A sociopath is someone who has a pervasive and persistent disregard for the rights and feelings of others. This disregard is manifested in the antisocial behavior sociopaths show. While we usually think of antisocial behavior as criminal, not all antisocial acts are illegal. A person who slips up once is not a sociopath. Sociopathy is a lifestyle.
Since humans are designed to live in society, a healthy personality has prosocial inclinations. Therefore, people who are pervasively antisocial are disordered in the sense that they are not the norm (thank God). Although antisocial behaviors are observable actions like lying, stealing and assault, there are personality traits that cause antisocial behavior. It should come as no surprise that people who have a sense of entitlement, over-rate their own greatness and have poor self-control are more likely to hurt others and show pervasive antisocial behavior.
The American Psychiatric Association has defined a group of personality disorders it calls “cluster B”. According to a recent paper* by German psychiatrist, Christian Huchzermeier, M.D., “ The cluster includes disturbances of personality that go hand in hand with emotional dysregulation phenomena, a tendency towards aggressive—impulsive loss of control, egoistic exploitation of interpersonal relationships, and a tendency to overestimate one’s own importance.”
The disorders of “cluster B” go together because what underlies them is a disturbance in three developmentally acquired abilities I have called The Inner Triangle. These abilities are:
Ability to Love
Impulse Control
Moral Reasoning
These abilities that a child gains during development are a triangle because the development of each depends on the other two. A child begins to acquire ability to love in the first year of life, impulse control begins in the second year of life. At two years of age there is already a link between ability to love and impulse control. Children with the best impulse control also are the most loving/empathetic. Moral reasoning begins in the third year of life and its development depends on a loving nature and impulse control. Similarly the most moral kids are also the most loving and self-controlled.
I think of the cluster B disorders as different manifestations of damage to the inner triangle. I think of sociopaths as individuals who completely lack ability to love and have impaired impulse control and moral reasoning.
Given the Inner Triangle, it should come as no surprise that it can be difficult to find people who have only one cluster B personality disorder. For that reason individuals with antisocial personality, narcissistic personality, borderline personality and histrionic personality often have symptoms of the other disorders. If someone gets a diagnosis of only one of these, it doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t also have one or all of the others. The person making the diagnosis simply thought that the one chosen best described the person. You should know there is a gender bias in diagnosis such that women are often labeled “borderline.” These women can also be sociopaths who leave a trail of victimized friends, lovers and children in their wakes.
A recent study reported in Behavioral Science and the Law, “The Relationship Between DSM-IV Cluster B Personality Disorders and Psychopathy According to Hare’s Criteria: Clarification and Resolution of Previous Contradictions” examines the relationship between psychopathic personality traits as defined by the screening version of the PCL and Cluster B personality disorders. The authors of this study were careful to examine people who had only one cluster B disorder. They found psychopathy to be associated with all cluster B disorders.
The authors conclude:
“One clinical implication of our results, nevertheless, is that in cases where a cluster B personality disorder is diagnosed a high psychopathy value is to be expected, especially where antisocial, borderline or narcissistic personality disorder is involved. The PCL score is a better predictor of subsequent events, such as problems during (criminal) custody or a relapse into delinquency, than a diagnosis of a DSM-IV personality disorder, especially in forensic populations; therefore, an additional investigation with the PCL should be carried out, if a cluster B personality disorder has been diagnosed.”
It is important for Lovefraud readers to be aware of this study especially if there is a divorce/custody proceeding or a cluster B personality disorder has been diagnosed. Many people might think that if the partner has been “diagnosed borderline” or “diagnosed narcissistic” that means the partner is not a psychopath/sociopath. This study suggests otherwise. IF YOU ARE INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS THESE YOU HAVE TO CONSIDER THEIR HARMFUL BEHAVIOR AS AN INDICATION OF PSYCHOPATHY/SOCIOPATHY. There are some people with cluster B, histrionic, borderline and narcissistic disorders who are not highly antisocial. But if the person is lying, cheating and manipulating, that is antisocial behavior. This behavior in the context of any cluster B means the person is potentially very dangerous. As the authors state:
“Screening for PCL-based psychopathy can also be important for general psychiatric patients with a DSM-IV personality disorder, so that potential difficulties in the course of their treatment can be anticipated and this comorbidity can be targeted in the planning of therapy. Patients with both a DSM-IV personality disorder and PCL-based psychopathy can exhibit behavior that is particularly dangerous to therapy (Stafford & Cornell, 2003).”
If you have been diagnosed with borderline personality and reading this frightens you, I am sorry. You can improve by working on your inner triangle. Talk to your therapist about DBT a treatment that is very effective in improving the state of the Inner Triangle in people who are motivated to do it.
*The reference for the paper discussed is Behav. Sci. Law 25: 901—911 (2007).
DJ…my child (and your friend)..say 10 Hail Oprahs, and go and sin no more…unless something else cool happens LOL
oh theres the missing text I had to rewrite! lol It appeared at the end of my post! lol = still learnING how to use the comment box! LMAO
learnINGthelesson-yeah, I didn’t preview one…anyway, the nightmare P demon had an “extra arm and clawed hand” not an “extra clawed arm and hand” Didn’t really detract from the scary image…gonna sleep with a garlic necklace if she shows up again! I don’t think about her when I’m awake…that took three years…
Jim(funnyone) – the vivid descriptions of dreams/nighmares, snake hooks, running into X-DIL’s, and farm animals and parties and silliness is such good medicine for my soul! I know youre nightmare was no laughing matter, but the description was a good laugh! Better watch out for that skillet tho! Three years is a long time, but you yourself said you feel like your in heaven – so it must have been worth the journey on some level. Good for you!!
learnINGthe lesson…the demon nightmare was pretty funny after my heart rate recovered…and I sleep with a Glock17 under the pillow (the boyfriend…another story for another time)…no holes in the wall to repair!
The SKILLET? I’m gonna find me a Harry Potter wand, picture Oxy on a mule with a stuffed vulture hat (Oxy, not the mule…syntax, right?) If she comes after me with the skillet…RIDIKULUS!…she’s locked in the cabinet!
Speaking of S’s and P’s….DEMENTORS! Cold and steal all the joy…don’t even think about kissing one!
Gotta go…need cigs (my last vice), reading Gavin De Becker’s “The Gift of Fear”, and the cat’s begging for “lap time”…TTFN…Ain’t life grand…after the P!
Jim,
Yes, so many things from Harry Potter have come to mind for me too….Death Eaters too….(true selves hidden). And we all need to learn occlumency…..techniques to ward off someone trying to take over your thoughts . Because even after going no contact, they tend to have free rent in your head for a long time! And it takes so long to come out of the fog. Also, I forget what it was called, but when someone inhabits someone else’s body ….at times I was acting SO UNLIKE myself, it felt like that!
Jim – (the other stories…bet they could rival mine… another time:)
Oxy on a mule w/stuffed vulture hat chasing you slow as molasses with the skillet….ROTF!!
Right on the money about the S/P’s. Id rather kiss a one of Oxys Frogs on her farm… or dare I say Stars snake than do that!
I quite the cigs after the P went away (interesting huh!) Im presently reading Oxy’s suggested book..but will add that to my list as well! Life is alot less dramatic w/out him and learning to see life through my own eyes again brings more and more clarity into my world. The fog is lifting…. 🙂
Justabouthealed – I loathe the fact that they have free rent in our head for such a long time! I just cant wrap myself around that one. We should want nothing whatsoever about them in our head. And.. out of the blue there he is. Now I try to see him through the eyes of the old me, as if we are saying hello for the first time and but fast forwarding that scenario to the here and now as if I had the knowledge in advance of the monster he is and I dont get as many of those mixed emotions about him/the lure I experienced fromhim in my head. I get a wave of coldness and disrepect and a general UGH feeling about him. It helps. Its midnight… time to turn in. Its a new P/S free day everyone!
Oxy, thanks so much for sharing the “Tale of the auction”. It seems your Ex-DIL is running for the Oscars in the Make up department! You can be proud of yourself for having made a BIG step forward. Some week ago you bumped into your egg donor and it gave you a draw back that lasted quite a while, and the egg donor was not trying to kill you after all. And now you get just COOL on the killer-wanna-be-hog. Wonderful potted plant tactics! Hilarious!!!! I’d give you undoubtedly a 10 for technical merit and a 10 for artistic impression! (I just LOVE the ice skating rating system for that matter) Towanda!!!
Sabinne: the night is at its darkest point just before the morning breaks. Be kind to yourself, don’t let the x know how vulnerable you really feel, though I am convinced you are far stronger than you might think you are now!
I know you can do this, as you found this site and can get strength out of it, i.e. knowledge and wisdom. You know now what he is up to, you know HIS wiring of his brain, you also know about the lack of some very important synapses and what is NOT working with him (reasonably talk for instance), and so you can plan the steps ahead; you can be prepared, forewarned is forearmed! THIS IS WAR! There is no fair game in war (isn’t the saying that there is no fair game in love too? must have been observed and uttered by a P/N/S-victim too!)
Get a better lawyer! They all take the same money, and a bad one is even more expensive than a reasonably payed GOOD one! Maybe Matt can give some very good legal advice?
Seems that the various ex-X are under an unlucky stellar constellation these days, payment day! Oxys, Stars, mine at work, all get what they deserve! Time is on our side! Towanda!! I am off to skiing now for a week, and I am most confident things will sort out perfectly! My thoughts go out to you all, take care! (((((Hugs)))))
Dear Libelle,
Thank you for that “score” on performance and technical merit! LOL I really was proud of myself on that one (Pat Pat) and I do think it was easier for me because I NEVER really trusted her or liked her in the first place the entire time she was married to my son, so though her ACTS WERE AWFUL, there was NO “emotional betrayal” of trusting someone and then being shafted, so I think actually that part (not trusting her to start with) made it easier for me.
I can see that the more we trusted/loved them the deeper the hurt—no matter WHAT or how horrible the act!
With my egg donor, my trust (at one time anyway when I was a child) was complete, and when THAT was destroyed, the devestation was much worse for me.
I got a call last night that one of my egg donor’s firt cousins died and the funeral is Thursday (out of town) and then the burial will be at our family plot locally in the early afternoon. Then the wake will be at the local brother’s home. I will I know be “excused” for not making the funeral, and the egg donor will be at the garve-side service, so I think I will run over to the local cousin’s home afterwards and if the egg donor’s car is there I can leave and not stop, and if she comes (I don’t think she will unless the weather is TOOO bad for her to be at the graveside) So I can probably attend something and see the family at least and not run into her.
I didn’t go to my first cousin’s suprise 50th BD because she was going ot be there and I didn’t want to run into her there, but I called him afterwards.
The collateral damage that they do if we share a “circle” of people in the community/family is just part of the damage they do to us. I’ve come to ACCEPT that as “just what is” and not grieve over it any more. My egg donor’s mask is so thick only my sons and I know what’s behind it.