A sociopath is someone who has a pervasive and persistent disregard for the rights and feelings of others. This disregard is manifested in the antisocial behavior sociopaths show. While we usually think of antisocial behavior as criminal, not all antisocial acts are illegal. A person who slips up once is not a sociopath. Sociopathy is a lifestyle.
Since humans are designed to live in society, a healthy personality has prosocial inclinations. Therefore, people who are pervasively antisocial are disordered in the sense that they are not the norm (thank God). Although antisocial behaviors are observable actions like lying, stealing and assault, there are personality traits that cause antisocial behavior. It should come as no surprise that people who have a sense of entitlement, over-rate their own greatness and have poor self-control are more likely to hurt others and show pervasive antisocial behavior.
The American Psychiatric Association has defined a group of personality disorders it calls “cluster B”. According to a recent paper* by German psychiatrist, Christian Huchzermeier, M.D., “ The cluster includes disturbances of personality that go hand in hand with emotional dysregulation phenomena, a tendency towards aggressive—impulsive loss of control, egoistic exploitation of interpersonal relationships, and a tendency to overestimate one’s own importance.”
The disorders of “cluster B” go together because what underlies them is a disturbance in three developmentally acquired abilities I have called The Inner Triangle. These abilities are:
Ability to Love
Impulse Control
Moral Reasoning
These abilities that a child gains during development are a triangle because the development of each depends on the other two. A child begins to acquire ability to love in the first year of life, impulse control begins in the second year of life. At two years of age there is already a link between ability to love and impulse control. Children with the best impulse control also are the most loving/empathetic. Moral reasoning begins in the third year of life and its development depends on a loving nature and impulse control. Similarly the most moral kids are also the most loving and self-controlled.
I think of the cluster B disorders as different manifestations of damage to the inner triangle. I think of sociopaths as individuals who completely lack ability to love and have impaired impulse control and moral reasoning.
Given the Inner Triangle, it should come as no surprise that it can be difficult to find people who have only one cluster B personality disorder. For that reason individuals with antisocial personality, narcissistic personality, borderline personality and histrionic personality often have symptoms of the other disorders. If someone gets a diagnosis of only one of these, it doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t also have one or all of the others. The person making the diagnosis simply thought that the one chosen best described the person. You should know there is a gender bias in diagnosis such that women are often labeled “borderline.” These women can also be sociopaths who leave a trail of victimized friends, lovers and children in their wakes.
A recent study reported in Behavioral Science and the Law, “The Relationship Between DSM-IV Cluster B Personality Disorders and Psychopathy According to Hare’s Criteria: Clarification and Resolution of Previous Contradictions” examines the relationship between psychopathic personality traits as defined by the screening version of the PCL and Cluster B personality disorders. The authors of this study were careful to examine people who had only one cluster B disorder. They found psychopathy to be associated with all cluster B disorders.
The authors conclude:
“One clinical implication of our results, nevertheless, is that in cases where a cluster B personality disorder is diagnosed a high psychopathy value is to be expected, especially where antisocial, borderline or narcissistic personality disorder is involved. The PCL score is a better predictor of subsequent events, such as problems during (criminal) custody or a relapse into delinquency, than a diagnosis of a DSM-IV personality disorder, especially in forensic populations; therefore, an additional investigation with the PCL should be carried out, if a cluster B personality disorder has been diagnosed.”
It is important for Lovefraud readers to be aware of this study especially if there is a divorce/custody proceeding or a cluster B personality disorder has been diagnosed. Many people might think that if the partner has been “diagnosed borderline” or “diagnosed narcissistic” that means the partner is not a psychopath/sociopath. This study suggests otherwise. IF YOU ARE INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS THESE YOU HAVE TO CONSIDER THEIR HARMFUL BEHAVIOR AS AN INDICATION OF PSYCHOPATHY/SOCIOPATHY. There are some people with cluster B, histrionic, borderline and narcissistic disorders who are not highly antisocial. But if the person is lying, cheating and manipulating, that is antisocial behavior. This behavior in the context of any cluster B means the person is potentially very dangerous. As the authors state:
“Screening for PCL-based psychopathy can also be important for general psychiatric patients with a DSM-IV personality disorder, so that potential difficulties in the course of their treatment can be anticipated and this comorbidity can be targeted in the planning of therapy. Patients with both a DSM-IV personality disorder and PCL-based psychopathy can exhibit behavior that is particularly dangerous to therapy (Stafford & Cornell, 2003).”
If you have been diagnosed with borderline personality and reading this frightens you, I am sorry. You can improve by working on your inner triangle. Talk to your therapist about DBT a treatment that is very effective in improving the state of the Inner Triangle in people who are motivated to do it.
*The reference for the paper discussed is Behav. Sci. Law 25: 901—911 (2007).
Jim: I took the survey before the book came out, and I learned a lot about myself. I also liked the in-depth information in the book. I learned that I like who I am, or was before I was snared by this last S/P. I found that so many of us share really, really good qualities. I’ll see if I can find the survey so that you can take it. I believe Liane Leedom would be scoring it, and you could probably figure out how to modify your answers to be gender appropriate. (Easier and faster than you going for the op!)
If you are reading “Without Conscience,” consider that most of the study behind that book was on convicts in the Canadian prison system. (I believe that was where Dr. Hare had his primary focus.) I also learned a lot from that book, although the S/P I was involved with had not served any long prison sentences. (Not yet, but there’s still time . . .!) Again, you might want to do a bit of creative consideration as you match the book info with your experience. Within the past year I had another brush with “crazy,” this time with a woman boss who mentioned at some point that she had been diagnosed BPD. At the end, all I saw were the very strong traits of the psychopath. No two ways about it! Some people think that “BPD” in women is just how the same motivations as S/P present in the female gender.
Rune…like Oxy says…TOXIC…covers ’em all.
BTW, about a week-10 days ago, temps hit 63 (for 5 minutes).
Top on jeep comes down at 60 degrees, or 59. I did 75 miles. Could have used more sun and less wind. I wear a hat…the blue lips were a nice look….
I read “Women”, too. I have to admit that the personality hallmarks fit me to a “t” — extravert, etc.
After reading the book, I don’t think it matters if you are male or female, gay or straight. I think the data fits anybody who makes the fatal mistake of falling in love with a sociopath.
I was talking to a friend today who has been in what I will politely term a “problematic” relationship for several months. He is usually pretty savvy about people, but the more I’ve been listening to him, the more I realized he was in brain fog.
As I listened to him today talking about how secretive the guy he was seeing is, how he’s suddenly been pulling disappearing acts because my friend stopped giving him information on the business they are both in etc, I finally said to him “I know you’re not seeing it, so I’m going to point it out. You are going through exactly the same thing I went through with ‘the deceased’.” I think you’re dealing with a sociopath.
He thought for a minute and said “Thank God — old Matt is back. I was counting on you to give it to me straight.” He’s lucky. He’s only been twisted up with this character for 2 months. And I pointed out to my friend that his S is following the classic timetable — good behavior for a couple of months, and then the mask starts slipping.
One small step for man, one giant step for…
Hooray, Matt!!! Good for you! And I’m delighted to hear you confirm my suspicions that we all share similar traits — all of us targets — regardless of gender or gender preference. No wonder we all seem so comfortable with each other here in cyberspace.
Matt,
You are a good friend and have probably saved him so much time and anguish. At least, I hope he “heard” you. I know I never heard anything anyone said to me for years. I was love blind. Sadly, sometimes I wish I still was.
Anyone ever feel like that? Kind of like the movie “The Matrix”? Sometimes I wish I was back in the Matrix. It’s a lie, but it’s a comforting one.
Jeez, Rune! I bet you don’t wish you were! I really am thinking of the “honeymoon” period, I guess. The time when I thought I had found someone special. Well, he was “special” alright, lol! Damn, was he “special”!
this is about DJHERE,, please read….. today Djs x-asshole broke into her house and stole everything.. her flat screen her computer the extra key to her car, weapons and who knows what else.. .. what do we do for her. please help.. I am posting this for DJ since her computer is now gone.. thsi man is really wacked,, since the robbery, he has text her telling her shes not going anywhere.. how could she love him one moment and hate him the next. that something is wrong with her.. i know shes ok. but im so affraid for her tonight.. she called the cops and the found a mountain dew can that he was drinking out of and left prints on. there running the prints now.. we realize she may not get her things back, but god only knows what he may find on her computer. what do we do next..??????????????
Dear niknakpattiwak,
Thank you for being DJ’s friend. My suggestion is that she stay someplace he cannot find her. If she has a job maybe someone can escort her to and from work. Hopefully they may arrest the arse-hole and put his butt in jail.
That is so typical of the Ps. The thing is to induce fear in her, to get even with her for not letting him control her.
Hopefully she has enough AA buddies to help her keep safe, and I hope that they will rally for her until he is arrested.
Tell her that I will keep her in my prayers tonight and daily! And give her a hug for me too! I hope she gets her stuff back, but who knows he may have trashed it or thrown it into a ditch or sold it. That is a big downer for her I am sure! (((Hugs for you both))))
Everyone: How does Niknak know? What is this?
Rune-I remember niknak posting as a “witness” for DJhere2 when she first came on. She was pretty supportive. I think, like all of us at one time, DJ thought no one would believe her story. I hope and pray DJ is OK. I’ll assume niknak is here for her until I find any reason to doubt it.