CRON: Array ( [1552877715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552878015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552878315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552878615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552878915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552879215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552879515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552879815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552880115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552880415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552880715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552881015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552881315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552881615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552881915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552882215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552882515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552882815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552883115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552883415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552883715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552884015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552884315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552884615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552884915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552885200] => Array ( [woocommerce_scheduled_sales] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1552885215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552885515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552885815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552886115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552886415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552886715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552887015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552887200] => Array ( [reschedule_event_post] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1552887315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552887615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552887915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552888215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552888515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552888815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552889115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552889415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552889715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552890015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552890315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552890615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552890915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552891215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552891515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552891728] => Array ( [check_plugin_updates-easy-social-share-buttons3] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1552891815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552892115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552892145] => Array ( [bestwebsoft_wp_update_plugins] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1552892294] => Array ( [check_plugin_updates-ad-inserter-pro] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1552892415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552892715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552893015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552893315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552893615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552893915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552894215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552894515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552894815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552895115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552895200] => Array ( [reschedule_event_post] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1552895415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552895715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552896015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552896486] => Array ( [check_plugin_updates-easy-social-share-buttons] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1552896615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552897215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552897515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552897815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552898102] => Array ( [wp_1_wc_privacy_cleanup_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => wp_1_wc_privacy_cleanup_cron_interval [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 300 ) ) ) [1552898115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552898415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552898715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552899015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552899315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552899318] => Array ( [ao_cachechecker] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1552899615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552899915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552900215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552900515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552900815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552901336] => Array ( [wpbdp_daily_events] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1552901415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552901861] => Array ( [_cron_zencache_cleanup] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1552902015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552902315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552902615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552902915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552903215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552903515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552903815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552903969] => Array ( [update_network_counts] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1552904115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552904415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552904715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552905015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552905315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552905611] => Array ( [woocommerce_cleanup_sessions] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1552905615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552905915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552906215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552906515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552906815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552907115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552907415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552907715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552908015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552908315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552908615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552908915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552909035] => Array ( [seopressor_site_audit] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) [seopressor_daily_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1552909215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552909515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552909649] => Array ( [check_plugin_updates-event-espresso-core-reg] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1552909815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552910115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552910415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552910715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552911015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552911315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552911437] => Array ( [simple_history/maybe_purge_db] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1552911615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552911915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552912215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552912515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552912815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552913115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552913715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552914015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552914301] => Array ( [wp_cache_gc] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => [args] => Array ( ) ) ) ) [1552914315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552914615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552914915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552915215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552915815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552916415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552916715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552917015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552917315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552917615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552917915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552918215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552918815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552919415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552919715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552920015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552920315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552920615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552920915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552921215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552921515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552921621] => Array ( [yotuwp_cache_event] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1552921815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552922115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552922415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552922715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552923315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552923615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552923915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552924215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552924515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552924815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552925115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552925415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552925715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552926015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552926315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552926316] => Array ( [action_scheduler_run_queue] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => every_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552926615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552926915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552927211] => Array ( [woocommerce_cleanup_personal_data] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1552927215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552927221] => Array ( [woocommerce_tracker_send_event] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1552927515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552927815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552928115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552928415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552928715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552929015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552929315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552929615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552929915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552930815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552931115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552931175] => Array ( [delete_expired_transients] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1552931415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552931715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552932015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552932315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552932615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552932915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552933215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552933515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552933815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552933929] => Array ( [wpbdp_license_check] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1552934115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552934415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552934715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552935015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array 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[1552936815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552937415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552938011] => Array ( [woocommerce_cleanup_logs] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1552938333] => Array ( [wp_scheduled_delete] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => daily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 86400 ) ) ) [1552938915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552939515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => 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[args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552972215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552972515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552972815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552973115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552973415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552973715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552974015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552974315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552974615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552974915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552975215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552975515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552975815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552976115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552976415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552976715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552977015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552977315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552977615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552977915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552978215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552978515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552978815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552979115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552979415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552979715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552980015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552980315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552980615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552980915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552981215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552981515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552982415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552982715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552983015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552983615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552984215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552988715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552991415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552991715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552992015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552992615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552993215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552993515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552994115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552994415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552995015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552995315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552995915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552996215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552996515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552996815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552997115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552997415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552997715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552998015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552998615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552998915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552999215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1552999515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553000115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553000415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553000715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553001015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553001315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553001615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553001915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553002215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553002515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553002815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553003115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553003415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553003715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553004015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( 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in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553007614] => Array ( [wp_update_plugins] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) [wp_update_themes] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1553007661] => Array ( [wp_version_check] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1553007915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553008515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553009115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553009403] => Array ( [nxs_hourly_event] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => hourly [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 3600 ) ) ) [1553009415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553009715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553010015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553010315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553010615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array 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[1553012415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553012715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553013015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553013315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553014215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553014515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553014815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553015115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553015715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553016023] => Array ( [puc_cron_check_updates-ad-inserter-pro] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => twicedaily [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 43200 ) ) ) [1553016315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553016615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553016915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553017215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553017515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553017815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553018115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553018715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553019015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553019315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553019615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553019915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553020136] => Array ( [wpbdp_hourly_events] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => hourly [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 3600 ) ) ) [1553020215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553020515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553020815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553021115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553021415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553022015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553022076] => Array ( [wp_privacy_delete_old_export_files] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => hourly [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 3600 ) ) ) [1553022315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553022615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553022915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553023215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553023515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553023815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553024415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553025015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553025315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553025615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] 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60 ) ) ) [1553029515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553029815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553030115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553030715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553031015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553031315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( 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60 ) ) ) [1553036415] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553036715] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553037015] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553037315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553037615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553037915] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( 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Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553043315] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553043615] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553044215] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553044515] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553044815] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( [40cd750bba9870f18aada2478b24840a] => Array ( [schedule] => in_per_minute [args] => Array ( ) [interval] => 60 ) ) ) [1553045115] => Array ( [seopressor_audit_cron] => Array ( 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By | May 5, 2014 77 Comments

Sociopaths and sex: What you need to know

sexy man and womanMost Lovefraud readers are here because you were, or are, romantically involved with a sociopath. Usually romance leads to sex, although you may have noticed that sex with a sociopath isn’t particularly romantic.

The sex may be exciting, erotic and adventurous. But if you’re looking for a true connection, the “sacred conjunction,” you’re not going to find it with a sociopath, and here’s why:

Power, control and sex

According to Dr. Liane Leedom, sociopaths want three things in life: Power, control and sex. Often, sex is simply an extension of their desire for power and control.

The most egregious cases of sex-as-power, of course, are sexual assault and rape. But there are other examples that aren’t as violent or obvious.

My ex-husband, James Montgomery, liked to have sex after we argued. I later figured out that Montgomery, with his superior debating skills, usually won the arguments, and I lost. This meant that he dominated the discussion, and therefore, me, which was sexually exciting to him.

So it wasn’t make-up sex. He was adding physical domination to the verbal and psychological domination of winning the argument.

Excess testosterone

All sociopaths, both male and female, have very high levels of testosterone. This is the hormone that makes people compete for partners and then mate with them. So with high testosterone, sociopaths do a lot of competing and mating.

Being in a relationship doesn’t stop this. Almost all sociopaths cheat.

High testosterone is also associated with aggression and criminality. When high testosterone and a high level of sociopathy combine with deviant desires, the end result can be a very dangerous individual a violent sexual predator.

Need for excitement

Sociopaths crave stimulation and excitement. Sex is about the most stimulating activity that a human being can experience, so they want it. A lot.

And what, exactly, do they want? Variety.

This means sociopaths like sex in a lot of different ways, a lot of different places, and with a lot of different people.

While you are their object of desire, your encounters may seem highly erotic. But sooner or later, the sociopath gets bored. Then, in search of more stimulation, the sociopath may push you to participate in activities that you find uncomfortable.

If you decline, the sociopath will most likely look for new partners especially partners who are willing to go along with his or her desires.

But even if you go along with the sociopath’s new demands, he or she will likely still look for new partners. Sociopaths see no need to remain faithful to one person.

Eventually, when all of their past activities become boring, the sociopath may pursue the taboo.

Sex as manipulation

Sociopaths know that if they can hook you sexually, you are easier to manipulate.

Here at Lovefraud, we’ve written frequently about oxytocin, nature’s “love glue.” Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that makes you feel calm, trusting and content, and alleviates fear and anxiety. Oxytocin is released into your bloodstream and brain when you experience intimacy especially sex.

So when you have sex with someone, because of the oxytocin, you bond with your partner. You become more trusting with that person, and therefore more malleable.

Oxytocin does not affect sociopaths like the rest of us. They don’t bond it’s speculated that they don’t have the necessary oxytocin receptors.

So what happens when you have sex with a sociopath? You bond, and the sociopath doesn’t. You become more likely to comply with what the sociopath wants, whereas the sociopath just keeps pursuing his or her agenda.

Read more here:

Oxytocin, trust and why we fall for psychopaths

Straight, gay or sex with anyone

Several times, I’ve appeared on the “Straight Wives — Gay Men” radio show, hosted by Bonnie Kaye (most recently on February 9, 2014 listen on the Lovefraud media appearances page).

Bonnie has heard from thousands of women who were shocked to discover that their husbands have been sexually involved with men. The women typically come to the conclusion that their husbands are secretly gay, and afraid to live their truth.

This is certainly true in some cases. But in many, many cases, the men were simply sociopaths looking for variety in their sexual pursuits.

I’ve also spoken with gay men and women who realized their partners were sociopaths. Many of them observed that these partners weren’t authentically gay.

The bottom line is that many sociopaths are neither straight nor gay they will have sex with anyone.

For them, sex isn’t about attraction. Sex is just another manipulation technique to further their agenda.

Sociopaths and love

The core of sociopathy is an inability to love. Sociopaths cannot experience the human connection of love, the desire to take care of  the person that they love.

So what do sociopaths mean when they say, “I love you?”

Some know they are being manipulative, and are just mouthing the words to get what they want. But others equate sex with love. They think sex is love. They are essentially saying, “I want to have sex with you.”

Not out of control

Given a typical sociopath’s tremendous appetite for sex, and the desire for variety, you might come to the conclusion that sociopaths are out-of-control sex fiends.

Not necessarily.

Sociopaths can subjugate their sexual desires in the service of a larger agenda. For example, sociopaths are quite capable of withholding sex from their partners in order to keep them off balance.

And some Lovefraud readers have reported that their sociopathic partners aren’t interested in sex. (I do have to wonder, though, if the sociopath is getting sex somewhere else.)

As I said at the beginning of this article, sociopaths want power, control and sex. But they’re most interested in power and control.

 


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HopingToHeal

Donna,
Thank you for this reminder of the sexual tactics and views of a spath. I clearly see these traits in my husband. Since we have been separated, he has spent very little time with me….few dinners, church once and a while, lunch occasionally. But when he senses that he is losing control of our situation, he always says “I need to come over and love on you baby. Let me rub your feet and hug on you.” It’s his magic and he knows it! I’m going on three months without the LOVE and my head is so much clearer.

I’m curious about the testosterone part of this. My husband has taken testosterone shots for years due to low levels. But he’s a sex addict. I wonder if he’s found some way to lower his testosterone levels long enough for it to read low on lab test when he has a medical check up.

One other profound point you make is that because the Spath wants sex, he will take any partner. This info was baffling to me when I was in the hyper vigilant investigative stage. I would search his phone and call numbers only to have men answer, especially if he was out of town. I began to think he is gay. It was confusing. Now I realize he just likes it any way he can get it.

Great info here. Thank you!

onmyown

Ive heard people say that psychopaths are good lovers. I think the intensity is what they’re talking about, but I’m not certain. This is not true in my experience. It was satisfactory when he was at the top of his game in the beginning, but I never thought he was a great lover. He was mostly uncaring and inattentive. Towards the end I just felt like a blow up doll – an inanimate object he would use from time to time. He definitely used sexuality to dominate and abuse me.

overthehump

I agree with you on this point. Sex with my ex was never the best I had had. To begin with it was satisfactory because he was very attentive but it wasn’t as frequent as I would have liked even then. I believe now it was to do with control and power. I think perhaps because when we met I made him wait for a long time before sleeping with him, he enjoyed the challenge and perhaps thought I had a low libido or wasn’t that interested in sex but it wasn’t the case.

After the first few initial weeks his interest seemed to peeter off very quickly, he’d be ‘tired’ or ‘worried about the business’ ‘been up since 5am’, etc but looking back now, I wonder if it was purely because by trying to instigate sex, I was in his view, trying to take control and he wasn’t having it!

onmyown

I was not permitted to initiate sex either, and I do believe it was purely a control thing. It had the immediate effect of making me question my own attractiveness and made me think quite badly of myself. I think they do also get bored with partners after the initial conquest is over and sex tapered off pretty dramatically after just a couple of months. He tried to sex me up again if he thought I was somehow slipping away.

OpalRose

Thank you Donna – this article is so clear and covers all the questions I’ve had on this topic. Direct information is my antidote to the gaslighting I’ve endured. When I start to feel that familiar confusion (cognitive dissonance), I remind myself that it’s their lifestyle to want variety and narcissistic supply. It has nothing to do with me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for that clear understanding.

I am so grateful that long ago I decided not to follow him far into his version of variety. If I had tried to keep up with him, he would have just escalated until I had nothing left. He does absolutely everything you mention in your article. Part of me still does not want to fully embrace what he is – he can be so kind and concerned when it suits him. But the absolute fact that they do not bond is obvious now that I know how to see his behavior of constant trolling and running hot and cold with me.

I have no idea how to express my deep appreciation for those who have figured all this out and presented these facts in ways that even I can understand. I feel like someone has gotten inside my head and helped me sort out all the chaos. The truth is very disturbing, but I am feeling more at peace if that makes any sense. This information is a lifesaver. Thank you.

eggshellsnomore

I wish I had know then what I know now! How many times have we said this? I caught my ex hooking up with men he met on Craigslist. When I first confronted him, it was all my fault. I didn’t trust him, I misinterpreted what I had seen, and now he can no longer trust me because I had the audacity to question him!! Some time later, I found evidence of the same thing- meeting men or groups of men for sexual encounters during the day while I was working and my child was home with a sitter. I gave this man every opportunity ti tell me what was going on, and all he could say was ” I am not gay.” I went through a period of trying to help him thinking he must have a history of sexual abuse, or was just confused. I gave him every benefit of the doubt because I just could not or would not allow myself to believe what was really going on! This was the final straw that got me to leave. And once I did, I came to learn just what I was dealing with, that my husband was a sociopath. Then I learned how common these Craigslist hook ups are and I was sick. My eyes were opened to world I knew nothing about and I wish I still knew nothing about.

Bally

Makes me retch to recall this…but I’m here to share experiences….so here goes. My experience was that he used to behave like he was overly excited by me, that he fancied me so much that he couldn’t keep his horrible little hands off me. So it made me feel desirable. He also had a nylon fetish – loved pantyhose right up to the waist on a woman. Not stockings and suspenders – it had to be pantyhose. When “finished” he used to immediately get off – no hugs or cuddles or nice words. He wanted to do nothing else in life but have sex so had many women secretly on the go at once.

Was he any good at it? I hadn’t many to compare against but when with him I felt he was just basically “on-the-job” – no tenderness, sometimes a bit rough – it was just sex. But I read many men can be like that. He was always ready and willing though. He also wanted to do “role-plays”. It was his “desire/over excitement” that made it seem a bit better than it actually was. He used to go into a temper if he didn’t get it.

There are so many things I could add here, as I’ve encountered most all of the behaviors you have mentioned during my 30-yr marriag to my high school sweetheart. Because I had no other experiences, I wasn’t aware of what a “normal” love life was. While I came to realize my husband was a sex addict – porn, affairs, etc., I was completely blown away when a long-time friend confided in me after my divorce. It seems my then-husband was seen several times in an area of our local forest preserve known for gay hookups! I now realize that there was so much more to his secret life than I had realized, and I’m sure I’ll never know the extent of it.

Bally

Forgot to mention that the age of the women he had sex with varied. During my encounter his youngest was 25 and his oldest was 70. He had been having sex with the 70 year old for many years. She was 20 years older than him. He took me to gay bars a few times and I assumed it was because he didn’t like other men looking at me.

Stargazer

Wow. Just wow.

Kathleen

Mine is on many, many dating sites searching for victims and all the profiles say for age of partner he wants 18 to 70. I was with him 7 years. From the beginning I felt there was something odd. Then I realised – it was mechanical, often too rough at times. I felt like I was a piece of meat. No love at all on his part. Actually he didn’t know how to please a woman if you understand. I was left with the feeling ‘was that it?’ But I also decided not to show him how to do it to please the female too. I must have realised straight away he’s highly promiscuous and without love.

onmyown

My 35 year old (at the time) spath hooked up with women from early 20s to mid-60s. He didn’t care.

Diane111

Thank you, Donna, for this article. In my sharing, I forgot to mention this particular characteristic of my husband. Although there are no other partners, male or female (at least that I’m aware of), he truly fits the mold in all other ways. There is no love or affection or tenderness … with him, it is truly nothing but sex. Always has been that way. “Making love” are words that he has never spoken.

I_survived_The_Bastard

At first we had a very good, if a little risque sex life. He did have a problem with (how can I put this politely) …keeping it up, but then he did drink a lot (I later learned he was an alcoholic). One time I remember he did actually tie something round it to keep it up lol.

He did seem to be in to me and no one else. I don’t think he was seeing anyone else, at least not in the beginning anyway. He used to keep telling my friends how much he cared for me etc. He did however like talking to people, especially women. It didn’t bother me particularly, except in the boredom stakes. When you’ve heard the same story 40 times over the years it gets a bit monotonous. lol

He claimed to have been raped in an institution but I don’t know whether that was true. He was into S&M & he also liked to wear women’s clothing. At first I think he did it to see my reaction. When I didn’t respond negatively he carried on with it. He looked quite good in a basque & stockings lol. I think he did it to shock others. He used to wear a sarong out and about and some of the men he used to drink with once asked me if I thought he was gay lol.

overthehump

I found myself thinking about this very subject this morning. I have just spent 4 wonderful days with my boyfriend – the longest we’ve had together without a break. A wonderful, warm, intelligent gentleman. We’ve been together for 17 months now. I met him during the long, drawn out divorce process with my ex spath husband.

In my waking moments this morning I looked over to ‘his’ side of the bed and felt a pang of disappointment that he wasn’t there to cuddle up to.

The feeling passed in a few seconds and I just felt happy but it got me thinking about all the years I was with my ex – some 25 years.

In all those years – even in the beginning, we never cuddled in bed. When we ‘made love’, I would try and cuddle up to him. He’d bear it for a few seconds and then say he was too hot. We never went to sleep cuddling, in fact we were usually miles apart in bed and he would be asleep about 2 seonds after his head hit the pillow, even if I was actually talking to him. Eventually I moved out of the bed and slept in the spare room. I said it was because of his horrendous snoring (which was horrendous and a real problem) but truth was I was sick and tired of lying there night after night with no sex or affection of any kind (I had long stopped instigating sex by that time and once that happened, we never had sex again – ever.

It was one of the things that confused me in all my reading about sociopaths – the apparent high libido – which was totally wrong in his case. However, he fitted the bill everywhere else and I know for a fact that at least towards the end he was getting it elsewhere so there is a very strong chance this had been happening for years.

I was so used to his lack of affection in and out of the bedroom for so many years I didn’t know any different. I also realise now that my ex and I never made eye contact during ‘love-making’, in fact it was almost always dark. My guess is that’s the only way he could make it convincing while he thought about something (or someone) else.

I suffered a terribly lonely, sad, sex-less existance for so many years at the hand of my ex, I had felt there would never by anything else. I remember one very bleak evening when things were particularly bad, looking up at the stars with tears running down my cheeks and saying “Really? Is this really what you have in mind for me? Is this really all there is?

How things have changed! I’ve gone through hell and back to break free from my ex. It cost over £30k which still hurts as it would have been for the children but I couldn’t be happier.

There is more. Be brave 🙂

Linette

Donna, again I SO appreciate your writing and all you do! I too though had a sociopath that could not get an erection. What he did was pretend he was all excited and couldn’t stand it but that he wanted to wait until we were married like it was supposed to be. If I had had my eyes open I would have seen that it was not because he wanted to wait but it was because he couldn’t keep an erection. He seemed to have NO desire at all after we got married. He had to take pills to be able to have sex at all and after he “had me” he had no interest in even doing that. BUT as SOON as we separated, I found out he was going to a urologist very regularly and on all the dating sites for younger women trying to be good enough to get someone else. We were together 11 years. All that time I felt sorry for him that he couldn’t have sex though he really wanted to. Ha, yeah right. He was probably cheating on me. I don’t want to know really. I never knew for sure. In his case I KNOW he would have used sex if he COULD have. And he is probably “fixed” now so he can. If this sounds bitter, it is and I am. 🙂 I am happily married now though and am very satisfied. I keep reading about sociopaths having this higher than normal sexual desire but I never saw that. Overthehump, thanks for letting me know it’s not just me. Of course I felt it was me that was too unattractive for anyone to want to be with. It’s not true but I felt that way. Who wouldn’t?

DonnaC

And into the bedroom we go – or in my case any room in the house or car or farmers field or golf course. Hey I like variety too but there were some things I could never come to grips with. Although he would talk about anything and everything until my ears wanted to shrivel and fall off he NEVER would discuss openly/honestly (who am I kiddin’ he’s Disordered)this one part of our sex life in a way that we could make any progress or change. I even talked to my Doctor about it and he didn’t seem to think it was of real concern if the rest of our relationship was going well. (he didn’t have 3 days to hear my story so I just nodded my head and thought, oh brother). So having sex with my ex was like making love to a freight train running on rocket fuel. Of course it was exciting at first and coming from my previous marriage where my ex didn’t want me sexually anymore, I was ready for some fun, frequency and attentiveness. And my spath was very attentive. HOWEVER…what I learned once we married (1.5 year courtship and I had two young boys so I made him wait and then we were very careful – I didn’t want any surprises) that he could not climax inside me – like ever. He had an erection that lasted forever – no quickies in my house- but he could ONLY have an orgasm in the end by his own doing. So me no lika that – to say the least. And then I discovered that he was the Masturbation King. God knows how many times a day. Yikes and Blech. But I get it. They are overloaded with testosterone so its a constant release they need to feed. And he worked from home – too convenient. He said if we had sex everyday then he wouldn’t need to. But every time was like a bloody marathon. And hey, I had laundry to do! Oh well – I hope his new gal is fit…

SER

DonnaC…mine was the opposite…three seconds and he was done unless he took Cialis and then it was a bit longer, but even then it was fast…the Cialis just made him able to do it multiple times…still fast, just more times.

What you said about yours not being able to finish inside you…that sounds like he is hooked on pornography as that is what they do. It is probably what he has conditioned himself to do as that is what he sees when he watches porn. I am glad you are rid of him.

I_survived_The_Bastard

SER mine was the same. When he could ‘get it up’ he couldn’t finish inside either. I now wonder whether that too was a manipulation. And yes he liked porn and S&M, he told me some really unpleasant things he’d done in the past. Whether it was true or not I don’t know.

SER

I survived…after reading so many comments on here, it is quite obvious that there are so many men out there with sexual issues. The one I was with had some major sexual issues. I believe it went along with his alcoholism and all his other issues. I think he had mother issues, I think he may have been abused as a child (not sure; will never know), I think he married his mother and is not happy, but will not get a divorce. I think he probably married the perfect woman for him because she has put up with him forever and will also not get a divorce. So he knows she won’t divorce him no matter what he does, and she knows he won’t divorce her no matter how mean she is…it’s a win win situation for them and apparently, it works! Good for them.

I don’t think I will ever be with another man. They have too many issues and baggage. I look around and see all that goes on and it’s not for me. I am way better off by myself.

pilotlight

wow DonnaC: my yuck psychopath is 67…word for word my exact experience…unbelievable,

DonnaC

I hear you. Yup – good riddance. On my own and never happier.

Vision

Donna,

Thank you for another great article…..You certainly very plainly and to the point explained the reality of our sociopath’s motives and actions….You described my sex with ex to a T…..looking back, I wish I had known as I puzzled over his actions and my discoveries.

However, after opening the Pandora’s box, I found that my first impressions of the contents were only the tip of the iceburg….

Sex sites, sex clubs, sex cards to call for group sex, emails, texts, phone calls, unexplained absences, phone calls ignored, a whole virtual basement of sexual corruption..and the list goes on.

If a person likes this, then just find a partner in crime, but it would take the delight of toying with us from the sociopath…

I believe one of the most healing thought and the turning point for me was that it didn’t matter to him what I was, what I thought, where I went, what I did, what happened to me or where I was going in life…..and I was alone whether or not I was “with” him or without him……sad but the beginning of enlightenment….

Seeing him fully as a Predator made me fully accept his deviant behavior as the real him…not the fantasy good guy I had always thought him to be….how sad….but the only way to heal….

In the past, I have voiced much on this relationship here on LF….for those who remember, his sex life was indeed a sick menagerie of people…..

I don’t try to figure out how or try to get inside his mind too much….anymore then we would want to be inside the mind of a murderer….we really don’t…we just need to know how corrupt the mind of an sp is and he is not normal….and he is poison….and to know how to spot one….

Happily, the antidote is to know the poison and what will neutralize it…here at LF is the first step for many poor souls….

If you are first time here, It takes time but you will survive and conquer….Believe one day that you will be happy again…

This is my vision for all here….

pianogal

This is a great article, Donna! I was involved with a married man. He had worked as a handyman for me several years and was always a gentleman. I never suspected he wanted to get intimate with me until we started talking more and he found out that I, who had been with a woman for 28 years, was attracted to men, too. He talked me into getting intimate with him. I told him I liked his wife and did not want to ruin our friendship or cause problems with his marriage. He said he thought sex might make our relationship better. Just thinking about sex with him made me more excited than I had ever been in my entire life! After a few days, he came over and reached in my blouse. I almost fainted. He later said he knew he had me at this point. The sex got better and better over 7 months until the last time. However, he could not get an erection. I told him I had never been with a man and wanted to try it. I am sure that the fact that I had been living a lesbian lifestyle and was a virgin was a real turn on for him. He did not tell me he could not get an erection until after we went to bed. He made love to me for 3 hours the first time and kept saying that he liked to pleasure me. This was all a lie. He really wanted oral sex which I gladly provided, but he always seemed to be interested in my pleasure over his. He said, “you like it all”. Of course, he at first said it was only sex with no expectations, and gradually he made sure I fell in love with him. He led me to believe that his marriage was in trouble. Then he said everything was fine- just normal marital
problems. It was all a game about control. When I realized he was not going to leave his wife, we talked and he had tears in his eyes. However, his face seemed cold. We decided on just an affair. But later, he said he wanted to “step up the relationship”. The sex had progressively gotten better and better. He once said, “Just between you and me, I could let a man do this to me.” I don’t believe he was gay. Like you say, these men just want excitement and do not have the capacity to love. He did work for several gay men. He went all out the day before I left on a trip, but did not even call me after he said he would to see if I had made it safely. I realized at that point that he did not care about me and ended the relationship.

pianogal

And to continue my last comment. And then of course, when I returned, I called him to bring a book back that I had loaned him. He said he got to thinking when I as gone on my trip, that he was not in love with me and only “liked” me and it was only sex! Yet he had made the most intense love to me ever the day before I left and said he wanted to step up the relationship! He said he was sorry if he hurt me. I told him I had his number and knew he had been with lots of people around here. He said, “not around here,” Wow! He knew I was backing off, and he wanted to win, so he had to make it look like the relationship was meaningless to him to get back at me for dumping him. I ran into he and his wife at the garbage dump in our community a couple of weeks ago, and I talked to his wife and she was very friendly. I am sure she had no idea about our affair. I did say that I had not called him for work since I was using a yard man and knew he did not like yard work. I will never call him again, and I am sure she will wonder why!

Vision

How appropriate running into he and his wife at the garbage dump!!!….what a maggot!!….You are correct, he doesn’t care….the best way to get back is to NC…no contact…they can’t believe you just cut them off….he might try to come back…you gotta stay in NC….before I went into permanent NC, I had to disregard the sex connection…it was hard as it was great as far as just sex went….Don’t give in…..and his wife does know!!…

Report back…

pianogal

So you think his wife knows? If she does,I don’t think she suspected me, since I was known as a lesbian and had had a long term realationship with a woman, but I am not sure how he could have kept all of his affairs a secret all of these years. They have been married 40 years. I don’t think she is very attractive compared to him, but she is thin and has a good personality. He always led me to believe that she really kept an eye on him and was very controlling. I think he is the controlling one and she may just put up with it. He is quite attractive with gorgeous blue eyes and a great personality, but a little overweight. He claims he had a big job making over $100,000 a year until he moved here 8 years ago. He said he and his wife did not see each other much except on the weekends as he had an additional job at the time making about $50,000 year. He says he went out with women after work and flirted on the job,and his wife never suspected since he said he was working late. He admitted to several affairs during their marriage but said he did not cheat on her until after about 10 years of marriage, which I do not believe. He said he almost left her twice, which is probably a lie, as he wanted me to think he might leave her for me. He implied this early in the relationship and said he was going to tell her he was in love with me and she could get a divorce if she wanted. He said he was going to see me no matter what, and planned to continue our affair for a long time! He also said that he had not had sex with anyone other than his wife, in the 8 years he has been here! He said she was not interested in sex in quite awhile. He said she said it hurt, and that she had gotten some cream a while back which did not work, and she had tried it again without success at the time of our affair He said he got Cialis for me a couple of months into our affair. It worked a little for about a week, but not enough for intercourse. He said it was very expensive and the insurance did not cover it and he only had 5 pills left. Not sure why he did not continue it. A friend gave me a few Viagra, and he said he was afraid to take it and sited cases where men had had problems with it. He said he would try a half pill after his wife went back to work, but the affair ended before he had a chance. As a handyman, he is gone several days a week to various places and he could be anywhere and his wife would not know. I lived very close to him, so it was easy for him to stop by here, and no one could see his car as I live in the woods with a private parking area. He said we had the perfect cover- that everyone thought I was a lesbian. And he has been at my house numerous times in the last 5 years working.
I hope I won’t run into him again!

I_survived_The_Bastard

Pianogal
‘but I am not sure how he could have kept all of his affairs a secret all of these years.’

My ex had always told me that his mother was dead. I was good friends with one of his female friends (and still am, in fact it was she that realised he was an spath and supported me through the split). He and I also had another female friend (she was another ex of his – I wasn’t overly friendly with her though).

Any way I was with him 10 years. In that time I had conversations with both women about him, his family etc etc. Both of them knew his mother was dead but didn’t realise I didn’t know. Somehow he had managed to keep that fact totally separate from me.

At any time one or other of them could have mentioned it in conversation and the story would have been out, but they didn’t know that I didn’t know. It wasn’t until after I threw him out that it came up in conversation. It totally pulled the rug out from under me.

So it is quite possible that this woman didn’t know.

UPDATE
Sorry have just reread this and it should have read that these women knew my ex’s mother WAS alive, whilst I thought she was dead.

pianogal

jmmira,
I do realize I made a horrible mistake getting involved with a married man. I should have known that I could not trust a cheater. When I questioned him once about lying to his wife, he said he wished he could tell her the truth but she would not understand. He said, “You can’t tell everyone the truth” and laughed. I should have realized at this point that he was disingenuous. I was curious and he said he was, too. However, I felt we really fell in love, that his marriage was dissolving and he was going to leave his wife for me. When this did not happen, I still believed he was in love with me and I with him, and I felt I could not stop the relationship until I realized what his true intentions were. I think he is a sociopath because he intentionally led me on and lied to me about his feelings to get what he wanted- oral sex. He knew I would probably not perform this unless I was in love him, so he made sure I fell in love. He said he loved everything about me, that we were perfect for each other, that we were both “givers”, and a match made in heaven! How cruel to tell someone these lies! And you don’t see that as sociopathic behavior?????!!!!!!!!!!! This is obviously a person without a conscience which defines the sociopath. And like Donna says, these people don’t care who they have sex with. I don’t think he was gay. He just wanted the thrill of secretive and forbidden sex!

I_survived_The_Bastard

jmmira

I would disagree with what your social worker has said to you: ‘My social worker told me all women lie about their previous relationships.’ Some women lie some don’t. It could also be said that ‘all men lie about their previous relationships’.

This is just a generalisation on the part of your social worker and suggests that they too have been hurt in the past.

You are not alone however. My current partner’s ex wife told her solicitor all sorts of nasty things about him, such as saying he hurt her, and other stuff. Having known him now for nearly 3 years I can say that he’s not that sort of person, in fact he is a kind, loving, gentle man. I think this woman gets off on saying hurtful things about him.

The problem with spaths is that they manipulate the legal system that is suppose to protect victims such as your self. My ex used to get away with all sorts of stuff, I don’t know how, I think he was able to charm people and had the gift of the gab.

Having been through a 10 year relationship with an spath I can empathise with the pain you’re going through. I’m now 10 years out of that relationship. I takes time to recover and rebuild not only your life, but your soul and your self esteem.

Just remember you’re among friends and people who have experienced similar things to you and we can support you through it. I does get better in time, although it may not feel like it now. Just take one day at a time. Some days will be bad, some days will be good, but you will survive it and by doing so will have won.

pianogal

Yes, I agree with “I-survived-the bastard.” All women do not lie about their previous relationships, because I know I don’t! I had never been with a man before, and that is the truth, and I am 60 years old. Hard to believe, but true! I believe everyone lies sometimes, but to different degrees and about different things. Sometimes it is good to tell a “white lie” if it keeps you from hurting someone and does no harm.

Stargazer225

I think your social worker is setting you up for a lifetime of bitterness and distrust. All women do not lie about their past relationships. I’ve been separated from my sociopathic ex for going on five years’ now. I was on a plane with a man who would NOT believe that I hadn’t cheated in 25 years of marriage (5 separated.) That really said more about him than it did me. If he cannot believe a woman can be faithful, how can he trust for a relationship?

You’ve been dealt a raw deal. In Ca, it’s the opposite. Men get the benefit of the doubt and women are viewed as Jezebels who are just after money. I am willing to leave with the clothes on my back and my kids, but DH will not divorce me. He’s not driven by sex, and he needs the control. I’m trying to get my career back up and running after $35,000 spent to divorce him, and no divorce. (He fought everything, so I couldn’t afford to go to court. Nor could I leave my children with him — he’s not emotionally present.)

But I’m not a victim, and I don’t for a moment think that all men are like him. I don’t necessarily want to be married ever again, but I worry about your attitude and what it will attract into your life. I understand how you “used to be someone else” — I do was someone else. A happy person who believed in goodness and light. That innocence is gone, and it’s never coming back, but I can’t do myself the disservice of replacing it with painting all men a certain way.

jmmira

And I really didn’t mean to come down on you very hard. Just kind of saying that you did know he was married. He clearly said a lot of things to seduce you.

Vision

Jmmira:

I posted above as well to your previous post.

The purpose of this site is not to criticize others. We are here to tell our stories and to help each other through those stories. You talk about judging but you judge.

Plus you are wrong on many levels should not voice your opinions as facts.

Vision

Jmmira:

How do you know all about sociopaths?

Vision

Jmmira:

Its too bad you are having such a bad experience with your wife. It seems the lack of justice drives us all insane with anger and frustration. She sounds very manipulative despite your good intentions.

I read your entire post and just also wanted to help clarify what I, in my opinion, felt Donna was bringing out.

Donna was not stating that men with high testosterone levels are all sociopaths anymore then you are saying that all single mothers are serial child bearers…you just stated one has to watch out for those that fit that bill….

Plus Donna stated that both the male and female levels were high…not just the males…and as Donna stated “High testosterone is also associated with aggression and criminality.” …

And Donna regarding gays or lesbians was showing that many sociopaths don’t care who they have sex with and are not gay or lesbian at all, but only want to gratify themselves.
Donna stated: “The bottom line is that many sociopaths are neither straight nor gay they will have sex with anyone.”

You state that the reason your wife has custody of your son is because she is a woman. Do you know how many times men that are sociopaths manipulate to take custody from women?

If you read on here the blogs, you will find men and woman equally being preyed upon by sociopaths, as you have been…both of the sexes have been beaten down….

I suggest you read some of the books here offered on Lovefraud. Here we educated ourselves in the traits and methods of sociopaths and help each other recover.

In good faith, keep up the fight for your son,
Keep reading….

pianogal

The man with whom I had the affair said his testosterone level was low, but I wonder if this is true as he lied a lot. He seemed to have a big appetite for food and sex. I think he faked ejaculation. I had never seen semen, but it was thin and watery. I now think it may have been urine since he could not get an erection, and he wanted me to swallow it which I never did! It tasted sort of bitter! Sorry, this is not pleasant reading!

aintgonnatakeitnomore

if he could never get an erection, he had low testosterone. i have been with 2 men in my life who hardly had them either, stayed quite small, etc. both did orgasm tho, but not much, true. still…one of them had 6 kids with 3 diff women so WATCH OUT. very fertile still!

aintgonnatakeitnomore

The NPD i was with thinks the term making love can be used any time sex of any kind takes place. When I rly understood this, I knew that wen he said make love, lovemaking had nothing to do with it. wat a bummer to realize he never had made love to me. sex with a stranger and sex with me were called the same thing.
they WERE the same to him.
he claimed to feel close to me during and after sex and to need sex for this reason; but in reality he just rly needs sexual release ALOT.
what a man — a man’s man LMAO

Vision

Jmmira:

It sounds like your wife was also using your son as a barrier between you and her. I feel really sorry for your poor son…It was nice you made his bed every night. I think you really meant well and are really angry with your wife…

Not all women are liars. I know women who end up hating men and according to them, there are no good men…but there are good men and good women.

Many of us make mistakes in choosing a mate or partner in any relationship. If we believe the lies they tell us, we become manipulated and victims.

Its hard to be in a bad relationship and worse yet when our children are involved….

We all here have divulged intimate details. It helps and no one knows us really and so we can anonymously pour out our souls…..

Many times my friends here on LoveFraud have helped me through rough times and I have helped others. We support each other…..Some of us have been here for years…

Please keep posting your experiences with your wife and son. and It does matter, my friend…

aintgonnatakeitnomore

Im going to tell u wat i went thru with the NPD and my kids (not his). Little kids. He would come up to me and start kissing me, in front of them. Holding me close. Grope me. All things that are fine with me, if they werent there. The children would be very upset. This would make him continue longer and yell at them he could kiss their mother, whats wrong with that? I had learned the only way was to make it shorter, resisting or discussing it simply made it longer. So I would do wat i could to make him happy and then slither away asap and give the girls my attention. He wasnt just giving me a kiss or a nice hug.
Also I wasnt allowed to go to bed when i was exhausted. He never helped me with the kids AT ALL. just demanded my time and attention. I was going to the gym before they woke up and he left for work. This meant i woke up at 5.15am 6 days a week. He COULD HAVE gone to work later than 6.30 as he worked for himself and only worked 4 hrs and then SAT AROUND the whole entire rest of the day. but he would not let me sleep later so i could stay up later and have time ALONE with him.
when i would fall asleep next to him at 9 or 9.30 on the couch he would WAKE ME UP, i shit u not. What an ASS! if i went to bed while he still wanted to watch STUPID tv shows, i would be punished.
i also have terrible insomnia and wud not sleep for more than the 1st 4 hrs. he KNEW i was exhausted. he didnt care. I finally had to quit going to the gym after 3 mos. i was making myself sick.
he also claims to this day *HE* had to initiate sex all the time. lmao, he NEVER would. well except on the weekends once he heard the kids wake up so i would have to say no. Then he could say i rejected him AGAIN. (he will deny this bitterly that he only initiated when it was impossible)
i was the one initiating or it didnt happen. then he could whine and piss and moan we never had sex and that would be a whopper of fight omg. HOW Did He Think It Made Me Feel To Never Want Me as he never started anything? it was all a control issue. plain and simple
was ur ex getting these vibes from u at all?
i have learned to listen btwn the lines to wat men claim about their exes. ur ex sounds like a child molester, dont get me wrong, shes a LOONEY. but men try to downplay stuff wen the whole truth gives the whole pic.

aintgonnatakeitnomore

All women lie about their past relationships…well ive heard say that women divide by a third all their lovers. And men multiply by 3. So a guy that gloats he’s been with 30 women, has had 10 probably lol
Women probably do downplay their sex lives as its unladylike to enjoy sex. Men are praised for scoring and women are reviled for “letting them” score.
Gotta love this world.

Stargazer

Whoa, I had to do a doubletake when I saw there was another Stargazer here (Stargazer225). I’m reading the post, and I’m thinking….hey, I didn’t say that! LOL So there are two of us here!

Stargazer

Oh and regarding the fact about all women lying about past relationships…..I don’t go around advertising my past to anyone and everyone, but if someone close to me really wants to know, I tell them. Sometimes I might say, “Do you really want to know?” first. I’m a pretty honest person and I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve done in the past, only because I learned from all of it. I’m actually planning to write a book at some point.

Jmmira, I don’t know what the age limitation is for a child breastfeeding, but I’m pretty sure 7 is way too old. My gut tells me what your wife was doing was some form of sexual abuse. Does not sound like a healthy boundary between mother and son. I’m sure there must be some literature on this.

Bally

Jmmira, I can feel your frustration with the system and pain at what has happened to you. It is unfair and wrong and caused you continued suffering. I live in a country where the divorce courts favour the mother. My brother was told that by his lawyer. He is married to what I believe to be a narcissist or a psychopath. Only he doesn’t want to know that. His life has been hell for about 14 years. She won’t set him free and he won’t set himself free. He looks sick and old, lost his personality, his career has been affected, he is down trodden, used, abused emotionally and physically. The kids are used to control him and suck him dry.

And yes, stereotyping is out there in full force as you have experienced. Even when I, myself, imagine that my sis-in-law is the man doing those things to my my brother (imagining he is a woman) it seems a hundred times worse. That’s how I know just how his world is pure hell on earth and the unfair system helps keep him there.

I’d been a victim of a text book psychopath in the past (in fact two). I didn’t know about psychopathy then. What I found helpful was to read as much as I could about psychopathy to understand the disorder. I note you have done that too. I’d been hurt and devastated many times and I shocked myself why I opened the door in the first place and why I didn’t dump him at the first sign of unacceptable behaviour. I cannot believe at what I had become. But even with no knowledge back then of psychopathy, the end didn’t hurt as I was glad to be rid of him. The later reading helped me understand it all and I would think “Oh yes, that now makes sense”. When reflecting on his behaviour it no longer left me perplexed, just as my brothers wife’s behaviour doesn’t. It is to be expected and predicted.

However, my situation was nothing like yours as you had been married for years with children and had years and years of hell. Maybe you would find it helpful to contact one of the resources that Donna has pulled together listed on the menu bar and perhaps they can help you through this and get a lawyer who has experience and knowledge of dealing with a narcissist? Just a thought as you are way ahead of my brother – he won’t acknowledge he is living with a disordered wife.

jmmira

Thanks for the reply and consideration.

Marvelous article, as always, Donna. I am five years out of my 3-plus year marriage to a man I think is probably more on the line to psychopathy and his taker-clan. I come and go from your site – and I suspect I will always return because this data is a part of me and my life now. Your works and compiled information are astounding and absolutely on point regarding my own experiences.

I am deeply appreciative for your site. I am also in awe of your ability to make something amazingly positive and helpul after your own ordeal. Thank you for that. There was a zest for living that disappeared from me after my encounter. Slowly there are returns in that arena.

When I reached for help during my marriage, so many of my friends and acquaintances didn’t understand and were less than kind and helpul. The covertly inflicted injuries should continue to be discussed. Sex is such a multi-tiered subject anyway. You help many by letting us know that it is not “just” us. Thank you.

DonnaC

You are so right Becky as this is a sisterhood that none of us would have chosen but I am blessed for the understanding and support found here. Our friends and family are often so irritated, annoyed and pissed off at the behaviour of our spaths that their ability to have an understanding or empathy of our relationships is beyond their comprehension. And actually with me that is quite ok as I really don’t need them to go to that dark place, and quite truthfully I really wouldn’t want to share that much. And thats why I am so thankful for Donna’s site. She puts a light on it and lets us know we are firstly; not alone, secondly; will triumph and then finally, in time be better than okay.

aintgonnatakeitnomore

i am so upset rite now. i can not get the NPD out of my head, screwing with me. not that im missing him or even thinking about him. he’s influencing my interactions with other men!!! i feel attacked by normal questions or concerns as a guy gets to know me. i have been talking to a guy for a bit and went to dinner with him few nites ago too. He is a strong personality, basically he’s aggressive, a salesman. the NPD was passive aggressive. i am feeling suffocated.
tonite i literally had my breath taken away and started crying by a question of his on the phone. i couldnt talk for a minute or two. he knew i was crying eventually and was pretty freaked out i was crying. so now he thinks i just cry–im a crybaby female ~ick~. i dont cry much at all, damnt!
i just wanted to walk away from the whole relationship developing. its just not gonna work. i didnt want to run, just walk away with a sigh. i tried gracefully to tell him this. oh well, we arent compatible. lets not keep arguing–he is very smart and we have some intense conversations but i dont want to become a contentious woman in his mind. That will kill the chances of ever working. so screw it. he was like, whoa. i am not put off by u. i am just trying to learn about u. i knew instinctively this is true. I am just F’d up. By the NPD.
later, wen i got off the phone i just cried and cried. i want to dig out the NPD from my brain with a spoon, im so desperate to get him out. i dont want to have him talking to me in my brain ANYMORE. i want someone to be able to talk to me without me filtering everything thru HIM. this is the first guy to actually rly be trying to know ME. so its not come up till now, that i noticed.
i just sat outside and screamed at the sky, GET HIM OUT!
just give me a spoon and i will DIG that messed up man OUT. i know this guy and i are not going anywhere now. its fine, i was investing nothing yet. i doubt he was either. its just ridiculous and sad that an intelligent, interested man had me so tensed. he said ur judging everything by other men blah blah blah…i had told him nothing about my past life much. my boundaries are so rigid, cemented in fear, he literally asked me if i cud compromise in a relationship!!!! (I figured out *later* theyre cemented in fear, but still—more work on parameters needed i see)
i know i have PTSD. but really? nothing beyond quite shallow stuff is going to ever happen dating? thats boring. but this has been terrible too.
i NEED to connect with ppl. SIGH

jmmira

You may not be ready to date again. You should connect with people who have the same hobbies. Maybe try meetup.com groups.

Not to make it about me, but there is no way I could date right now and I’ve been separated for over two years and have not been intimate for many,many years with my ex. I don’t even think she understands why I stopped trying to be with her, even though she’d play all these cold shoulder, not interested, make it the kids business, insult me in front of the kids behavior.

You need to heal and find who you are again. I know I’ll never be who I was again, I’ll only learn and heal somewhat from it. But never the same person.

It’s very important to feel secure in who you are again!

Kathleen

Same for me jmmira. I’ve been separated more than 2 years and I don’t even consider dating. I don’t have feelings for my ex and regret meeting him, but I’m very happy on my own with no stress in the house. I need to get used to being happy with my own company first. I visit family and friends and follow interests I wasn’t able to before. It’s great!

Stargazer

Wow, ain’t, I had a very similar experience with a guy I met on a dating site many months ago. He said something on the phone that triggered me and I processed it right then and there. Then when we hung up I cried again. After meeting up with him and reflecting on that conversation, I realized he was not right for me – he was too domineering for a gentle person like me, though he was very open, sensitive, and communicative. A little too communicative. I like to get to know people slowly. Like a flower blooming. He likes to pry them open with a crowbar. Each to their own. The more he leaned forward energetically, the more I backed up, until I became very quiet and just let him talk. Not a good match. I didn’t feel bad about the experience. I learned something from it and also got a bit of a healing.

I believe that when you’re around a quality compatible person, it will be a little easier. This guy probably is not right for you as a friend, never mind as a boyfriend. BTW, I seek only friends at this point. I’ve decided not to get involved with anyone romantically. I have a guy in my life who is a great friend, almost even like a brother. I’m not attracted to him, but we’re great friends. I think I’m on the right track.

aintgonnatakeitnomore

lol, he even said to me, u keep pushing back at everything im doing.
BINGO
chill the F out.
grrrrr
this guy is aggressive and while the NPD was passive aggressive that is much harder to see so it took a long while to realize. i dont like aggressive! period.
i like ur pry me open with a crowbar analogy. i am not pryed. i decide wen and who i tell my shitty life story to.
*I* do have to control the relationship at first. i cant share control till i am able. simple. right or wrong, its just reality. he will never let me do that in a million yrs. he’s got issues he’s never gonna to deal with again either and HE needs to make sure of that upfront. so two hurt ppl are not going to work.
our baggage together does not make a matching set 🙂
BUT I still feel alot of it is the NPD crawling around in my head, eating my brain. and i HATE it.

NotWhatHeSaidofMe

I know that some women get attached to sociopaths b/c of the oxy connection. I did not experience that. I attribute it to our sex life. When I was dating my ex husband, there was something missing, a connection, a desire to be intimate and close. I talked with him about it and he said that he had those feelings but in his mind, those feelings and behaviors were saved for marriage. Whohoo! I thought oh, I’ve got one of those rare men, a man of virtue. But, no surprise to anyone here on lf, we married and it was the same, or if we did, it was perfunctory because he said I was too demanding and that he was trying to avoid displeasing me (shaming me, as if wanting affection during sex meant I was a b*). I thought he had low T and wouldn’t admit it, that his pride was injured.

This is what I eventually learned:
He wanted orgasms. Lots of them. Just didn’t want to have to bother with anything else. All his plumbing parts worked. But he was missing a heart. So, he had sex with anything and everything. He had hookers, visited glory holes, animals, lots alone with himself. He cheated with LOTS of women, told them I was cold. Well, maybe I was. It was not enjoyable to be used as an object and if I didn’t initial, we didn’t have sex. So… like someone else said… I stopped initiating what would turn into being used like a tool, and he used sex to hook his other victims.

Kathleen

I felt the same, used like an object not a person. The love is only on the empath’s part, which is difficult to understand and when you do understand if feels so cruel. Mine did the same – anything available, but also actively trawls the internet pretending to be normal and nice. Should be a crime, but how to prove it’s fake?

jmmira

Wow, that is messed up, animals, glory holes, seriously risky, wacko stuff! I actually think my wife has been an escort, dancer or prostitute. When I finally looked up her ex-husband, he said he heard rumors that she had worked as a dancer. A guy at work when we were dating had been passing around rumors that he recognized her from a club. She went to HR and got him in trouble, I didn’t think much of it at the time, but now I think it’s true.

For one thing, she’d give me a little lap dance once in a while. I’d think I was finally going to be intimate with my wife and then of course as usual she’d be asleep in my son’s bed.

Another thing is she’d talk about this older man that she claims to have been friends with. She never gave me any details, but now I think he must have been paying her for company.

And oddly, then I thought about the thongs and lingerie she had, but would never wear for me. I would say, well why don’t you throw them away then, since you never where this stuff. And she’d return with the “do you want me to throw them away?”. Always answering a question with a question. I just said, it surely doesn’t matter to me, you’re not interested in being attractive to me anymore! I don’t know how people get this way, but I’m tired of being blamed for her insanity!

I know she’s been through some psycho-analysis before, because she’d always use the word narcissist towards me and if I asked her too much about her past, she’d freak and tell me to stop psycho-analyzing her.

I swear… you can’t make this stuff up. I just posted on here earlier and deleted the post because I’m not quite done with my divorce and I’m devastated. NOBODY will listen to me! I went from being a confident, assertive and very honest guy, working towards multiple black belts in Karate to a complete mess in 12 years. I used to be disciplined, have zest for life, faith in God… it’s all gone. Honestly, I think of suicide every damn day, I just can’t freaking stand it anymore!

Sorry, I made this about me.. oh no, I’m an narcissist! But I do feel for ya. Oddly my wife seemed to be intimate (cuddling on the couch watching a movie) before we were married, but afterwards she had no interest at all. Like I said in another post, I could not even get a hug and a kiss.

She’d come home from shopping or work and the only one in the house she’d acknowledge was my son. She’d come in, walk past my office and cackle, “Oh Nicholas, look what I got for yoooo!”. Total insanity, I swear!

Kathleen

I feel sorry fore you and hope the divorce goes smoothly. I am purposely waiting the full 5 years to apply for a divorce (I’m not quite halfway through that). Otherwise, despite him sleeping with many, many women, he will object and go to court and lie, lie, lie about me. I couldn’t cope with his really good acting to ‘prove’ he’s the victim instead of me. After 5 years apparently I can get a divorce on the grounds of 5 years separation. It’s going slowly. I feel stupid falling for a fake, but hopefully I’ll be free in the end. Good luck with yours

NotWhatHeSaidofMe

jmmira.
Yes, from being so prudish that my ex said he was honoring me by “waiting until marriage” to… the bizarre, and NO Problem with sex outside marriage!

I also thought suicide. But I am over my sociopath. I am here because my children seem to be following his path and that’s a whole different can of worms. Once I finally found out what my ex was, I was able to find a way to heal, to replace memories with new. But what mom wants to replace memories of the whole reason she is a mom.

Anyhoo. Don’t do suicide, okay? There’s no recovery from that.

I tell you that I have found a GOOD life after my sociopath. I learned to recognize the difference between accountability and Blame. I accept my mistakes, and LEARN from them. And don’t let anyone blame you for what he did. I stopped the blame game simply by saying, “I’m glad you are having a different experience with him than I did.” and I change the subject or dismiss myself. (I LOVE LOVE LOVE Brene Brown on the subject of shame and vulnerability. I could have written her books for her! Look her up on You Tube, she makes great common sense for women, AND men!)

My ex also did something similar to yours, he’d rev up the engines, as it were, and I’d think we were going to have intimacy. I’d “freshen up” in under five min (brush my teeth, put on lingerie). and he’d be asleep. Men call those kind of women “c**Ktease. What do ya call a man who does that?

Stargazer225

That’s exactly my Dh’s MO. Didn’t sleep with me until after marriage — then, absolutely no connection or intimacy. Very robotic. He also did the thing where he treated me like a slut if I was “to into it” or had any interest really. That really takes a hit on your soul and your appetite for sex.

The lingerie thing was key too. I ALWAYS had to wear lingerie. No nakedness. That’s weird and I always wondered if he was gay so we needed to have a facade to make sex palatable. I don’t think he’s gay now. I think he’s unable to connect on any level and hates women. That makes him seem gay, but it’s really about power and control. Just like a rapist — only this is their outlet — to make their partners feel like sluts and whores for wanting sex. At least with his type. I used to wonder if he was too religious and guilt-ridden to enjoy it, but really, he enjoys nothing.

After all these years of marriage (20+) I have never known him. If someone told me he was sneaking out at night to feed the homeless, I’d nod and say, “yeah.” If someone told me he was a serial killer, I’d said, “I can believe that.” Because the truth is, I have no idea who he really is, nor do I care. I just want to get the hell away from him. When I can do that without leaving kids here, I’m gone! I am focusing on building my career back up and getting an outside job so I don’t have to count on him or his crazy games for a monthly check.

Bally

Jmmira, my understanding is that you are still in the “storm” and hence this feeling of hopelessness and despair. It is a horrible stage where you swing like a pendulum between anger and depression. It will pass. Try doing something new to help you pass through this phase, some novelty (I recall) that helps the dropping/dropped oxytocin levels in your brain. You may want to read some of Helen Fisher’s books. Have a look also at Donna’s recommended reads in the menu bar.

You have every right to feel this way and it is totally normal. We’ve all been there or are going through it. You have been lied to, conned, deceived, used, abused, ignored, deprieved, been a victim of an unfair system. The only thing worse than this is if you were still with her. You have to go through this final hell and after the storm there is tranquility. When you are feeling depressed think of the depression as an unwelcome guest in your house that you must sit with. They will eventually leave.

And remember it is not you who is disordered. You wouldn’t be thinking of suicide if it were not for your ex. The disorder is hers, let her keep it. Don’t let it near you. It is up to you to design the rest of your life. Suicide is an option to avoid current pain but such a waste when the pain will pass and you could design something for the future that can lead to a lot of pleasure.

Kathleen

I feel so sorry for you. Please stay on this site for support. It’s very hard without the complication of children and all the emotional stuff involved in that. I hope you will be able to have a normal relationship with your son eventually. As he grows he might, hopefully realise his mother isn’t normal. But even without all that, it’s so hard to deal with the slander, lack of love on their part, heartbreak, lies, promiscuity, parasitic way of life. It’s a real shock when our eyes are opened to the reality of the sociopath’s selfishness and lack of empathy. I am not brave enough to go to a therapist for the very reason you state. I am not brave enough to petition for a divorce until the full 5 years of separation have passed because, as sociopath’s are such convincing liars, a judge or lawyer will not believe me as the victim. If only you could find a lawyer, therapist and judge who understands what a sociopath actually is and how they are capable of destroying innocent people.

aintgonnatakeitnomore

ok, i keep reading these posts from women that they didnt have sex till after marriage and then found out the guy was a robot–and THATS why he didnt push sex beforehand, not that he respected them.
so ur damned if ur do and damned if u dont.
so discouraging.

Stargazer225

That’s true, but I’ll tell you even as a Christian, I wouldn’t get married again without having sex. Not that I ever want to get married again, but yeah, there’s going to be a test. LOL

Bally

Jmmira, I’m so sorry to learn about even more devastation – to have your son turned against you is tragic and soul-destroying. I can totally understand why you say my suggestion is not that simple and I agree with you.

I know that people use kids in divorce but what is worse is a narcissist doing it as I guess she won’t have any boundaries. It sounds like she is really trying to destroy you and you have no support because, lets face it, many therapists and lawyers don’t seem to really know about personality disorders. My experience is when you mention these things a lot of people feel uncomfortable and think you are a bit strange to have such knowledge – they basically think you’re a bit nuts!

Do think about contacting one of the resources from this site for help. They will also have valuable contacts that can help you with the legal stuff – the difference is that Donna selected them because they have been victims themselves of sociopaths etc. They know what you are dealing with.

Another suggestion is asking Donna to post your story as an article and ask Love Fraud readers who have been in the same situation to give you some help. You may want to think about specific questions to ask them.

I’m new to this site myself and don’t know many of the posters yet to point you in someone’s direction, so maybe an article about you may get you the help you need from readers.

I really feel for you…you must feel so alone and no one understands what you have gone through and it never ends….a big hug, please consider getting the support from professionals on this website.

Tryingtochange

All the comments I read remind me of similar things I have done and am currently doing to women (outside of a relationship of course). The only reason I dont cheat in life is because I wear it as a badge of honor to get other women to think I’m the perfect man. But I’ve dumped women at the drop of a dime if they inconvenienced my life in any substantial way. (without a bit of remorse).

Its hard for me to stay erect or finish inside a women unless alot of sexual requirements are met (nipple licking, etc). I often have to masturbate daily. I actively seek women to engage with regularly. It’s not that I want to deliberately ruin their lives but it pleases me to form what I think is a connection. I’ve been known on many occasions to build a beautiful fantasy for women (that at the time I think I want myself), But eventually I get bored once I’ve had sex with them and I exit the relationship.

I know full and well that what I’m doing is “wrong” but I also feel like it’s not THAT bad if that makes any sense.

But right now I’m taking forever to finish with women in the bedroom and I want to know how real love and love making feels. I honestly want to see how it is to live for someone other than myself for once.

bluedolphin

Tryingtochange – may I ask if you are diagnosed or consider yourself to be a sociopath?

When you say that it pleases you to form what you think is a connection, can you please elaborate further as into which kind of connection you look for? connection of love? or which type? So you say once you have had sex with them you exit the relationship because you get bored. So you don’t feel anything for those women? and do you hold several relationships at the same time?

I was involved with someone who obviously just wanted sex. We met 3 times and then one day he blocked me on whatsapp because I told him I won’t fly to meet beaters. He had threatened me with the possibility of beating me the next time I don’t understand something. So I guess I inconvenienced his life.

Tryingtochange

I’m self diagnosed (I was just never brought up to think getting professional help was ever an option). So, you can take my response with a grain of salt.

The connection is the fantasy of what I presume love is. Her enjoying everything about me and me enjoying everything about her. Her not nagging me and trusting me, etc. But these are all unrealistic because no where in that fantasy am I really breaking a sweat for her.

So the fantasy is what drives me to step my game up in the courtship process before sex. After the first sexual encounter or two I start cutting out all the walks in the park, dates and end up just chilling at her or my spot, doing things I ultimately enjoy, then having sex. (This isn’t necessarily planned out btw)

No I don’t necessarily care for the women as a person but I truly am appreciative of the convenience, sexiness, and chill attitude of women that allow me to be, apparently, selfish.

I am actively single but I pick and choose if I tell a girl I’m aggressively hooking up with other women or not. It all depends on if it will make things easier on me.

I technically have never cheated in the 2 relationships I’ve had in my adulthood. But like I said, I just keep that record up as a tool to court other women. The urge is there to cheat all the time so now I just break up with them if I feel the need to cheat. To be honest in my two relationships when that urge arose I would immediately engage in sex with them while thinking of the other girls. (the sex was very one sided) (I couldn’t care less if she was pleased or not)

“Beaters” ? He hit you ?

bluedolphin

Tryingtochange – yes, I touched him with a packet of tissues on his forehead. He suddenly got really annoyed saying that he was very sensitive to noise (I didn’t know). He told me I was crazy and that no one would like that. He said I have no empathy, etc and I tried to rationalize things with him as I didn’t understand a thing. Then he said that next time in order for me to understand he would have to beat me.

You said something interesting – that you decide if you tell other women whether you are hooking up with other women or not depending on whether it will make things easier for you. Thing is I always went crazy because the guy I was involved with would always tell me about all the women he was having sex with. He would even text me and tell me he was having sex with such and such. I never understood why the hell he told me about it as this would put you off and in fact I told him I didn’t want to know about it. On the other hand, he has other women and he doesn’t tell them at all about the other women, in fact, he lies to them and cheats on them. So why with me he was telling me about all the women he was with and with others he hid it? that I never understood.

Yes, he told me that mutual trust and respect are critical for him but he never respected me.

I think it is interesting to have the perspective of someone who understands this personally as you seem to do. I am not sure if it would be too much to ask for but if you read my story, could you please tell me if the guy I was with presents the traits of a psychopath under your point of view?

My story is http://www.lovefraud.com/2015/09/02/letter-to-lovefraud-he-told-me-i-would-get-addicted-to-him/

Russell1

Bluedolphin,

I just came across this site. Much of what you said, I too experienced. Unfortunately, I happen to be the 1st love of the abuser. We are from different countries and tried off and on over a period of 11 years to make a go of it. When we split I found my current husband and we were married just over a year later.

Because I remembered the 18 year old loving, interested,and ever so careful to not hurt my feelings by raising his voice, I never got over him and years later accepted contact when his marriage fell apart.

The first number of months were loaded with contact, compliments, catching up on everyone and everything. I rediscovered my younger self and found a part that was missing (him). As time went by, it was hard to get that fix because he always had an excuse of way he was not there. The last 2 summers I went back to where we met for a wedding in his family. He had moved away but came back. Same behavior there, Meeting up at 2 in the afternoon and hard to discuss anything, because he would only talk about what he wanted to talk about and only do that when he felt the time was right. Nothing indicating that he couldn’t wait to meet up with us.

Came to the point he wanted sex and I said I could not. Then I was told I was selfish. I called after we both returned home and went through the same behavior. Add that this guy has a problem with alcohol and gambling and the picture is worse. He most likely was on the phone with his gambling buddy and had been drinking. It was hard to get much time on the phone, but I made it clear that anyone who is interested in another wants to spend time with them and makes regular contact.

The shocker was when he mentioned that the problem is my husband and I would have to leave him and live alone for a while. My response was “why would I do that? At least he enjoys my company.” I mentioned that he does show interest when he is drunk, just not to me. Then I mentioned how he groped his niece and he got off the phone. Of course he denied it, but both my 17 year old son and I took video when it happened.

Last summer and this summer there were constant references to women we would come across on the street. I thought the comments were degrading. My son found them offensive. The women were in their mid 20’s to 30’s. He is 53, I am 54 (even though he has admitted numerous times that I have very few crow feet and look not a day over 40). Same weight as in high school. I say these things to point out that the focus of the age would be hard to compete with, even if almost all of the younger ones were not beautiful, just young.

Last summer it was my 17 year old that told me that this guy is a sociopath. The instincts were so good that I suggested that clinical psychology may be his future.

My heart goes out to you bluedophin. The pull is very strong. I have always felt that sizing women up on appearance is totally shallow, even told him. Yet, it never stops. I have complained about his not being around when I have time to talk and then I limited contact to 2 days on the weekend. Still many times he was not around. He chose to spend his time on his bad habits talking trash with other guys. I will not be told what to do, he says and then claims I am bossy.

After he hung up on the last conversation, I tried to call back to tell him my bottom line. No answer. So, I put on Skype that I will not be calling again and to feel free to leave messages to tell me you are still alive and that I do care. He was on, but not sure if looking at skype.

This long reply is to offer support, but also to convey the insight that has come out of this. For me, the younger teenage man, who placed me at the center of his world, remained in my mind. The spark burned bright and strong to leave it’s remains with both of us for 35 years. I know that to prevent being pulled in I must not think about that time long ago or what could have been. I also need to focus on the person that stood before me 20 years ago and now today. That person has nothing to lose. That person is dishonest, manipulative, self-centered, and will only provide the crumbs of attention when he wants. That person constantly asked over the last 2 summers “Who is the boss?” The reply was always, “I am.” My 17 year old found that odd and frustrating as well. Keep sight of what you see and your instincts. Would you really want a life with a person like that?

bluedolphin

Russell1 – Thank you for your reply. That story I posted is from last year. I know I don’t want to be with him but the verbal and psychological abuse was horrible. He blocked me in August last year only 10 days after I visited him in his country with no warning or anything. I told him I would never again to fly beaters and people who rape. He replied “or gagging, or threesome, or fisting, or bondage” and after that I never heard from him again. No explanation, not even a chance to talk, nothing. During that visit he threatened me with beating me and he raped me (I believe what he did was rape despite being in a consented situation). I hadn’t posted here in a while and only last week something happened (I don’t know if you read it or not).

I write it here:

By accident and without looking for it I came across his gf’s facebook profile. After all the abuse he had carried out on me and how he discarded me I really wanted to contact the gf to let her know what he is doing behind her back, not just with me but with many other women. I wrote to her facebook telling her what is going on and I sent screenshots as proof on Monday night. Then on Tuesday, I received messages and we kept exchanging messages for about 1 and 1/2 hour. Two days later I received messages from her mobile phone on whatsapp and at the start I thought it was her. Even the first day I talked to her on facebook I noticed some expressions were like his and I wondered but the day talking on the phohe on whatsapp I realised it was him and he didn’t hide it anymore. In fact it had been him the one writing all the time from the first day. First he was writing as if he was the gf but then it was clear it was him.

You cannot believe what he said for 2 hours on whatsapp (and he is with the gf now). He called me deplorable, he said that when he threatened with beating me last year while with him it was because I deserved it. He told me I like to be insulted, rejected and beaten and that I deserve that. He said I am like a prostitute, easier than a prostitute “because prostitute charge us to have sex and you have sex with a strange for free” (he himself told me so many times that he likes to have sex with strangers). He told me I am more stupid than he thought and that is why he used me easily and that is why he blocked me. He said that I am a stupid puppet and a stupid bitch.

He said that I am ugly and that it was the worse sex he ever had. He constantly told me that I love him and that I want his penis and sex. He in the middle of all this sent me a picture attached of his down part although wearing underwear. he said “When you miss MY PENIS, look at that and remember that good sex that you never will have again”. He asked if I wanted him to send pics of him and the gf naked having sex.
He told me he could consider me as a second option for only sex if I waited. I said to him “try me, just try me and you will see”. Then he said I am deplorable, called me bitch non stop, then told me he doesn’t want me. Constantly telling me I cannot forget his big penis. He told me he doesn’t care about my tears. He said “Do you know that I don’t want you anymore? even knowing that I can have you when I want”. “You are crazy for me bitch”. He said “I could leave her to be with you to then say “I changed my mind”. Then described me how nice she is, her skin, her body, her hair to then tell me I am ugly. He told me I believed in everything he told me and that I was stupid to do so because he was lying (this is because he used to tell me that the gf and him break up and fight all the time, he told me she is too stupid and simple minded, that they have different expectations, that there was disrespect, etc). He didn’t even need to make it look like their “relationship” was bad because he had already got what he wanted from me and in fact, he wasn’t planning to meet me again so that doesn’t even make sense. He said I am easy like a prostitute without having to pay. He kept asking if I wanted to see his big penis. He said “I don’t want you and never wanted you”, telling me that she is better than me.

I told him he uses all women and he said “no, only stupids like you”. That he never loved me and he does love her, that he just spent his time with me while he waited for her (they see each other twice or three times a year as they live in different continents).
He asked if I have gone to the police yet, just laughing. I said I feel sorry for him and he said “you won’t go to the Police then?”.
I told him in my last trip I realised who he really is and that I would have never gone back to him, ever. He asked “who am I?” and I said “someone capable of beating”. to what he answered ” you deserved” and I said that he is also someone who rapes to what he said “you searched for that, so take the consequences”.

The gf had visited him in March 2015 and in April he flew to me. He visited the gf in December 2014 and in January 2015 he flew to another woman….this is his style.

But why did he spend 1 and 1/2 hours the first day last week and 2 hours two days later writing to me from his gf’s FB account and phone while he is with her on holidays? Why didn’t he just call me bitch, which he did 22 times, and disappear?. Why invest that amount of time writing to me while he is with her on holidays during one of those 2 or 3 times they see each other a year? I just find it so strange……..And 2nd : I wrote for the 1st time to her FB account on Monday night. There I told her what was going on and sent her screenshots as proof. Ok, then the next day I start to get messages, of course thinking it was her as it was her FB account, and we spent 1 and 1/2 hours typing on FB. I always thought it was her I was talking to. And 2 days later I realised it was not her typing either on FB or her phone as I thought but him all the time. So question: has she even seen my initial messages and screenshots, the ones I sent on Monday night? why was he writing all the time from the very first message and not her???? What do you think happened here from the moment I wrote those first messages on Monday night? I don’t understand this at all.

What I would have expected is him having blocked me so that I cannot send more proof or even talk.

bluedolphin

I re read this article and it rings bells everywhere. Only the other day while talking to him (when I thought it was the gf I was talking to) he kept telling me that he loves the gf and she loves him. I told him that cheating and lying (what he does constantly to her) is not within the definition of love. He kept telling me “your definition of love”. I said, no, world wide definition of love not just mine. He said that is my opinion and that he doesn’t care.

Regarding the gay, straight, etc. I was recently thinking much about this. I remember once he was going to tell me something about him. He started saying that there was something else about him and then he thought twice and told me that some things are better kept for one self, that knowing too much has a price and that he told a gf in the past and she couldn’t take it and broke up with him, so basically he didn’t get to tell me. However I made a compilation of very suspicious comments he made and which made me really wonder:

1. he told me about a festival in his city and told me he doesn’t like it because people drink. He asked: “didn’t you hear how 3 British guys were drunk and one was raping another?”. Out of the whole festival this is all he could say.

2. He said “I am curious about girls, not boys. I am not gay”. This was in a context where affirming with such intensity that he is not gay was not necessary at all. You could simply say that you only like girls and that is it.

3. While talking one day he said “I am allergic to men”. Again, such a strong affirmation was not needed in the context of the talk. You can simply say you don’t like them but allergic???

4. When he was driving me to the airport when I visited him we were stopped at the traffic lights and there was a sort of black guy standing in the street and he said something like “he is an attractive/good looking or sexy guy”. I thought he was telling me to see if I liked him. I never knew what he meant.

5. And finally, he said one day to me “my fellow student invited me to his house to a party. He tried to show me nude pictures, to find out if I had balls.

Of course, all these comments were made randomly and at different times and I never paid attention to them. But when I put them all together I really started to wonder if something is going on here.

Sunnygal

Sandra Brown says psychopaths are edgy. At first it seems neutral but eventually you pay. I have found this true.

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