Lovefraud has heard from many people who have been romantically involved with sociopaths. They often comment on the “amazing sex.”
Many sociopaths are skilled lovers, and there are reasons for this.
First of all, sociopaths are hard-wired for sex. They have an excessive need for stimulation, excitement and sensation. They also have no fear and no inhibitions. From a sexual perspective, that means a voracious appetite and anything goes.
Secondly, sociopaths get a lot of practice. They usually start young—precocious sexuality is one of the early behavior problems typical of a sociopath. As they get older, sociopaths continue to engage in frequent, casual sex. Sociopaths have plenty of partners, and plenty of opportunities to learn.
Sex but no love
But just because there’s sex—even what appears to be wild, passionate sex—doesn’t mean there’s love. Sociopaths may be technically competent lovers, but there will never be any true intimacy or emotional sharing involved.
Many people who have contacted Lovefraud have been confused by this. Their encounters seemed so caring, so earth-moving, that it was difficult to believe there was no love.
Here are the facts: Sociopaths are not capable of love. Sociopaths are, however, convincing liars, and they know that if they say the words “I love you,” they’ll probably get more sex.
Furthermore, when a sociopath seduces his or her target, it’s a way of establishing control. Along with getting the physical desires of the moment met, the sociopath may also be getting money and a free place to live. All for whispering a few sweet nothings—and to the sociopath, they truly mean nothing.
Diagnosing the disorder
The most accurate tool for diagnosing whether someone is a sociopath (also called a psychopath) is the Psychopathy Check List-Revised (PCL-R), developed by Dr. Robert Hare. The tool, administered by a trained professional, rates the person on 20 items to determine an overall psychopathy score.
One of the items evaluated is “promiscuous sexual behavior.” This is defined as impersonal sexual relationships, frequent one-night stands, cheating, frequent casual sex, several sexual relationships at the same time, deception to convince others to engage in sexual activity, and possible charges for sexual assault. (Believe me, sociopaths are capable of all of it.)
Another item on the check list is “many short-term marital relationships.” This means the person has frequent unstable interpersonal relationships and/or multiple marriages.
Irresponsible and casual sex, therefore, is one of the hallmarks of sociopathic behavior. Some sociopaths are also capable of truly frightening sexual violence—but that’s a topic for another post.
soimnotthecrazee1
LL,
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! Whatever you say woman!! I don’t get the locomotive part…. but OK!!
I just hope you are getting a real understanding from LF what you need to be thinking for your better interest right now. It sucks about having to run into him here and there, that’s why I moved 700 miles away back home. That POS had ruined 3 years of my life and I wasn’t going to give him the power to ruin more. Even though the recovery from this hasn’t been as quick as I thought it would be. I’m better off now that I have a full understanding of the fact that is wan’t ME…. IT WAS HIM!!!!!
hugsss
soimnotthecrazee1!
lesson learned
S1
LOL!! Clarification: Your JOY is so obvious it’s like a train moving into the station and inviting us all for a joy ride LOL!!! Silly!!
I WISH I could move. But I’m thinking about my children on this one. They didn’t ask for this situation and they are STABLE here, lots of friends, same school, town for years. They’re happy here. With all that is going on, it wouldn’t be wise to remove them from their happiness. For right now, since all of my classes are online, I’m sending daughter and BF to do grocery shopping, run errands. They are aware of what is happening with me and are very supportive. My daughter is a very strong cookie and she is more than happy to help out in keeping me safe from POS, even if just emotionally for now.
700 miles does give you the ability to get clearer sooner S1. Sure wish I had the ability. I sure do! I think if I did, I would probably heal a lot faster knowing that toxic wasn’t in my face with gf just down the road.
LL
lesson learned
Petitie!
If you make it through this, someday when you whiz your way here to Oregon, we WILL have that celebratory dinner. Of ourselves, of our victories and, if we need too, talk about the losses that brought us here in the first place and that we BOTH had the strength to say no to spathy and yes to freedom, healing growth and BETTER CHOICES!
I’ll be prayin Chica. You can do it 🙂
soimnotthecrazee1
LL,
700 miles away has had it’s demons also. I am in the house I grew up in and just lost Mom 2 years ago and in that was int he middle of my “TRAIN WRECK”!!!! I have regurgitated my whole childhood while trying to heal and grieve MOM and work full time and manage 100 people and run to help my sick brother and and and!!! Have you ever seen that carnival game where you have a mallet to hit the things that pop up and you don’t know where they are going to pop up at and you bash and miss, and you bash and miss, and you bash and miss!!! LOLOL Welcome to my life!!!!!
Train 101…. getting ready for departation!!!!!
Soimnottherazee1!
soimnotthecrazee1
Soimnotthrazee1 says:::
TIME FOR BOARDING!!!!!! ALL PASSENGERS ALL ABOARD!!!! LAST CALL!!!! ALL PASSENGERS ALL ABOARD!!! PETITE YOU HAVE A SEAT RESERVED!!!
DESTINATION: SELF ACCEPTANCE, SELF LOVE, SELF FORGIVENESS!!!
JOURNEY: A TOUR OF INNER SELF!!!
WE WILL BE CHANGING TRAINS@ THE HEART STATION, THE BRAIN STATION AND @ THE BODY STATION. IT IS WINDY MAKE SURE YOU HAVE ALL WIGS, HATS AND CHILDREN SECURED!!!
HENS MAKE SURE THAT BOXES DOORS ARE CLOSED!
CHOOO CHOOO CHOOO CHOO!!! WHOOH WHOOH!!! CHUG,,,,, CHUG,,,,,,
HERE WE GO!!!!
and I think I’m not crazee!!!lolololololol!!
petite
thanks LL< yes I remember the dinner appointment with you.
will do it, I have made up my mind, convinced that he cannot be my guy.
petite
petite
SIC 1
really funny. you brought a nice big smile to my streesed out face and mind.
thanks for your support.
petitie
soimnotthecrazee1
Petite,
LOLOLOL your abbreviation for my name is sick 1!!
see:SIC 1
LOLOLOL!! I am glad you smiled. I read your post about him not being for you,,, you go GIRL!!!! DO NOT change your mind!!!
SIC 1
soimnotthecrazee1
where did LL go? I did the train post for her!!!
petite
sorry SC,
did not realise it sounded that way.
looks like LL went off to sleep.
SC- what did you think about my understanding of how they think we are their possessions when they say ‘ I wil always love you”
petitie