One reason why many of us found ourselves victimized by sociopaths is because we did not know that dangerous personality disorders existed.
We may have heard of crazy people, but we assumed that we could spot them because they looked and talked crazy. We may have heard of psychopaths, but we assumed they were serial killers or some other type of obviously hardened criminal.
We did not know that people existed who could convincingly proclaim their love, cry tears of sadness, and make glowing promises for the future, all simply to exploit us. We did not know that these people were called sociopaths and/or psychopaths.
In my opinion, a big reason for the public’s unawareness of, and confusion about, this dangerous personality disorder is the lack of agreement in the mental health profession about naming and defining it. How can you educate the public about these social predators when you can’t even decide what to call them?
Range of names
Research psychologists in major universities use the term “psychopath.” The main reason is that they run their studies using the Psychopathy Checklist Revised (PCL-R), developed by Dr. Robert Hare.
The PCL-R is recognized as the gold standard for evaluating the disorder. The instrument includes a list of 20 characteristics. An individual is rated 0, 1 or 2 on each item, and the points are added up for a total score. A person must score 30 to be diagnosed as a “psychopath.” For more on the PCL-R, read Researchers minimize the psychopathy problem.
Psychiatrists and other clinicians follow the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, now in the 4th edition. At the moment, the official term in the manual for this malady is “antisocial personality disorder.” Psychiatrists use the term “sociopath” for short.
Currently, the DSM-IV recognizes 10 personality disorders, divided into three clusters—A, B and C. Cluster B covers dramatic, emotional or erratic disorders. It includes antisocial, borderline, histrionic and narcissistic personality disorders.
All of this, however, is in the process of change—the 5th edition of the manual is now being written. A year ago, a draft of the new manual was posted on the Internet, and the public was invited to comment. For the most part, the diagnostic criteria were much improved, but Dr. Liane Leedom and I had problems with a few of the descriptive statements. Read our views in Lovefraud’s comment about sociopaths for the DSM-5.
My biggest problem with the revision is that it creates yet another name for this condition, “antisocial/psychopathic type.” Personally, I think this term is ridiculous. I don’t even know how it would be used in a sentence. Do we say that someone is an “antisocial slash psychopathic type”?
Selecting “sociopath”
When I was first developing Lovefraud.com back in 2004, I had to decide which term to use. After some informal market research, I selected “sociopath.”
The main reason was that “psychopath” was just too scary. Hollywood and the media portray psychopaths as deranged serial killers. I worried that people would not believe they had a psychopath in their lives, because he or she had never killed anyone, and would therefore dismiss all of the information about this disorder.
My reasoning was supported by last year’s Lovefraud survey. The survey asked the following questions:
Before your involvement with this disordered individual, what did you understand the term “sociopath” to mean?
- Criminal: 19.2%
- Serial killer: 19.4%
- Someone who was delusional: 6.4%
- Person without empathy or a conscience: 19.7%
- I didn’t know what it meant: 35.3%
Before your involvement with this disordered individual, what did you understand the term “psychopath” to mean?
- Criminal: 15.0%
- Serial killer: 51.2%
- Someone who was delusional: 13.4%
- Person without empathy or a conscience: 8.9%
- I didn’t know what it meant: 11.5%
Fully half of the 1,378 survey respondents believed a psychopath was a serial killer. I think it’s safe to assume that this level of misinformation pervades the general public.
Overlap
So the experts argue over terminology. I’ve even had two college psychology professors contact me to tell me that I’m using the wrong name. Although they didn’t seem to be aware of the disagreement in the field, I am, and I summarize the disparate views on the Lovefraud.com page, Psychopath/sociopath.
In practice, the behaviors and traits exhibited by individuals diagnosed with psychopathy, sociopathy narcissism, and even borderline personality disorders overlap, so it’s hard to tell where one ends and another begins. Many Lovefraud readers simply describe the individual they were involved with as P/S/N, for psychopath/sociopath/narcissist. Others say that the individual has a “cluster B” disorder. Of course, no one knows what that means, but it is less prejudicial and more likely to be believed.
Proposed name
I propose a solution to the name problem. I propose that “sociopath” become the general term for a social predator, someone who exploits others.
In the general category of “sociopath,” there can be subcategories that reflect the different types of exploiters. “Psychopath” can be defined as someone who scores 30 or more on the PCL-R. “Narcissist” can be someone who uses others, but doesn’t necessarily set out to cause them harm. “Antisocial personality disorder” could describe the people who are worse than a narcissist, but not as bad as a psychopath. Other subcategories can be defined as the experts see fit.
“Sociopath” has the advantage that it is already in the lexicon, but does not carry the cultural baggage of “psychopath.” People are generally aware that the word has something to do with bad behavior. But, as our survey pointed out, the largest number of respondents didn’t really know what “sociopath” meant, so they could be educated.
“Sociopath” could be analogous to the term “cancer.” There are many types of cancer—lung cancer, skin cancer, colon cancer—but we all know that cancer is bad and we take precautions to avoid it. We don’t smoke. We use sunscreen. We eat fiber.
Here’s a key point: For many people, the harm caused by sociopaths is completely avoidable, if we take precautions.
Some of us were unlucky in that we were born to a sociopathic parent, or into a family that contained sociopaths. We were stuck in those situations until we could find a way to get out.
But the rest of us invited the sociopaths into our lives. If we knew that these predators existed, if we knew the warning signs, we never would have done it. We could have avoided the trauma that they caused.
In my view, settling on a clear name and diagnostic criteria for this disorder is a public health issue. People have learned how to protect themselves from cancer. With education, we can learn how to protect ourselves from sociopaths as well.
LL (and SS!),
“Snakes in Suits” is, in my opinion, a very poorly written and edited book, but with absolutely vital content that should be read by everyone in any type of career.
It’s so terribly written and formatted (again, in my opinion) that I suspect the influence of a “P” somewhere in the mix of editors/publishers/etc… I went on to read Hare’s other writing, and they are clear, accurate and concise – no sense of being led by the nose. It’s unfortunate about this book – it really is a very important work.
QUOTE ANNIE: 2) As I wrote to someone recently “looking for odd “panicking” behaviour in any individual in a group is one way to spot if there is a predator lurking amongst them quietly instigating behind the scenes.” And the dangerous person isn’t the one who’s panicking.
WOW, Annie girl! That is some good information and SO TRUE!!!!
Having worked in many groups in hospitals and colleges in particular, which I think are two of the WORST places to find SNAKES IN SUITS (and scrubs!) I definitely agree with your take on things. I call it “rule by consensus” and “a horse designed by a committee = a camel, everyone has to put their own version of a hump on it. Not only that but in order to be PC you have to PRETEND that everyone’s motives are PURE. BULL HOCKEY!!!! There are those whose motives are NOT pure and they may have MD or PhD or some other list of letters after their name but they do NOT have “pure motives.”
I grew up in a family where we had to PRETEND that everyone’s behavior and motives was pure, even if we knew it was not, and boy is it that way in groups as well.
I learn something here on LF every day and your post above just brought out what I already knew, but in a new way that definitely makes it more memorable and useful….THANK YOU FOR POINTING THAT OUT! (Head nodding here!) HIGH FIVE!!!!
LL,
The expressions, “Parasitic Predator” & “Charming” same are brief definitions in and of themselves.
If you mean what else do I say to elaborate on the definition while explaining it, then it depends upon the audience. I may say nothing more or much more, or anymore in between. The angle I take and words I use are geared for whoever is listening, the mood & environment, and to fit any time constraints.
Cheers,
SS
lesson learned;
By “our” definition, I fortunately have not been involved with a “psychopath” but your qualifier for sociopath fits mine to a degree: clean, hard working, dressed nicely, although he was a heavy drinker and I have some evidence (from dating websites) that he was into “recreational” drugs.
Perhaps really the defining characterisitic should be simply violent behavior, criminal or not. Thus, those like Madoff who commit white collar crimes remain a sociopath, with a psychopath being reserved for those who not only are without guilt and remorse but commit (or enable) violent crimes or are prone to violent behavior.
BBE,
I agree!
I gotta wonder if we are stopped from labeling a sociopath is to protect us. Cause if we can call them one, they can call us one. And they will be sure to call us one.
The Spell is Broken
What is a spell? Some would say it is witch craft and ya can only end it by burning the witch at the stake.
Isn’t leaving an abuser like waking up from a spell?
Only difference is we don’t get to burn those witchcrafters at the stack. Instead we get burned badly.
Isn’t leaving an abuser like waking up from a spell? We want closure and never get it? Cause they turn it around on us? Everyone believes him cause they are under the spell.
Yesterday I attended court with my son. Same judge, same court reporter etc. I felt eyes staring at me and I looked up and noticed that court reporter was staring at me long and hard. I looked at her surprised and looked away. I felt her eyes still staring and I looked back and she was still staring me down. I’ve never seen this women before the court with Jim. I thought I’ll be damned. She believed Jim and is looking at me like the witchy woman. I knew it had nothing to do with my son’s situation cause she must be instructed to be neutral with the court cases. But, no one has to know if she has a grudge with a previous one. I gotta wonder if Jim is dating her. I mean her hate look at me was wayyyy too personal…
Jeannie,
I know the looks and it sucks. I daydream about one day, he finally gets his just rewards.
I’m sorry that you had to deal with this woman in a situation that was already hard enough.
Recently I have had to deal with spaths sister and his friend/realtor. Both were nervous around me and his sister’s husband looked like he was going to cry. I’m sure they were feeling so bad that I’m crazy and spath has to deal with me.
It stinks to get those “looks”. We want to tell everyone “Don’t you see what a horrible ______ he is? Don’t you know what he’s done?” It took me 20 years to see through all the b.s. so why wouldn’t someone else be taken in by the facade?
You can’t change that court reporters opinion, you know the truth and you need to stay on that path. We know your truth and she has no idea what butt-head Jim has put you through.
At least we woke up from the spell. I feel so much better. I have to confess though, sometimes I feel the pull to go back and I hate it. It’s the promise of a fairy tale, it’s the spell.
jeannie I hear ya. If I told my X face to face that he was a sociopath he would give me that cold intimidating smirk and say ‘ No YOU are a sociopath’ and I would wonder if he was right. I think it is like I told LL, I just reached that point of no return with him. I can’t diagnose him as any kind of spath even if he fit’s all the criteria. But he is trash. He did lie like a rug. I did come out of a spell when he left. So he is evil. I have to laugh (sorry) at your paranoiah of wondering if the gal with the evil stare is dating your X. I wondered if there is anybody my X had not screwed.. But I am at the point I dont care and mostly I dont want to know….
“jeannie I hear ya. If I told my X face to face that he was a sociopath he would give me that cold intimidating smirk and say ’ No YOU are a sociopath’ and I would wonder if he was right”
Hens;
My x-spath would be far more manipulating. He would say something like “I am hurt that you think such of me because no matter what, I alwas had the higest respect for you…”
This is my reason for NC.