Lovefraud has heard from many people who have been romantically involved with sociopaths. They often comment on the “amazing sex.”
Many sociopaths are skilled lovers, and there are reasons for this.
First of all, sociopaths are hard-wired for sex. They have an excessive need for stimulation, excitement and sensation. They also have no fear and no inhibitions. From a sexual perspective, that means a voracious appetite and anything goes.
Secondly, sociopaths get a lot of practice. They usually start young—precocious sexuality is one of the early behavior problems typical of a sociopath. As they get older, sociopaths continue to engage in frequent, casual sex. Sociopaths have plenty of partners, and plenty of opportunities to learn.
Sex but no love
But just because there’s sex—even what appears to be wild, passionate sex—doesn’t mean there’s love. Sociopaths may be technically competent lovers, but there will never be any true intimacy or emotional sharing involved.
Many people who have contacted Lovefraud have been confused by this. Their encounters seemed so caring, so earth-moving, that it was difficult to believe there was no love.
Here are the facts: Sociopaths are not capable of love. Sociopaths are, however, convincing liars, and they know that if they say the words “I love you,” they’ll probably get more sex.
Furthermore, when a sociopath seduces his or her target, it’s a way of establishing control. Along with getting the physical desires of the moment met, the sociopath may also be getting money and a free place to live. All for whispering a few sweet nothings—and to the sociopath, they truly mean nothing.
Diagnosing the disorder
The most accurate tool for diagnosing whether someone is a sociopath (also called a psychopath) is the Psychopathy Check List-Revised (PCL-R), developed by Dr. Robert Hare. The tool, administered by a trained professional, rates the person on 20 items to determine an overall psychopathy score.
One of the items evaluated is “promiscuous sexual behavior.” This is defined as impersonal sexual relationships, frequent one-night stands, cheating, frequent casual sex, several sexual relationships at the same time, deception to convince others to engage in sexual activity, and possible charges for sexual assault. (Believe me, sociopaths are capable of all of it.)
Another item on the check list is “many short-term marital relationships.” This means the person has frequent unstable interpersonal relationships and/or multiple marriages.
Irresponsible and casual sex, therefore, is one of the hallmarks of sociopathic behavior. Some sociopaths are also capable of truly frightening sexual violence—but that’s a topic for another post.
lesson learned
to be…
**sigh**….must be great to know that his story went on with someone else the same way it did for you.
And that you BOTH had the last laugh.
I wish I could say the same. It’s my vengeance talking though…
Instead it just looks like he gets away with everything…and there’s still people around, like new gf and his father of the year status in having joint custody of his children, his job, blah blahblah………..UGH!!!
hens
LL Am I confused? Are you the same ‘Learn the Lesson’ that was blogging about the time I started almost three years ago? Please forgive me for not being sure about this. If you are one and the same I have about 20 questions to ask you.!
soimnotthecrazee1
Hi Hens!!
How are you? Nice and quiet here tonight. I like it! That means there is peace in our LF land peoples lives.ithat’s a good thing!
Peace to all!!
Soimnotthecrazee1!
hens
hello Notcraze1 – I am having one of those sleepless nite’s. How are you doing? I am good thanks for asking.
soimnotthecrazee1
Hens,
Those kind of nights suck! I too am in that catagory, I slept most of the day on and off… between phone calls and movies. I saw “Diary of a mad black woman” today and it is soooo good!!! Pass the tissues please!! Then I got busy trying to put away Christmas decorations and a little cleaning. I have lived in the “I wanna do” fog for way too long. I need to do and I started a little today. I just hope it continues tomorrow!!! Glad that you are doing good! Hugss
Soimnotthecrazee1!
soimnotthecrazee1
Oh Geez!!! one of my bathrooms is not working now!! the toilet tank won’t fill up with water. Gotta call the plumber in the am. Can’t sleep in that bedroom. Gotta sleep in another br with bath ARGGGGHHH!!! Oh well al least I have indoor plumbing!!! LOLOLOLOL!
SC1!
soimnotthecrazee1
OK hurricane survivior here… I figured it out!! Duh!! Still need a plumber to fix it in the am!!!
night all and PEACE WITH NO SPATH’S HERE!!!
Sweet Dreams!!
lesson learned
Hens,
No. Not me. I think there’s been confusion about that before.
hens
OH My – I feel like a butt…
lesson learned
hens,
LOL,why?? I should read up on Learn the Lessons stories I guess. LOL! You’re NOT a butt!