A sociopath is someone who has a pervasive and persistent disregard for the rights and feelings of others. This disregard is manifested in the antisocial behavior sociopaths show. While we usually think of antisocial behavior as criminal, not all antisocial acts are illegal. A person who slips up once is not a sociopath. Sociopathy is a lifestyle.
Since humans are designed to live in society, a healthy personality has prosocial inclinations. Therefore, people who are pervasively antisocial are disordered in the sense that they are not the norm (thank God). Although antisocial behaviors are observable actions like lying, stealing and assault, there are personality traits that cause antisocial behavior. It should come as no surprise that people who have a sense of entitlement, over-rate their own greatness and have poor self-control are more likely to hurt others and show pervasive antisocial behavior.
The American Psychiatric Association has defined a group of personality disorders it calls “cluster B”. According to a recent paper* by German psychiatrist, Christian Huchzermeier, M.D., “ The cluster includes disturbances of personality that go hand in hand with emotional dysregulation phenomena, a tendency towards aggressive—impulsive loss of control, egoistic exploitation of interpersonal relationships, and a tendency to overestimate one’s own importance.”
The disorders of “cluster B” go together because what underlies them is a disturbance in three developmentally acquired abilities I have called The Inner Triangle. These abilities are:
Ability to Love
Impulse Control
Moral Reasoning
These abilities that a child gains during development are a triangle because the development of each depends on the other two. A child begins to acquire ability to love in the first year of life, impulse control begins in the second year of life. At two years of age there is already a link between ability to love and impulse control. Children with the best impulse control also are the most loving/empathetic. Moral reasoning begins in the third year of life and its development depends on a loving nature and impulse control. Similarly the most moral kids are also the most loving and self-controlled.
I think of the cluster B disorders as different manifestations of damage to the inner triangle. I think of sociopaths as individuals who completely lack ability to love and have impaired impulse control and moral reasoning.
Given the Inner Triangle, it should come as no surprise that it can be difficult to find people who have only one cluster B personality disorder. For that reason individuals with antisocial personality, narcissistic personality, borderline personality and histrionic personality often have symptoms of the other disorders. If someone gets a diagnosis of only one of these, it doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t also have one or all of the others. The person making the diagnosis simply thought that the one chosen best described the person. You should know there is a gender bias in diagnosis such that women are often labeled “borderline.” These women can also be sociopaths who leave a trail of victimized friends, lovers and children in their wakes.
A recent study reported in Behavioral Science and the Law, “The Relationship Between DSM-IV Cluster B Personality Disorders and Psychopathy According to Hare’s Criteria: Clarification and Resolution of Previous Contradictions” examines the relationship between psychopathic personality traits as defined by the screening version of the PCL and Cluster B personality disorders. The authors of this study were careful to examine people who had only one cluster B disorder. They found psychopathy to be associated with all cluster B disorders.
The authors conclude:
“One clinical implication of our results, nevertheless, is that in cases where a cluster B personality disorder is diagnosed a high psychopathy value is to be expected, especially where antisocial, borderline or narcissistic personality disorder is involved. The PCL score is a better predictor of subsequent events, such as problems during (criminal) custody or a relapse into delinquency, than a diagnosis of a DSM-IV personality disorder, especially in forensic populations; therefore, an additional investigation with the PCL should be carried out, if a cluster B personality disorder has been diagnosed.”
It is important for Lovefraud readers to be aware of this study especially if there is a divorce/custody proceeding or a cluster B personality disorder has been diagnosed. Many people might think that if the partner has been “diagnosed borderline” or “diagnosed narcissistic” that means the partner is not a psychopath/sociopath. This study suggests otherwise. IF YOU ARE INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS THESE YOU HAVE TO CONSIDER THEIR HARMFUL BEHAVIOR AS AN INDICATION OF PSYCHOPATHY/SOCIOPATHY. There are some people with cluster B, histrionic, borderline and narcissistic disorders who are not highly antisocial. But if the person is lying, cheating and manipulating, that is antisocial behavior. This behavior in the context of any cluster B means the person is potentially very dangerous. As the authors state:
“Screening for PCL-based psychopathy can also be important for general psychiatric patients with a DSM-IV personality disorder, so that potential difficulties in the course of their treatment can be anticipated and this comorbidity can be targeted in the planning of therapy. Patients with both a DSM-IV personality disorder and PCL-based psychopathy can exhibit behavior that is particularly dangerous to therapy (Stafford & Cornell, 2003).”
If you have been diagnosed with borderline personality and reading this frightens you, I am sorry. You can improve by working on your inner triangle. Talk to your therapist about DBT a treatment that is very effective in improving the state of the Inner Triangle in people who are motivated to do it.
*The reference for the paper discussed is Behav. Sci. Law 25: 901—911 (2007).
Niknak is in AA with DJ, she mentioned it in a post further up this thread. They are best friends IRL. DJ posted back telling Niknak she loves her and she rocks.
I hope the cops can tie the SOB P to the theft. Stay strong DJ, fight back with whatever resources you have. I’m sorry that he’s taken it to a level you can’t ignore and I hope he’s left enough of a slime trail that they can nail his butt to the wall.
Mid-nite is correct, I read the post that Nicnak had posted and the same response from DJ, they are AA buddies.
LIke Mid-night said, I hope they tie the SOB to the theft, but that still may not recover her stuff, but at least it is a start! The main thing is to keep D SAFE, because I have no doubt that if he will trash her place (commit a felony) in retaliation, he would HURT HER PHYSICALLY!
BTW Midnight, welcome from me too!
If he has DJ’s computer, it might be very important for NikNak NOT TO REVEAL too much information on her whereabouts, etc. until he is hopefully apprehended. But certainly somehow keep us informed that she is in a safe place and surrounded by alot of support right now.
DJ is okay today.. and yes i am DJs best friend, its ok guys, ive known whats been going on with Dj for quite some time now. it was just recently that we found this site for her to post on, and to get such fantastic help from you all.. Im only posting this becuz DJs pc was ripped off.. yesterday he text her the same time he was ripping hero off telling her he found a new job with a friend from 7 to 7. and that he started work yesterday the same time he was at her house.. now hes texting her asking if she still has her job,, if they have laid her off.. is she still there.. and that she will be losing her job.. what hes up to now i have no idea.. but please know that she is ok, and i will NOT post anything about her where abouts.. she will be getting the restraining order today if possible.. he does have another key to her car, and of course DJ is concerned of him stealing her car.. im am very concerned about him hurting her.. my fiance is escorting her around today.. i am in texas working and can not be there with her.. but she is in my prayers every single day, she has a wonderful AA suport group.. but i am very scared for her safety.. she will be relocated asap for a while at least..and i will keep you posted on how she is doing.. thank you all for your support for my best friend..this site has made her see just what she is dealing with,, and hopefully we can get her out safely..HE WILL NOT BRING HER DOWN EVER AGAIN… if i have anything to do with it..man i cant believe what a wacko he is.. very dangerous and very wicked..the police were called this morning to find out if anything has been done, but obviously hes still out there cuz he texts her at 4:45 in the morning and now texts her from unknown numbers.. her locks have been changed and so far so good.. thanks again to you all..
niknak: Thank you for the update. There is an excellent program somewhere in Texas run by a police department, I believe, about keeping women safe. They seem to understand this type of guy. I’ll see if I can get that info. Perhaps a spokesperson from that source could help encourage the police to do the right thing — if that is necessary.
Thanks for the welcome, Ox.
Niknak, yes, thank you for the updates. I would worry about him trying to hurt her too. He’s crossed a big line now. At this point all you can do is try to keep her safe and collect as much evidence as you can.
hi rune.. i think you misunderstood me .. im in texas working for a few months.. DJ is in so california,, thats where she needs to find some help from.. he just text her saying “hey miss judgemental… and what makes you think god condones this kind of behavior,, you better get grateful DJ and stop treating people like shit,, You still 5150 or what??” then he text the third step prayer to her and said ” missing you”.. OMFG is he for real…shes changed all her bank accounts, changed all her locks.. and is heading to the court house for a restraining order.. but shes still alone and he has the extra key to her car.. oh she just text me and said the dealership will re program her key to the car.. thnk god.. so far shes ok,, police still havent gotten him.. but soon we hope.. thanks guys. and thanks rune for your help..
Hi niknak: My thought is that sometimes the police are more understanding of a complex situation (with an S/P creates) if they get reinforcement that helps them to understand from a similar agency — another police agency, even if in a different state. I’ll see if I can find that website.
niknakpattiwak:
Tell DJ to also place security freezes on all her credit reports with Equifax, Transunion and Experian. If he has had access to her social security number or other accounts, he could screw with her credit. The last thing she needs to add to her headaches is identity theft.
I hope her ex isn’t lurking on this site. He could try to post on DJ’s account. We need to keep an eye out for this.