A sociopath is someone who has a pervasive and persistent disregard for the rights and feelings of others. This disregard is manifested in the antisocial behavior sociopaths show. While we usually think of antisocial behavior as criminal, not all antisocial acts are illegal. A person who slips up once is not a sociopath. Sociopathy is a lifestyle.
Since humans are designed to live in society, a healthy personality has prosocial inclinations. Therefore, people who are pervasively antisocial are disordered in the sense that they are not the norm (thank God). Although antisocial behaviors are observable actions like lying, stealing and assault, there are personality traits that cause antisocial behavior. It should come as no surprise that people who have a sense of entitlement, over-rate their own greatness and have poor self-control are more likely to hurt others and show pervasive antisocial behavior.
The American Psychiatric Association has defined a group of personality disorders it calls “cluster B”. According to a recent paper* by German psychiatrist, Christian Huchzermeier, M.D., “ The cluster includes disturbances of personality that go hand in hand with emotional dysregulation phenomena, a tendency towards aggressive—impulsive loss of control, egoistic exploitation of interpersonal relationships, and a tendency to overestimate one’s own importance.”
The disorders of “cluster B” go together because what underlies them is a disturbance in three developmentally acquired abilities I have called The Inner Triangle. These abilities are:
Ability to Love
Impulse Control
Moral Reasoning
These abilities that a child gains during development are a triangle because the development of each depends on the other two. A child begins to acquire ability to love in the first year of life, impulse control begins in the second year of life. At two years of age there is already a link between ability to love and impulse control. Children with the best impulse control also are the most loving/empathetic. Moral reasoning begins in the third year of life and its development depends on a loving nature and impulse control. Similarly the most moral kids are also the most loving and self-controlled.
I think of the cluster B disorders as different manifestations of damage to the inner triangle. I think of sociopaths as individuals who completely lack ability to love and have impaired impulse control and moral reasoning.
Given the Inner Triangle, it should come as no surprise that it can be difficult to find people who have only one cluster B personality disorder. For that reason individuals with antisocial personality, narcissistic personality, borderline personality and histrionic personality often have symptoms of the other disorders. If someone gets a diagnosis of only one of these, it doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t also have one or all of the others. The person making the diagnosis simply thought that the one chosen best described the person. You should know there is a gender bias in diagnosis such that women are often labeled “borderline.” These women can also be sociopaths who leave a trail of victimized friends, lovers and children in their wakes.
A recent study reported in Behavioral Science and the Law, “The Relationship Between DSM-IV Cluster B Personality Disorders and Psychopathy According to Hare’s Criteria: Clarification and Resolution of Previous Contradictions” examines the relationship between psychopathic personality traits as defined by the screening version of the PCL and Cluster B personality disorders. The authors of this study were careful to examine people who had only one cluster B disorder. They found psychopathy to be associated with all cluster B disorders.
The authors conclude:
“One clinical implication of our results, nevertheless, is that in cases where a cluster B personality disorder is diagnosed a high psychopathy value is to be expected, especially where antisocial, borderline or narcissistic personality disorder is involved. The PCL score is a better predictor of subsequent events, such as problems during (criminal) custody or a relapse into delinquency, than a diagnosis of a DSM-IV personality disorder, especially in forensic populations; therefore, an additional investigation with the PCL should be carried out, if a cluster B personality disorder has been diagnosed.”
It is important for Lovefraud readers to be aware of this study especially if there is a divorce/custody proceeding or a cluster B personality disorder has been diagnosed. Many people might think that if the partner has been “diagnosed borderline” or “diagnosed narcissistic” that means the partner is not a psychopath/sociopath. This study suggests otherwise. IF YOU ARE INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS THESE YOU HAVE TO CONSIDER THEIR HARMFUL BEHAVIOR AS AN INDICATION OF PSYCHOPATHY/SOCIOPATHY. There are some people with cluster B, histrionic, borderline and narcissistic disorders who are not highly antisocial. But if the person is lying, cheating and manipulating, that is antisocial behavior. This behavior in the context of any cluster B means the person is potentially very dangerous. As the authors state:
“Screening for PCL-based psychopathy can also be important for general psychiatric patients with a DSM-IV personality disorder, so that potential difficulties in the course of their treatment can be anticipated and this comorbidity can be targeted in the planning of therapy. Patients with both a DSM-IV personality disorder and PCL-based psychopathy can exhibit behavior that is particularly dangerous to therapy (Stafford & Cornell, 2003).”
If you have been diagnosed with borderline personality and reading this frightens you, I am sorry. You can improve by working on your inner triangle. Talk to your therapist about DBT a treatment that is very effective in improving the state of the Inner Triangle in people who are motivated to do it.
*The reference for the paper discussed is Behav. Sci. Law 25: 901—911 (2007).
Indigoblue:
“Really I guess that was not his mug shot at the county jail I saw busted for possession.”
But, hope springs eternal.
Indigoblue:
I don’t understand why. After all, they take your photo from all 3 angles. You’d think there would be one that he liked.
Mine has only one trip through. But, I’m hoping he becomes a regular.
Rune,
My ex is brilliant. Has almost a photographic memory. He can observe the demonstration of an extremely complex procedure and years later know just how to do it. He amazed me sometimes. Too bad he uses his intelligence only for his twisted desires. Back when I was starting to realize he had had an affair (at the time I was thinking singular and past tense; ha!) he offered to take a lie detector test. I have absolutely no doubt he would have passed it. He has utter confidence in his ability to persuade people of his sincerity. And with good reason, considering what he got away with for so long (that only came to light for me because of a couple of wild flukes, miracles, really). If I ever mentioned that anyone–friends, family, therapists, etc.–had a negative opinion of him he would say that was because they were only talking to me, that if they talked to him, they would think differently. Scary thing is, he was right.
On the “too good to be true” part, I remember something Secret Monster said here once, and I think my ex used the same tactics. S.M. would allow himself to get caught in maybe a small lie, or admit to some small infraction. That way his wife would think he’s such an honest guy and he’d get away with the big stuff.
Matt,
I have said the same thing about my ex and his use of AA lingo. That he used it as a weapon. He would twist it around for his perverse use. Yeah, 12 step groups are great, but I think we have to be as wary of the people in them as we would the members of any organization that provides some kind of automatic cover for socios, like religious institutions, etc.. I know I am, well I used to be, a gullible, trusting person. I can’t afford to be that way anymore. A week ago I was having lunch with a friend and talking about the new husband of another friend. I was saying so and so was a really nice guy. Suddenly I stopped myself and said, “He *seems* to be a really nice guy.” When I said that I couldn’t help but cry because I realized this is what my ex has done to me. I can never look at anyone the same. I can never accept anyone at face value again. Heck, if my ex could fool me, and I lived intimately with the man for 18 years, how can I be sure of anyone else?
Gillian:
I know what you’re saying about never looking at anyone the same again and accepting them at face value.
At first I used to hate S for robbing me of my innocence. More recently I’ve decided for my own safety and sanity it is better to let people prove themselves to me. I think that’s a good thing. By taking a wait-and-see approach, it keeps me from jumping into anything too quickly.
“Diagnosis” of any mental condition is not always easy to get a handle on, not like if a person comes in and you can do an X-ray and see a broken bone, or a tumor on an MRI or CT scan. Getting the “whole picture” is like putting a puzzle together and takes time and an “over view” of their thinking and behaviior.
Unfortunately, sometimes counselors who ONLY see the patient in the office and more or less have to take the “word” of the person about how they are doing on the outside, etc. it may indeed be very difficult to diagnose a “personality disorder” especially if they are pulling their usual con jobs and mouthing all the “platitudes” and “philosophy” that they have learned in previous counseling or therapy or AA or whereever the learned to mouth the words that got them what they wanted. It is just another con job.
I have been conned, we ALL have been, to one degree or another, and counselors are just human beings who can only see part of the picture.
My mother (what ever her diagnosis is and I’m NOT sure) is very careful to NOT show her arse—she is a GREAT ACTRESS and keeps her mask up except when she is enraged, frustrated and then ONLY to me. I’m the designated scape goat now. I sincerely doubt that she is the only “dysfunctional” person who is pretty well controlled in how and when she displays her rage and bad acting. I can’t imagine any psychiatrist seeing only my mother and hearing her version of how her daughter (me mistreating her) znd looking at this very beautiful nicely dressed articulate soft spoken, tearful, pitiful and emotionally “devestated” woman could even get a glimpse of the FACE BEHIND THE MASK.
My P son is much less successful on keeping his mask up for long periods of time without showing his narcissistic grandiose opinon of himself as so much smarter than the rest of the human race, and with his limited life experience OUTSIDE OF PRISON, he lacks many social skills etc that he would have developed if he had been incarcerated later, rather than earlier.
When he was out of prison between the home invasion robbery where he went to prison for 2 years at age 18-20 and got out for 5 months, and then back in for murder at 20 yrs old, I was only around him for one weekend and it was a contest of wills and venom. So I can’t judge how he behaved except that he lived with my husband’s niece for those five months and she said that he was extremely crude in his language and stories he told, and that he appeared repulsive to most of the people in her circle. His table manners were horrible and disgusting, and the one time I saw him that weekend, his dress was pretty “low class” (He had had pretty good taste in clothing when he was a teenager and dressed nicely) The one time I saw him, he was dressed more like a “Pimp” than any other one-word discription I can give of his dress—“flashy,” but low quality clothing (fake snake skin boots) etc. Of course this all looked “great” with his jail house swagger.
He was trying to present a “portrait” of the “successful” ex-convict when he came home (of course to prove to me that he was “doing well.”) He had somehow secured credit to buy a brand new vehicle. After his arrest he was absolutely rabid about me gettin ghis truck out of impound and holding it for him (of course, me making the payments on it) I talked to his attorney about this and his attorney advised me “Mrs. Drover, I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you, he won’t be needing it for quite some time.” After that I have no idea what happened to it or any other of his possessions.
A patient have “dual diagnosis” is not uncommon at all in my experience. Dr. Leedom also mentioned many Ps are also bi-polar and/or ADHD, and if you add in all the different diagnoses so that maybe they have 4 or more, I think it increases the propencity for violence. (OF ONE SORT OR ANOTHER)
The fact that my son can seethe in rage and dreams of revenge for decades for the few times we went head to head and I “won” that round, lets me know that if he ever does get out of prison, we will come face to face in a Mexican-Standoff if he can find me. It wouldn’t bother him in the least to jump parole, he’s done it before, and haul out up here on the off chance he could find me, but I will cross that bridge when I get to it, so not going to SWEAT about it til he gets out.
They all CAN be dangerous I think if they are thwarted in something that they feel entitled to.
As far as the overlap in the Cluster B group of disoders, I don’t think they vary all that much from each other in many SIGNIFICANT ways.
They don’t bond well with the human race in general, and individuals in particular.
They have no “moral”compass
They either enjoy hurting others, or don’t care if they do.
The have a feeling of entitlement to special treatment and rules don’t apply to them.
I want what I want and I want it nowl. There are soem though that can plan “long cons” that can go on for years if the conditions are right, especially if there is a pretty good sized reward and they don’t get caught.
I wonder what the estimated population of “Cluster Bs” in the US (the percentage) If you included the Ns, etc etc and added them all up, I would estimate that somewhere between 15-20% of the general population coulld “qualify” for Cluster B.
I’m tired to night and not my usual fast paced typing or thinking
What I think of when I consider cluster B personality disorders and potential psychopathy is the ancient concept of an Achilles heel.
In other words, you can be aware that a person has histrionic, borderline, narcissistic or antisocial traits, but think to yourself: s/he hasn’t done anything awful thus far in his/her life.
Maybe not. Maybe his or her behavior has thus far only been mildly annoying or inconvenient from time to time. What’s going to happen if him/her put under pressure? What’s going to happen if you decide to divorce him/her?
Now you’re dealing directly with the very aspect of his/her personality that is a serious problem. You’ve rejected a Narcissist or Histrionic, causing them to feel horribly wounded. S/he is going to “fight back”. (Yes, all the awful things about to be unleashed are defensive as far as they’re concerned.) You’re deserting a Borderline? Their deepest fear is abandonment. Of course s/he is going to go absolutely postal. As for having entered into a contest with an anti-social, well of course s/he is determined to win at any and all costs.
You can end up in deep trouble with any one of these personality types, without any warning (in the form of personal history) that they have psychopathic tendencies. They may not ever become dangerous, unless you strike at the very heart of their most serious personal issues.
This is how the “S/he suddenly snapped and became a monster” scenarios come into being. This is how “He’s a pillar of our community. If his wife is desperate to escape him, she must be a basket case.” church responses occur.
S/he does have impulse control – in church. S/he does obey the law – unless s/he is desperate to retain control of an escaping spouse. S/he can explain ethical and moral issues in intricate detail – but all’s fair in a war with an “enemy”. S/he oozes love and compassion – for anyone who doesn’t threaten his/her self image.
I have gone a few rounds with cluster Bs. I’ve got a modestly valid opinion. Here it is:
If you observe a relatively benign manifestation of cluster B in someone, you should become acutely situationally aware. There are specific ways to get on the bad side of each type. If you do this, you will encounter the “Psychopathic” aspects, even if they’ve never manifested in this person before.
Most of us don’t spend our time on parole boards or trying to figure out how to negotiate our survival in a prison population. We’re not parole officers, nor do we attempt to rehabilitate the criminally insane. We’re just trying to make it through the next family reunion and stay out of hot water at civic league meetings. We need to know what to do with the cluster Bs who haven’t gone psycho…
…yet.
One of my fellow Marines has a grenade he’s very fond of. Really and truly, the two go way back. They’ve got history. Sometimes he picks it up and runs his fingers over it, as if it were a string of worry beads. Over the years, a few people have wondered about his sanity. They’ve asked him about his odd little memento. He rolls his eyes and says, “Well it’s not like I’d ever pull the pin!” It sits on his desk in an oasis of martial training and warrior bonding, far away from curious children and people naive enough to mistake it for a paperweight. The old grenade belongs there, and it makes complete sense in that context.
Don’t remove it from that context, and for God’s sake don’t pull the pin.
Elizabeth: I love your thoughtful observations and/but . . . with some of these, they may be controlling the situation in ways that you can’t see. Your fellow Marine sounds “relatively safe,” considering. Taking it two steps further, a P with a long-con strategy might be saving that grenade for a visit from the kids at the daycare center.
We don’t know what’s in their heads, and I agree with you, I really don’t think their history necessarily predicts their next behavior or their level of danger to society.
In your example of the “Pillar of the community,” I suspect that either the pillar or the wife could be disordered, and who knows who is telling the truth? And assume that both of them have some dysfunction because they’ve been doing the dance of accommodating a disorder that may originate with one, but that affects the behavior of the other as well.
Did Scott Peterson “snap”? I was once married to someone I now recognize very clearly as an S/P. His whole family lived by the rule, “Now you know how he is. Don’t make him angry.” The problem, of course, was that anything or nothing could “make him angry,” and that was how he manipulated generations in that family. Yes, he turned into a stalker, and wreaked untold damage after I left him, and he sort of fits your description — and I don’t know how I could have gotten away sooner or cleaner.
This last life-destroying adventure was with someone who played “pillar of the community” — apparently — up until his divorce. His involvement with me looked like a real romance, until he dropped the mask and I realized I had simply been the target of his long con. There was no precipitating event. There never was violence, no “actionable” threats — nothing I could take to the police. That made it all the more devastating. Now that I know what to look for, I think he’s the guy who would take the grenade to the daycare center and leave it in the toybox, eagerly watching the news for word of the inevitable disaster.
Dear Rune,
“I suspect that either the pillar or the wife could be disordered, and who knows who is telling the truth?”
You and I know how to see the patterns under the words that reveal who’s telling the truth.
Anyone who observes that using the congregation to manipulate and/or punish the wife is controlling, exploitive, manipulative, abusive behavior is privy to the truth. A wife in such a situation IS absolutely bonzo. Controlling, exploitive, abusive, manipulative behavior has that effect on victims. The question isn’t “Who’s crazy?” The situation is crazy! The question is “Which of them, if either, should we actively aid?” The rest of us need to stop playing along with the agendas of N/S/P personalities.
Before encountering a Cluster B we used to think these situations were he said/she said. Now that we’ve been there, and done that, we are capable of deeper understanding. People who assume these situations are he said/she said are hearing without listening and seeing without observing. To be fair, they don’t know what to listen for; they don’t know what to observe. We DO know what needs to be discerned. All we have to deduce is who’s doing the controlling, abusing, manipulating and/or exploiting. The rest is static.
I truly believe that if you were privy to such a situation, you would have the insight to perceive the truth.
As for the Marine, that’s someone I failed to describe well. Don’t sweat that one. The world’s a better place because of his beautiful brand of crazy.
I’ve read recently 48% of people diagnosed with BPD can be treated and CURED. I’ve also read that if totally untreated, 1/3 of the people diagnosed with the condition will not fit the profile two years later.
The only person I personally know who was diagnosed was made miserable by her therapist. She saw someone else and was successfully treated for depression. Today she in no way fits the profile. When she was diagnosed, she somewhat fit the profile, but I would have described her as an unusually ethical person with no worse than average impulse control. As for her ability to love, there did seem to be a bit of a problem there, either in her ability to express it or her ability to understand it. I’m still not sure which. Any how, the diagnosis didn’t really fit, and she found the label extremely distressing.
Is it possible that many people diagnosed with BPD really suffer from depression or post traumatic stress disorder?
Not trying to rock anyone’s boat here. Just wondering!