A sociopath is someone who has a pervasive and persistent disregard for the rights and feelings of others. This disregard is manifested in the antisocial behavior sociopaths show. While we usually think of antisocial behavior as criminal, not all antisocial acts are illegal. A person who slips up once is not a sociopath. Sociopathy is a lifestyle.
Since humans are designed to live in society, a healthy personality has prosocial inclinations. Therefore, people who are pervasively antisocial are disordered in the sense that they are not the norm (thank God). Although antisocial behaviors are observable actions like lying, stealing and assault, there are personality traits that cause antisocial behavior. It should come as no surprise that people who have a sense of entitlement, over-rate their own greatness and have poor self-control are more likely to hurt others and show pervasive antisocial behavior.
The American Psychiatric Association has defined a group of personality disorders it calls “cluster B”. According to a recent paper* by German psychiatrist, Christian Huchzermeier, M.D., “ The cluster includes disturbances of personality that go hand in hand with emotional dysregulation phenomena, a tendency towards aggressive—impulsive loss of control, egoistic exploitation of interpersonal relationships, and a tendency to overestimate one’s own importance.”
The disorders of “cluster B” go together because what underlies them is a disturbance in three developmentally acquired abilities I have called The Inner Triangle. These abilities are:
Ability to Love
Impulse Control
Moral Reasoning
These abilities that a child gains during development are a triangle because the development of each depends on the other two. A child begins to acquire ability to love in the first year of life, impulse control begins in the second year of life. At two years of age there is already a link between ability to love and impulse control. Children with the best impulse control also are the most loving/empathetic. Moral reasoning begins in the third year of life and its development depends on a loving nature and impulse control. Similarly the most moral kids are also the most loving and self-controlled.
I think of the cluster B disorders as different manifestations of damage to the inner triangle. I think of sociopaths as individuals who completely lack ability to love and have impaired impulse control and moral reasoning.
Given the Inner Triangle, it should come as no surprise that it can be difficult to find people who have only one cluster B personality disorder. For that reason individuals with antisocial personality, narcissistic personality, borderline personality and histrionic personality often have symptoms of the other disorders. If someone gets a diagnosis of only one of these, it doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t also have one or all of the others. The person making the diagnosis simply thought that the one chosen best described the person. You should know there is a gender bias in diagnosis such that women are often labeled “borderline.” These women can also be sociopaths who leave a trail of victimized friends, lovers and children in their wakes.
A recent study reported in Behavioral Science and the Law, “The Relationship Between DSM-IV Cluster B Personality Disorders and Psychopathy According to Hare’s Criteria: Clarification and Resolution of Previous Contradictions” examines the relationship between psychopathic personality traits as defined by the screening version of the PCL and Cluster B personality disorders. The authors of this study were careful to examine people who had only one cluster B disorder. They found psychopathy to be associated with all cluster B disorders.
The authors conclude:
“One clinical implication of our results, nevertheless, is that in cases where a cluster B personality disorder is diagnosed a high psychopathy value is to be expected, especially where antisocial, borderline or narcissistic personality disorder is involved. The PCL score is a better predictor of subsequent events, such as problems during (criminal) custody or a relapse into delinquency, than a diagnosis of a DSM-IV personality disorder, especially in forensic populations; therefore, an additional investigation with the PCL should be carried out, if a cluster B personality disorder has been diagnosed.”
It is important for Lovefraud readers to be aware of this study especially if there is a divorce/custody proceeding or a cluster B personality disorder has been diagnosed. Many people might think that if the partner has been “diagnosed borderline” or “diagnosed narcissistic” that means the partner is not a psychopath/sociopath. This study suggests otherwise. IF YOU ARE INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS THESE YOU HAVE TO CONSIDER THEIR HARMFUL BEHAVIOR AS AN INDICATION OF PSYCHOPATHY/SOCIOPATHY. There are some people with cluster B, histrionic, borderline and narcissistic disorders who are not highly antisocial. But if the person is lying, cheating and manipulating, that is antisocial behavior. This behavior in the context of any cluster B means the person is potentially very dangerous. As the authors state:
“Screening for PCL-based psychopathy can also be important for general psychiatric patients with a DSM-IV personality disorder, so that potential difficulties in the course of their treatment can be anticipated and this comorbidity can be targeted in the planning of therapy. Patients with both a DSM-IV personality disorder and PCL-based psychopathy can exhibit behavior that is particularly dangerous to therapy (Stafford & Cornell, 2003).”
If you have been diagnosed with borderline personality and reading this frightens you, I am sorry. You can improve by working on your inner triangle. Talk to your therapist about DBT a treatment that is very effective in improving the state of the Inner Triangle in people who are motivated to do it.
*The reference for the paper discussed is Behav. Sci. Law 25: 901—911 (2007).
Rune,
Facebook has not even opened any of my mail and I’ve been sending them almost once a day for a month. If anyone has a good suggestion, I’m open to it.
Sabinne: How about trying to call corporate hq? Here’s the PR department in Silicon Valley. CA UsA (650) 543-4811. or http://www.facebook.com/press/contact.ph… .
Justabout – Yeah, he may THINK he won…that’s ok…I know the truth…I WON…I won MYSELF back!
I feel for his kids – 10 year old daughter has the traits of HIM to a tee and his 12 year old son is very high risk. Could you imagine if I HAD stayed, dealing with HIM AND HIS DAUGHTER??? Oh, chit, LOCK ME UP NOW!
I had cut off all bonds with his kids last year…and it bugged him that I didn’t want ANY involvement with them. I told him WE were on such shakey ground that it wasn’t fair to bring the kids into this. I KNEW I wasn’t going to stay with him – just had to find the courage to LEAVE!
I am excited about starting my new life now…it’s been 3-1/2 years of literal HELL! Tough lesson – lesson learned and STILL learning and reading!
I am sitting here at work, shaking. My ex just called my cell…number came up unknown and I was blindsided and answered. He said he had been calling and leaving messages and decided to block his number figuring I would answer. He asked if I have been avoiding him and I said yes. He asked WHY and I said WE’RE DONE. He asked WHY and I said too much has happened, too much pain. He said well, I thought we were going to put the past behind us. I said well, the past keeps slapping me in the face in the present and the past constitutes what the future will be like and you aren’t gonna change and will always be a player, so GOOD BYE AND HAVE A NICE LIFE! And I hung up…
Called my sponsor after that…she said she is proud of me and KNOWS how hard that was for me. Deep breaths in…exhale out….
DJhere2:
Good for you. I well remember how even hearing my ex’s voice could set me to shaking and ruin my day. You set a boundary and you stuck to it–good for you.
Now that he knows you will answer an “unknown” call, be prepared for more of them. Don’t answer at all, don’t listen to his voicemail, don’t engage at all. It will get easier and easier.
DJhere2-Good for you! We keep learning. Tood’s right! Got voice mail? Caller ID? If you don’t want to talk or don’t know who it is, don’t answer. They’ll leave a voice mail if they want, or “evidence”, as it’s decribed here at Lovefraud.
I get a really neat Caller ID show up…TELEMARKETER…I don’t answer and they never leave a message. Frankly, I’m surprised they’re in business…or diabolically, it could be the x or her boyfriend…LOL (they’re not real smart).
DJhere2, you’re right, the ONLY way you can win against a sociopath is to walk away and not look back. You can’t play their games and win. That must have been scary to get blindsided by a phone call from him, but your response was great! He might see it as a challenge, but if you maintain NC, he’ll eventually give up and move on and you win.
I don’t answer any calls on my cell from any number I don’t know as a general rule, I figure if it’s important they’ll leave a message and then I get to decide what I want to do about it on my own time. If it’s from someone I don’t want to talk to I’ll just delete the message and go on.
Is there an exorcist in the house?
Midnight Reflection – So glad you popped up just now… I cant keep up quick enough with all the posts and all the comments I want to make. Once I start reading, I cant stop. LOL. But I want you to know when I read one of your most recent post about the choices youve made and the way you have accepted what you went through and moved on with your life, and dealt with the challenges w/your x as well as will your husband, etc. it was so concise, precise, well said and well read. To me it was a reflective post from someone who has truly healed or is at the top of the mountain about to make her way back down on the other side. Another inspiration here at LF. Thank you.
Jim? Did you see that? What the HECK was that? From “Old”? It’s gone now…how did THAT happen?