feel safest.
noise pollution really gets to me, too. i lived too long around the student area – i had 2 years of no sleep before i moved in here. i also had had a few years of insomnia due to illness and i now wake up to outside stimulus very easily. one of the small handful of things that i really like about this place is how quiet the neighborhood is most of the time – i have my windows wide open, and if their isn’t a party across the park, it’s dead quiet for a town.
i saw some tall grass waving in someone’s yard the other day, and i stood and watched it. i miss the country. i have been without a vehicle for 2 years now, and i can’t get out to the country. my goal, for the next year is good employment so that i can continue to pay down my debt, and buy a vehicle. and then i can either get out of the city, or move out of the city.
One/Joy, I’m not sure if you have tried this or thought about it, but I have a really cool respirator for times we have to work in dust or chemicals that is not one to make you clostrophobic (spelling?) it has a breathe-out valve and has two canisters on either side that have particle filters AND charcoal for chemical filtering. It works for moldy areas as well as ammonia and other airborne chemicals. It is LIGHT, COMFORTABLE and doesn’t accumulate moisture inside like even a hepta paper mask does. I am allergic to various types of smoke too, especially oak smoke.
You know I sleep with a sleep apnea pressure device (it was a bit of a problem to get used to, but I feel so much better with it it is worth it) you might even consider a respirator like I have to sleep in or wear in your house to cut down on the allergens. My “Darth Vadar” look at night works WELL for how I feel, so you might even try the respirator. They are not expensive, only like $35-50 and might make life a lot better for you! Heck, I’m at a point where I will try about anything that isn’t likely to hurt! LOL
To all my fellow L/F bloggers:
Hot news!! Found out my spath is commiting workers compensation fraud. He did get hurt at his work place but is also claiming that the injury damaged his rotator cuff. However, his rotator cuff has been hurting him for over a year now!!! I have proof of this… HMMMM. What would my fellow bloggers do??? Make the call and report him????
Dear czarinamom,
WELL OF COURSE report it! IF (AND ONLY IF) you think you can do it without it backfiring on you. That is only something that YOU can decide. Sometimes it is better to “let sleeping dogs lie” and not poke them with sticks if they are not bothering us, but it is a decision that ONLY YOU can make. If it was a case of child abuse then I would say YEA report it no matter what, but in this instance I would have to see what the consequences to reporting it are….so just think about it. Good luck and let us know. (((hugs))))
hmmmm…. not so fast…..
czar, I don’t remember your story, can you give us a quick update on your situation and what the exspath is doing that you would like him to stop doing… if you get my drift…..
To Ox and skylar:
The thing with him is that (other than the evil things he did to me) he uses the system.
Dear Czarina,
If you call the number to report it and call from a pay phone (if you can find one now) or at least block your number you call from, and do not give them your name. Tell them that he had the rotator cuff injury over a year ago and that you know he went to the Doctor whose name was “X” and so on, then they will do their own investigation and it won’t back fire on YOU.
I think as honest citizens we should keep people from committing fraud if we can…every insurnace fraud that is committed hurts us ALL as a community and as a nation. So I suggest that you go ahead and call the report number but blockk the phone you call from and don’t give them your name but do give them as many details as you can to help them find proof. My bet is he will wind up like Star’s crooked scammer….in a pickle of trouble.
Ox Drover,
I logged some comments and you had responded to them but I can not find them now to see what else you may have said. Is there a way to find my posts? I have looked everywhere….darn newbie!