Although some see sociopaths as too emotionally deficient to experience the despair necessary to suicide, I see suicide as offering a viable option for some sociopaths, and I’m going to explain why.
Let me start with a bit of crude, brutal logic: for many sociopaths, as we know, life is very much a game; hence, when game over, life over. No more game, what’s left? The answer may be, nothing.
And yet it may be less “despair” and “depression” with which the sociopath is left when his act has been shut-down than his preferring no longer to deal with an existence he knows will cease supplying the gratifications to which he’s grown accustomed, perhaps addicted and certainly privileged.
In the face, then, of this massive problem, the sociopath, with his notorious penchant for escaping inconvenient situations, may consider “checking-out” out of life—suiciding—when it, too, becomes insolubly inconvenient.
Some sociopaths, recognizing that their run of exploitation has ended, may use suicide as a final act of rebellion and contempt, as if to express, “See! You may have apprehended me, but watch! I’ll kill myself, and so I’ll escape again! Nobody gets me. Nobody makes me account! I am accountable to myself only, and now I choose to disappear, permanently. Ha!”
Of course, we’re all acquainted with the incarcerated sociopath who seeks his death, and may even generate publicity around his quest to be capitally executed. His is the case of the imprisoned sociopath asking the state, in effect, by proxy, to assist him in his suicide. What are we to make of this?
For some, the specter of the prisoner seeking execution arouses a certain sympathy; the prisoner may be seen as pursuing a form of ennobled self-justice, which may be interpreted (or rather, misinterpreted) as reflecting his belated humanity.
But what is the incarcerated, suicide-seeking sociopath really doing? Where is he really coming from? The answer is that he’s doing what he’s always done—exploiting for an edge, an advantage.
In such cases his spirited self-advocacy for death-by-state reflects some very basic sociopathic tendencies, among them his audacious grandiosity and arrogance. For even in his wretched, no-status state, here he is making noise and refusing to recognize limits—that is, he’s still attempting to exercise omnipotent control; he’s determined to determine even the way he dies!
But the incarcerated sociopath’s pursuit of assisted suicide-by-state is also, and probably principally, about his desire to escape a life intolerably devoid of gratifications.
Remember that, for many sociopaths, life without an ongoing infusion of gratification is like living in prison. For some of these sociopaths, this just is not a life worth living.
It is possible that despair, finally, is a driving factor when sociopaths attempt or commit suicide. However, it is the source of his despair that’s probably most noteworthy and distinguishing: the sociopath often feels his despair as an existence intolerably devoid of sufficient gratifications, and the promise of future gratifications. And so his despair derives, ultimately, from the frustration of his greedy, insatiable demands.
Adding to his despair is the probable sense of his shattered omnipotence—that is, the sense that he can no longer exercise the kind of control over others, and control over (and satisfaction of) his gratification-habit to which he developed a deep, arrogant sense of entitlement.
The sociopath’s belief in his omnipotence, a belief deployed in the service of producing continual gratifications, gives him his superficial, if not only, purpose in life. Deprive him of it, and all bets are off.
(This article is copyrighted © 2010 by Steve Becker, LCSW. My use of male gender pronouns was for convenience’s sake and not to suggest that females aren’t capable of the attitudes and behaviors discussed.)
jazzy129
My ex-spath told me online…why don’t you just kill yourself? He wouldn’t commit suicide if his mommy was still around to ‘rescue him’ again. 45 years old…pitiful.
I don’t really blame his Mom…he’s playing her like he tries to play everyone else.
ErinBrock
JURY IS ABOUT TO READ THE BIELA MURDER TRIAL VERDICT
Watch it live.
Click on below link.
Watch the defendant smiling waiting for his verdict….
WEIRD!!!
http://www.kolotv.com/
jazzy129
Trying to watch…I’m getting an error
ErinBrock
The bald defense attorney looks shell shocked….he knows it’s not good news coming.
Defendents doing the obligitory neck stretch…
Ox Drover
Dear Rosa,
HOW RIGHT YOU ARE!!!!!! I wish I could say (and mean it) “Rosa you are full of BS!,” but I can’t, your point about NEVER KNOWING to what extent they can ADVANCE to QUICKLY is very scary!
I never even imagined my X-DIL would ever EVER try to kill anyone, much less try to kill my son C. I knew she was “sneaky,” I just didn’t know HOW SNEAKY! Deceptive–but not HOW DECEPTIVE!
I think the POTENTIAL FOR VIOLENCE/MURDER is in them all if the circumstances are there, and they are cornered, or have a big enough narcissistic-injury or threat to their plans.
The big thing is, I KNOW I PROVOKED my P son into the murder attempt on me because he knew I had CONTROL over the “family estate” and the only way he could get it was “over my dead body.” That was FINE WITH HIM!
Any time you try to “punish” or “control” them or get between them and what they want or think is theirs, LOOK OUT, they can do some amazingly bad things. If you “pith off” someone “normal” they might, MIGHT, CONSIDER slapping you and huffing off in a stomp, but these people PLAY FOR KEEPS.
ErinBrock
GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS!!!!
Ox Drover
Dear ErinB,
I just noticed the TEMP where you are is 57 degrees! I used to visit the Reno/Tahoe area a lot years and years ago!
It is 91 today here (hot for this time of year but we need it for the hay crop!)
Spent a June in Colorado at 9,000 feet a couple of years ago and gosh it was nice even if I couldn’t breathe the thin air, it was SO COOL! Get the air matress out, I’m coming to visit for the summer! LOL I’ve got Fat saddled up and Hairy with a pack saddle and I’m headed west! Let’s see, at 20 miles a day, might make 30 (could have done 50 when I was a kid) miles a day, gosh, might as well cancel, I won’t be there til WINTER!
Well, at least there are 12 people in the state that are not total fools!
ErinBrock
Uh yeah oxy…..it’s snowing right now and has been for the last week…..i’m envious when I hear the woes of the heat stories here.
I got plenty of bedrooms….and your always welcome…..
Hopefully you’ll bring good weather!!!
“Well, at least there are 12 people in the state that are not total fools!” (can you make that 13 pleeeze!) 🙂
ErinBrock
The defense is addressing jury now ….penalty phase!
Arguing against death.
He says the DP is reserved for the worst of the worst…..
WTF????? His client is what…..half way worst? INSULTING!
ErinBrock
Defense is describing how JB grew up, with abuse and yadayada…..
how he’s beena model inmate since arrest. How he handled himself sincebeing attacked in prison and how he didn’t cause it….
I guess he’s trying to humanize him…..
This ought to be interesting now….with his family all speakingetc…..
He’s describing him as a nice guy…..YEAH….the gals he raped and murdered were TOO!